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CHAT ARCHIVE: Jan - Mar 2002
Literal being 29/3/2002, 17:27
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Alphabetti Spaghetti
Liz 28/3/2002, 14:13
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Before I do go - if anyone would like to join the MK gang on
Saturday night to celebrate me leaving work and my last visit to a
pub for a few years then please come and join us. Give us a call
at home for details.
Liz 28/3/2002, 13:44
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I reckon I can go now - I've just had my leaving presentation -
how embarrassing - but lots of lovely pressies and flowers.
Ken 28/3/2002, 13:37
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Go for it Liz!
Liz 28/3/2002, 11:43
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My boss has just said goodbye to me as she thought it was my last
day today - so I might just get away with it.
Sion 28/3/2002, 11:8
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Hi Liz, luv ya lots
Sion 28/3/2002, 11:7
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Before everyone goes out in sympathy for Liz, Avon do get the
Tuesday off in compensation and la Smith does have the next few
seasons off regardless, AND is having a party thrown for her by
the Present Mrs Hughes on Saturday. I'd gladly work Friday for
that package. Okay she has to squeeze out Elmo 'Watermelon' Smith
in a couple of weeks but still!
Ken 28/3/2002, 9:29
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I'd like to wish all Madhatters everwhere a happy easter. Liz - I
hope that you have a lovely day at work tomorrow-I think it is
unfair, can't you pull a sicky? I also wanted to find out who
called Castle Rodrigues in the early hours of last Sunday morning
00:12 according to the answerphone...just wanted to say sorry we
missed you!
Badger 27/3/2002, 14:31
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Ann Dee, I have no idea what I'll be doing really. Going to
America for the last two weeks in April. Beyond that is anyones
guess.
Ann Dee 27/3/2002, 12:31
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Congratulations Badger, will we be seeing you move to St Albans
too?
Badger 27/3/2002, 11:25
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Last day at work today. La-de-da and a big wha-hey........
Sion 27/3/2002, 10:8
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I liked the Drogo photo, it had Santa in it.
Ann Dee 26/3/2002, 14:19
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Indeed
Nick 26/3/2002, 14:6
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They think it's all over. It is now.
dave 26/3/2002, 11:5
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
No Andy, I know when Matt's birthday is. That Paris thing was all
a dream. We should never doubt computers. By the way have you
bought your TV yet? Anyway, off to work now.
Ann Dee 26/3/2002, 10:52
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Happy Birthday Mat. I thought we celebrated it in Paris on 17th
Febrary, clearly I was wrong. Dave was there too, I'm surprised it
didn't occur to him that it was all a big lie.
Dave Wid 25/3/2002, 21:43
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Sorry Brian, only joking, of course. You're welcome anytime you
want, so long as you don't try and touch my bottom again.
Dave Wid 25/3/2002, 21:40
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Well, I've just finished a one week run of Little Shop of Horrors.
It was very good, but now I can have a rest and perhaps a life.
Speakingh of which, I've bought a house, and am going to live by
myself for the first time in 11 years. What a novel Idea. Anyway,
I should be moving in a week on Tuesday, so all are welcome to
sunny Stone for a visit, except, of course Brian nee Benson.
Badger 25/3/2002, 11:7
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I'd just like to commend Mr. David Patrick on the veritable feast
of ear damaging karaoke which he lovingly served up on Saturday.
God bless you Sir for bringing the gift of music to the good
people of St. Albans.
God 25/3/2002, 9:30
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You can't get better than mine
The Queen 25/3/2002, 9:29
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Mine's better than yours Ann Dee
Lesley 22/3/2002, 18:26
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Yes, my work will be great for the next 2 weeks... I'm one of
those skiving teachers who's on holiday! Yay!
Ann Dee 22/3/2002, 14:7
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Well, I've now started a new job, and it's great. Does anyone else
think their work is great?
Nick 22/3/2002, 9:21
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Send it off to Angus Deyton, so on Christmas Day we can all
chortle at how we used to know John Mears before he was famous -
when he had hair, flaired trousers and some old University band or
another.
Scully 21/3/2002, 21:8
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I am working on a video for Will Hoy at the moment (ex British
Touring Car Champion). I have been given a whole load of source
material to work from of touring cars, rallying and F1. While
watching to pick the bits I want to use I noticed a face I
recognised in the F1 section, and yes it was none other than our
very own John Mears!!! If anyone wants a copy say and I will
e-mail it across (it is about 1.5Mb). It isn't hugely exciting,
but it could be taken as a time share in his 15 mins of fame
Badger 21/3/2002, 10:27
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Happy New Year David. I also believe that the world would be a
better place if we all observed New Year's festivities every day
of the year. Oh, and let's not forget Christmas. Some people say
that Christmas comes but once a year. That just seems a little
naive though. Let's make every day a joint Chrtistmas and New
Year's day. In fact, I'll start a petition to the government right
now.
Chris 21/3/2002, 10:4
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If you can call running your own business a job then I still have
one. Might sack myself though because I keep on turning up late.
Sarah 20/3/2002, 22:35
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That's because, like me they work for the government; crap pay but
job security(?). Any way Nick,don't feel left out your life is
about to change in 20 weeks time!
dave 20/3/2002, 17:58
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Happy New Year everyone. I want to sing it from the rooftops. Yes
Nick, I believe you and Psi are the only people left in Madhatters
who haven't had a career shattering change in the last few months.
We fear change.
Psi 20/3/2002, 17:23
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BTW Dave, it might be time to retire the 'Happy New 2002' line
above since we're 1/4 through the year now! (...when you get a
chance... I don't mean to pester..., it's not that important...,
in fact never mind..., I'll get me coat)
Psi 20/3/2002, 17:15
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I bloody wish I didn't have a job - I feel like I'm doing three at
the moment and I haven't had a significant raise since 1997.
Still, my old car is now fixed up and I will be picking it up in a
week's time so I am happy.
Nick 20/3/2002, 16:10
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Can I just check - am I the only Madhatter left with a job? It
seems redundancy / maternity leave / sacking / sabbaticals / early
retirements are the way forward. I feel rather left out Maybe I
should hand my notice in and move again. That seems to work.
Gary 20/3/2002, 14:48
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During the last two days I have fixed (with a greate deal of help
from the parentage) every single plumbing related problem in my
flat except the ones I haven't found yet. You will be pleased to
know that I can now switch the hot AND the cold water off which
makes it exceedingly unlikely I will now flood the place. The loo
also now refills in less that half an hour - so definite progress.
Just thought I'd share that with you.
Gary 20/3/2002, 14:44
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That's progress for you. No idea why it's called for the font by
the way although I'm sure I was told once.
kevin 19/3/2002, 22:49
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It was renamed the HUB for one year. Loads of people didnt like
it, so a referendum was held and they changed it back. Thats
democracy for you.
Gary 19/3/2002, 18:4
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I thought The Font was now called The Hub.
Liz 19/3/2002, 17:1
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After 18 months of campaigning my 'Boss' has been made redundant
today. So I'm very happy. Typical that I only have 8 days left at
work before I leave so wont really feel the full benefit. But
hurrah anyway.
Ann Dee 19/3/2002, 16:43
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Well, today I join the ranks of the unemployed following my
redundancy. And very pleased about it I am too. For I have a
meeting tomorrow which should see me in a new job on more money
and a better environment than now. So I'm dead pleased about
everything, mostly about the size of my cheque though which is
nearly double what I was expecting. Ain't life grand? Has anybody
else had anything happen which is twice as good as they'd
expected?
Badger 19/3/2002, 16:41
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Liz, is that the American definition of a compact: Four doors,
twin airbags and about 22mpg?
Liz 19/3/2002, 14:3
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Nick - apparently I'm compact. First time I've ever been called
that - funny that I've had to put on 2 stone to be given that
title!
Badger 19/3/2002, 12:30
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Hello everyone. Only another six and a half working days to go
before I join the ranks of the unemployed. How exciting. It's like
a dream come true and I'd just like to thank everyone who has made
this possible; the company, the stock market, the people who don't
buy our products. I even took the day off yesterday as a practise
run and, quite astoundingly, I seem to prefer having my freedom to
being sat in a dull grey concrete box for eight hours a day.
Marvelous, simply marvelous.
Dinosaur 19/3/2002, 8:17
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and before anyone points out the obvious lexicographical error,
yes I know it should be "Knowledge" rather than
"Learning", but if students were knowledgeable, what the
hell would they be doing at Hatfield???
Dinosaur 19/3/2002, 8:8
Dino@age-before-beauty.com
...maybe it's because students and lecturers spent more time in
there drinking than they did attending lectures (in the days
before the Elehouse became the main place to while away your
lecture hours). i.e. 'font of all learning', etc.
kevin 18/3/2002, 21:25
kevin@taverner.co.uk
Someone on the uhsu message board has asked "how did the font
get its name?" Does anyone here have any idea?
Nick 18/3/2002, 17:39
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Liz - My wife seems to have a bump the size of three bedroom semi.
Is this normal?
Liz 18/3/2002, 14:40
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I had a great weekend - I got a really kind invitation from
Northants Police to attend Speed School - whoops!
Ken 18/3/2002, 12:12
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I realised that I've missed couple of very integral words in my
last posting that renders it useless. I meant to say that I am
organising a sweepstake on the various outcomes of Elmo Smith and
if I can get my act together I will put a posting on the
website...Doh
Ken 18/3/2002, 12:9
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Not bad thanks Dave, managed to do a bit of plumbing and saw a
very happy Liz Smith on Saturday, whose bump is getting bigger
& bigger. By the way if I can get my act together I would like
to put a the website where everyone can place a bet on the various
outcomes of little Elmo Smith.
dave 18/3/2002, 9:52
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Yeah I'll come, but I might be a bit late. Good weekend everyone?
Social Incompetant 15/3/2002, 17:32
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Would anyone like to meet up for a drink in Old Street at 18:00
hrs on Tuesday next? I won't be there, but it would be nice to see
everyone. Let me know if you can make it.
Ken 15/3/2002, 16:20
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Social Diary, might that be you John!
The Heavies 15/3/2002, 16:16
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Good. She owes me money. I'll send the boys 'round.
Social Diary 15/3/2002, 14:51
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Miss Lesley White will be singing in a performance of Mendelsohn's
Elijah at 7.30pm on Saturday (tomorrow) in Southampton Guildhall.
Tickets on the door from £7.
Observation 15/3/2002, 14:13
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Recession=Lack of Chat on website?
Stooge 15/3/2002, 11:18
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But I don't know your wife?
Comic 15/3/2002, 11:18
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No, Jamaica.
Stooge 15/3/2002, 11:17
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Jakarta?
Comic 15/3/2002, 11:17
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My wife went to the West Indies
Man 14/3/2002, 19:31
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No. Your fat makes you look fat. The clothes simply fail to hide
it.
Woman 14/3/2002, 19:30
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Does this make me look fat?
Dinosaur 14/3/2002, 16:57
Dino@age-before-beauty.com
It's interesting to see that I've been to Egypt for a week and
coming back I find very little of any consequence added to the
caht (sic). Where have all the imaginative minds gone...and is it
the same place as the broken hearts? By the way, Egypt was very
hot and I burnt my front paw. Thanks for asking.
Liz 13/3/2002, 9:50
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For some light relief have a play on this site - very cute:
http://www.kidstime.com/index.asp?layid=35&csid=266
Dave Wid 12/3/2002, 17:59
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But the whole point is, he doesn't. He was wrong and he doesn't
apologise to the young Mr Swayze. No redemption and a sour taste
in the audiences mouth. Or is that more because they've been
forced to stomach such a torrent of trite bile for 108mins?
Dirty Dancing 12/3/2002, 17:56
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"When A'm wrong, A say A'm wrong'"
Nicole Kidman 12/3/2002, 14:6
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To all your gorgeous single boys out there, as you know the Oscars
ceremony is only a couple of weeks away and I haven't got a date
so please call me on 555-DATE-PLS or e-mail on Nic.Kid@aol.com
with a photo. TA
Badger 11/3/2002, 14:32
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On a lighter note, my application for voluntary redundancy has
been accepted and I leave my god awful job on 5th April - which is
nice.
Badger 11/3/2002, 14:27
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Was Four Weddings and a Funeral really a 1994 film? Cripes! Soon
that'll be like ten years ago. Before you know it, that'll be
twenty years ago, then thirty years, etc. Then, before you know it
we'll all be dead and none of us will care how long ago the film
came out. Ah yes, it's another Monady here in my head.
Kath 11/3/2002, 12:29
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I also stayed up to watch four Weddings and sadly thought Hugh was
cute! On the other side was Dirty Dancing a fab 80's girlie film -
people used to say I looked like the girl in it with a bad permed
bob. Oh dear. Only 5 days till my hols hurrah!
dave 11/3/2002, 11:11
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Now that I'm working from home it's harder for me to justify the
amount of time I used to spend at the Madhatters site. However
thank you Sion for your bad day - can't beat that ... can anyone
else? Did anyone see 4 Weddings last night? Still a great film,
but Andie Macdowell gets worse the more you see it. Ah, well 1994
- what a year. Now to archive the chat page.
Ken 10/3/2002, 23:38
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It's a load of arty tosh, which begins with death coming out of
the ground and finding someone to have a dance with...are you with
me so far...death and the unlikely woman decide to have a duet
with one another...death enjoys this and decides to go further
into her sub-conscience until the woman...wait for it...death then
comes to the end of the duet and she dies...all I can say is that
I had nothing to do with the writing of the story...I'm just
involved in the production of it...I hope this explanantion what
satisfactory Dave W!
Dave Wid 10/3/2002, 22:16
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Recorded Room 101 last week, with Johnny Vegas. Finally got round
to watching it tonight, very funny indeed. Though I must admit, I
was over cautious with my video programming and added a full 15
mins on the end. Well I'm glad I did. 10 mins of an old bird with
her skirt nailed to the floor. Then in a box. What was that all
about? I'm sure you can help me out Ken. Well, can you? Cos I cant
sleep now. In fact I don't think I'll ever sleep again.
Nick W 9/3/2002, 14:19
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Liz, although Simon may demand an explanation - how about the
Boney M classic Brown Girl in the Ring? How is your milkman by the
way?
Sion 8/3/2002, 17:52
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Incidentally, if you thought you had a bad week at work read this.
