Liz 28/3/2002, 14:13
Email Not Given
Before I do go - if anyone would like to join the MK gang on Saturday night to celebrate me leaving work and my last visit to a pub for a few years then please come and join us. Give us a call at home for details.

Liz 28/3/2002, 13:44
Email Not Given
I reckon I can go now - I've just had my leaving presentation - how embarrassing - but lots of lovely pressies and flowers.

Ken 28/3/2002, 13:37
Email Not Given
Go for it Liz!

Liz 28/3/2002, 11:43
Email Not Given
My boss has just said goodbye to me as she thought it was my last day today - so I might just get away with it.

Sion 28/3/2002, 11:8
Email Not Given
Hi Liz, luv ya lots

Sion 28/3/2002, 11:7
Email Not Given
Before everyone goes out in sympathy for Liz, Avon do get the Tuesday off in compensation and la Smith does have the next few seasons off regardless, AND is having a party thrown for her by the Present Mrs Hughes on Saturday. I'd gladly work Friday for that package. Okay she has to squeeze out Elmo 'Watermelon' Smith in a couple of weeks but still!

Ken 28/3/2002, 9:29
Email Not Given
I'd like to wish all Madhatters everwhere a happy easter. Liz - I hope that you have a lovely day at work tomorrow-I think it is unfair, can't you pull a sicky? I also wanted to find out who called Castle Rodrigues in the early hours of last Sunday morning 00:12 according to the answerphone...just wanted to say sorry we missed you!

Badger 27/3/2002, 14:31
Email Not Given
Ann Dee, I have no idea what I'll be doing really. Going to America for the last two weeks in April. Beyond that is anyones guess.

Ann Dee 27/3/2002, 12:31
Email Not Given
Congratulations Badger, will we be seeing you move to St Albans too?

Badger 27/3/2002, 11:25
Email Not Given
Last day at work today. La-de-da and a big wha-hey........

Sion 27/3/2002, 10:8
Email Not Given
I liked the Drogo photo, it had Santa in it.

Ann Dee 26/3/2002, 14:19
Email Not Given
Indeed

Nick 26/3/2002, 14:6
Email Not Given
They think it's all over. It is now.

Ann Dee 26/3/2002, 10:52
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Mat. I thought we celebrated it in Paris on 17th Febrary, clearly I was wrong. Dave was there too, I'm surprised it didn't occur to him that it was all a big lie.

Dave Wid 25/3/2002, 21:43
Email Not Given
Sorry Brian, only joking, of course. You're welcome anytime you want, so long as you don't try and touch my bottom again.

Dave Wid 25/3/2002, 21:40
Email Not Given
Well, I've just finished a one week run of Little Shop of Horrors. It was very good, but now I can have a rest and perhaps a life. Speakingh of which, I've bought a house, and am going to live by myself for the first time in 11 years. What a novel Idea. Anyway, I should be moving in a week on Tuesday, so all are welcome to sunny Stone for a visit, except, of course Brian nee Benson.

Badger 25/3/2002, 11:7
Email Not Given
I'd just like to commend Mr. David Patrick on the veritable feast of ear damaging karaoke which he lovingly served up on Saturday. God bless you Sir for bringing the gift of music to the good people of St. Albans.

God 25/3/2002, 9:30
Email Not Given
You can't get better than mine

The Queen 25/3/2002, 9:29
Email Not Given
Mine's better than yours Ann Dee

Lesley 22/3/2002, 18:26
Email Not Given
Yes, my work will be great for the next 2 weeks... I'm one of those skiving teachers who's on holiday! Yay!

Ann Dee 22/3/2002, 14:7
Email Not Given
Well, I've now started a new job, and it's great. Does anyone else think their work is great?

Nick 22/3/2002, 9:21
Email Not Given
Send it off to Angus Deyton, so on Christmas Day we can all chortle at how we used to know John Mears before he was famous - when he had hair, flaired trousers and some old University band or another.

Scully 21/3/2002, 21:8
Email Not Given
I am working on a video for Will Hoy at the moment (ex British Touring Car Champion). I have been given a whole load of source material to work from of touring cars, rallying and F1. While watching to pick the bits I want to use I noticed a face I recognised in the F1 section, and yes it was none other than our very own John Mears!!! If anyone wants a copy say and I will e-mail it across (it is about 1.5Mb). It isn't hugely exciting, but it could be taken as a time share in his 15 mins of fame

Badger 21/3/2002, 10:27
Email Not Given
Happy New Year David. I also believe that the world would be a better place if we all observed New Year's festivities every day of the year. Oh, and let's not forget Christmas. Some people say that Christmas comes but once a year. That just seems a little naive though. Let's make every day a joint Chrtistmas and New Year's day. In fact, I'll start a petition to the government right now.

Chris 21/3/2002, 10:4
Email Not Given
If you can call running your own business a job then I still have one. Might sack myself though because I keep on turning up late.

Sarah 20/3/2002, 22:35
Email Not Given
That's because, like me they work for the government; crap pay but job security(?). Any way Nick,don't feel left out your life is about to change in 20 weeks time!

dave 20/3/2002, 17:58
Email Not Given
Happy New Year everyone. I want to sing it from the rooftops. Yes Nick, I believe you and Psi are the only people left in Madhatters who haven't had a career shattering change in the last few months. We fear change.

Psi 20/3/2002, 17:23
Email Not Given
BTW Dave, it might be time to retire the 'Happy New 2002' line above since we're 1/4 through the year now! (...when you get a chance... I don't mean to pester..., it's not that important..., in fact never mind..., I'll get me coat)

Psi 20/3/2002, 17:15
Email Not Given
I bloody wish I didn't have a job - I feel like I'm doing three at the moment and I haven't had a significant raise since 1997. Still, my old car is now fixed up and I will be picking it up in a week's time so I am happy.

Nick 20/3/2002, 16:10
Email Not Given
Can I just check - am I the only Madhatter left with a job? It seems redundancy / maternity leave / sacking / sabbaticals / early retirements are the way forward. I feel rather left out Maybe I should hand my notice in and move again. That seems to work.

Gary 20/3/2002, 14:48
Email Not Given
During the last two days I have fixed (with a greate deal of help from the parentage) every single plumbing related problem in my flat except the ones I haven't found yet. You will be pleased to know that I can now switch the hot AND the cold water off which makes it exceedingly unlikely I will now flood the place. The loo also now refills in less that half an hour - so definite progress. Just thought I'd share that with you.

Gary 20/3/2002, 14:44
Email Not Given
That's progress for you. No idea why it's called for the font by the way although I'm sure I was told once.

kevin 19/3/2002, 22:49
Email Not Given
It was renamed the HUB for one year. Loads of people didnt like it, so a referendum was held and they changed it back. Thats democracy for you.

Gary 19/3/2002, 18:4
Email Not Given
I thought The Font was now called The Hub.

Liz 19/3/2002, 17:1
Email Not Given
After 18 months of campaigning my 'Boss' has been made redundant today. So I'm very happy. Typical that I only have 8 days left at work before I leave so wont really feel the full benefit. But hurrah anyway.

Ann Dee 19/3/2002, 16:43
Email Not Given
Well, today I join the ranks of the unemployed following my redundancy. And very pleased about it I am too. For I have a meeting tomorrow which should see me in a new job on more money and a better environment than now. So I'm dead pleased about everything, mostly about the size of my cheque though which is nearly double what I was expecting. Ain't life grand? Has anybody else had anything happen which is twice as good as they'd expected?

Badger 19/3/2002, 16:41
Email Not Given
Liz, is that the American definition of a compact: Four doors, twin airbags and about 22mpg?

Liz 19/3/2002, 14:3
Email Not Given
Nick - apparently I'm compact. First time I've ever been called that - funny that I've had to put on 2 stone to be given that title!

