Ann Dee 30/10/100, 15:8
Email Not Given
I'm back, but only to ask where you got the idea of an online poll Mr Patrick. Been to any Sunday Morning (no offence Honey but some of us have lives to lead on Sunday mornings) Pub football team websites recently. If you'd like to know about the administration system and how to put new polls up yourself just let me know. Also they also have the facility for those with email but no internet access at work to receive emails of the latest contributions, another added value product for the Madhatters sitre perchance? Ever get the feelig that a mouthy midfielder might know more than you about this website stuff?

dave 30/10/2000, 14:21
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I must say, I did have my suspicions about you Nick. Torquay, pah! You've moved to bloody Lapland haven't you... and I bet Bill Croome and Chris Evans are working for you as Elves. Although you'd probably have sacked Chris by now. Anyway, I have another point. I feel that the chat participance on this site has been a little lacklustre of late. Obviously the banter is still flowing but not as fluidliy as it should be. What has happened to 'Ann Dee'? Where is 'The Ranter', why has he not been insulted by 'The Insulter' and why is Chris Hanham too scared to post anything up on this site. For a man who generally has a lot too say, it's quite frankly not good enough. I don't care it you can't even string two words together do not listen in, in silence. I mean christ (sorry Honey), even 'jason' - see 25/10 had the decency to at least explain that he was looking for Sexy Women on the site. Come on - let's prove once and for all that this site isn't just frequented by 4 or 5 people. Let's hit the dizzy heights of 6 or more...

St. Nick 30/10/2000, 12:3
north.pole.lap
I've got a busy night planned for the 24th. Despite my plans, there still seem to be an awful lot of children who won't stop being nice.

dave 30/10/2000, 11:57
Email Not Given
Sorry Nick, I'll get around to it one of these moments... at this point I'm reminded that a web site is for life not just for Christmas. Speaking of Christmas - is anyone doing anything? Granted the question is a bit vague but I'd be interested to hear everyone's plans.

Nick 30/10/2000, 11:39
Email Not Given
Dave - Where's the Polling Station? I've been campaining all weekend and am ready to cast my vote on the referendum of the decade, as promised last week. But where do I vote?

dave 30/10/2000, 11:9
dave
How does this work? Hmmm, where to begin. Er, you type something and then you are ignored unless it is worthy of comment, so in actual fact your comment of 'How does this work???' seems to be spot-on in this respect. OK, I will now post this message as a reply and will fire back the following as a repost, 'How do you want it to work???' You can now either reply or scuttle off with your tail between your legs. These interactions between two people are known as 'conversations' and are the bedrock of any chat site.

Unknown Person 30/10/2000, 10:42
Email Not Given
how does this work???

caz 30/10/2000, 10:41
boy_crazy_4eva@hotmail.com
hello everyone. im female, 16 from uk. im intrested in older men, but not that old, no older than 30. i have other intrests 2 but u will have 2 wait 2 no about them!!!

GOD 28/10/2000, 13:15
bigboss@heaven.com
I AM THE LORD. THE CREATOR. HONEST. YOU CAN TELL THAT I REALLY AM GOD AS I SPEAK IN CAPITAL LETTERS. SO LISTEN. ALRIGHT? OK. HONEY, I SPEAKETH TO YOU. i HAVE JUST ONE THING TO SAY, IN THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, NO GINGERS ALLOWED.

Psi 28/10/2000, 0:15
Email Not Given
Dave, why does the breaking news section use Yank dates? Get it sorted.

dave 27/10/100, 20:29
dave.patrick, etc...
So, this fascination with Devon and Trago Mills - has it gone to far? YOU decide when I introduce a poll on this site next week. Thank you Simon for your kind article - it really was only a matter of time before my past came back to haunt me. Have a great weekend everyone. Oh and Honey, try to stay out of church.

simon H 27/10/2000, 12:57
Email Not Given
Oh, and check out www.amihotornot.com for a real laugh. You have to rank each person in order to move on. Minutes of fun here.