I was at watford crematorium yesterday to monitor the emissions
from the chimneys (not as bad as it sounds honestly, nice grounds,
pleasant staff). But this day there was to be a cremation of a 40,
yes 40 stone (1/4 ton) dead woman (29 Years old!). The wardrobe
sized coffin was impressive enough but the day took a grim turn
into the surreal when the trolley she was loaded onto collapsed
under the weight. The coffin fell on to the floor and semi-burst
open in front of me releasing a rather unpleasant amount of ooze
and a stench strong enough to raise the dead (well, thankfully not
strong enough). Several hours and a dozen strong blokes later we
(yes I chipped in to assist, muggins that I am) finally got her on
her way to that sweet shop in the sky. How bad was your day?
Sion 8/3/2002, 17:42
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Have a nice weekend everyone. I've got a headache.
Liz 8/3/2002, 13:8
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Excellent - I particularly like the guess the size of the Mother
to be's waist game. It could almost make you want to move out to
the States - all these things that we're missing out on.
Sion 8/3/2002, 12:41
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Liz - Try looking at this it will either depress the hell out of
you or cheer you up depending on your level of cynicism.
www.dfcreations.com/BabyShower.html Guess which category I fell
into?
Liz 8/3/2002, 11:5
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I'm beginning to regret this....
sion 8/3/2002, 11:4
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please do
Ken 8/3/2002, 10:40
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Liz's worst nightmare "Stuck in the Middle" by Steelers
Wheel. That unreleased track by Cat Stevens " My water has
broken...like the first morning etc etc ... I should get back to
work.
Ken 8/3/2002, 10:13
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Sion, what about Stand & Deliver by Adam & the Ants
Liz 8/3/2002, 10:2
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Sorry - I just read that completely wrong and thought you were
insulting Brian - only I didn't really understand the insult. Oh
dear.
Sion 8/3/2002, 10:13
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Thanks for reminding me, Brain like a thingy, you know, mesh
thing...whotsit.
Liz 8/3/2002, 9:20
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For some light relief on a Friday can anyone help out Sion - he
has very kindly offered to make me a compilation tape for the
birth and is in need of some inspiration - so far we have Push It
by Salt 'n' Pepa and Here Comes The Son - any ideas?
Ken 7/3/2002, 15:43
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John a very interesting & amusing website, I'd put the author
of timecube up there with Nostradamus. A complete wacko who
clearly requires some form of therapy to cure him from his
delusions of grandeur.
John 7/3/2002, 15:5
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I've been rumbled. The truth is finally revealed at
www.timecube.com.
Ken 6/3/2002, 13:27
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Psi- you took the words right out of my mouth. The acting and the
tech were V impressive.
Psi 6/3/2002, 13:4
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If anyone is dithering over seeing Gary's show - stop it and go.
It was excellent, particularly technically.
Psi 6/3/2002, 13:3
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If anyone is dithering over seeing Gary's show - stop it and go.
It was excellent, particularly technically.
B&H 6/3/2002, 12:3
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DW = Shirtlifter
Gary 6/3/2002, 10:57
gary@garystevenson.co.uk
Just a reminder that time is running out if you want to see One
flew Over the Cuckoos Nest at the Hampton Hill Playhouse. Every
night now until Saturday 9th March. Starts 7.45pm. Tickets £8.
Please email me if you're interested.
Dave Wid 5/3/2002, 23:52
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Pufta
Benson & Hedges 5/3/2002, 11:0
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Who are you calling a fag? and what's all this caht bollocks, it's
an old stale joke, lets just leave it there.
Unknown Person 5/3/2002, 1:20
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How do you "caht>?" ?
booty16 5/3/2002, 0:15
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anyone want to caht>?
Dave Wid 4/3/2002, 19:16
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Thats a good point Dave. What is it?
Dave Wid 4/3/2002, 19:15
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I apologise for causing such offence, though I feel that if you
spend a little time browsing the site you may find that words like
'irony' spring to mind. I don't for one moment think that Brian
will feel insulted and actually believe that I mean to cause
offence by calling him a fruit. So, chill out my friend and enjoy
this forum for what it is.
Sion 4/3/2002, 17:13
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Oh David, look what you've started. Sigh.
The exposer 4/3/2002, 16:47
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Ha! I know that's not really Julian Clary - it it was, he would
have included a wearisome joke about anal sex. And how we all
would have tittered.
Julian Clary 4/3/2002, 16:16
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Actually I thought it was very funny. And anyway, Brian is a fag.
PC World 4/3/2002, 14:59
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I'd like to give Marlboro Light a good telling off at this point,
but I want at least one real gay person to back me up on this. Gay
people out there: Was your goat got by Dave Wid's use of 'fag' as
an insult? Or am I being oversensitive on your behalf?
Sion 4/3/2002, 13:31
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Yeah, you don't hear those of us who smell of poo whinging do you!
Marlboro Light 4/3/2002, 13:16
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I'm proud to be a fag, from my tobacco leaf feet to my brown
filtered head. At least I'm not gay, that could cause me to be
oversensitive to trivial humour.
PC World 4/3/2002, 11:54
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I hate to piss on Dave's comedy bonfire, but given that some of us
actually ARE fags, isn't it in slightly poor taste to say that
being one is an insult?
Sion 4/3/2002, 10:11
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I've asked you not to bring that up.
Dave Wid 3/3/2002, 17:54
davewild@clara.co.uk
2 Weeks till our show, so not been about much lately. We're doing
(wait for it) Little Shop of Horrors. I don't know if any of you
have ever heard of it before but its really quite good. Anyway, we
start on March 19 till 23rd, so if any of you fancy a jaunt to
sunny Stone in the midlands, drop me a line. Oh, I nearly forgot
my customory insult. Brian's a fag & Sion smells of poo.
Ken 3/3/2002, 12:55
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Please set your video recorders for Dance for the Camera on Sunday
night on BBC2 for half past midnight. It's the job I worked on
last year. If anyone needs an explanation about what it all means
just let me know.
Nick W 2/3/2002, 16:28
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I'm in a posh hotel in the Cotsworlds, and it's fab.
Sarah 1/3/2002, 18:45
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7 months to my birthday!
Liz 1/3/2002, 15:20
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Oh Please!
Ken 1/3/2002, 14:20
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More importantly 3 months to go for the world cup.
Santa 1/3/2002, 13:8
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Just over 41 weeks until Chritmas
Kath 1/3/2002, 12:31
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2 weeks till I go to NZ wahey! (not permanently - yet) Hope
everyone has a great weekend
Liz 1/3/2002, 11:14
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Four weeks left at work - hurrah hurrah hurrah.
dave 28/2/2002, 23:25
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Good evening. I, er haven't got anything to say but my lack of
chat on these pages of late is not a symptom of my non-interest.
I've been watching Alan Partridge on UK Play, oh, er and the funny
yellow people.
Sion 27/2/2002, 16:42
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I hope a burial at sea is on the cards. The mourners could all cry
"He's fallen in the water!"
Spike 27/2/2002, 16:7
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You trying to tell me what i think?
Unknown Person 27/2/2002, 16:8
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"I told you I wasn't very well," was his preferred
gravestone epitaph
Spike 27/2/2002, 15:20
beyondthegrave@heaven
Told you i was Ill
Psi 27/2/2002, 13:31
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And of course, on a lighter note happy birthday to Sarah.
Psi 27/2/2002, 13:30
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They're all goon now. It is sad. I'll bet his last words were
funny though, he's had years to come up with them.
Nick W 27/2/2002, 12:26
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Goon, but not forgotten.
Sion 27/2/2002, 12:26
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I believe he liked to be known as 'Spike Milligna - The World
Famous Typing Error'
scully 27/2/2002, 11:36
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Sad news of Spike Milligan - the godfather of silly goings on
scully 27/2/2002, 11:33
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Many happy returns Sarah, with hugs from Paul & Claire, who
nearly made it to MK, but not quite.
Ken 27/2/2002, 9:29
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Happy birthday Sarah W, I hope you have fantastic day.
Unknown Person 26/2/2002, 17:13
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Simon Hopes where are you?
S Hughes 26/2/2002, 13:32
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I notice with pride that a S Hughes won a gold in the figure
skating.
Nick W 26/2/2002, 10:53
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Yeah, in the Men's Hurling.
Sion 26/2/2002, 10:44
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Dave's got an olympic gold?
Just an observation 26/2/2002, 9:55
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Did anyone watch the women's curling in the Olympics? More
importantly did they notice the the striking simarlarity between
the captain Rhona Martin and a certain David Wild?
The Stalker 25/2/2002, 22:43
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John & Nick you've gone very quiet, you know what I'm like
with bunnies don't you boys?
The Stalker 25/2/2002, 16:14
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John, how could you? It's only a matter of time before I find out
where you live and the same goes for you Nick W.
Nick W 25/2/2002, 15:17
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So if The Stalker isn't you, who the hell is it?
John 25/2/2002, 15:15
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Just in case people think there is some kind of 'in joke' with me
and Nick here, I would like to say that I don't know what he is
talking about either.
Nick W 25/2/2002, 15:4
Email
Not Given
I was up for it, but sadly John went for the vegetarian option.
The Stalker 25/2/2002, 14:46
Email
Not Given
John & Nick W have you told your respective partners about me
yet? P.S. Any more thoughts about doing the "spit
roast"?
Nick W 25/2/2002, 10:9
Email
Not Given
I went to a wedding on Saturday, and spookily enough Speakeasy
weren't playing. Initially I though I was just in the wrong
building, but no - and I was amazed to learn that there is other
music based marriage entertainment available. They were crap of
course, and in my heart of hearts I kind of missed Dave and the
boys. But don't tell them that. It will only go to there head.
Le Burge 22/2/2002, 9:27
Email
Not Given
Yes - everyone have a lovely weekend. It's 90 degs here today by
the way. I feel deprived for not having seen Kylie's dress (or
Kylie's anything else, for that matter)
dave 22/2/2002, 16:21
Email
Not Given
Hello, Ken did we not have a curry date this Saturday? Are you
going to Jolyon's do, if it is indeed a do? Lot's of hilarity has
been ensuing, lovely. I suppose I should get off my sorry behind
and archive the chat page again. Have a nice weekend everyone.
Scooby-doo 22/2/2002, 16:23
Email
Not Given
I rather rike raggy, rankyou rery ruch.
Ken 22/2/2002, 14:40
Email
Not Given
Nick, It's sunny in London at the moment. Just putting my NME
& Q hat on, I thought that the Strokes were good though rather
drunk and Sting was not that bad. I like Dido's songs, however I
can't help but feel that she sings rather flat. Shaggy is a
complete muppet who could not think or write anything original
even if it hit him in the face. I shall know dismount from my high
horse
Nick W 22/2/2002, 13:25
Email
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I have just looked out the window, and we seem to have a snow
blizzard. I think it's time to go home.
Sion 22/2/2002, 12:28
Email
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As one of the oldest madhatters I'd like to confirm the 'they
don't make music like they used to' truism. 21 seconds to go? We
should be so lucky. Kylie - starting to look a little old and
plastic, I feel. Danni any day. Quite like Gorillaz though.
Policemen are looking young nowadays too.
Nick W 22/2/2002, 12:6
Email
Not Given
What about that god awful drivel from the Gorrilaz. Bunch of old
hairy monkey arse if you ask me
Badger 22/2/2002, 9:38
Email
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Ken, you're a married man now and not supposed to comment on Kylie
Minogue's arse. By the way, thank you again for having me (so to
speak).
Ken 22/2/2002, 9:30
Email
Not Given
Brit Awards: I just don't get rap music, OK so I might be getting
long in the tooth and my hearing is going on the blink, but I
could not understand the "So Solid Crew"...Kylie wore an
interesting dress though...
jolyon 21/2/2002, 16:52
Email
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Gary your dry sense of humour to the resque again!
Gary 21/2/2002, 16:16
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Dave, the members page has gone a bit screwy.
Badger 21/2/2002, 11:5
Email
Not Given
Congratulations on your first posting my dear. The world of mobile
telecomms is as dull as last night's dishwater I'm afraid.
Applications for voluntary redundancy close tomorrow and then
we'll find out who is allowed to go early in March. Ebay is indeed
a fine thing. It's like the car boot sale of the world. Everything
you could possibly want, from really useful items to complete and
utter cr@p. Long may it reign.
Sam 21/2/2002, 10:45
Email
Not Given
Helllooooooo Badger, how are you this fine and grey morning?? I
have been drinking tea and hunting around on ebay which is really
good fun thank you for the intro to it. I had a loverly nite tooo
but everything smells of curry today!!! How is the owrld of mobile
communications today?? xxxx
Badger 21/2/2002, 10:16
Email
Not Given
Hello Sam. I hope you're feeling better today. I had a lovely time
last night, so do say a big 'thank you' to Milsy for me and please
do write something on this website.
Sion a.k.a. Mungo Grubb 20/2/2002, 16:2
Email
Not Given
Try this http://www.chriswetherell.com/hobbit/default.asp
the jumbler 20/2/2002, 15:20
Email
Not Given
Do you do this pair often?
Jolyon 20/2/2002, 14:56
Email
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do you pair do this often?
Sion 20/2/2002, 14:58
Email
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Much as I'd love to take the credit for that one Sion, I actually
accompanied Oly to see LOTR. I knew you didn't want me there
anyway.
Liz 20/2/2002, 14:43
Email
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Thanks - I think.
Sion 20/2/2002, 14:7
Email
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It was because you'd fallen over.
Liz 20/2/2002, 13:39
Email
Not Given
Sion - you stood me up last night - I'm very upset. Please
explain.
Sion 20/2/2002, 13:21
Email
Not Given
Strange that in Jesus Christ Superstar where a castle-type wall
would look good, black curtains were chosen to represent roman
occupied jerusalem.
Badger 20/2/2002, 13:0
Email
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Give 'em the old... big grey castle, made from card-board.
An ex president (possibly jolyon or simon)) 20/2/2002, 12:56
Email
Not Given
All of our sets in the good old days met with all safty requirment
of their day, and i belive the leap of faith and imaginatiojn it
took on the part of the audience only improved the experiance as
our sell out front rows showed at least one night in 3! I never
lost anyone on stage! only on trips. However i agree that musicals
are well...annoying is probably the most polite way of saying it.
So on this occasion will decline..thanks anyway(unless entry is
free? as i will soon loose my job)
Badger 20/2/2002, 12:53
Email
Not Given
Ah yes, those were the days... Dancing around the big grey castles
of downtown Chicago.
Badger 20/2/2002, 12:52
Email
Not Given
Perhaps it could even be called 'Castle-cabana'.
Badger 20/2/2002, 12:50
Email
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I'm only coming if the play is being set in a big grey cardboard
castle.