Badger 19/3/2002, 12:30
Email Not Given
Hello everyone. Only another six and a half working days to go before I join the ranks of the unemployed. How exciting. It's like a dream come true and I'd just like to thank everyone who has made this possible; the company, the stock market, the people who don't buy our products. I even took the day off yesterday as a practise run and, quite astoundingly, I seem to prefer having my freedom to being sat in a dull grey concrete box for eight hours a day. Marvelous, simply marvelous.

Dinosaur 19/3/2002, 8:17
Email Not Given
and before anyone points out the obvious lexicographical error, yes I know it should be "Knowledge" rather than "Learning", but if students were knowledgeable, what the hell would they be doing at Hatfield???

Dinosaur 19/3/2002, 8:8
Dino@age-before-beauty.com
...maybe it's because students and lecturers spent more time in there drinking than they did attending lectures (in the days before the Elehouse became the main place to while away your lecture hours). i.e. 'font of all learning', etc.

kevin 18/3/2002, 21:25
kevin@taverner.co.uk
Someone on the uhsu message board has asked "how did the font get its name?" Does anyone here have any idea?

Nick 18/3/2002, 17:39
Email Not Given
Liz - My wife seems to have a bump the size of three bedroom semi. Is this normal?

Liz 18/3/2002, 14:40
Email Not Given
I had a great weekend - I got a really kind invitation from Northants Police to attend Speed School - whoops!

Ken 18/3/2002, 12:12
Email Not Given
I realised that I've missed couple of very integral words in my last posting that renders it useless. I meant to say that I am organising a sweepstake on the various outcomes of Elmo Smith and if I can get my act together I will put a posting on the website...Doh

Ken 18/3/2002, 12:9
Email Not Given
Not bad thanks Dave, managed to do a bit of plumbing and saw a very happy Liz Smith on Saturday, whose bump is getting bigger & bigger. By the way if I can get my act together I would like to put a the website where everyone can place a bet on the various outcomes of little Elmo Smith.

dave 18/3/2002, 9:52
Email Not Given
Yeah I'll come, but I might be a bit late. Good weekend everyone?

Social Incompetant 15/3/2002, 17:32
Email Not Given
Would anyone like to meet up for a drink in Old Street at 18:00 hrs on Tuesday next? I won't be there, but it would be nice to see everyone. Let me know if you can make it.

Ken 15/3/2002, 16:20
Email Not Given
Social Diary, might that be you John!

The Heavies 15/3/2002, 16:16
Email Not Given
Good. She owes me money. I'll send the boys 'round.

Social Diary 15/3/2002, 14:51
Email Not Given
Miss Lesley White will be singing in a performance of Mendelsohn's Elijah at 7.30pm on Saturday (tomorrow) in Southampton Guildhall. Tickets on the door from £7.

Observation 15/3/2002, 14:13
Email Not Given
Recession=Lack of Chat on website?

Stooge 15/3/2002, 11:18
Email Not Given
But I don't know your wife?

Comic 15/3/2002, 11:18
Email Not Given
No, Jamaica.

Stooge 15/3/2002, 11:17
Email Not Given
Jakarta?

Comic 15/3/2002, 11:17
Email Not Given
My wife went to the West Indies

Man 14/3/2002, 19:31
Email Not Given
No. Your fat makes you look fat. The clothes simply fail to hide it.

Woman 14/3/2002, 19:30
Email Not Given
Does this make me look fat?

Dinosaur 14/3/2002, 16:57
Dino@age-before-beauty.com
It's interesting to see that I've been to Egypt for a week and coming back I find very little of any consequence added to the caht (sic). Where have all the imaginative minds gone...and is it the same place as the broken hearts? By the way, Egypt was very hot and I burnt my front paw. Thanks for asking.

Liz 13/3/2002, 9:50
Email Not Given
For some light relief have a play on this site - very cute: http://www.kidstime.com/index.asp?layid=35&csid=266

Dave Wid 12/3/2002, 17:59
Email Not Given
But the whole point is, he doesn't. He was wrong and he doesn't apologise to the young Mr Swayze. No redemption and a sour taste in the audiences mouth. Or is that more because they've been forced to stomach such a torrent of trite bile for 108mins?

Dirty Dancing 12/3/2002, 17:56
Email Not Given
"When A'm wrong, A say A'm wrong'"

Nicole Kidman 12/3/2002, 14:6
Email Not Given
To all your gorgeous single boys out there, as you know the Oscars ceremony is only a couple of weeks away and I haven't got a date so please call me on 555-DATE-PLS or e-mail on Nic.Kid@aol.com with a photo. TA

Badger 11/3/2002, 14:32
Email Not Given
On a lighter note, my application for voluntary redundancy has been accepted and I leave my god awful job on 5th April - which is nice.

Badger 11/3/2002, 14:27
Email Not Given
Was Four Weddings and a Funeral really a 1994 film? Cripes! Soon that'll be like ten years ago. Before you know it, that'll be twenty years ago, then thirty years, etc. Then, before you know it we'll all be dead and none of us will care how long ago the film came out. Ah yes, it's another Monady here in my head.

Kath 11/3/2002, 12:29
Email Not Given
I also stayed up to watch four Weddings and sadly thought Hugh was cute! On the other side was Dirty Dancing a fab 80's girlie film - people used to say I looked like the girl in it with a bad permed bob. Oh dear. Only 5 days till my hols hurrah!

dave 11/3/2002, 11:11
Email Not Given
Now that I'm working from home it's harder for me to justify the amount of time I used to spend at the Madhatters site. However thank you Sion for your bad day - can't beat that ... can anyone else? Did anyone see 4 Weddings last night? Still a great film, but Andie Macdowell gets worse the more you see it. Ah, well 1994 - what a year. Now to archive the chat page.

Ken 10/3/2002, 23:38
Email Not Given
It's a load of arty tosh, which begins with death coming out of the ground and finding someone to have a dance with...are you with me so far...death and the unlikely woman decide to have a duet with one another...death enjoys this and decides to go further into her sub-conscience until the woman...wait for it...death then comes to the end of the duet and she dies...all I can say is that I had nothing to do with the writing of the story...I'm just involved in the production of it...I hope this explanantion what satisfactory Dave W!

Dave Wid 10/3/2002, 22:16
Email Not Given
Recorded Room 101 last week, with Johnny Vegas. Finally got round to watching it tonight, very funny indeed. Though I must admit, I was over cautious with my video programming and added a full 15 mins on the end. Well I'm glad I did. 10 mins of an old bird with her skirt nailed to the floor. Then in a box. What was that all about? I'm sure you can help me out Ken. Well, can you? Cos I cant sleep now. In fact I don't think I'll ever sleep again.

Nick W 9/3/2002, 14:19
Email Not Given
Liz, although Simon may demand an explanation - how about the Boney M classic Brown Girl in the Ring? How is your milkman by the way?

Sion 8/3/2002, 17:52
Email Not Given
Incidentally, if you thought you had a bad week at work read this. I was at watford crematorium yesterday to monitor the emissions from the chimneys (not as bad as it sounds honestly, nice grounds, pleasant staff). But this day there was to be a cremation of a 40, yes 40 stone (1/4 ton) dead woman (29 Years old!). The wardrobe sized coffin was impressive enough but the day took a grim turn into the surreal when the trolley she was loaded onto collapsed under the weight. The coffin fell on to the floor and semi-burst open in front of me releasing a rather unpleasant amount of ooze and a stench strong enough to raise the dead (well, thankfully not strong enough). Several hours and a dozen strong blokes later we (yes I chipped in to assist, muggins that I am) finally got her on her way to that sweet shop in the sky. How bad was your day?