Simon H. 27/10/2000, 12:48
Email Not Given
I am currently suffering from a hangover spawned from Satan's backside after I attended 'The Donkey Show' last night at the Hanover Grand club off Regent Street in London, England. For those who haven't heard of this latest offspin of the Car Wash/Starsky & Hutch 70's revival, there is a small cast of scantily clad men and women who perform 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' but replace all Shakespearean dialogue with 70's disco records. They perform on movable stages, platforms, and in the middle of the audience. Absolutely stunning with a huge twist at the end which I won't tell you about. I am ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY going again as it is a truly fantastic thing to watch. Let me know if you want to come along.

Oh, and all this talk of Trago Mills has caused me to write an article for the Breaking News Section. Have a look if you want to learn more about a major Devonshire attraction.

Chris Evans 27/10/2000, 11:31
Email Not Given
Ken, I will indeed be at Vicarage Road on Tuesday night. Mobile's working again now. Slight problem with leaving it in All Bar One for several hours.

The Ranter 27/10/2000, 11:11
ack@ack.com

I can do this wierd plasma thingie:

Ken 26/10/2000, 17:55
Email Not Given
Guilty as charged my Mayor Wiggins of Torquay....no I do not have a photo of Trago Mills, but I am intending to make a pilgrimage for Friday 10th Nov in the afternoon, so anyone interested in coming to visit the hallowed ground see you there for about 2pm. Chris your mobile is not working....but I am up for seeing Watford Vs Man United on Tuesday.... what about you Roughty?

Chris Evans 26/10/2000, 16:21
Email Not Given
Talking about new jobs...yep, I've done it again. Lasted 3 1/2 months this time. Think that's a record even for me. Ken don't you have a photo of Trago Mills to go with the rest of the ones you've put up?

Nick Wiggins 26/10/2000, 14:37
Nick.Wiggins@torbay.gov.uk
Me thinks Mr Rodrigues has been playing with his scanner....

heaven 26/10/100, 11:33
jill.ablet@talk21.com
hello

Simon Hopes 26/10/2000, 10:10
Email Not Given
Actually, Jason has a point - have you noticed (or correct me if I'm wrong), but is this chat facility predominantly used by male madhatters ? In fact, there have been only two female entries in the last month - unless the ranter is a girl or David Wild has had those hormone implants he was telling me about last time I saw him. David P. - perhaps we could entice women onto the site with a 'ladies corner' section with stuff about bras and Mel Gibson etc.

jason 25/10/2000, 14:43
jasonroy@lineone.net
ANY SEXY WOMEN HERE

jason 25/10/2000, 14:42
JASON@JASONROY.KAROO.CO.UK
Nothing said.

zd 25/10/2000, 21:31
zanydude@hotmail.com
Hey funksters, howz about we get this chat cookin'...no, only joking, it's John Wyatt here with some me news. I've bagged a job as a sub-editor at The News, Portsmouth's evening newspaper, which I will be starting on Nov 20. Cue a fresh round of funny local paper jokes. And I'm feeling a bit poorly at the moment, so could somebody pop round with some sympathy and a mug of Ovaltine? Ta.

Nick Wiggins 25/10/2000, 13:19
Nick.Wiggins@torbay.gov.uk
For those of you wishing to relocate to sunny South Devon, may be interested in the job vacancies advertised in today's Herald Express and Western Morning News. Sales Assistants required for Trago Mills. £4.55/hour + pension I'll have you know. Details also on www.fish4.co.uk and search for trago. What more could a man want? An estabished career with a global retailer of tat. I've got my application in. P.S. Now working on a new song - "How much is that tat in the window? Lets all join the Trago trail..."

bigbollox 24/10/2000, 19:13
biggerbollox@yahoo.com
hello

Adrian S 24/10/2000, 18:16
Email Not Given
Will Madhatters be organising a day trip to Trago Mils? If so please book me in. Having just moved I have had to sell my paperclips, I am now in a position to buy again (I can't wait). I've also found it difficult to find a bamboo two seater in Aztec finish, although I'm unsure how I'll fit these on the back of my scooter. Can any-one help?