Jolyon 20/2/2002, 12:49
Email
Not Given
Yes i am alive and this weekend will be turning 30! (no panic it
seeems that after 30 you just give up your job so quite looking
forward to it) Anyhow for those interested i will be in the jazz
club in Reading for a small meal and then to boogie the night away
http://thejazzclub.co.uk/, so if anyone is interested it would be
great to see you there. If anyone does have any diffferent plans
other than just throwing in the towel after 30 then i would love
to know. watch this space for a house warming when the weather is
better
dave 20/2/2002, 12:0
Email
Not Given
Yes Badger it was, which is always nice! Kev - I'm just wondering
how to approach Copacabana, is that old big nose Manilow's
musical? No disrespect but I hate musicals, I'll come along though
just to be the old bugger in the corner complaining about the fact
'they didn't build set's like that in my day'. I hope for UHDS's
sake that they don't. Brightly coloured cardboard ra-ra skirt
anyone? Thanks for the info - any other Hatters interested in
putting in an appearance?
Badger 20/2/2002, 10:38
Email
Not Given
Hello David. Did you both have a good holiday? Also, was the house
still there when you got back?
kevin 20/2/2002, 10:19
kevin@taverner.co.uk
All Madhatters are invited to the UHDS production of the musical Copacabana,
which will be performed on the 6th,7th and 8th of March in the
Prince Edward Hall. Doors 7.30pm. More details to follow...
dave 20/2/2002, 0:37
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Hello - everyone having fun. I've been away for a bit so it's nice
to see the site in full action... although maybe I should be
asking Cow & Gate for a sponsorship deal.
Sion 19/2/2002, 15:22
Email
Not Given
Hell yes!
Liz 19/2/2002, 14:54
Email
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Sion would you like to come over to ours tonight to watch some ads
as Josie has a house full of girlies tonight?
Sion 19/2/2002, 14:8
Email
Not Given
and then there's that nissan ad with the leaping dolphins-
"intelligence attracts intelligence" my arse. Okay
dolphins are pretty smart but be honest, they're not exactly
Einsteins. Maybe it's a subtle point about nissan owners. Feel
sorry for Josie. She has to live with this.
Liz 19/2/2002, 13:27
Email
Not Given
That's cos its actually really bad for your skin and brings you
out in blisters. May I suggest a rather delightful range of
skincare and bathing products - have a quick look at
www.avon.uk.com. And before you ask - yes I am on commission.
Sion 19/2/2002, 13:27
Email
Not Given
Imperial Leather, there's another one that annoys me. I mean, it's
a skin care product, so what do they play in the background?
"burn baby, burn, disco inferno". Rant, rant, rant,
rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant
Ken 19/2/2002, 12:46
Email
Not Given
I take your point Bruce, but if Elmo (a cute name given to Liz and
Simon's baby by Mr Hughes) has been given baked beans for lunch;
need I go any further Liz!
Sion 19/2/2002, 12:39
Email
Not Given
Good girl Charlie, throw more poo at Dada. Underarm may be easier
for you at this stage but when you feel comfortable using the
overarm technique you'll find that your accuracy and speed will be
worth the effort. Jane, you may wish to try this too.
Bruce 19/2/2002, 12:17
Email
Not Given
Sion you are right Pampers are a far superior nappy but still I
wouldn't expect you to want a chicken korma though. Mind you Ken's
comment about baby poo is a bit miss leading, there are very few
problems with the poo its self, now the velocity of the poo that
is what you've got to be careful of!!
Bruce 19/2/2002, 12:2
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
Chris 19/2/2002, 11:31
Email
Not Given
I don't work from home! I just laze about the office all day
drinking coffee and charging it to expenses. Well except for the
afternoons when I laze around the pub charging it to expenses.
Nick 19/2/2002, 11:26
Email
Not Given
Er, Chris - surely lazing about the house is the whole essence of
PR? Particularly if you work for yourself. From home.
Liz 19/2/2002, 11:21
Email
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Hurrah for soft poo!
Sion 19/2/2002, 11:12
Email
Not Given
The advert thatI don't get is with the woman worrying about
constipation during her busy day ahead who doses herself on some
leaf-based remedy so that all she has to worry about now are the
screaming trots. Much better,eh? I also object to the slogan
"Do it in Huggies", puts me right off my chicken korma
that does
Mrs Agnes Beeflap (Aged 64 3/4) 19/2/2002, 9:31
Email
Not Given
Oh George, I feel so upset that you have not mentioned me on this
website. How could you say that you won this competition when you
know full well we had planned this trip for the last six months.
You said I was special and one day we would get married and have
kids. No George (I'm not going to call you Georgykins anymore)
you're not coming to Menorca you going to stay in Blighty &
watch my ever so special tape of Countdown with Richard Whiteley
(oh he's such a nice man) all week with your friend Richard
Plamer...
George 18/2/2002, 17:32
Email
Not Given
Time seems to be flying by me at the moment.. This is my first tea
break since I last wrote on here, not that I would complain of
slave laboury or nothing.. Anyway what makes me think that life is
passing me by, is it all this baby talk from my contempories (BTW
belated congrats to Nick and Sarah)? Could it be that I miss the
point of adverts these days, such as the one for the amazing
orange drink that can relieve even the most severe cases of
constipation (personally I think the poor love is up the duff but
ssshhhhh, she seems to be happy!)? Nope it's none of these, its
that I am going to sunny Menorca on Saturday. Now I know what you
are thinking, why is this giving me this strange sensation.. Well
its a SAGA holiday! Okay so I won it, but even so.. Now I'm
looking forward to the "you're gonna die soon" savings
plans filling my post box when I return....
Sion 18/2/2002, 17:41
Email
Not Given
Boy, am I going to pay for that.
Sion 18/2/2002, 17:40
Email
Not Given
On behalf of Simon (whose work is far too important to allow him
the luxury of spending all day on Madhatters.org) I would like to
add cleaning the house, washing the windows, doing the laundry and
servicing the car, all while maintaining a cheerful and loving
outlook, all in a kind of 1940's ideal home stylee.
Ken 18/2/2002, 17:9
Email
Not Given
You will be more than welcome to play on it once you've cleaned,
changed and fed the baby 3 or 4 times a day, followed by ironing
the clothes, making Simon's dinner for when he comes home...not
that I'm trying to scare you or anything...and remember you have
to deal with baby poo...is that everything Simon?!
Chris 18/2/2002, 16:53
Email
Not Given
Why Nick? Will she spot the fact that all you ever do is laze
around the house?
Nick 18/2/2002, 16:20
Email
Not Given
Liz, will you stop with this lazing about the house rubbish. You
are giving my wife all sorts of bad ideas.
Liz 18/2/2002, 14:46
Email
Not Given
Ken - I've already discussed this matter with you - please behave.
But can I borrow yours while I'm off?
Ken 18/2/2002, 14:46
Email
Not Given
Gaz, you can put me down for 2 tickets for Saturday 9th March. Liz
I think that Simon would love a Play Station 2!!
Liz 18/2/2002, 13:58
Email
Not Given
Ha Ha Ha. Actually its probably warmer outside as our heating has
packed up - we are suffering from a 'blockage' which could be
fixed today but on the other hand it could take 2 weeks -
marvellous. Anyway have you seen me trying to run lately?
Sion 18/2/2002, 14:3
Email
Not Given
Run back in again, it's too cold to be outside
Liz 18/2/2002, 13:18
Email
Not Given
Fantastic - I've just run out of work - I think maybe I've peaked
a little early as I've got another 6 weeks left!
Gary 18/2/2002, 10:25
gary@garystevenson.co.uk
Madhatters may be interested in coming down to see a production of
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest at the Hampton Hill Playhouse.
Performances are from the 2nd to the 9th March at 7.45 except
Sunday 3rd when it is 6pm. Tickets are £8 except Monday which is
£5. Further information on the website - www.ttc-hhp.org.uk. Let
me know and I'll get tickets for you.
Dinosaur 18/2/2002, 10:6
Email
Not Given
Hey Le Burge...can you pop down to Santa Clara and tell my mate
Steve H to call me as he promised? Thanks.
Le Burge 15/2/2002, 10:8
Email
Not Given
I'm here now, but what with me being eight hours behind you've all
buggered off home. And it's going to rain on Sunday. Anyway,
another reason I guess no one seems to "chat" is the
sudden spate of unfortunate redundancies of "six-month 'find
myself' type sabbaticals" Have a good Monday
Sion 15/2/2002, 17:33
Email
Not Given
Contemporize man!
Bam Bam Bigelow 15/2/2002, 16:40
Email
Not Given
Chill baby. One day all shall return and there shall be much mirth
shared and all seriousness and bad vibes will be cast assunder.
Groovey.
Badger 15/2/2002, 15:26
Email
Not Given
I'm sure this site used to be a lot better when people posted
amusing messages here. I mean, look at this, it's Friday and I'm
the only person here. Shame on you all. Oh, and I'm not helping at
all as this message isn't in the least bit amusing. Shame on me
too.
Bam Bam Bigelow 14/2/2002, 17:34
Email
Not Given
Hi guys, I'm the new pop sensation Bam Bam Bigelow. Me and my
band, The Salty Bonnets will be forming real soon and I'm sure
well give that shoddy lot the Love Spunkeys a real run for their
money. Watch this space, kids.....
Ken 14/2/2002, 14:39
Email
Not Given
What was Sion doing at a hospital?
Unknown Person 14/2/2002, 15:5
Email
Not Given
Just thought I'd tell you all how wonderful Mr Simon Smith is. Not
only can he make Liz pregnant, but he's made our PC work too, and
picked Sion up from hospital in the rain. We love you Simon.
Dinosaur 14/2/2002, 11:27
Email
Not Given
Anything with ganja in it is worth a trip.
Liz 14/2/2002, 8:34
Email
Not Given
Thanks Si - but she's not really my type.
Le Burge 13/2/2002, 15:4
Email
Not Given
Surely anything with Liza Goddard in it is worth a trip
Liz 13/2/2002, 14:50
Email
Not Given
Anyone know anything about the play doing the rounds called
'Single Spies' starring Robert Powell and Lisa Goddard - it
reaches Northampton in a couple of weeks and I'm just wondering
whether its worth a trip.
Ken 13/2/2002, 9:43
Email
Not Given
John, I am happy to be of service to you. I shall indeed be going
to Josie's birthday which will be a cracker!!
John 12/2/2002, 19:21
Email
Not Given
Josie - sorry, I actually can't make your birthday bash, and
neither can Lesley. My excuse is that I'm working, and Lesley's is
that she hasn't got anyone to drive her up there, because her
boyfriend's working. Ken, thanks for the picture addition. That's
the best picture of us I've ever seen.
Monkey Spanker 12/2/2002, 17:30
Email
Not Given
Not all of us have been invited...if I had I would have 'shuffled
my knuckles'.....mmmmm
Josie 12/2/2002, 15:25
Email
Not Given
Hello. DId you know you can get internet access in your local
library? Isn't technology amazing! See all of you that are coming
up for MY BIRTHDAY on Saturday soon, and yah boo sucks to those of
you that can't make it!
Nick 12/2/2002, 10:40
Email
Not Given
Most amsusing photo, Ken
Madame Ginger 12/2/2002, 9:32
Email
Not Given
I'd like to take this opportunity to brand all you cross-dressers
in Madhatterland phoney and I intend to make a mockery of them,
stay tuned.
Crap Joke Man 12/2/2002, 9:27
Email
Not Given
You'll never guess who I bumped into in Specsavers the other day..
... everyone!
Mike Haver 12/2/2002, 9:27
Email
Not Given
....distraction from work?... I though this was work! Good Morning
to the two of you... any anyone else who like me reads this page
but never adds anything..until now.
Ken 12/2/2002, 9:25
Email
Not Given
Good morning to you Monsieur Badger and Mr Haver, indeed where is
everyone? By the way I feel I should apologise to John and Lesley
for the photograph of them cross- dressed, not that they have done
that before.
Badger 12/2/2002, 9:15
Email
Not Given
Good morning Mr Haver. Good to see I'm not the only person looking
to the Madhatters website for some distraction from work.
Mike Haver 12/2/2002, 8:25
Email
Not Given
Hey I'm still here Badger...... although normally I keep very
quiet and bask in the light-hearted and amusing banter that goes
on all around me on this site! Sorry to hear about Josie's job -
does this mean that Sion is the breadwinner in the house - can you
take that responsiblity Sion? Looking forward to Saturday night -
does Josie want donations towards her meal? - I'll start by giving
her half of my Pilau rice!
Badger 11/2/2002, 17:25
Email
Not Given
Where the hell is everybody?Watching daytime tv I guess. Hmmm,
tv.......
Badger 11/2/2002, 11:24
Email
Not Given
We all have gifts. MIne is the ability to spread a little
darkness.
Sion 11/2/2002, 10:23
Email
Not Given
Morning Badger, you really know how to cheer us all up, ta.
Badger 11/2/2002, 9:18
Email
Not Given
Oh crap, it's Monday again. How exactly did that happen? etc, etc,
etc, whine, whine, whine......
Literal being 9/2/2002, 2:27
Email
Not Given
...beer...yeeuck!
Sarah 7/2/2002, 19:18
Email
Not Given
Your'e a model housemate.
Simon H 7/2/2002, 16:13
Email
Not Given
Currently I am abiding by all the rules of the Patrick/Payne
household. I have been digging the toilet out after I have used it
and not making too much noise after 4am.
Unknown Persona 7/2/2002, 14:52
Email
Not Given
SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF
IRONY
Jay Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to
grips with the concept of irony. "It was weird" Fullmer
said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy and it
was raining and he pulled a face and said, "great weather
eh?" and I thought - "wait a minute, no way is it great
weather". Fullmer then realised that the other man's
'mistake' was in fact deliberate. Fullmer, who is 39 next month
and married with two children, aged 8 and 3, plans to use irony
himself in future. "I'm like using it all the time." he
said. "Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them
to shit and I said "hey, great weather!".
Unknown Person 6/2/2002, 16:39
Email
Not Given
Two goldfish in a tank, one says to the other "Do you know
how to drive this?"
Ann Dee 6/2/2002, 10:34
Email
Not Given
I'm going skiing on Friday night. It's not a joke but it cheers me
up.
Kath 6/2/2002, 10:17
Email
Not Given
Anyone got any good jokes to cheer me and everyone else up??
John 5/2/2002, 14:5
Email
Not Given
Josie, I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like your bosses
have put quite a lot of effort into messing with your head.
Liz 5/2/2002, 13:44
Email
Not Given
Josie - keep happy - just remember what a fab weekend we've just
had. (Thanks again Ken & Sarah) Your attachment didn't work
I'm afraid so I'll collect your CV tonight. Don't suppose you
managed to run the hoover around while you popped in to use our
computer?