Sion 8/3/2002, 17:42
Email Not Given
Have a nice weekend everyone. I've got a headache.

Liz 8/3/2002, 13:8
Email Not Given
Excellent - I particularly like the guess the size of the Mother to be's waist game. It could almost make you want to move out to the States - all these things that we're missing out on.

Sion 8/3/2002, 12:41
Email Not Given
Liz - Try looking at this it will either depress the hell out of you or cheer you up depending on your level of cynicism. www.dfcreations.com/BabyShower.html Guess which category I fell into?

Liz 8/3/2002, 11:5
Email Not Given
I'm beginning to regret this....

sion 8/3/2002, 11:4
Email Not Given
please do

Ken 8/3/2002, 10:40
Email Not Given
Liz's worst nightmare "Stuck in the Middle" by Steelers Wheel. That unreleased track by Cat Stevens " My water has broken...like the first morning etc etc ... I should get back to work.

Ken 8/3/2002, 10:13
Email Not Given
Sion, what about Stand & Deliver by Adam & the Ants

Liz 8/3/2002, 10:2
Email Not Given
Sorry - I just read that completely wrong and thought you were insulting Brian - only I didn't really understand the insult. Oh dear.

Sion 8/3/2002, 10:13
Email Not Given
Thanks for reminding me, Brain like a thingy, you know, mesh thing...whotsit.

Liz 8/3/2002, 9:20
Email Not Given
For some light relief on a Friday can anyone help out Sion - he has very kindly offered to make me a compilation tape for the birth and is in need of some inspiration - so far we have Push It by Salt 'n' Pepa and Here Comes The Son - any ideas?

Ken 7/3/2002, 15:43
Email Not Given
John a very interesting & amusing website, I'd put the author of timecube up there with Nostradamus. A complete wacko who clearly requires some form of therapy to cure him from his delusions of grandeur.

John 7/3/2002, 15:5
Email Not Given
I've been rumbled. The truth is finally revealed at www.timecube.com.

Ken 6/3/2002, 13:27
Email Not Given
Psi- you took the words right out of my mouth. The acting and the tech were V impressive.

Psi 6/3/2002, 13:4
Email Not Given
If anyone is dithering over seeing Gary's show - stop it and go. It was excellent, particularly technically.

Psi 6/3/2002, 13:3
Email Not Given
If anyone is dithering over seeing Gary's show - stop it and go. It was excellent, particularly technically.

B&H 6/3/2002, 12:3
Email Not Given
DW = Shirtlifter

Gary 6/3/2002, 10:57
gary@garystevenson.co.uk
Just a reminder that time is running out if you want to see One flew Over the Cuckoos Nest at the Hampton Hill Playhouse. Every night now until Saturday 9th March. Starts 7.45pm. Tickets £8. Please email me if you're interested.

Dave Wid 5/3/2002, 23:52
Email Not Given
Pufta

Benson & Hedges 5/3/2002, 11:0
Email Not Given
Who are you calling a fag? and what's all this caht bollocks, it's an old stale joke, lets just leave it there.

Unknown Person 5/3/2002, 1:20
Email Not Given
How do you "caht>?" ?

booty16 5/3/2002, 0:15
Email Not Given
anyone want to caht>?

Dave Wid 4/3/2002, 19:16
Email Not Given
Thats a good point Dave. What is it?

Dave Wid 4/3/2002, 19:15
Email Not Given
I apologise for causing such offence, though I feel that if you spend a little time browsing the site you may find that words like 'irony' spring to mind. I don't for one moment think that Brian will feel insulted and actually believe that I mean to cause offence by calling him a fruit. So, chill out my friend and enjoy this forum for what it is.

Sion 4/3/2002, 17:13
Email Not Given
Oh David, look what you've started. Sigh.

The exposer 4/3/2002, 16:47
Email Not Given
Ha! I know that's not really Julian Clary - it it was, he would have included a wearisome joke about anal sex. And how we all would have tittered.

Julian Clary 4/3/2002, 16:16
Email Not Given
Actually I thought it was very funny. And anyway, Brian is a fag.

PC World 4/3/2002, 14:59
Email Not Given
I'd like to give Marlboro Light a good telling off at this point, but I want at least one real gay person to back me up on this. Gay people out there: Was your goat got by Dave Wid's use of 'fag' as an insult? Or am I being oversensitive on your behalf?

Sion 4/3/2002, 13:31
Email Not Given
Yeah, you don't hear those of us who smell of poo whinging do you!

Marlboro Light 4/3/2002, 13:16
Email Not Given
I'm proud to be a fag, from my tobacco leaf feet to my brown filtered head. At least I'm not gay, that could cause me to be oversensitive to trivial humour.

PC World 4/3/2002, 11:54
Email Not Given
I hate to piss on Dave's comedy bonfire, but given that some of us actually ARE fags, isn't it in slightly poor taste to say that being one is an insult?

Sion 4/3/2002, 10:11
Email Not Given
I've asked you not to bring that up.

Dave Wid 3/3/2002, 17:54
davewild@clara.co.uk
2 Weeks till our show, so not been about much lately. We're doing (wait for it) Little Shop of Horrors. I don't know if any of you have ever heard of it before but its really quite good. Anyway, we start on March 19 till 23rd, so if any of you fancy a jaunt to sunny Stone in the midlands, drop me a line. Oh, I nearly forgot my customory insult. Brian's a fag & Sion smells of poo.

Ken 3/3/2002, 12:55
Email Not Given
Please set your video recorders for Dance for the Camera on Sunday night on BBC2 for half past midnight. It's the job I worked on last year. If anyone needs an explanation about what it all means just let me know.

Nick W 2/3/2002, 16:28
Email Not Given
I'm in a posh hotel in the Cotsworlds, and it's fab.

Sarah 1/3/2002, 18:45
Email Not Given
7 months to my birthday!

Liz 1/3/2002, 15:20
Email Not Given
Oh Please!

Ken 1/3/2002, 14:20
Email Not Given
More importantly 3 months to go for the world cup.

Santa 1/3/2002, 13:8
Email Not Given
Just over 41 weeks until Chritmas

Kath 1/3/2002, 12:31
Email Not Given
2 weeks till I go to NZ wahey! (not permanently - yet) Hope everyone has a great weekend

Liz 1/3/2002, 11:14
Email Not Given
Four weeks left at work - hurrah hurrah hurrah.

dave 28/2/2002, 23:25
Email Not Given
Good evening. I, er haven't got anything to say but my lack of chat on these pages of late is not a symptom of my non-interest. I've been watching Alan Partridge on UK Play, oh, er and the funny yellow people.

Sion 27/2/2002, 16:42
Email Not Given
I hope a burial at sea is on the cards. The mourners could all cry "He's fallen in the water!"

Spike 27/2/2002, 16:7
Email Not Given
You trying to tell me what i think?

Unknown Person 27/2/2002, 16:8
Email Not Given
"I told you I wasn't very well," was his preferred gravestone epitaph

Spike 27/2/2002, 15:20
beyondthegrave@heaven
Told you i was Ill

Psi 27/2/2002, 13:31
Email Not Given
And of course, on a lighter note happy birthday to Sarah.

Psi 27/2/2002, 13:30
Email Not Given
They're all goon now. It is sad. I'll bet his last words were funny though, he's had years to come up with them.

Nick W 27/2/2002, 12:26
Email Not Given
Goon, but not forgotten.

Sion 27/2/2002, 12:26
Email Not Given
I believe he liked to be known as 'Spike Milligna - The World Famous Typing Error'

scully 27/2/2002, 11:36
Email Not Given
Sad news of Spike Milligan - the godfather of silly goings on

scully 27/2/2002, 11:33
Email Not Given
Many happy returns Sarah, with hugs from Paul & Claire, who nearly made it to MK, but not quite.

