MADHATTERS GROWING UP SHOCKER!
Posted at 4:36 pm on 9/1/98
Madhatters are growing up and that's official!

EXCLUSIVE by our man in the field, Simon Hopes

You both met at the drama society - but that was a long time ago...', declared the Vicar at the recent Bruce and Jane marriage extravaganza. A little harsh, thought all those Madhatters present, but nevertheless true.

The unfortunate fact is that almost all of us are moving on, maturing and entering new stages in our lives. But just where is everyone in the 'growing up' stakes. Well after painstaking research, Madhatters magazine is proud to present the official 1997/98 Maturity Level Progress Chart.

You can now plainly see how far along the growing up scale some of our Madhatters are, some of us being clearly further down the road than others!

Please drop us a line and let us know how grown up you are. In order to beat our current leader, you'll need to be married, with four children, two dogs, three sheds and a matching trivet and serving spoon set.

  • MATURITY SCALE in descending order ranging from Completely Domesticated to Amoeba

    WINNING ENTRY: Rob and Jacqui Slinger - 41 points. Married, own a house, have 2 children, one cat, a shed, with another on the way (child not shed)

    Sion Hughes and Josie Gordon - Engaged, own a house, have two dogs, one cat need a shed, know what a trivet is

    Helen Balls - Engaged, own a house, has dogs, brought a shed, owns a trivet

    Simon Smith - Owns a house, needs a second shed

    Honey Langcaster-James - Owns two children

    Bruce and Jane Maclean - Married, own a house

    Tony Matthews and Jolyon Hennings - Own a house, recently brought top of the range steam wallpaper stripper

    Sam Roach - Engaged, owns a house, owns garage with pit, races minis

    Justin Flute - Owns a flat

    Simon Burges - MSc, owns large family saloon car, significant other but can't remember stuff

    Simon Bennett - Owns a house (in Hatfield), owns Playstation

    Andy Roughton - No joint purchases, unaware of what trivet is even after explanation

    Nic McMahon - Well, he's just a little too silly isn't he?