Badger 5/2/2002, 13:43
Email
Not Given
Hello David. How was Trisha this morning, or do you favour the
oh-so-sincere qualities of Montel Williams? Also, is Simon
behaving himsef?
Josie 5/2/2002, 13:16
Email
Not Given
Can you believe it - I've had to come into my mum's office to look
on the site because our home PC has died! Redundant and PC-less.
Isn't life crap sometimes!!! By the way, my ASK e-mail is no
longer the way to contact me for obvious reasons. Try my on
josiehughes@talk21.com, although I'm very bad at checking it!
Anyone know of any jobs...
dave 5/2/2002, 12:12
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
For anyone seeking Redundancy comfort I suggest a quick sojourn to
the audio section of the site. Listen to the 'Redundancy Blues'
man - I tell you, it's like way ahead of it's time. By the way
anyone wishing to contact me via e-mail please use my dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
address. Cheers
Badger 5/2/2002, 10:35
Email
Not Given
Ok, so now I feel like a complete cu#t for actually wanting to be
made redundant. Proof positive of my uncanny ability to put my
foot in my mouth at the most inappropriate times. Josie, all will
be well I'm sure.
Ken 5/2/2002, 10:11
Email
Not Given
Josie asked me to let Madhatters know that she has unfortunately
been made redundant and will be leaving the office today...Can't
life be a bitch sometimes...chin up Josie I'm sure something good
will happen and that certainly goes out to everyone else who is
still looking for a job...by the way Paul, good luck with the cash
pay out if it comes.
Badger 5/2/2002, 9:56
Email
Not Given
BT Cellnet have just announced 1,400 redundancies. It's what I've
been holding out for. Time to start begging for a cash payout.
Wish me luck.......
Sion 5/2/2002, 9:33
Email
Not Given
Busy week. See you all next week. Fab time at center parcs. thanks
Ken and Sarah
Bruce 4/2/2002, 18:37
Email
Not Given
Well yes it is true the world is no longer safe. As Dave wrote,
Charlotte Amy Maclean was born on the 21/1/02. Just like to thank
all of you who have sent e-mails and cards. Jane and Charlotte are
both well and I am knackered (like any one cares if I'm OK!! It
was all my fault any way!). Anyway I'm leaving work now to go
change some nappies and to catch up with all the crap TV on in the
small hours of the morning.
Steve Phipps 4/2/2002, 15:14
Email
Not Given
Dave: Don't forget the Alumni moot tonight. We can share a beer in
the Font and mull over how to get back into work...
Badger 4/2/2002, 13:57
Email
Not Given
David. It's lovely to hear from you. I have been checking back at
the site every so often but I had pretty much come to the
conclusion that I was the only Madhatter left alive. I heard about
your news and Im sure things will turn out nice again
sooner or later. I am still praying for the axe to fall here and
then, who knows, maybe I will end up living in one of your
cupboards as well. Im very quiet and I dont eat much, if
anything. I do have a very fine mental picture of you and my
brother spending all day sitting on a sofa together watching
daytime tv and eating Wotsits, or some other savoury products
maybe even a nice piece of cake every so often. I am suitably
jealous. Ah well, Ive made it half way through Monday already
so I guess thats progress of sorts.
dave 4/2/2002, 13:6
Email
Not Given
Hi Badge, erm I'm at home doing stuff at the moment 'cos I am now
a home worker. Cool. Simon is in his room tapping something about
stuff and worrying about the fact that it's raining. We are not
watching daytime TV - honest.
Badger 4/2/2002, 10:41
Email
Not Given
Oh crap, it's Monday again. How exactly did that happen? It seems
like I was only just here. Ah well, I hope everyone had a good
weekend. Who would like to start this week's Madhatters 'chat' by
writing something amusing......
Literal being 3/2/2002, 16:4
Email
Not Given
...blankets...(though, technically speaking they're inside rather
than on)...
Le Burge 1/2/2002, 16:2
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
I've been away from this sight for just two weeks and it has
definitely taken a turn towards the weird. Bruce and Jane -
congratulations. Who is Jerry Brown and what was his posting about
(it was far to long to even begin the process of contemplating
whether to read it)? Oh, and I understand that it's a bit cold and
windy in merry old England. Never mind.
John, not Bill Bryson 1/2/2002, 18:4
Email
Not Given
Nick, yes it would, but it wasn't actually me that wrote that
posting...I mean it wasn't me who wrote it...or should it be, it
was not I who wrote it. What I'm trying to say is that I never
done it. All right?
Badger 1/2/2002, 14:28
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Kev, a most entertaining website. Have you seen the flash
animations of all three movies at www.dudestudios.com? That's
another guy with way too much time on his hands.
scully 1/2/2002, 11:24
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Kev - that is someone with far too much time on their hands.
kevin 1/2/2002, 10:47
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http://www.asciimation.co.nz/
Nick W 1/2/2002, 8:26
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John.... Er... Troublesome words? Would that be the generous
birthday present I bought you?
Steve Phipps 31/1/2002, 16:8
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Simon H: I thought you were going to send your 'writer's guide'
through to Carolyn?
Josie 31/1/2002, 16:1
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Si - it was an observation, not a complaint. I like oddness.
Bill Bryson 31/1/2002, 15:42
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For all gramatical queries please consult "Troublesome
Words" which is a book I wrote some years ago.
Mr Picky 31/1/2002, 15:31
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And budding writers shouldn't start sentences with 'and'..oh
bugger.
Simon H 31/1/2002, 14:58
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Dave - perhaps you could throw in a few other wild card birthdays
such as Mr Sputum and Mr Viagracok. And Josie - you married
him.... ! And Sion - oddness is a sign of great intelligence.
John 31/1/2002, 12:31
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Why don't we ask his uncle, Old Grey Whistle?
Sion 31/1/2002, 12:11
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I seem to remember that it's 'Smear' a fine old Gaelic name
meaning 'discomfort' or 'stirrup'
dave 31/1/2002, 11:48
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Oh, er yes Happy Birthday Mr Test (erm, it's not a programming
mistake). Can anyone remember what 'Testy's' or 'Testes' first
name was?
Josie 31/1/2002, 11:33
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Sion - you're very odd!
Sion 31/1/2002, 11:34
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I remember Mr Test (or Testy as we used to call him) back when he
was a quiz. I believe there is a photo going around showing him as
a newly formed question. Aaaah, bless.
Ken 31/1/2002, 10:55
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I would also like to wish Mr Test a very Happy Birthday and may he
live long and prosper.
Simon H 31/1/2002, 10:1
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And happy birthday Mr Test. I hope you have a great day - you may
wish to join us tomorrow for a celebration.
Simon H 31/1/2002, 9:59
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By the way, can Ken and Steve please reveal their secret messages
- no secrets on this page boys !
Simon H 31/1/2002, 9:56
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Today be my last day in work for a while (I hope). Don't forget -
anyone who wishes to celebrate any form of early mid-life crisis -
a group of us are meeting up at Butlers Wharf at noon tomorrow
(Friday 1st) for beers and pizzas and then on for a drunken ramble
around the Tate Modern and other such landmarks and pubs.
Resignations, redundancies, voluntary redundancies, new mothers
and fathers, expectant mothers and fathers, unhappy in their
careers, happy in their careers, come one, come all, come everyone
for a day out. And if you can't get the day off just play hooky.
Sion 30/1/2002, 17:38
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Brucey, send in a piccy of little Maclean Jr.
Ken 30/1/2002, 15:48
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The latter.
Steve Phipps 30/1/2002, 14:46
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...and it's relationship to this page? Or have you just guessed
the person behind the persona?
Ken 30/1/2002, 13:2
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Steve Phipps... further to our conversation in The Horn, I have
now seen the light!
Sion 30/1/2002, 10:9
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Hello Everyone, I've been off work with a poorly throat, but I'm
back at work now. How I've missed you all. Who was that who sent
us their thesis on Oakland? I've read shorter novels, and more
interesting ones too. Oh yes, congrats to the fecund Wiggins duet
on becoming a trio.
Literal being 30/1/2002, 8:58
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...an arran jumper...my honed pectorals...an exhausted whore...the
remains of last night's dinner...
Lesley 29/1/2002, 21:35
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2/1 odds on Wyatt and White!! Do I get a say in this?
Congratulations Nick and Sarah. And don't forget, I'll always be
available to babysit on all those many occasions I make it north
of Milton Keynes.
confused person 29/1/2002, 19:43
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Can someone delete that boring and inappropriate speech down
below. How bizarre.
Simon H 29/1/2002, 17:19
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Many congratulations on the latest arrival guys !!!!
Scully 29/1/2002, 13:55
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Buying a sensible estate car is going to pay off now!
dave 29/1/2002, 13:19
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Big up the Wigs. That's an acceptable excuse for missing
Edinburgh. Congrats Nick and Sarah.
Scully 29/1/2002, 11:31
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Biggest congratuations to the Wiggins. From what I have heard, you
thought pets could make a mess - you ain't seen nothin' yet! Can I
assume that you will be buying Byker Grove wall paper to decorate
the nursary? Mr B, me thinks you have been reading too many web
sites offering yourself up for cash! As for the odds on myself and
Claire, I fear Honey that you will not make much on that one.
Claire and I frequently visit our niece and nephew (3 and 1.5
years old) and that does as a very good natural contraceptive!
Chris E 29/1/2002, 10:53
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Nick Did a small package arrive at your humble abode yesterday.
Let me know cos if not I've got to shout at some delivery men!
Psi 29/1/2002, 10:47
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Nick, you only get the cash if I am verified pregnant and that may
be beyond even you.
Nick W 29/1/2002, 10:48
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Yes....And I should warn you, there is power in these loins.
Psi 29/1/2002, 10:25
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Ouch, Honest Guv, I didn't realise I had been written off so
completely. Alright I'll have a 2 grand on myself to be a father
before I'm 40. Now, will anyone sleep with me for £100,000?
Ken 29/1/2002, 9:42
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A mighty fine speech Jerry, I feel that you could have included
and congratulated even more monumental events like the imminent
arrival of the Smith's (Robbie or Kylie) sprog or the birth of
Bruce & Jane's bambino...congrats to you. Finally I would like
to wish Nick & Sarah all the very best, we are very exited for
you both, as Sarah has said previously we shan't be following in
your footsteps just yet. I also very much doubt that the baby
agenda rates very highly with John Wyatt, but stranger things have
happened.
Nick W 29/1/2002, 9:39
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Err.... Did I miss something?
Jerry Brown 28/1/2002, 17:22
jb@jerrybrown.org
It's time on this special day to celebrate Oakland and to
rededicate ourselves to realizing the incredible possibilities of
this unusual city. Integrated, international, artistic, both rich
and poor at the same time, a place of creativity and hope ...
There is Oakland: a microcosm of the unfinished American agenda.
As this century and millennium draw to a close, it is well to
reflect on the transitory quality of things human. What rises,
falls; what begins, ends and what ends, begins again in some new
form. This is true of cities as well as nations. Nothing is
standing still -- not the march of technology, not the assault on
the environment and not the intrusion of the global economy into
our lives. Oaklanders, the accelerating pace of events is testing
us. It's time to act decisively. In truth, you have already
started. Last year, in numbers far greater than usual, you
participated in the election for mayor and then a few months later
overwhelmingly approved significant changes in the governing
charter of the City. You vested me with executive authority and
ultimate responsibility for the conduct of city business. In a
very important way, you asserted hope and expressed a collective
belief that real change is possible. I share that belief and
pledge to you that the city government will operate skillfully,
with honesty and impartiality. To the best of my ability, and
working with each member of the City Council, I will endeavor to
make your city administration a government of the people. Our city
manager has set the tone and I will back him up in his commitment
to make excellence and fairness our guiding standards. Past
mistakes make it imperative that we spend public money and
obligate the public purse with the greatest of care. The measure
must always be: what is best for the city as a whole, not who has
the best lobbyist or who brings the most people to City Council.
Today marks the beginning of our new journey together -- one that
must be undertaken with courage and the willingness to speak truth
to each other. It is no secret that we are frustrated -- even
angry -- at the gap between Oakland's inherent capacity and the
stark reality of above-average crime, below-average schools and a
downtown struggling still to recapture its glory. It doesn't
disparage the achievements that have been made to speak with
candor about what's to be done. This is no time to live in denial.
Let us rather summon the power of truth so that we can with
fortitude sweep away the heavy obstacles that block our path. For
this task, soothing words are the enemy of change. At the outset,
we should acknowledge that Oakland is no island. The ills that
counteract our amazing location are the same ones that plague
other cities in Urban America: closed factories which destroy
blue-collar jobs, depressed wages for the unskilled and federal
subsidies which lure people to safer and cheaper suburban land.
All over America, once proud and lively cities witnessed the
hollowing out of their urban centers as millions joined the great
exodus outward. Oakland did not escape these national trends. In
fact, our city mirrors the trajectory of the country itself --
both its successes and its failures and -yes- its unspent
potential. Since these outside forces so deeply affect Oakland and
shape its destiny, we will seek in Washington for what is our due
and claim at the state capitol all that is ours. In the circles of
national and state power, the voices of Oaklanders will be heard.
Yet, a city such as ours must avoid the temptation to adopt a
supplicant's role. As a community of extraordinary talent, we need
not wait upon the machinations of state and federal politics, nor
look elsewhere for what we can do ourselves. We have the strength
and character to affect those aspects of city life that are within
our grasp: what our children learn, the peace and security of
neighborhoods, the vibrancy of downtown and the creativity and
craft which we can share with each other. Given the riches of this
city, there should be no excuses. During the last fourteen months,
I have had the privilege of meeting you in your home and listening
to the concerns of every neighborhood. More precise and more
direct than any public opinion poll, I encountered people speaking
their truth about what they like and don't like about their city.
It was out of this experience that I made my four-fold pledge: 1)
to reduce crime, 2) to bring 10,000 people to downtown to live, 3)
to assist parents and teachers to establish public Charter Schools
of their choice and 4) to encourage celebration, festival and
artistic performance. My goal is to build on the inherent
strengths of our city and do everything possible to foster a
climate of neighborliness, friendship and civility. The underside
of economic growth and technological change has been to make
American cities more anonymous and more fearful. Window bars and
metal gates in front of doors - a practice no more than a few
decades old -- do not betray a convivial spirit. On thousands of
homes right here in Oakland, such a practice gives clear evidence
of fear -- fear of break-ins and dangerous intruders. Razor-wire
fences used to guard hundreds of businesses send the same message.