Ken 27/2/2002, 9:29
Email Not Given
Happy birthday Sarah W, I hope you have fantastic day.

Unknown Person 26/2/2002, 17:13
Email Not Given
Simon Hopes where are you?

S Hughes 26/2/2002, 13:32
Email Not Given
I notice with pride that a S Hughes won a gold in the figure skating.

Nick W 26/2/2002, 10:53
Email Not Given
Yeah, in the Men's Hurling.

Sion 26/2/2002, 10:44
Email Not Given
Dave's got an olympic gold?

Just an observation 26/2/2002, 9:55
Email Not Given
Did anyone watch the women's curling in the Olympics? More importantly did they notice the the striking simarlarity between the captain Rhona Martin and a certain David Wild?

The Stalker 25/2/2002, 22:43
Email Not Given
John & Nick you've gone very quiet, you know what I'm like with bunnies don't you boys?

The Stalker 25/2/2002, 16:14
Email Not Given
John, how could you? It's only a matter of time before I find out where you live and the same goes for you Nick W.

Nick W 25/2/2002, 15:17
Email Not Given
So if The Stalker isn't you, who the hell is it?

John 25/2/2002, 15:15
Email Not Given
Just in case people think there is some kind of 'in joke' with me and Nick here, I would like to say that I don't know what he is talking about either.

Nick W 25/2/2002, 15:4
Email Not Given
I was up for it, but sadly John went for the vegetarian option.

The Stalker 25/2/2002, 14:46
Email Not Given
John & Nick W have you told your respective partners about me yet? P.S. Any more thoughts about doing the "spit roast"?

Nick W 25/2/2002, 10:9
Email Not Given
I went to a wedding on Saturday, and spookily enough Speakeasy weren't playing. Initially I though I was just in the wrong building, but no - and I was amazed to learn that there is other music based marriage entertainment available. They were crap of course, and in my heart of hearts I kind of missed Dave and the boys. But don't tell them that. It will only go to there head.

Le Burge 22/2/2002, 9:27
Email Not Given
Yes - everyone have a lovely weekend. It's 90 degs here today by the way. I feel deprived for not having seen Kylie's dress (or Kylie's anything else, for that matter)

dave 22/2/2002, 16:21
Email Not Given
Hello, Ken did we not have a curry date this Saturday? Are you going to Jolyon's do, if it is indeed a do? Lot's of hilarity has been ensuing, lovely. I suppose I should get off my sorry behind and archive the chat page again. Have a nice weekend everyone.

Scooby-doo 22/2/2002, 16:23
Email Not Given
I rather rike raggy, rankyou rery ruch.

Ken 22/2/2002, 14:40
Email Not Given
Nick, It's sunny in London at the moment. Just putting my NME & Q hat on, I thought that the Strokes were good though rather drunk and Sting was not that bad. I like Dido's songs, however I can't help but feel that she sings rather flat. Shaggy is a complete muppet who could not think or write anything original even if it hit him in the face. I shall know dismount from my high horse

Nick W 22/2/2002, 13:25
Email Not Given
I have just looked out the window, and we seem to have a snow blizzard. I think it's time to go home.

Sion 22/2/2002, 12:28
Email Not Given
As one of the oldest madhatters I'd like to confirm the 'they don't make music like they used to' truism. 21 seconds to go? We should be so lucky. Kylie - starting to look a little old and plastic, I feel. Danni any day. Quite like Gorillaz though. Policemen are looking young nowadays too.

Nick W 22/2/2002, 12:6
Email Not Given
What about that god awful drivel from the Gorrilaz. Bunch of old hairy monkey arse if you ask me

Badger 22/2/2002, 9:38
Email Not Given
Ken, you're a married man now and not supposed to comment on Kylie Minogue's arse. By the way, thank you again for having me (so to speak).

Ken 22/2/2002, 9:30
Email Not Given
Brit Awards: I just don't get rap music, OK so I might be getting long in the tooth and my hearing is going on the blink, but I could not understand the "So Solid Crew"...Kylie wore an interesting dress though...

jolyon 21/2/2002, 16:52
Email Not Given
Gary your dry sense of humour to the resque again!

Gary 21/2/2002, 16:16
Email Not Given
Dave, the members page has gone a bit screwy.

Badger 21/2/2002, 11:5
Email Not Given
Congratulations on your first posting my dear. The world of mobile telecomms is as dull as last night's dishwater I'm afraid. Applications for voluntary redundancy close tomorrow and then we'll find out who is allowed to go early in March. Ebay is indeed a fine thing. It's like the car boot sale of the world. Everything you could possibly want, from really useful items to complete and utter cr@p. Long may it reign.

Sam 21/2/2002, 10:45
Email Not Given
Helllooooooo Badger, how are you this fine and grey morning?? I have been drinking tea and hunting around on ebay which is really good fun thank you for the intro to it. I had a loverly nite tooo but everything smells of curry today!!! How is the owrld of mobile communications today?? xxxx

Badger 21/2/2002, 10:16
Email Not Given
Hello Sam. I hope you're feeling better today. I had a lovely time last night, so do say a big 'thank you' to Milsy for me and please do write something on this website.

Sion a.k.a. Mungo Grubb 20/2/2002, 16:2
Email Not Given
Try this http://www.chriswetherell.com/hobbit/default.asp

the jumbler 20/2/2002, 15:20
Email Not Given
Do you do this pair often?

Jolyon 20/2/2002, 14:56
Email Not Given
do you pair do this often?

Sion 20/2/2002, 14:58
Email Not Given
Much as I'd love to take the credit for that one Sion, I actually accompanied Oly to see LOTR. I knew you didn't want me there anyway.

Liz 20/2/2002, 14:43
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Thanks - I think.

Sion 20/2/2002, 14:7
Email Not Given
It was because you'd fallen over.

Liz 20/2/2002, 13:39
Email Not Given
Sion - you stood me up last night - I'm very upset. Please explain.

Sion 20/2/2002, 13:21
Email Not Given
Strange that in Jesus Christ Superstar where a castle-type wall would look good, black curtains were chosen to represent roman occupied jerusalem.

Badger 20/2/2002, 13:0
Email Not Given
Give 'em the old... big grey castle, made from card-board.

An ex president (possibly jolyon or simon)) 20/2/2002, 12:56
Email Not Given
All of our sets in the good old days met with all safty requirment of their day, and i belive the leap of faith and imaginatiojn it took on the part of the audience only improved the experiance as our sell out front rows showed at least one night in 3! I never lost anyone on stage! only on trips. However i agree that musicals are well...annoying is probably the most polite way of saying it. So on this occasion will decline..thanks anyway(unless entry is free? as i will soon loose my job)

Badger 20/2/2002, 12:53
Email Not Given
Ah yes, those were the days... Dancing around the big grey castles of downtown Chicago.

Badger 20/2/2002, 12:52
Email Not Given
Perhaps it could even be called 'Castle-cabana'.

Badger 20/2/2002, 12:50
Email Not Given
I'm only coming if the play is being set in a big grey cardboard castle.

Jolyon 20/2/2002, 12:49
Email Not Given
Yes i am alive and this weekend will be turning 30! (no panic it seeems that after 30 you just give up your job so quite looking forward to it) Anyhow for those interested i will be in the jazz club in Reading for a small meal and then to boogie the night away http://thejazzclub.co.uk/, so if anyone is interested it would be great to see you there. If anyone does have any diffferent plans other than just throwing in the towel after 30 then i would love to know. watch this space for a house warming when the weather is better

dave 20/2/2002, 12:0
Email Not Given
Yes Badger it was, which is always nice! Kev - I'm just wondering how to approach Copacabana, is that old big nose Manilow's musical? No disrespect but I hate musicals, I'll come along though just to be the old bugger in the corner complaining about the fact 'they didn't build set's like that in my day'. I hope for UHDS's sake that they don't. Brightly coloured cardboard ra-ra skirt anyone? Thanks for the info - any other Hatters interested in putting in an appearance?

