Flute Corner
Posted at 4:34 pm on 9/1/98
Here, look at this, it's our Justin Flute and his 'Flute Corner. It's a funny old game, life really and to observe it can be even stranger. Behold some bits to fill the gaps, starting with Extracts from 'Poems Not on the Underground' and finishing with Justin's picks from the web. If you are really bored at work or if you are just plain curious...

Jesus Addresses the Multitude at Oxford Circus

Blessed are the Tube travellers; for they deserve the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that stand; for they shall be comforted (eventually).

Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit a seat (complete with chewing gum).

Blessed are they who do hunger and thirst in the dark; for them the platform Cadbury's machine is waiting (empty).

Blessed are the delayed; for they shall obtain mercy (one day).

Blessed are the claustrophobics; for they shall see God down there (standing too, no doubt).

Blessed are ticket inspectors; for they shall be called the sons of God (and a lot else besides).

Blessed are they who are prosecuted for righteousness' sake; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven too - only heaven's in Zone 12 (verses 5-7) and their ticket's for 3.

Blessed are ye, when men shall push you, and shove you, and attempt all manner of falseness for a place on the escalator.

Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad (or mad); for great is your reward in heaven - that's if you get there; unfortunately, as you've just heard, the next train terminates at purgatory.

Hamlet at Kennington

Tube, or not to Tube: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The stinks and elbows of obnoxious passengers,

Or to take refuge in your Walkman,

And by ignoring end them? To die: to nod off:

No more; and, by nodding off:

The bone-ache, the delays, the thousand disturbances

The Underground is heir to, 'tis an escape

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to have a kip;

To sleep; perchance to miss our stop: ay, there's the rub.

World Wide Web Wonderings

Muppets www.henson.com

(try out the muppetiser. Translate your favourite saying into muppet speak)

Chicago www.chicagothemusical.com

UH www.herts.ac.uk

Shooting Stars www.comedyzone.beeb.com/shooting_stars

Theatre news www.uktw.co.uk

Rail timetables www.railtrack.co.uk/travel/

Star Wars www.starwars.com

Innovations www.innovations.co.uk (get 10% off all orders)

Loot www.loot.com (place ads for free)

Music & video www.imvs.com

UK hotels www.s-h-systems.co.uk/shs.html