For many, these fears are understandable, yet they are no less
unacceptable. It can never be right to tolerate an atmosphere
where crime and the fear of crime undermine the rights of
citizens. All persons in our community should be able to feel
secure in their homes or on the public streets and at any hour of
the day. Throughout America and in Oakland as well, reported crime
rates have declined. But before resting on any laurels, be aware
that crime is still a serious problem in Oakland. For example,
last year Oakland logged 81 homicides, the first time in a quarter
century that fewer than 100 killings were reported. Yet, San
Francisco, with double our population, reported 63 and San Jose,
with even more residents, reported only 30 homicides. In terms of
other crimes of violence, Oakland has double the rate of New York
City. Much more has to be done. In addition to filling the
vacancies on the police force and recruiting for it as many
Oaklanders as possible who will live as well as work in our city,
four steps need to be taken: 1. Each of the 57 neighborhood crime
prevention councils must be fully supported by the city. In
addition to dedicated police personnel, it is absolutely crucial
that neighbors come together and collaborate -- and not just about
crime statistics. I see these councils as a form of democratic
power -- the power from below -- and as an occasion for neighbors
to share ideas and thereby give real meaning to the word
""neighborhood.'' I also see in these councils an
opportunity to build closer ties between the community and the
police based on mutual respect. 2. Information technology must be
used so that the resources of the police and the community can be
deployed intelligently and without delay. Instead of learning
weeks after the fact that new patterns of crime are developing,
Oakland must be in the position to respond in real time. 3. Big
problems often have small beginnings. That is why it is so
important to demand respect for all the laws. Whether you call it
the ""Broken Window'' theory or a fight against
""crime and grime,'' Oakland must demand the highest
standards. 4. I will support every lawful action and utilize the
criminal justice system to the maximum to rid our neighborhoods of
criminals. Hear this message: crime and disrespect for the rights
of others will not be tolerated. Period. Tied closely to the
incidence of crime are depressed economies and persistent
unemployment. Lack of investment easily fosters desperation and
despair that lead to crime and anti-social behavior. In turn,
crime deters investment and thereby sets in motion a vicious cycle
of more crime and fewer investments. I see as an immediate
opportunity for Oakland, the restoration of downtown as a place to
live as well as work. Significant private residential investment
would not only create jobs but foster the vitality and human
density that once was the hallmark of Oakland's historic center. I
envision at least 10,000 new residents living between the 980
Freeway and Lake Merritt, and a City Center and downtown streets
alive in the evenings and on weekends. Throughout the nation, in
many older cities, empty warehouses and commercial buildings have
been converted to living spaces. What was once abandoned became
thereby reinhabited. Sustainability is concept that I should
mention here. Whatever its ultimate meaning in the fossil fuel
dependent age, it is clear that continuing sprawl. paved over
agricultural land and time-consuming commutes are less sustainable
than living close to work. That factor alone will ultimately drive
downtown Oakland toward elegant density and mixed-use vibrancy.
And as it does, let the schools and the city and the multitude of
job training centers do their utmost to ensure that Oaklanders are
ready for the thousands of jobs that are thereby created. If there
is one complaint I have heard more than any other, it is the state
of our schools. Despite the separate jurisdiction of the Oakland
School District and its independent governing board, countless
parents have shared with me over the last year their despair and
dissatisfaction. For many, their answer is private school or
flight. For the majority their only choice is to stick with the
system in place, a system that condemns thousands of students to
failure. There are many factors, circumstances and conditions, not
the least of which is inadequate money. Nevertheless, parents
cannot be expected to wait forever. Improvements in the early
grades may or may not lead to long awaited gains in the later
grades. As your mayor, I stand ready to work with the leadership
of Oakland's schools. One thing I will not do is engage in denial
-- denial by pretending that things are better than they are or
denial by creating an impression that "just around the
corner" everything will be fine. By the school district's own
figures, three of Oakland's regular high schools reported last
year that less than 10 percent of their tenth graders could
achieve grade level in reading. That is not acceptable. No one
should fail to appreciate good teachers in Oakland or the fine
programs that exist. Yet, taken as whole, the game plan in
Oakland's public schools harkens back to the
"gradualism" which Martin Luther King Jr. condemned at
the height of the civil rights movement. Gradualism accepts
glacial change and fears rocking the boat. Gradualism is prepared
to wait for many generations until sometime in the far off future
things are finally made right. If such "deliberate
speed" caused injustice in the Sixties, don't doubt that it
has the same impact in Oakland today. Justice delayed is justice
denied -- whether in schools, in the voting booth or on the job
site. There must be a clear plan of action that will enable the
students in Oakland's public schools to succeed and a way to
demonstrate that success... now, not in the by-and-by of some
distant future. For my part, I intend to assist parents and
teachers to create charter schools of their own choosing.
Together, we will pioneer alternative forms of learning and
schooling-as various and as creative as the courage of the parents
and teachers who accept the challenge. There are no preconditions
other than the commitment to strive for excellence and
inclusiveness. The fourth element of my pledge is to support the
arts and encourage festival and celebration in Oakland. The
inaugural festivities tonight are an example of what I envision
... people expressing their talent and sharing it with others. The
life of a great city transcends the mundane and expresses itself
in a liturgy of public performance and art. Mere efficiency can
never substitute for the soaring spirit of the creative
imagination. I invite artists and craftpersons to step forward,
choosing Oakland as your venue. Today, I make a solemn promise to
be a catalyst for change. But I cannot work for change alone. I
need each of you to commit yourselves with me to work change for
the common good. You and I must make our voices heard. You and I,
each in our own way, must stand up to forces that would overwhelm
us. We must change and move beyond inwardly turning self interest
to interest in the greater good. We must see one another as
brothers and sisters. I am only one person with flaws, and in my
60 years I have made mistakes, but I commit to each of you that I
will strive to my utmost to continually change within myself. I do
not pretend to know all the right questions, must less have all
the right answers. And even if I did, it wouldn't make much
difference unless the government I proplse becomes an ongoing
dynamic process in which all of you are not only heard, but truly
engaged. Only then can a consensus of action emerge which speaks
the will of the community. Institutions, bureaucracies and systems
lack the human capacity to care; only individual persons can do
that. Let each of us step forward and join the cause of our city.
Join with you neighbors. And then, by the tens, then by the
hundreds, then by the thousands, we will reclaim our streets, our
schools and our city. May God bless our undertaking.
Honest Guv'nor 28/1/2002, 22:41
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With the Wiggins bombshell...I'm opening a book on who'll be next
on the baby front. Evens on the Scullions, the Havers and the
Phipps' within 2 years. 2/1 odds on Wyatt and White, with the
Rodrigues' just ahead of Payne & Patrick. For the long shots
I'd happily give 50/1 on Hopes Sr and The Bennett within 10
years.....The book is now closed on the Hull & Hartwell baby
machines going for numbers 3 and 2 respectively.
Sarah Rodrigues 28/1/2002, 22:32
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Congratulations to the Wiggins' again. I would just like to say we
will not be following you in your footsteps quite yet, you brave
souls. Here's to dirty nappies and sleepless nights in 6 months
time!!!
Nothing Unknown 28/1/2002, 16:55
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Person Said
Nothing Person 28/1/2002, 16:7
Not
mail E-Given
Unknown said
Unknown Person 28/1/2002, 15:21
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Nothing said.
Josie 28/1/2002, 13:6
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Isn't it exciting - all these babies. But I had a scary moment
yesterday when I realised that Liz & Si will one day have a
teenager...
Liz 28/1/2002, 12:58
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Congrats Nick & Sarah. Good to see you yesterday - couldn't
stop smiling after your announcement.
Nick W 28/1/2002, 12:37
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Sadly it would appear that we are not going to make the Edinburgh
trip this year... See News for details.
George 28/1/2002, 12:35
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Today is the last Monday I shall be rudely awoken by the company
phone.. This is due to a closed eyes and arms flailing around
incident, at the disgraceful hour of 9:10 this morning. The
consequence of this was loud crashing noise, a comical slurring of
the ring tone. Hence you would not be too suprised that after a
few nanoseconds, several small components of the said telephone,
found themselves distributed across the floor. Of course I did try
to ring the office to explain my actions, but for some strange
reason this had proven to be impossible!
Liz 28/1/2002, 11:19
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Hopefully this is the last Monday I will drop my toast on the
kitchen floor - especially when there is no more bread in the
house. I am now very hungry and awaiting lunch in 41 minutes.
dave 28/1/2002, 11:18
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Andy, today is possibly the last Monday I will spend at my office
too. Unless you have a surplus of cash you would like to invest in
our coffers. I don't mind though as I'm still laughing at the word
'monkey'. He, he, he said 'monkey'.
Ann Dee 28/1/2002, 11:5
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Today is the last Monday I shall travel in to my current office in
the West End. Is anyone else doing something today for the last
time on a Monday?
Josie 28/1/2002, 10:54
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I think we should start a campaign for 5 day weekends and 2 day
weeks.
Unknown Person 28/1/2002, 9:50
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monkey
Badger 28/1/2002, 9:42
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Oh crap, it's Monday again. How exactly did that happen? It seems
like I was only just here. Ah well, I hope everyone had a good
weekend. Who would like to start this week's Madhatters 'chat' by
writing something amusing......
Psi 25/1/2002, 19:57
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Really Dave. All it takes is a little Archive-aeology. It was in
fact... Mrs Heath!
Psi 25/1/2002, 19:54
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Nothing said.
Psi 25/1/2002, 19:54
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Nothing said.
Unknown Person 25/1/2002, 17:18
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That'll be Santa Claus
Gary 25/1/2002, 17:16
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Who's the person in the photo with a big white beard?
Simon H 25/1/2002, 15:47
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Badge - that joke was for you. Just rememebr that from little oaks
do great big acorns grow. It's better to be a big wheel in a
little cog than a stitch in time. One day your prince will come.
It is better to have lost a love than loved a lost. Time heals but
TCP helps. Never urinate forwards out of a moving train window.
Simon H 25/1/2002, 15:37
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Have a joke: The SAS, the Army and the Police decide to go on a
survival weekend together, to see who comes out on top. After some
basic exercises, the trainer tells them their next objective is to
go down to the woods and come back with a rabbit for tea. First up
are the SAS. They don their infra-red goggles, drop to the ground,
and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for five
minutes, followed by a single muffled shot. They emerge with a
rabbit, shot cleanly through the forehead. "Excellent"
says the trainer. Next, the army. They finish their cans of lager
and cover themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and
charge down to the woods, screaming at the top of their voices.
For the next half hour the woods ring with the sound of machine
guns, mortar bombs, hand grenades and blood- curdling war cries.
They emerge with the charred remains of a rabbit. "A bit
messy, but you got a result. Well done!" said the trainer.
Lastly, in go the Police, walking slowly with hands behind their
backs. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the
crackle of walkie talkies. "Sierra oscar lima, suspect
heading straight for you," etc. After what seems like an
eternity, they emerge with a squirrel in handcuffs. "What the
hell do you think you are doing?" asks the trainer.
"Take this squirrel back and got me a rabbit, like I asked
you to five hours ago". So back they go. Minutes pass.
Minutes turn to hours. Day turns to night. The next morning the
trainer and the rest of the crew are awakened by the Police
holding the squirrel, now covered in bruises. "Are you taking
the mick ?" asked the seriously irate trainer. The Police
team leader shoots a glance at the squirrel who squeaks,
"Alright, alright I'm a fuking rabbit!"
dave 25/1/2002, 15:12
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When we wne to Castle Drogo which famous Mrs was on the stairs -
I've forgotten?
Sion 25/1/2002, 14:37
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Deep breaths... in.....out....in.....out....keep going......and
calm
badger 25/1/2002, 13:5
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Oh my god!!!! I hadnt noticed that heinous crime at all. I can
only apologise to one and all for my shoddy posting. My English
teacher at school was right all long with his constant jibes of
could try harder and doesnt pay sufficient attention
in class. I must be some kind of literary retard. I shall fall
on my sword forthwith, disembowel and generally do away with
myself in an attempt to appease the gods of the English language.
Forgive me dear lord. Simon, this is why I shouldnt ever write
anything. Im a fucking monkey with a pc and, in a room of
several others, it wouldnt be me that creates something to
rival the works of William Shakespeare given sufficient millennia.
Things were going ok. Everything was starting to look a lot
better, but now this!!!!!!
Psi 25/1/2002, 12:42
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Never mind the 'in' Badger who is this Uncle and who is bringing
him men?
Badger 25/1/2002, 12:11
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Please feel free to insert the word 'in' at an appropriate time
when reading my last posting.
Badger 25/1/2002, 12:6
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Yes, and at the end of the prequel there would have to be the
explanation of how Mr. and Mrs. Knight end up an episode of 'The
Men for Uncle' during 'Episode II' of the trilogy.
Sion 25/1/2002, 11:43
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Where the vulcans are withholding the technology to make black
boxes with flashing led's from the humans
Badger 25/1/2002, 11:5
Email
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Ok, 'Friday Knight: The Previous Generation' then.
Sion 25/1/2002, 11:11
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It's all prequels these days, dontcha know?
Badger 25/1/2002, 10:17
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Sion, I hope you're not trying to give my brother any ideas about
making 'Friday Knight: The Next Generation'.
Simon H 25/1/2002, 10:2
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I like to think I am fully housetrained. In fact, Dave has only
had to dig the toilet out once since I arrived. Sion - very funny
Friday Knight reference ! Ah, they don't make them like that
anymore.
Liz 25/1/2002, 9:51
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Elmo! So I guess you've decided its a boy this week.
Sion 25/1/2002, 9:41
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Charlotte Mclean now 4 days old and a little angel whose control
of her orifices is already better than her fathers. 25 years from
now - Charlie Mclean, attractive, yet deadly, covert secret
service agent working outside the law to find her missing father,
top scientist, Professor Bruce Mclean, the worlds leading expert
on the compressed air driven warp engine. Torn between her
obsessive search for the Professor and the power-tool based home
life with the man she loves, Elmo Smith of Hartwell, Nothants.
Honey 24/1/2002, 15:19
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CONGRATULATIONS...to Bruce and Jane and Dave and Caro on your new
arrivals. I feel I can safely say that Dave and Caro are probably
going to find it much easier looking after their little bundle of
joy as girls are definately trouble! Mind you...I'll wager
Caroline will be needing a few months bed rest after the arrival
of an 11 1/2 stone strapping lad like Simon. Feel free to consult
on matters of discipline...but to get you started I recomend
leaving him in his own room right from the start and if he
cries...leave him for five minutes, then reassure him and leave
him for six minutes etc....gradually increasing until you can get
through the whole night without disturbance.