Badger 20/2/2002, 10:38
Email Not Given
Hello David. Did you both have a good holiday? Also, was the house still there when you got back?

kevin 20/2/2002, 10:19
kevin@taverner.co.uk
All Madhatters are invited to the UHDS production of the musical Copacabana, which will be performed on the 6th,7th and 8th of March in the Prince Edward Hall. Doors 7.30pm. More details to follow...

dave 20/2/2002, 0:37
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Hello - everyone having fun. I've been away for a bit so it's nice to see the site in full action... although maybe I should be asking Cow & Gate for a sponsorship deal.

Sion 19/2/2002, 15:22
Email Not Given
Hell yes!

Liz 19/2/2002, 14:54
Email Not Given
Sion would you like to come over to ours tonight to watch some ads as Josie has a house full of girlies tonight?

Sion 19/2/2002, 14:8
Email Not Given
and then there's that nissan ad with the leaping dolphins- "intelligence attracts intelligence" my arse. Okay dolphins are pretty smart but be honest, they're not exactly Einsteins. Maybe it's a subtle point about nissan owners. Feel sorry for Josie. She has to live with this.

Liz 19/2/2002, 13:27
Email Not Given
That's cos its actually really bad for your skin and brings you out in blisters. May I suggest a rather delightful range of skincare and bathing products - have a quick look at www.avon.uk.com. And before you ask - yes I am on commission.

Sion 19/2/2002, 13:27
Email Not Given
Imperial Leather, there's another one that annoys me. I mean, it's a skin care product, so what do they play in the background? "burn baby, burn, disco inferno". Rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant

Ken 19/2/2002, 12:46
Email Not Given
I take your point Bruce, but if Elmo (a cute name given to Liz and Simon's baby by Mr Hughes) has been given baked beans for lunch; need I go any further Liz!

Sion 19/2/2002, 12:39
Email Not Given
Good girl Charlie, throw more poo at Dada. Underarm may be easier for you at this stage but when you feel comfortable using the overarm technique you'll find that your accuracy and speed will be worth the effort. Jane, you may wish to try this too.

Bruce 19/2/2002, 12:17
Email Not Given
Sion you are right Pampers are a far superior nappy but still I wouldn't expect you to want a chicken korma though. Mind you Ken's comment about baby poo is a bit miss leading, there are very few problems with the poo its self, now the velocity of the poo that is what you've got to be careful of!!

Bruce 19/2/2002, 12:2
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

Chris 19/2/2002, 11:31
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I don't work from home! I just laze about the office all day drinking coffee and charging it to expenses. Well except for the afternoons when I laze around the pub charging it to expenses.

Nick 19/2/2002, 11:26
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Er, Chris - surely lazing about the house is the whole essence of PR? Particularly if you work for yourself. From home.

Liz 19/2/2002, 11:21
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Hurrah for soft poo!

Sion 19/2/2002, 11:12
Email Not Given
The advert thatI don't get is with the woman worrying about constipation during her busy day ahead who doses herself on some leaf-based remedy so that all she has to worry about now are the screaming trots. Much better,eh? I also object to the slogan "Do it in Huggies", puts me right off my chicken korma that does

Mrs Agnes Beeflap (Aged 64 3/4) 19/2/2002, 9:31
Email Not Given
Oh George, I feel so upset that you have not mentioned me on this website. How could you say that you won this competition when you know full well we had planned this trip for the last six months. You said I was special and one day we would get married and have kids. No George (I'm not going to call you Georgykins anymore) you're not coming to Menorca you going to stay in Blighty & watch my ever so special tape of Countdown with Richard Whiteley (oh he's such a nice man) all week with your friend Richard Plamer...

George 18/2/2002, 17:32
Email Not Given
Time seems to be flying by me at the moment.. This is my first tea break since I last wrote on here, not that I would complain of slave laboury or nothing.. Anyway what makes me think that life is passing me by, is it all this baby talk from my contempories (BTW belated congrats to Nick and Sarah)? Could it be that I miss the point of adverts these days, such as the one for the amazing orange drink that can relieve even the most severe cases of constipation (personally I think the poor love is up the duff but ssshhhhh, she seems to be happy!)? Nope it's none of these, its that I am going to sunny Menorca on Saturday. Now I know what you are thinking, why is this giving me this strange sensation.. Well its a SAGA holiday! Okay so I won it, but even so.. Now I'm looking forward to the "you're gonna die soon" savings plans filling my post box when I return....

Sion 18/2/2002, 17:41
Email Not Given
Boy, am I going to pay for that.

Sion 18/2/2002, 17:40
Email Not Given
On behalf of Simon (whose work is far too important to allow him the luxury of spending all day on Madhatters.org) I would like to add cleaning the house, washing the windows, doing the laundry and servicing the car, all while maintaining a cheerful and loving outlook, all in a kind of 1940's ideal home stylee.

Ken 18/2/2002, 17:9
Email Not Given
You will be more than welcome to play on it once you've cleaned, changed and fed the baby 3 or 4 times a day, followed by ironing the clothes, making Simon's dinner for when he comes home...not that I'm trying to scare you or anything...and remember you have to deal with baby poo...is that everything Simon?!

Chris 18/2/2002, 16:53
Email Not Given
Why Nick? Will she spot the fact that all you ever do is laze around the house?

Nick 18/2/2002, 16:20
Email Not Given
Liz, will you stop with this lazing about the house rubbish. You are giving my wife all sorts of bad ideas.

Liz 18/2/2002, 14:46
Email Not Given
Ken - I've already discussed this matter with you - please behave. But can I borrow yours while I'm off?

Ken 18/2/2002, 14:46
Email Not Given
Gaz, you can put me down for 2 tickets for Saturday 9th March. Liz I think that Simon would love a Play Station 2!!

Liz 18/2/2002, 13:58
Email Not Given
Ha Ha Ha. Actually its probably warmer outside as our heating has packed up - we are suffering from a 'blockage' which could be fixed today but on the other hand it could take 2 weeks - marvellous. Anyway have you seen me trying to run lately?

Sion 18/2/2002, 14:3
Email Not Given
Run back in again, it's too cold to be outside

Liz 18/2/2002, 13:18
Email Not Given
Fantastic - I've just run out of work - I think maybe I've peaked a little early as I've got another 6 weeks left!

Gary 18/2/2002, 10:25
gary@garystevenson.co.uk
Madhatters may be interested in coming down to see a production of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest at the Hampton Hill Playhouse. Performances are from the 2nd to the 9th March at 7.45 except Sunday 3rd when it is 6pm. Tickets are £8 except Monday which is £5. Further information on the website - www.ttc-hhp.org.uk. Let me know and I'll get tickets for you.

Dinosaur 18/2/2002, 10:6
Email Not Given
Hey Le Burge...can you pop down to Santa Clara and tell my mate Steve H to call me as he promised? Thanks.

Le Burge 15/2/2002, 10:8
Email Not Given
I'm here now, but what with me being eight hours behind you've all buggered off home. And it's going to rain on Sunday. Anyway, another reason I guess no one seems to "chat" is the sudden spate of unfortunate redundancies of "six-month 'find myself' type sabbaticals" Have a good Monday

Sion 15/2/2002, 17:33
Email Not Given
Contemporize man!

Bam Bam Bigelow 15/2/2002, 16:40
Email Not Given
Chill baby. One day all shall return and there shall be much mirth shared and all seriousness and bad vibes will be cast assunder. Groovey.

