News from the RESIDENTS OF ASHTREE HOUSE JASON, BRIAN, MEL, NEIL & MIKE

Recouperating at his newly refurnished abode after a difficult few weeks confronting the money-snatching, purse-grabbing high street mafia know as 'the retailers', Michael Crane BSc, MSc, has been quoted as saying "That's it! That's the last Christmas we're having!". Yes, even for the grandfather of the Drama Society, old Father Xmas has just gone a bit too far this year.

"Spicey Girls, Telephone Tubbies, Mammagotcha cider pets - what will be next?! I remember when a few glasses of port, and some Havana cigars was just the thing to get one in the festive mood whilst roasting ones nuts on the open fire"

And one cannot but ask the question, what will be next? Well, we took a representative sample of the nation's populous and asked them what Christmas really means to them.

Says Melissa Nash "Well you don't have to go along with it. You can do what you want to do really. Just do your own thing. Everyone agrees that it is commercialised - well most people - just like Valentines Day and Father's Day"

"People shouldn't moan about going Christmas shopping and should expect it to be busy"

When asked about Christmas commercialism, Brian Benson replied: "Oh do you want me to come out with something? Do I say something now? Commercialism. Christmas. It s funny how so many people like the crap things about Christmas; Buzz Lightyear last year, Tele tubbies this year and what about that latest number one - Perfect Day. Wouldn't it be a perfect day if the BBC put something good on Christmas Day instead of the same old crap they always come out with. Moan moan moan, blah blah blah"

Jason Dyson almost shares the same birthday as little holy infant and had this to say: "The first thing I would like to say is Happy Birthday Jesus, oh and me. I don't really think about Christmas that much. The commercialism is definitiely bad; it detracts from the real meaning of Christmas. I did notice this year that at the end of August, shops started putting up their decorations. Some shops, anyway"

So there you have it; commercial or not, there does not seem to be much we can do to turn the yule tide. But not completely beaten by the christmas presence, Michael has made a last attempt at putting the Christ back into Christmas.

Together with the other members of Ash Tree House, he will be hosting an open house on the 13th December in an effort to put behind us the worries and stresses of the nineties nativity. They invite you all to pop-in and warm those cockles, sip some egg-nog and kiss each other under the mistletoe.

If you can attend, if only for a wee dram, guests are welcome from midday and into the evening. God bless you all and Merry Christmas!

(Sorry guys, due to deadline problems the invite is a bit out of date. So why not ring up the Ash Tree household instead and give them some festive cheer over the blower, oo er. It's good to talk!)