Another unknown person 24/1/2002, 13:59
Email
Not Given
'My brain is my second favourite organ' Woody Allen
Gary 24/1/2002, 13:11
Email
Not Given
Yes Simon.
Simon H 24/1/2002, 10:13
Email
Not Given
Gary - you should be filing. If you don't start now, it will just
push your return to work date back and you won't get any share
options.
Unknown Person 23/1/2002, 16:41
Email
Not Given
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be
done just as easily lying down." Woody Allen
Gary 23/1/2002, 16:39
Email
Not Given
You see, sabbaticals are not all they're cracked up to be - My
colour printer no longer prints black!
Gary 23/1/2002, 16:37
Email
Not Given
For more quotes than you can handle try having a look at
www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 for jems such as "A rumor
without a leg to stand on will get around some other way."
Gary 23/1/2002, 16:27
Email
Not Given
As I've got nothing better to do I just did a search on the
national lottery website to see if the numbers I chose for the
first ever draw have ever come up. I think I am pleased to tell
you that they haven't apart from the odd tenner and once when 4 of
them did on 15 Nov 1997.
John 23/1/2002, 15:18
Email
Not Given
I got a quote today, but it was more than I'm currently paying, so
I decided to leave it.
Mr Bumhole 23/1/2002, 15:0
Email
Not Given
"Arse"
Badger 23/1/2002, 14:46
Email
Not Given
That's good also.
Unknown Person 23/1/2002, 14:45
Email
Not Given
How about "Today is Shite"
Badger 23/1/2002, 14:44
Email
Not Given
"Seeing through people is easy, and gets you nowhere" is
my favourite quote of the moment.
Simon H 23/1/2002, 14:20
Email
Not Given
My favourite quote: "To err is human but to really fuk things
up you need a computer"
Dudley Moore 23/1/2002, 12:51
Email
Not Given
Oh, you know.....
Peter Cook 23/1/2002, 12:50
Email
Not Given
What things?
Nigel Tuffnell 23/1/2002, 12:50
Email
Not Given
Or did I say that. I forget these things.
David St. Hubbins 23/1/2002, 12:50
Email
Not Given
"Have a good time, all the time"
Josie 23/1/2002, 11:49
Email
Not Given
The sun came out for a short while. Now it's gone. New subject:
what's your favourite quote?
dave 23/1/2002, 11:49
Email
Not Given
It is a lovely day at work. Oh yes. God bless us, all of us -
especially the little children.
Simon H 23/1/2002, 11:46
Email
Not Given
Grey. Grey. Grey. The sky is grey, the buildings are grey, the
roads are grey. London is Grey. The World is Grey. Life is Grey.
There is no colour...... It was raining earlier as well. Oh look -
Gary's bored already. Oh well, only SIX months more till you go
back to work !!
Gary 23/1/2002, 11:13
Email
Not Given
Hi All.
Josie 23/1/2002, 11:7
Email
Not Given
It's rainy and windy and grey and horrid in Cranfield today.
What's it like in the rest of the world?
Simon H 22/1/2002, 17:13
Email
Not Given
I definitely wouldn't want to steal Bruce's wind. And I'm not sure
any self-respecting burgler would.
Josie 22/1/2002, 16:42
Email
Not Given
Hurrah! A new Madhatter has joined the world! Congratulations
Bruce & Jane
dave 22/1/2002, 12:49
Email
Not Given
Charlotte Amy Maclean, 7ib 7oz, born at 10:41am Monday 21st Jan.
Whilst not wishing to steal Bruce's wind I guess the world needs
to know. So congratulations from Madhatters Jane, Ame and Bruce
Maclean. Please feel free to post your warmest.
Simon H 22/1/2002, 12:40
Email
Not Given
Many congratulations to Bruce Maclean for giving birth to a lovely
baby er... girl... I think. Davy P. has the details. All I can
tell you all is that it weighed um.... something average and is
called Charlotte I think. Any way - well done. And indeed well
done to Jane as well who I am led to believe had something to do
with the proceedings.
Josie 21/1/2002, 17:16
Email
Not Given
Simon - you can have some of my work if you like. I've spent all
day doing my old job, I've now got to start with Monday's stuff
for my new job. Ahhhhhh!
Simon H 21/1/2002, 15:54
Email
Not Given
... and who is currently so excrutiatingly bored, his brain just
flat-lined.
dave 21/1/2002, 15:20
Email
Not Given
Oh yes... and er we gave a home to a little baby Simon Hopes. He's
doing fine, weighs in at 11.5 stone and is mostly housetrained.
Simon H 21/1/2002, 14:36
Email
Not Given
Only when I walk across the landing or do my bell ringing
practice.
Honey 21/1/2002, 14:21
Email
Not Given
Hi Dave...Yes...it has been ages...pc has been in
hybernation...but has returned to us now. Hope the gig went well.
Jazz and Mitch are both well...Mitch is enjoying being a
completely head-strong stubborn, but non-the-less charming cheeky
little character...I have no idea where he gets it from. Jasmine
is a total dreamer and spends half her time gazing out of windows
and being generally distracted by flowers and trees and birds
etc....The other half of the time she is being a stroppy little
madam and arguing about anything and everything. Hmmmm I sense a
pattern emerging. Seriously though they are both great and I love
em to bits. What about you? How's Caro and are there any unusual
sounds like bells or pitter patters yet?
dave 21/1/2002, 13:21
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Hi Honey - how's things? How's Jasmine and Mitch. The gig was Love
Junkies flavour - minus Bass as he was up with you. Say hi to Mr
Pearson, it's been ages since the two of you graced these pages.
Honey 21/1/2002, 12:44
Email
Not Given
Hullo there all! Thought I'd pop in and say Hi....Have absolutely
no interesting news or goss or anything either stimulating or
challenging to say to anyone but felt that I had to not say it
anyway! If you know what I mean. I hope everyone had a funky
Christmas...did I miss a good gig? What flavour was it...Otis?
Silent Prayers? etc? Understand Mr Burge is off to sunnier
shores...Goodluck to ya mate...Beware the food is all I'll
say....When I made a brief visit to the states back in my youth
(Aaagh) far more of me came home then I had bargained for. It was
the begining of the end.......
Sion 21/1/2002, 12:43
Email
Not Given
Thats just age luv
Simon H 21/1/2002, 12:32
Email
Not Given
Dave Wild - Do you fancy coming down to St Albans ? Maybe there's
a gig we could go an see ? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dave 21/1/2002, 12:15
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Morning - like to thank all the MH folk who came and supported the
band at The Horn on Friday night. It means a lot to have so many
of you there. BTW, I am now officially a 'musical prostitute' and
am looking forward to the days when I can play some Chas 'n Dave -
my real musical passion.
Secondly, glad the Poker Night went well on Saturday - it could
have degenerated into a bloody mess with Daz 'throw in the car
keys' Remmers but fortunately 7 quid was the max amount lost.
Sorry Psi! Well done Bri.
Third, hope that you got my e-mail about Edinburgh. If you can
make it to the trip I need a deposit of £25 per room (not per
person) by the end of this week. See the link on the left for more
details.
Finally, is anyone up for a bit of Footy this year? It's been a
year and a half since the last game and my legs are starting to
seize.
Literal being 19/1/2002, 8:48
Email
Not Given
a broken padlock...an olde treasure map...some fluffy towels...a
spyglass with ink around the rim (easy!)...a compass...a stuffed
parrot - dead of course....
Sion 18/1/2002, 17:21
Email
Not Given
I seem to have them as I am older than I thought
Harve 18/1/2002, 16:30
Email
Not Given
Happy Birthday to you to Mr Burglar. Hope you had a most pleasant
day. Davey P, am bringing about 10 buddies in tonight with the
promise of lots of S Club 7 covers. Hopefully you have extended
your play-list. (Oh, and we're going to phone up that bloke who
might want you to play at his wedding and hold the phone out, so
no pressure). By the way, apparently I am 30 today, according to
the birthday page. I feel cheated as my parents told me I was 28.
I have lost two years of my life. Has anyone seen them?
Simon H 18/1/2002, 15:43
Email
Not Given
All true apart from the meal bit. Er I mean the coke fuelled
hooker bit. Hey - Coke fuelled hookers - I see a gap in the
market.
Simon H 18/1/2002, 15:41
Email
Not Given
Yes it is indeed Gary's last day at work - the lads at work are
taking him out for a meal tonight and then onto a strip club for a
coke-fuelled drinking binge and then home to bed with a couple of
hookers.
dave 18/1/2002, 14:11
Email
Not Given
After all, you may not ever get rich, but let me tell you it's
better that digging a ditch (working at the Car Wash that is).
Sorry Ditch diggers. Don't dis' ditch diggers. Alliteration goes a
long way. 4D. Keep it real.
dave 18/1/2002, 14:9
Email
Not Given
Life is like a pear tree. Full of odd shaped fruit. If you shake
it, you break it, if you drop it, you bruise it. I think we all
know what I'm talking about here. No matter what side of the fence
you sit on, the grass always looks rosy.
dave 18/1/2002, 14:8
Email
Not Given
Tinky Winky, La La, Dipsy oh sorry... wrong site. Dino - why so
sad apart from the obvious? The world is your lobster, never
forget that.
Dinosaur 18/1/2002, 13:40
Dino@age-before-beauty.com
I am now - where is that life insurance brochure?
Dinosaur 18/1/2002, 13:39
Dino@age-before-beauty.com
I'm not happy...
Sion 18/1/2002, 13:17
Email
Not Given
Which reminds me, I saw an ad last night for life insurance where
they give you your money back if you don't die. Shurely only of
use to Connor Mcleod?
Sion 18/1/2002, 13:15
Email
Not Given
Is Gary terminally ill then? Nobody tells me anything.
Le Burge 18/1/2002, 13:9
Email
Not Given
Still aiming to be at The Horn tonight so see you there (with
artwork - excellent!)
dave 18/1/2002, 12:43
Email
Not Given
By the way Si - are you all packed and ready to go? I have been
busy doing artwork for the new Otis album and it is nearly
finished (hear that Ken!). So you can check it out later if you
are still coming to the gig in St Albans ce soir. Happy Birthday
too, Harv - see ya later.
dave 18/1/2002, 12:34
Email
Not Given
Er, the sun-tan lotion obviously as your office is probably on the
beach.
dave 18/1/2002, 12:33
Email
Not Given
Oh rub it in why don't you Si.
Unknown Person 18/1/2002, 12:36
Email
Not Given
Simon Hopes, is it Garys last day today?
Le Burge 18/1/2002, 12:26
Email
Not Given
You know what makes me happy? When I return to work on Monday
it'll be in Santa Monica. In the (warm) sunshine with a seven
minute stroll to the office. Fantastic!
Le Burge 18/1/2002, 12:24
Email
Not Given
Happy Birthday Harv, and thanks for everyone's happy birthday for
me yesterday. I wasn't able to log on so I missed out on the
excitement of seeing my name up in lights. Psi - my mistake RE
Claire Faulkner. So who is she then? And why does everyone's
"I am happy 'cos..." "that makes me happy
because...." actually read completely the opposite. It all
sounds depressing. "I am happy because it's Friday.." I
almost want to cry. This seems to sum it up:- "The sun is
out, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you, But it's
raining. Raining in my heart" etc. Or maybe it's because I'm
a Londoner.
dave 18/1/2002, 12:18
Email
Not Given
I must apologise to anyone who has been trying to use the Search
Engine on the site. It quite simply, hasn't been working for 2
months. But I will fix it now... ho, hum the perils of the web
master.
Josie 18/1/2002, 12:9
Email
Not Given
I'm also happy because I'm moving to a new desk and I'm getting my
very own opening window
Simon H 18/1/2002, 12:2
Email
Not Given
I am bored but generally happy. I am going to the pub to listen to
the Spank Mankys tonite. I have only 9 days of work left before I
leave - that makes me happy.
dave 18/1/2002, 11:48
Email
Not Given
I'm pensive because I have to play my guitar later, and well quite
frankly the chord remembering faculties have got a lot to keep up
with tonight. Bridge to 'Sing it Back' anyone?
Josie 18/1/2002, 10:27
Email
Not Given
I'm very happy it's Friday too. I'm also very happy becasue I've
got a tube of Smarties.
Ann Dee 18/1/2002, 10:15
Email
Not Given
Today I am really happy that is Friday. Is anyone else really
happy about anything in particular today?
Simon H 18/1/2002, 9:37
Email
Not Given
Try this: http://www.nickgilbert.com/ghost.html
Unknown Person 17/1/2002, 17:13
Email
Not Given
hap·py (hp) adj. hap·pi·er, hap·pi·est Characterized by good
luck; fortunate. Enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure,
satisfaction, or joy. Being especially well-adapted; felicitous: a
happy turn of phrase. Cheerful; willing: happy to help.
Characterized by a spontaneous or obsessive inclination to use
something. Often used in combination: trigger-happy. Enthusiastic
about or involved with to a disproportionate degree. Often used in
combination: money-happy; clothes-happy. birth·day (būrthd) n.
The day of one's birth. The anniversary of one's birth.
Ken 17/1/2002, 17:0
Email
Not Given
Happy birthday Le Burge, hope to see you tomorrow at the gig in St
Albans.
Mr Unsympathetic 17/1/2002, 14:17
Email
Not Given
Get some help and stop whinging
Simon H 17/1/2002, 14:3
Email
Not Given
Croydon, Santa Monica, Milton Keynes - it's all the same really.
There'll still be people. Staring... Talking....
dave 17/1/2002, 11:44
Email
Not Given
Happy Birthday Si. Another year older, it's probably time in your
life that you do something radical like leave Croydon for Santa
Monica. You are!? Cool.
Nick W 17/1/2002, 9:29
Email
Not Given
Wasn't it Claire Goose in Casualty? I once shared a train carriage
with Claire Short, who was perhaps more rotund than short. Oh, how
we laughed the hours away between Bristol Parkway and Birmingham
International.
Sion 17/1/2002, 9:27
Email
Not Given
Unknown person - please do tell. What is the 'this' that you are
testing. A keyboard? a juicer? the prototype for the next
generation of space shuttles?
John 17/1/2002, 9:20
Email
Not Given
It could have been a lorry from The Smithsonian Institute with
'The' and 'hsonian Institute' covered in dirt.
Liz 17/1/2002, 8:39
Email
Not Given
Has anyone heard of a company called Smit - one of their lorries
very kindly ran into a friend of mine's car and drove off.