Badger 15/2/2002, 15:26
Email Not Given
I'm sure this site used to be a lot better when people posted amusing messages here. I mean, look at this, it's Friday and I'm the only person here. Shame on you all. Oh, and I'm not helping at all as this message isn't in the least bit amusing. Shame on me too.

Bam Bam Bigelow 14/2/2002, 17:34
Email Not Given
Hi guys, I'm the new pop sensation Bam Bam Bigelow. Me and my band, The Salty Bonnets will be forming real soon and I'm sure well give that shoddy lot the Love Spunkeys a real run for their money. Watch this space, kids.....

Ken 14/2/2002, 14:39
Email Not Given
What was Sion doing at a hospital?

Unknown Person 14/2/2002, 15:5
Email Not Given
Just thought I'd tell you all how wonderful Mr Simon Smith is. Not only can he make Liz pregnant, but he's made our PC work too, and picked Sion up from hospital in the rain. We love you Simon.

Dinosaur 14/2/2002, 11:27
Email Not Given
Anything with ganja in it is worth a trip.

Liz 14/2/2002, 8:34
Email Not Given
Thanks Si - but she's not really my type.

Le Burge 13/2/2002, 15:4
Email Not Given
Surely anything with Liza Goddard in it is worth a trip

Liz 13/2/2002, 14:50
Email Not Given
Anyone know anything about the play doing the rounds called 'Single Spies' starring Robert Powell and Lisa Goddard - it reaches Northampton in a couple of weeks and I'm just wondering whether its worth a trip.

Ken 13/2/2002, 9:43
Email Not Given
John, I am happy to be of service to you. I shall indeed be going to Josie's birthday which will be a cracker!!

John 12/2/2002, 19:21
Email Not Given
Josie - sorry, I actually can't make your birthday bash, and neither can Lesley. My excuse is that I'm working, and Lesley's is that she hasn't got anyone to drive her up there, because her boyfriend's working. Ken, thanks for the picture addition. That's the best picture of us I've ever seen.

Monkey Spanker 12/2/2002, 17:30
Email Not Given
Not all of us have been invited...if I had I would have 'shuffled my knuckles'.....mmmmm

Josie 12/2/2002, 15:25
Email Not Given
Hello. DId you know you can get internet access in your local library? Isn't technology amazing! See all of you that are coming up for MY BIRTHDAY on Saturday soon, and yah boo sucks to those of you that can't make it!

Nick 12/2/2002, 10:40
Email Not Given
Most amsusing photo, Ken

Madame Ginger 12/2/2002, 9:32
Email Not Given
I'd like to take this opportunity to brand all you cross-dressers in Madhatterland phoney and I intend to make a mockery of them, stay tuned.

Crap Joke Man 12/2/2002, 9:27
Email Not Given
You'll never guess who I bumped into in Specsavers the other day.. ... everyone!

Mike Haver 12/2/2002, 9:27
Email Not Given
....distraction from work?... I though this was work! Good Morning to the two of you... any anyone else who like me reads this page but never adds anything..until now.

Ken 12/2/2002, 9:25
Email Not Given
Good morning to you Monsieur Badger and Mr Haver, indeed where is everyone? By the way I feel I should apologise to John and Lesley for the photograph of them cross- dressed, not that they have done that before.

Badger 12/2/2002, 9:15
Email Not Given
Good morning Mr Haver. Good to see I'm not the only person looking to the Madhatters website for some distraction from work.

Mike Haver 12/2/2002, 8:25
Email Not Given
Hey I'm still here Badger...... although normally I keep very quiet and bask in the light-hearted and amusing banter that goes on all around me on this site! Sorry to hear about Josie's job - does this mean that Sion is the breadwinner in the house - can you take that responsiblity Sion? Looking forward to Saturday night - does Josie want donations towards her meal? - I'll start by giving her half of my Pilau rice!

Badger 11/2/2002, 17:25
Email Not Given
Where the hell is everybody?Watching daytime tv I guess. Hmmm, tv.......

Badger 11/2/2002, 11:24
Email Not Given
We all have gifts. MIne is the ability to spread a little darkness.

Sion 11/2/2002, 10:23
Email Not Given
Morning Badger, you really know how to cheer us all up, ta.

Badger 11/2/2002, 9:18
Email Not Given
Oh crap, it's Monday again. How exactly did that happen? etc, etc, etc, whine, whine, whine......

Literal being 9/2/2002, 2:27
Email Not Given
...beer...yeeuck!

Sarah 7/2/2002, 19:18
Email Not Given
Your'e a model housemate.

Simon H 7/2/2002, 16:13
Email Not Given
Currently I am abiding by all the rules of the Patrick/Payne household. I have been digging the toilet out after I have used it and not making too much noise after 4am.

Unknown Persona 7/2/2002, 14:52
Email Not Given
SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF IRONY

Jay Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips with the concept of irony. "It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "great weather eh?" and I thought - "wait a minute, no way is it great weather". Fullmer then realised that the other man's 'mistake' was in fact deliberate. Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3, plans to use irony himself in future. "I'm like using it all the time." he said. "Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them to shit and I said "hey, great weather!".

Unknown Person 6/2/2002, 16:39
Email Not Given
Two goldfish in a tank, one says to the other "Do you know how to drive this?"

Ann Dee 6/2/2002, 10:34
Email Not Given
I'm going skiing on Friday night. It's not a joke but it cheers me up.

Kath 6/2/2002, 10:17
Email Not Given
Anyone got any good jokes to cheer me and everyone else up??

John 5/2/2002, 14:5
Email Not Given
Josie, I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like your bosses have put quite a lot of effort into messing with your head.

Liz 5/2/2002, 13:44
Email Not Given
Josie - keep happy - just remember what a fab weekend we've just had. (Thanks again Ken & Sarah) Your attachment didn't work I'm afraid so I'll collect your CV tonight. Don't suppose you managed to run the hoover around while you popped in to use our computer?

Badger 5/2/2002, 13:43
Email Not Given
Hello David. How was Trisha this morning, or do you favour the oh-so-sincere qualities of Montel Williams? Also, is Simon behaving himsef?

Josie 5/2/2002, 13:16
Email Not Given
Can you believe it - I've had to come into my mum's office to look on the site because our home PC has died! Redundant and PC-less. Isn't life crap sometimes!!! By the way, my ASK e-mail is no longer the way to contact me for obvious reasons. Try my on josiehughes@talk21.com, although I'm very bad at checking it! Anyone know of any jobs...

dave 5/2/2002, 12:12
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
For anyone seeking Redundancy comfort I suggest a quick sojourn to the audio section of the site. Listen to the 'Redundancy Blues' man - I tell you, it's like way ahead of it's time. By the way anyone wishing to contact me via e-mail please use my dave.patrick@bigfoot.com address. Cheers

Badger 5/2/2002, 10:35
Email Not Given
Ok, so now I feel like a complete cu#t for actually wanting to be made redundant. Proof positive of my uncanny ability to put my foot in my mouth at the most inappropriate times. Josie, all will be well I'm sure.

Ken 5/2/2002, 10:11
Email Not Given
Josie asked me to let Madhatters know that she has unfortunately been made redundant and will be leaving the office today...Can't life be a bitch sometimes...chin up Josie I'm sure something good will happen and that certainly goes out to everyone else who is still looking for a job...by the way Paul, good luck with the cash pay out if it comes.

Badger 5/2/2002, 9:56
Email Not Given
BT Cellnet have just announced 1,400 redundancies. It's what I've been holding out for. Time to start begging for a cash payout. Wish me luck.......

Sion 5/2/2002, 9:33
Email Not Given
Busy week. See you all next week. Fab time at center parcs. thanks Ken and Sarah

Bruce 4/2/2002, 18:37
Email Not Given
Well yes it is true the world is no longer safe. As Dave wrote, Charlotte Amy Maclean was born on the 21/1/02. Just like to thank all of you who have sent e-mails and cards. Jane and Charlotte are both well and I am knackered (like any one cares if I'm OK!! It was all my fault any way!). Anyway I'm leaving work now to go change some nappies and to catch up with all the crap TV on in the small hours of the morning.

Steve Phipps 4/2/2002, 15:14
Email Not Given
Dave: Don't forget the Alumni moot tonight. We can share a beer in the Font and mull over how to get back into work...

Badger 4/2/2002, 13:57
Email Not Given
David. It's lovely to hear from you. I have been checking back at the site every so often but I had pretty much come to the conclusion that I was the only Madhatter left alive. I heard about your news and I’m sure things will ‘turn out nice again’ sooner or later. I am still praying for the axe to fall here and then, who knows, maybe I will end up living in one of your cupboards as well. I’m very quiet and I don’t eat much, if anything. I do have a very fine mental picture of you and my brother spending all day sitting on a sofa together watching daytime tv and eating Wotsits, or some other savoury products – maybe even a nice piece of cake every so often. I am suitably jealous. Ah well, I’ve made it half way through Monday already so I guess that’s progress of sorts.

dave 4/2/2002, 13:6
Email Not Given
Hi Badge, erm I'm at home doing stuff at the moment 'cos I am now a home worker. Cool. Simon is in his room tapping something about stuff and worrying about the fact that it's raining. We are not watching daytime TV - honest.

Badger 4/2/2002, 10:41
Email Not Given
Oh crap, it's Monday again. How exactly did that happen? It seems like I was only just here. Ah well, I hope everyone had a good weekend. Who would like to start this week's Madhatters 'chat' by writing something amusing......

Literal being 3/2/2002, 16:4
Email Not Given
...blankets...(though, technically speaking they're inside rather than on)...

Le Burge 1/2/2002, 16:2
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
I've been away from this sight for just two weeks and it has definitely taken a turn towards the weird. Bruce and Jane - congratulations. Who is Jerry Brown and what was his posting about (it was far to long to even begin the process of contemplating whether to read it)? Oh, and I understand that it's a bit cold and windy in merry old England. Never mind.

John, not Bill Bryson 1/2/2002, 18:4
Email Not Given
Nick, yes it would, but it wasn't actually me that wrote that posting...I mean it wasn't me who wrote it...or should it be, it was not I who wrote it. What I'm trying to say is that I never done it. All right?

Badger 1/2/2002, 14:28
Email Not Given
Kev, a most entertaining website. Have you seen the flash animations of all three movies at www.dudestudios.com? That's another guy with way too much time on his hands.

scully 1/2/2002, 11:24
Email Not Given
Kev - that is someone with far too much time on their hands.

kevin 1/2/2002, 10:47
Email Not Given
http://www.asciimation.co.nz/

Nick W 1/2/2002, 8:26
Email Not Given
John.... Er... Troublesome words? Would that be the generous birthday present I bought you?

Steve Phipps 31/1/2002, 16:8
Email Not Given
Simon H: I thought you were going to send your 'writer's guide' through to Carolyn?

Josie 31/1/2002, 16:1
Email Not Given
Si - it was an observation, not a complaint. I like oddness.

Bill Bryson 31/1/2002, 15:42
Email Not Given
For all gramatical queries please consult "Troublesome Words" which is a book I wrote some years ago.

Mr Picky 31/1/2002, 15:31
Email Not Given
And budding writers shouldn't start sentences with 'and'..oh bugger.

Simon H 31/1/2002, 14:58
Email Not Given
Dave - perhaps you could throw in a few other wild card birthdays such as Mr Sputum and Mr Viagracok. And Josie - you married him.... ! And Sion - oddness is a sign of great intelligence.

John 31/1/2002, 12:31
Email Not Given
Why don't we ask his uncle, Old Grey Whistle?

Sion 31/1/2002, 12:11
Email Not Given
I seem to remember that it's 'Smear' a fine old Gaelic name meaning 'discomfort' or 'stirrup'

dave 31/1/2002, 11:48
Email Not Given
Oh, er yes Happy Birthday Mr Test (erm, it's not a programming mistake). Can anyone remember what 'Testy's' or 'Testes' first name was?

Josie 31/1/2002, 11:33
Email Not Given
Sion - you're very odd!

Sion 31/1/2002, 11:34
Email Not Given
I remember Mr Test (or Testy as we used to call him) back when he was a quiz. I believe there is a photo going around showing him as a newly formed question. Aaaah, bless.

Ken 31/1/2002, 10:55
Email Not Given
I would also like to wish Mr Test a very Happy Birthday and may he live long and prosper.

Simon H 31/1/2002, 10:1
Email Not Given
And happy birthday Mr Test. I hope you have a great day - you may wish to join us tomorrow for a celebration.

Simon H 31/1/2002, 9:59
Email Not Given
By the way, can Ken and Steve please reveal their secret messages - no secrets on this page boys !

Simon H 31/1/2002, 9:56
Email Not Given
Today be my last day in work for a while (I hope). Don't forget - anyone who wishes to celebrate any form of early mid-life crisis - a group of us are meeting up at Butlers Wharf at noon tomorrow (Friday 1st) for beers and pizzas and then on for a drunken ramble around the Tate Modern and other such landmarks and pubs. Resignations, redundancies, voluntary redundancies, new mothers and fathers, expectant mothers and fathers, unhappy in their careers, happy in their careers, come one, come all, come everyone for a day out. And if you can't get the day off just play hooky.

Sion 30/1/2002, 17:38
Email Not Given
Brucey, send in a piccy of little Maclean Jr.

Ken 30/1/2002, 15:48
Email Not Given
The latter.

Steve Phipps 30/1/2002, 14:46
Email Not Given
...and it's relationship to this page? Or have you just guessed the person behind the persona?

Ken 30/1/2002, 13:2
Email Not Given
Steve Phipps... further to our conversation in The Horn, I have now seen the light!

Sion 30/1/2002, 10:9
Email Not Given
Hello Everyone, I've been off work with a poorly throat, but I'm back at work now. How I've missed you all. Who was that who sent us their thesis on Oakland? I've read shorter novels, and more interesting ones too. Oh yes, congrats to the fecund Wiggins duet on becoming a trio.

Literal being 30/1/2002, 8:58
Email Not Given
...an arran jumper...my honed pectorals...an exhausted whore...the remains of last night's dinner...

Lesley 29/1/2002, 21:35
Email Not Given
2/1 odds on Wyatt and White!! Do I get a say in this? Congratulations Nick and Sarah. And don't forget, I'll always be available to babysit on all those many occasions I make it north of Milton Keynes.

confused person 29/1/2002, 19:43
Email Not Given
Can someone delete that boring and inappropriate speech down below. How bizarre.

Simon H 29/1/2002, 17:19
Email Not Given
Many congratulations on the latest arrival guys !!!!

Scully 29/1/2002, 13:55
Email Not Given
Buying a sensible estate car is going to pay off now!

dave 29/1/2002, 13:19
Email Not Given
Big up the Wigs. That's an acceptable excuse for missing Edinburgh. Congrats Nick and Sarah.

Scully 29/1/2002, 11:31
Email Not Given
Biggest congratuations to the Wiggins. From what I have heard, you thought pets could make a mess - you ain't seen nothin' yet! Can I assume that you will be buying Byker Grove wall paper to decorate the nursary? Mr B, me thinks you have been reading too many web sites offering yourself up for cash! As for the odds on myself and Claire, I fear Honey that you will not make much on that one. Claire and I frequently visit our niece and nephew (3 and 1.5 years old) and that does as a very good natural contraceptive!