According to the Police their registeration doesn't exist -
marvellous. Please help.
kevin 16/1/2002, 20:12
Email
Not Given
Le Burge - your thinking of Lisa Faulkner who used to be in Holby
City
Unknown Person 16/1/2002, 14:3
Email
Not Given
I am testing this.
Le Burge 16/1/2002, 18:41
Email
Not Given
Psi - did you say that you gave the sexy Claire Faulkner, formally
from TV's Casualty, a lift in your car ?
kevin 16/1/2002, 18:10
Email
Not Given
go here
and click on the "Download the Free RealOne Player Only"
link.
Josie 16/1/2002, 17:35
Email
Not Given
Why do real.com give you a link for a free download and then try
to charge you $9.95 to download. That's not free. That's paying.
That's the opposite of free. I'm cross. I just wanted to listen to
something on Amazon. OK, rant over. I'm going home to sulk!
Simon H 16/1/2002, 17:36
Email
Not Given
I see people at work as well. Sometimes they talk to me. They talk
and talk and talk. They ask me to do things... things they want me
to do for them. They won't go away and if I don't do them, they
come back and talk to me again. With their talk, their selfish
insignificant talk. Their ta...... hello ? Oh okay then. I'm
coming.
Sion 16/1/2002, 17:41
Email
Not Given
Hells Bells, Si you sound like Dr Seuss on acid
Josie 16/1/2002, 16:56
Email
Not Given
They've been talking to me for years, and I'm not 30 yet
Scarily Nearly 30 16/1/2002, 17:0
Email
Not Given
Do you start hearing voices when you get old then?
Josie 16/1/2002, 16:52
Email
Not Given
Do you hear voices too Si?
Simon H 16/1/2002, 16:34
Email
Not Given
I see people on trains every day. Sometimes they look at me. Their
eyes tearing into me. Their greedy beady seedy eyes. Their cloth
stripping, burrowing, invading, sharp, unforgiving eyes. Their
eyes, always staring, their ey...... hello ? Yes nurse. I'm coming
now. I'm just talking to my friends.
Sion 16/1/2002, 16:13
Email
Not Given
Psi - you need to spend less time on trains!
Josie 16/1/2002, 15:47
Email
Not Given
Thank you.
Unknown Person 16/1/2002, 15:14
Email
Not Given
Josie - You can find all these things explained on www.whatis.com.
Just type in what you're looking for
Psi 16/1/2002, 15:4
Email
Not Given
Hmm, that link didn't come up highlighted. if you type it in
Josie, stop at the / before SAP in my post
Psi 16/1/2002, 15:3
Email
Not Given
http://www.sap-ag.de/ SAP/R3 is a high level bit of software that
can do accounting and loads of other knowledge management type
stuff
Josie 16/1/2002, 14:37
Email
Not Given
Can someone tell me what SAP is please.
Josie 16/1/2002, 14:34
Email
Not Given
I've never seen anyone interesting on a train. I usually get
wierdos sitting next to me who want to show me their scars and
things.
Psi 16/1/2002, 14:6
Email
Not Given
Barry Cryer left the train at Euston, one stop short of Mornington
Crescent, thus depriving me of an amusing gag (which I doubt he
would have appreciated).
Psi 16/1/2002, 14:5
Email
Not Given
Oops, that last one was a slip. People I have seen on trains or in
stations include: Clive Anderson, Nigel Planer, Gordon Kennedy,
Barry Cryer, Sue Johnstone, Arthur Scargill, Ken Livingstone,
Stephen Byers, Keith Hill, Kevin Goodhand, Jenny Mettham and
Claire Faulkner (but I gave the last three a lift to the station
so that probably doesn't count). In general the politicians were
in stations and the comedians on trains, I think there's a lesson
there.
Simon H 16/1/2002, 14:3
Email
Not Given
Hello. I live in St Albans. We wired a plug on the weekend and had
to fix it to the wall with gaffa tape. David took a photo of it. I
saw some friends in the pub on my first night which was very
welcoming. I saw Andy on the train this morning at the other end
of the carriage. It was full so after 10 minutes of hand signal
conversation, we had a mobile phone conversation instead... until
we went into a tunnel. I like being called interesting. Andy is
also interesting. I hope to see him in the pub later. Badger -
start writing a book to sell. You are very funny and have nothing
to lose. It will also keep you occupied until you think of
something to do with your life and may give you loads of money to
have more options. Who else thinks Badger should start turning his
hilarious cynicism into a best seller comedy book ?
Psi 16/1/2002, 13:59
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
Sion 16/1/2002, 14:5
Email
Not Given
I saw Hercule Poirot on a train last night on TV, He's fairly
interesting, if a bit pompous
Ann Dee 16/1/2002, 12:57
Email
Not Given
It's all a bit quiet today so I thought I'd start a topic of
conversation. I saw Simon Hopes on the train this morning. He was
travelling in from St Albans. He lives there now. Has anyone else
seen anyone interesting on the train? (Simon, by inference I
called you interesting there, hope you don't mind too much)
Unknown Person 15/1/2002, 17:54
Email
Not Given
If you want to know the definitive definition of knowledge
management go to www.whatis.com
Josie 15/1/2002, 17:23
Email
Not Given
However, that doesn't mean I know what I do!
Josie 15/1/2002, 17:18
Email
Not Given
Of course you could also look at our website to see what we say
about knowledge management - http://www.askeurope.com/
Badger 15/1/2002, 17:9
Email
Not Given
I still have no idea what I do for a living either.
Sion 15/1/2002, 17:19
Email
Not Given
After nearly 10 years I still have no idea what Josie does for a
living. Her IT support skills are very useful though
dave 15/1/2002, 17:0
Email
Not Given
Erm, I'll have 1 Knowledge Management system please for my house.
How much?
Josie 15/1/2002, 16:48
Email
Not Given
Yes, basically Dave's right, but there's all sorts of other things
involved like getting an organisational culture change to make
people share and play nice, and the systems you use to capture
knowledge and all sorts of other stuff and ASK are really good at
it, so someone give us some work so I can stay employed!!
Mr Sphincter 15/1/2002, 16:48
Email
Not Given
Knowledge management. Arse management more like. Tchoh!
dave 15/1/2002, 16:47
Email
Not Given
Isn't that making sure everyone knows where the important stuff
that makes stuff happen in the company is kept... and stuff?
Badger 15/1/2002, 16:27
Email
Not Given
I'm sure you must get this all the time, but what is Knowledge
Management?
Josie 15/1/2002, 16:22
Email
Not Given
I ahve the same problem Badger, but I ended up working in
Cranfield. I've actually now got a new job. I now pretend to know
about knowledge management rather than projects or quality.
Badger 15/1/2002, 16:21
Email
Not Given
o:Email%20Not%20Given" target="_parent">Email
Not Given
Good suggestion Mr P. I have decided to make a full size model of
myself out of toilet rolls to sit at my desk instead of me. I
don't think my boss will notice any kind of downturn in
productivity.
Badger 15/1/2002, 16:18
Email
Not Given
Josie, I have no idea. Never have done. That's how I ended up
working in Slough.
Sion 15/1/2002, 16:12
Email
Not Given
Just come back from the toilet to find it's 4:00. Dave you lied to
me.
dave 15/1/2002, 15:57
Email
Not Given
Go and have a quick sleep in the toilet. You'll soon find it's 5'o
clock.
dave 15/1/2002, 15:57
Email
Not Given
It is Steve French's birthday today though other Steve. Badger,
have you thought about making something out of glue and toilet
rolls to pass the time? If you enjoy that there are other fun
things to do throughout life which don't involve depression,
tedium and mindless boredom.
Josie 15/1/2002, 15:53
Email
Not Given
Poor Badger. What would you rather be doing?
Badger 15/1/2002, 15:53
Email
Not Given
Today is really dragging. Could someone please do something with
my life as I appear to be just wasting it. Yes, it's just another
junior mid-life crisis day in my head today.
Josie 15/1/2002, 15:34
Email
Not Given
But it is nearly my birthday - the 16th of February for anyone
that wants to shower me with gifts.
Sion 15/1/2002, 15:36
Email
Not Given
Josie's isn't the 16th of January either. Who's mucking about with
the birthdays?
Steve 15/1/2002, 15:20
Email
Not Given
Its not my birthday?
dave 15/1/2002, 15:3
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Happy Birthday Steve, long may you rap.
Mr Pedant 14/1/2002, 17:54
Email
Not Given
I am intrigued by the fact that in Dave's story to the right, the
5 Madhatters had to adjust the arms of their jumpers in order to
stay in a haunted house?
Sion 14/1/2002, 17:14
Email
Not Given
'Kent' sounds a bit like..
dave 14/1/2002, 16:56
Email
Not Given
'Surrey' seems to be the hardest word.
dave 14/1/2002, 16:55
Email
Not Given
Zurrey'z full of slackerz.
Josie 14/1/2002, 16:46
Email
Not Given
I'm sooo bored. I'm reading a tender doc from Surrey County
Council who want to make Surrey a 'Better Place to live'. Isn't
that nice. Apparently it's one of the safest and healthiest places
in the country. And we've been trying to persuade everyone to move
up here. How wrong we were!
Unknown Person 14/1/2002, 16:51
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
Josie 14/1/2002, 16:41
Email
Not Given
Oh, no. What did you do instead?
Ken 14/1/2002, 16:44
Email
Not Given
Josie, sadly it was fully booked.
Sion 14/1/2002, 16:25
Email
Not Given
Our quiet rural idyll lacks the excitement of the plug wiring
crowd. Next time anyone is wiring a plug can me and Josie come,
please?
Josie 14/1/2002, 14:44
Email
Not Given
We had a nice weekend, but didn't do anything as exciting as
wiring a plug. Ken - how was the new Jaipur?
Unknown Person 14/1/2002, 14:23
Email
Not Given
Ah the glamourous lifestyle of musicians and writers
dave 14/1/2002, 13:34
Email
Not Given
Oooooooooooo. Dave Wid get your date fixed on your computer.
Lovely. Everyone have a nice weekend. Simon and I wired a plug.
Sion 11/1/2002, 17:37
Email
Not Given
You're just envious liz
Josie 11/1/2002, 17:3
Email
Not Given
How's everyone else's week gone? Mine's been lousy - 2 people got
made redundant. Oh joy oh bliss!
Dave Wid 12/1/2002, 0:35
Email
Not Given
Hmm, just read that back and it sounds a bit gay.
Dave Wid 12/1/2002, 0:35
Email
Not Given
Looks like I'll be there Davey. I'll skip this weekend and do next
week. Now that 'Skiver-Hopes' is at your gaff, am I relegated back
to the sofa bed?
dave 11/1/2002, 15:1
Email
Not Given
Can I just mention that next Friday if you can get to St Albans,
my band 'Love Junkies' will be playing at The Horn. Admission is
£5 and we're on from 11pm-1am. It's also Harv's birthday, plus it
may be the last chance you get to see Mr Burges (who's Birthday it
also is) before he goes to the States.
dave 11/1/2002, 14:59
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I'd frequent it. By the way I'm at home today - cool.
Liz 11/1/2002, 14:58
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What about Sad Geek Reunited for all those that can still do the
Rubiks Cube in 5 minutes.
Sion 11/1/2002, 14:55
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Superb site Ken. I hope to soon see Loners Reunited
kev 11/1/2002, 13:57
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Bullies Reunited: http://www.seethru.co.uk/zine/features/bullies_reunited/index.htm
Josie 11/1/2002, 13:5
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I think that's the best place for a buck to be!
Liz 11/1/2002, 13:2
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What a fantastic idea Sion - Thanks. At present the Buck has not
been passed but has been swept under the carpet.
Sion 11/1/2002, 13:4
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Liz - I know what you could try. Get yourself knocked up and then
have months off as maternity leave. By the time you get back it'll
all have blown over. Clever, eh?
Ken 11/1/2002, 12:37
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Liz- did you sort out your problem at work? Did Dave's link help?
Normal Bloke 11/1/2002, 11:15
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You're weird.
Literal being 10/1/2002, 18:7
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...the wax from a night of passion and depravity...the chip that
fell from my shoulder...the nail marks when I faced the wrong way
in a TV joint...
Lord of the Rings 10/1/2002, 17:44
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Hello Sailor!
Sion 10/1/2002, 16:32
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The Mines of Moria are definitely worth a visit. Feed the Balrog -
weekdays and Saturdays at 5:30, closed sundays for essential
bridge repairs
Ken 10/1/2002, 15:17
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Kath, if you liked Lord of the Rings there will be loads of
exterior locations to see in NZ.
Kath 10/1/2002, 15:4
kathryn.whibley@weightmans.com
Just wanted to gloat that just booked a months holiday to NZ in
March. cool hey! Anyone got any good sightseeing tips?? Also
thinking of coming down to St Albans w/e 16/17 Feb - is anyone
around?
Psi 10/1/2002, 14:36
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I thought it sounded like the language used by the aliens in the
ST:TNG episode 'Darmok' where they communicate in metaphor but
then I decided not to post about it as I would appear very sad...
Oh 'Shaka, when the walls fell'!
Sion 10/1/2002, 14:14
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I like that last one. Bit like a haiku, but more seedy
Literal being 10/1/2002, 12:25
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...my christmas jumper...the beer that slopped down my chin and
into my t-shirt last night...the crumbs from my breakfast toast
this very morn...
Ann Dee 9/1/2002, 17:44
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Whoever it was, it seems his spelling is far from seamless.
I'm a Gherkin 9/1/2002, 17:19
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At Gherkin college we had a Disaster Recovery Plan but as I'm a
Gherkin I couldn't read it.
Simon H 9/1/2002, 17:13
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Our organisation has in fact spent a great deal of time and effort
creating a disaster recovery plan to combat just such a problem as
freak meterorite showerrs or fundamentalist losers flying planes
into buildings. It includes a plastic card that all staff should
carry on their person with a disaster number to call in the event
of a catastrophe. Part of the reason for my resignation was that
my wallet was already too full. Amongst other reasons.......
dave 9/1/2002, 17:5
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Hmmm, who is able to embed HTML links into the page which also
seemlessly appear in a new Browser window? Who has time at his
disposal and is having a largely boring afternoon? Who is the
Unkown Person? Is it Sarge? Is is Rosemary, the receptionist? Is
it Penry, the mild manored Janitor... could be.
Badger 9/1/2002, 17:0
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Oh, and a Happy New Year to Madhatters everywhere. I love the
'Pass the Buck' site. May I enquire who posted that link?