Chris E 29/1/2002, 10:53
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Nick Did a small package arrive at your humble abode yesterday. Let me know cos if not I've got to shout at some delivery men!

Psi 29/1/2002, 10:47
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Nick, you only get the cash if I am verified pregnant and that may be beyond even you.

Nick W 29/1/2002, 10:48
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Yes....And I should warn you, there is power in these loins.

Psi 29/1/2002, 10:25
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Ouch, Honest Guv, I didn't realise I had been written off so completely. Alright I'll have a 2 grand on myself to be a father before I'm 40. Now, will anyone sleep with me for £100,000?

Ken 29/1/2002, 9:42
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A mighty fine speech Jerry, I feel that you could have included and congratulated even more monumental events like the imminent arrival of the Smith's (Robbie or Kylie) sprog or the birth of Bruce & Jane's bambino...congrats to you. Finally I would like to wish Nick & Sarah all the very best, we are very exited for you both, as Sarah has said previously we shan't be following in your footsteps just yet. I also very much doubt that the baby agenda rates very highly with John Wyatt, but stranger things have happened.

Nick W 29/1/2002, 9:39
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Err.... Did I miss something?

Jerry Brown 28/1/2002, 17:22
jb@jerrybrown.org
It's time on this special day to celebrate Oakland and to rededicate ourselves to realizing the incredible possibilities of this unusual city. Integrated, international, artistic, both rich and poor at the same time, a place of creativity and hope ... There is Oakland: a microcosm of the unfinished American agenda. As this century and millennium draw to a close, it is well to reflect on the transitory quality of things human. What rises, falls; what begins, ends and what ends, begins again in some new form. This is true of cities as well as nations. Nothing is standing still -- not the march of technology, not the assault on the environment and not the intrusion of the global economy into our lives. Oaklanders, the accelerating pace of events is testing us. It's time to act decisively. In truth, you have already started. Last year, in numbers far greater than usual, you participated in the election for mayor and then a few months later overwhelmingly approved significant changes in the governing charter of the City. You vested me with executive authority and ultimate responsibility for the conduct of city business. In a very important way, you asserted hope and expressed a collective belief that real change is possible. I share that belief and pledge to you that the city government will operate skillfully, with honesty and impartiality. To the best of my ability, and working with each member of the City Council, I will endeavor to make your city administration a government of the people. Our city manager has set the tone and I will back him up in his commitment to make excellence and fairness our guiding standards. Past mistakes make it imperative that we spend public money and obligate the public purse with the greatest of care. The measure must always be: what is best for the city as a whole, not who has the best lobbyist or who brings the most people to City Council. Today marks the beginning of our new journey together -- one that must be undertaken with courage and the willingness to speak truth to each other. It is no secret that we are frustrated -- even angry -- at the gap between Oakland's inherent capacity and the stark reality of above-average crime, below-average schools and a downtown struggling still to recapture its glory. It doesn't disparage the achievements that have been made to speak with candor about what's to be done. This is no time to live in denial. Let us rather summon the power of truth so that we can with fortitude sweep away the heavy obstacles that block our path. For this task, soothing words are the enemy of change. At the outset, we should acknowledge that Oakland is no island. The ills that counteract our amazing location are the same ones that plague other cities in Urban America: closed factories which destroy blue-collar jobs, depressed wages for the unskilled and federal subsidies which lure people to safer and cheaper suburban land. All over America, once proud and lively cities witnessed the hollowing out of their urban centers as millions joined the great exodus outward. Oakland did not escape these national trends. In fact, our city mirrors the trajectory of the country itself -- both its successes and its failures and -yes- its unspent potential. Since these outside forces so deeply affect Oakland and shape its destiny, we will seek in Washington for what is our due and claim at the state capitol all that is ours. In the circles of national and state power, the voices of Oaklanders will be heard. Yet, a city such as ours must avoid the temptation to adopt a supplicant's role. As a community of extraordinary talent, we need not wait upon the machinations of state and federal politics, nor look elsewhere for what we can do ourselves. We have the strength and character to affect those aspects of city life that are within our grasp: what our children learn, the peace and security of neighborhoods, the vibrancy of downtown and the creativity and craft which we can share with each other. Given the riches of this city, there should be no excuses. During the last fourteen months, I have had the privilege of meeting you in your home and listening to the concerns of every neighborhood. More precise and more direct than any public opinion poll, I encountered people speaking their truth about what they like and don't like about their city. It was out of this experience that I made my four-fold pledge: 1) to reduce crime, 2) to bring 10,000 people to downtown to live, 3) to assist parents and teachers to establish public Charter Schools of their choice and 4) to encourage celebration, festival and artistic performance. My goal is to build on the inherent strengths of our city and do everything possible to foster a climate of neighborliness, friendship and civility. The underside of economic growth and technological change has been to make American cities more anonymous and more fearful. Window bars and metal gates in front of doors - a practice no more than a few decades old -- do not betray a convivial spirit. On thousands of homes right here in Oakland, such a practice gives clear evidence of fear -- fear of break-ins and dangerous intruders. Razor-wire fences used to guard hundreds of businesses send the same message. For many, these fears are understandable, yet they are no less unacceptable. It can never be right to tolerate an atmosphere where crime and the fear of crime undermine the rights of citizens. All persons in our community should be able to feel secure in their homes or on the public streets and at any hour of the day. Throughout America and in Oakland as well, reported crime rates have declined. But before resting on any laurels, be aware that crime is still a serious problem in Oakland. For example, last year Oakland logged 81 homicides, the first time in a quarter century that fewer than 100 killings were reported. Yet, San Francisco, with double our population, reported 63 and San Jose, with even more residents, reported only 30 homicides. In terms of other crimes of violence, Oakland has double the rate of New York City. Much more has to be done. In addition to filling the vacancies on the police force and recruiting for it as many Oaklanders as possible who will live as well as work in our city, four steps need to be taken: 1. Each of the 57 neighborhood crime prevention councils must be fully supported by the city. In addition to dedicated police personnel, it is absolutely crucial that neighbors come together and collaborate -- and not just about crime statistics. I see these councils as a form of democratic power -- the power from below -- and as an occasion for neighbors to share ideas and thereby give real meaning to the word ""neighborhood.'' I also see in these councils an opportunity to build closer ties between the community and the police based on mutual respect. 2. Information technology must be used so that the resources of the police and the community can be deployed intelligently and without delay. Instead of learning weeks after the fact that new patterns of crime are developing, Oakland must be in the position to respond in real time. 3. Big problems often have small beginnings. That is why it is so important to demand respect for all the laws. Whether you call it the ""Broken Window'' theory or a fight against ""crime and grime,'' Oakland must demand the highest standards. 4. I will support every lawful action and utilize the criminal justice system to the maximum to rid our neighborhoods of criminals. Hear this message: crime and disrespect for the rights of others will not be tolerated. Period. Tied closely to the incidence of crime are depressed economies and persistent unemployment. Lack of investment easily fosters desperation and despair that lead to crime and anti-social behavior. In turn, crime deters investment and thereby sets in motion a vicious cycle of more crime and fewer investments. I see as an immediate opportunity for Oakland, the restoration of downtown as a place to live as well as work. Significant private residential investment would not only create jobs but foster the vitality and human density that once was the hallmark of Oakland's historic center. I envision at least 10,000 new residents living between the 980 Freeway and Lake Merritt, and a City Center and downtown streets alive in the evenings and on weekends. Throughout the nation, in many older cities, empty warehouses and commercial buildings have been converted to living spaces. What was once abandoned became thereby reinhabited. Sustainability is concept that I should mention here. Whatever its ultimate meaning in the fossil fuel dependent age, it is clear that continuing sprawl. paved over agricultural land and time-consuming commutes are less sustainable than living close to work. That factor alone will ultimately drive downtown Oakland