Badger 9/1/2002, 16:58
Email
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That last comment was probably a bit unfair to Mr. Santa. I have
come back to work to find the rumour mill working overtime about
mass redundancies so I may still get the redundancy settlement I
also wanted for Christmas.
Unknown Person's Mum 9/1/2002, 16:58
Email
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Get off that bloody computer. Your tea's nearly ready.
Unknown Person 9/1/2002, 16:57
Email
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You have my deepest sympathy Badger... the only way to beat the
system is to buck the system, speaking of that - have a look at
this Liz. Click
here.
Badger 9/1/2002, 16:51
Email
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Imagine my surprise when I returned to work yesterday to discover
that my office block hadn't been levelled by a devastating meteor
strike over the Christmas holidays. I tell you, that's the last
time I'm writing to santa.
I'm a Gherkin 9/1/2002, 16:49
Email
Not Given
Meaning>: Pass responsibility onto someone else.
Origin: From the card game poker. A buck was a marker that
indicated whose turn it was to deal. Passing the buck moved the
deal onto the next player. Silver dollars were later used as
markers and this may have been the origin of the use of buck as a
slang term for dollar.
Liz 9/1/2002, 16:17
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Moving swiftly away from breasts and gherkins - can anyone tell me
if Sky has a job channel - I have just made a monumental cock up
in a project I'm leading - I think I should get out quickly.
Failing that - any ideas on how to pass the buck?
Literal being 9/1/2002, 15:29
Email
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My breasts...my carefully combed hairs...half a pickled gherkin
from last night's sex frolic in the kebab shop...
Haricot 9/1/2002, 15:11
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Haricot Bean WLTM pulse with GSOH.
Mr Baked Bean 9/1/2002, 14:26
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Hello Liz.... If the python did not scare you then maybe I can!
Sion 9/1/2002, 14:24
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Liz - just wait a couple of months until you've seen every film
Sky has a dozen times each. Oh I'm such a cynic
The Epicure 9/1/2002, 14:19
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Nobody likes gherkins
I'm a Gherkin 9/1/2002, 13:45
gherkin@gherkin.net
I'm a Gherkin. Looking to meet other Gherkin's between 4-8in,
olive green complexion preferred. You should have a lovely 'tang'.
My interests are pickling, slicing and being plucked out of burger
baps by human fingers.
Simon H 9/1/2002, 13:26
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Never mind Lurker - only another 12 working days for you. What are
you reading ?
Simon H 9/1/2002, 13:25
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Please don't - I'm looking forward to parlour games. Do you play
ones such as 'Upstairs or Downstairs' and 'Hide the Sausage' ?
Liz 9/1/2002, 12:56
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Dave - may I say you missed out on a real treat last night -
Python. A wonderful film about a laboratory created 30ft python
which spits acid and can 'run' (?) at 50mph. The special effects
were really quite incredible. May I suggest you subscribe
immediately - we only had ours installed on Saturday - its all
still new and exciting.
Lurker 9/1/2002, 12:53
Email
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Dammit Hopes you have blown my secret spying! Have nothing of
interest really to contribute apart from today I haave been mostly
bored and reading my book under my desk. This afternoon I shall
atempt to perfect my falling asleep sitting behind my computer
screen so no one can tell, until some inconsiderate git phones me
up!! Right now I am going home for lunch and the delights of carot
and corriander soup!!
Josie 9/1/2002, 11:57
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I love you too darling!
Sion 9/1/2002, 12:8
Email
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is there someone else in the house? I'm too busy watching tv to
notice
Josie 9/1/2002, 11:40
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Sion thinks that the house will explode if the tv isn't on. We
don't talk to each other - we just watch TV. That's why we're
still together after nearly 10 years. Hello Sam and Shona
dave 9/1/2002, 11:39
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Have you all got Sky/ ITV Digital then? Am I the only Madhatter
without a digital subscription? You obviously all pay far too much
money for your television. Why don't you wait 10 years and it will
be on BBC2. Caroline and I don't watch any TV, we sit in the
living room playing parlour games.
Chris Evans 9/1/2002, 11:39
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Nick - does Mrs W know about this and should I hide the Star Trek
vids before you come down?
Sad Bastard 9/1/2002, 11:42
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I liked her boobies. And I'm not even a big Boobies fan
Nick W 9/1/2002, 11:25
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Is it wrong of me to fantasise over another species? Last night I
dreamt about the decontamination shower in ENTERPRISE, and found
myself wanting vulcan love. And I'm not even a big Star Trek
fan....
Sion 9/1/2002, 11:9
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Shona, too, is one of those who watch but don't contribute. How
about all those out there who tune in regularly tapping down their
pointless musings like the rest of us. Also what happened to the
likes of Alfred and Dave Wid. It's quiet, too quiet.
Simon H 9/1/2002, 10:23
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Please can Sam - girlfriend of Phil Miller be encouraged to write
something and contribute to the chat. She reads this site everyday
as she is very very bored with her job but has not yet posted
anything. So Sam - start by telling everyone why you hate your
job.
Sion 9/1/2002, 9:21
Email
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Very enjoyable, Ken. But I hate to comment too deeply otherwise
people might think I'm a sad bastard. Which I am.
Monkey Spanker 8/1/2002, 19:12
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Lesbians eh! Can't live with them, can't live without them.
Ken 24/1/2002, 17:43
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Sion, did you see the new series of Star Trek:Enterprise last
night? I thought it was great.
Sion 8/1/2002, 17:7
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Increasingly baffled
Simon H 8/1/2002, 16:55
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I offer Simon.................. Bennett
dave 8/1/2002, 16:34
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Which Simon is offering Simon?
Josie 8/1/2002, 16:7
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I wasn't looking for another husband, but if you're offering
Simon...
Le Burge 8/1/2002, 16:2
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Sure Sion will always be Mr Hughes, irrespective of who the
current Mrs Hughes is? Or is he having that sex change operation
so will soon be Mrs Hughes himself?
Simon H 8/1/2002, 15:30
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Another 15 days to go before I escape - however only 5 days before
I take refuge under the Patrick/Payne's roof !! Why is Sion
talking about being the current Mr Hughes ? Is all not well ? Is
Josie looking for her second husband ?
powderboy 8/1/2002, 15:22
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show me the money
The Current Mr Hughes 8/1/2002, 15:1
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I'm very bored, but you don't hear me banging on about it do you?
dave 8/1/2002, 14:4
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I'm the chairman of the bored.
Josie 8/1/2002, 13:50
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Poor baby. Are you still at work, or have you escaped?
Simon H 8/1/2002, 13:39
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Bored
Josie 8/1/2002, 13:33
Email
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Where is everyone?
Dinosaur 7/1/2002, 18:7
Dino@age-before-beauty.com
Oh to be in work...ho hum...
kev 7/1/2002, 17:54
Email
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only started back at work today! ..some of us were back at work on
boxing day!!!
Ken 7/1/2002, 17:44
Email
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Liz, I didn't get a hangover though...
John 7/1/2002, 16:7
Email
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Have nuns got a union? If they have, it would be a wasted
opportunity if it's not called NUN.
Simon H 7/1/2002, 15:57
Email
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Don't waste your money hiring over-done to death family musicals.
There's a new act in town which would sell out in minutes and
raise Durham to new and greater cultural heights. I am of course
referring to David Wild and Brian Benson in the UK version of the
hit show "Puppetry of the Penis". Only costs £100 a
night - think of the profits on that - if you can keep you lunch
down.
Nick W 7/1/2002, 15:46
Email
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I suppose I kind of enjoy being back at work. Topic for the day -
should I book "Sing-A-Long-A Sound of Music" for my
theatre. £2000, against a 75/25 % split for a 530 capacity. A
rash gamble with tax payer's money - or a sensible investment in
the cultural development of rural County Durham. Discuss.........
p.s. Has anyone got a nun costume I can borrow?
Josie 7/1/2002, 14:41
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Now Liz, that's cruel. It did make midnight - he just didn't make
it with the rest of us.
Liz 7/1/2002, 14:23
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Glad to see you're back at work Ken - maybe now we can discuss who
deserves to be crowned Mr Lightweight 2001. Did anyone else not
make it to Midnight on New Year's Eve?
Ken 7/1/2002, 14:2
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A belated happy new year to one and all. Isn't it great to be back
at work..discuss.
Simon H 7/1/2002, 12:51
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Toot sweets... Toot sweets...
John 4/1/2002, 16:26
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How nice for you Psi, to have such considerate guests at your
party. I had the exact opposite experience - I asked people not to
smoke and the stupid arrogant fuckers went ahead and did it
anyway. By the way, I'm sorry I was too lazy to get out of bed and
help you clear up the following morning.
Unknown Person 4/1/2002, 15:37
Email
Not Given
?
Literal being 4/1/2002, 13:42
Email
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Here is my shirt, my campaign medals and I have just removed that
tattoo below my nipple with a steam iron.
Psi 4/1/2002, 12:48
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As it's pertinent I thought I'd mention how surprised I was that
even though I didn't actually say anything about it at my birthday
party everyone who had to went outside to smoke anyway... in the
snow! The pleasure of fascism is slightly dimmed when you don't
actually have to force people to do your will!
Nick W 4/1/2002, 9:43
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John, I've told you before not to smoke that pipe in public.
Lesley won't like it.
John 4/1/2002, 9:27
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Not bad, although the purity of the celebration was, as ever,
sullied by the twin evils of alcohol and tobacco.
Josie 3/1/2002, 17:11
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Hello John. Did you have a lovely birthday?
John 3/1/2002, 15:18
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I've just looked at the banquet pics...none of Dave Patrick...what
a coincidence. Explain yourself, Patrick. Erm, please, that is.
Josie 3/1/2002, 14:50
Email
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Oh, THAT special pressie. I think that was his number one
favourite Xmas gift - after his bit of moon that is!
Liz 3/1/2002, 14:51
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Don't panic Josie - it was biblical - I think that's fairly safe
Josie 3/1/2002, 14:43
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Hello. It's cold in Cranfield this afternoon, and I feel sick from
eating too many chocolates. And I'm getting a cold. Liz - I'm not
sure about Sion getting special pressies from you, you know how
over excited he gets!!
Liz 3/1/2002, 14:11
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Sion - I do hope you haven't forgotten about the very special
pressie that I bought you.
Sion 3/1/2002, 13:46
Email
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Ta very much, all donations gratefully received. I'm in the market
for a spiral galaxy if anyone has a spare.
Anonymous cynical Humbug 3/1/2002, 13:17
Email
Not Given
Sion, as I didn't give you a present, I hereby hand over to you
the red spot on the planet Jupiter, the cores of its moons Io and
Ganymede and both of Simon Bennett's cars, to go with your acre of
Moon. Of course, I don't own any of these things, but what could
that possibly matter?
Dinosaur 3/1/2002, 12:26
Dino@age-before-beauty.com
Drollful New Year...like Simon H, I hope for a new job this year,
and for the chat to continue working uninterrupted so that all my
wonderful prose is forever held in perpituity (and that's a very
long time!).
Josie 3/1/2002, 11:41
Email
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Well, your baby arrives in April, so we could celebrate that? Are
you around this weekend Smiths?
Liz 3/1/2002, 11:42
Email
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If we're really clever we could have one celebration a month -
Gary is finishing work in January, you in Feb and me in March -
Anyone for April?
Simon H 2/1/2002, 16:27
Email
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Happy New Year everyone. Thanks to Psi for a great party. I
particularly enjoyed my police escort off Canvey Island - which
was great as we took a wrong turn somewhere and they showed me the
way back to the M25. In fact I was just starting to see the beauty
of 'The Island' when the Police Officer (after breathalising me)
told me the reason for stopping me was that he couldn't understand
"why on earth anyone from South West London would be on
Canvey Island". Never mind eh ! So... how many marriages and
births have we got this year. Please remember that now I am
unemployed I won't be at all offended if you don't invite me
(unless we can arrive at a no gift arrangement). Speaking of
which, does anyone want to take Friday 1st February off and join a
bit of a London based celebration ? A number of us are meeting in
town at lunch to drink, be merry and go for a drunken ramble
around the Tate Modern or something like that to celebrate the
first day of our mid-life crisis. Phil, Sam, Gary, myself, Roger
Coles and others will be taking part - come and join us !!
Sion 2/1/2002, 15:44
Email
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Who'd have thought we both had exactly the same dream?
dave 2/1/2002, 14:56
Email
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No I did, honest. Anyway happy new splendid 2002. I don't know
about anyone else but my back aches. I was in Devon over Xmas
though the two are not necessarily related. Have you wondered what
might happen if everyone's wishes come true - surely some of them
would cancel each other out? If your dreams come true I'm in real
trouble - I'll end up running through a marshamallow field being
chased by a giant 'Iron' with frog's legs. Hmmm. Let's hope
there's a dream monitor out there who discards your really silly
ones. And on that thought... I'm off.
Liz 2/1/2002, 14:30
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Very funny - I'm afraid I haven't yet turned my brain on after a
rather delightful Christmas break.
dave 2/1/2002, 14:14
Email
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I got an FM radio with an 'aerial'.
Josie 2/1/2002, 13:39
Email
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Sion - you mean get off our land
Sion 2/1/2002, 13:52
Email
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I got an acre of Moon from secret santa. Get off my land!!
Liz 2/1/2002, 13:41
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Shona - thanks for great party. How did you get Simon to spend all
evening creating in the kitchen - he doesn't even know where the
kitchen is at home! As for your new ariel decoration - I think the
finger has to point at Oly.
Josie 2/1/2002, 13:5
Email
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Did anyone get any fun stuff for Christmas? Isn't it horrid to be
back at work!
Shona 2/1/2002, 12:41
Email
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Thanks to everyone that came on New Years Eve - if you'll pardon
the expression! Particular thanks to Chris and Simon for their
efforts in the kitchen, it was amazing what they managed with
liquidiser, several umbrellas, even more cocktail sausages and
some glace cherries! I've just one question - what happened to my
suger bowl? Oh, and can anyone explain why I have the fairy cake
and umbrella dangling from my arial? On another note - any
exciting / inspiring New Year's resolutions, or are we all going
for the annual get fit, learn to scuba dive, colonise the Moon etc
Ann Dee 2/1/2002, 12:34
Email
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You've not lost the Christmas presents I sent you already have you
Sion?
Sion 2/1/2002, 12:26
Email
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Thanks to Psi and Pshona for a couple of great parties over the
holiday. Happy birthday/xmas/new year to anyone I missed. Psi -
sorry about the cat wee. 2002, eh? - where's my flying car and
robot butler then?
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