Epileptic 24/10/2000, 17:59
Email Not Given
Warning flashing signs may cause nausea in certian individuals. Especially Trago Mills signs

Simon H. 24/10/2000, 17:43
Email Not Given
I wanted to do that

dave 24/10/2000, 16:22
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Can anyone else do this?

dave 24/10/2000, 16:20
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I believe in the Church of Trago, the Lord of Bargains and the Holy Spirit of pointless tat. All for under a £.

dave 24/10/2000, 16:19
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Uh, oh. God botherer, watch out...

Honey 24/10/2000, 14:38
me again
For a real giggle view my last message under the Jesusifier....very amusing!!!!!

Honey 24/10/2000, 14:35
honeyinhull@ic24.net
Speaking of suprises....Hi all! I wanted to tell you all that I have had a dramatic conversion to Christianity....Now pick your jaws up....I certainly don't want to spoil this wonderfully funny chat site by talking about anything serious....but I just wanted to let you know (as I know some of you have been really good friends and may be pleased for me...) that I am so happy....happier than I have ever been in all my life even under the influence of all sorts of substances and I just felt the need to anounce it. I hope this doesn't offend or upset anyone and I hope you are all well and happy with life. This is very hard for me to do and very embarassing but you know when you just feel you have to do something....well, it's done now and I shall bugger off and feel silly! Love to all xxx Honey

The 'Song for Trago Mills' Commision 24/10/2000, 14:20
www.trago.co.uk
We at Trago Mills are all very excited by the news of further entries to the 'Song for Trago Mills' contest. The best of luck to all our contestants.

Simon H. 24/10/2000, 13:41
Email Not Given
For those of you who don't know about it, go to www.trago.co.uk and you're in for a big surprise !

Dave 24/10/2000, 13:30
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Nick - sounds pretty good. It proves that a high standard of entry even during this early 'creative phase' is apparent. I for one am looking to pay homage to the Mighty Mills in my tribute song entitled 'R Goat' - an anagramatic melodic tome set to the tune of Roy Orbison's 'Pretty Woman'.

FUNKY FEMALE 2K 24/10/2000, 10:37
Email Not Given
Hiya room wotsuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!!!!!!!

FUNKY FEMALE 2K 24/10/2000, 10:36
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

Nick Wiggins 23/10/2000, 20:32
Nick.Wiggins@torbay.gov.uk
Can I suggest everyone views this page in "Swedish Chef" dialect - available through the Cockney link on the news page. It kindof puts everything in perspective - in particular the Insulter and Ranter. I am currently preparing my Song For Trago. My Working Title is "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, a barbeque, 40 square foot of lino, and three litres of terracota emulsion."

Unknown Person 23/10/2000, 17:14
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

hayley 23/10/2000, 17:14
Email Not Given
wazzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

hayley 23/10/2000, 17:13
Email Not Given
wazzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dave 23/10/2000, 14:37
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Cheers Julian for your show news- bad timing for a lot of people as they are at the Banquet, but may be able to come. Nicki - you're right we are groovy... Badger is the coolest with his new 'Song For Trago'.

Nicki 21/10/2000, 22:7
nicki-paget@supanet.com
Hiya Dudes. Howya doing? You sound groovy to me. Do you wanna chat to me or wot??

anna riley 19/10/2000, 21:9
jestersrileaz@supanet.com
hello

Ken 19/10/2000, 16:44
Email Not Given
Mr Hopes, do you still only want to do just tv & film? Can I tempt you into the commercials market?

The Ranter 19/10/2000, 16:21
ack@ack.com

Colour is the new black and white, or something 

Simon H 19/10/2000, 16:2
Email Not Given
Preferably not until I have a budget of no less than £1,000,000 and the backing of Miramax.

Ken 19/10/2000, 12:4
Email Not Given
Hear, Hear Davey Pee all this hate going around.. why!?. Si H, can't wait to see your celluloid masterpieces next year..and best of luck to Gaz & Steve French with the latest UAC project. P.S. When are you directing the next Hopesian classic?

Simon H. 19/10/2000, 11:19
Email Not Given
Well at least I can now reveal the true identity of the Insulter after leaving a big clue in his last insult. Answers on a postcard to ............

Unknown Person 18/10/2000, 22:41
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

dave 18/10/2000, 18:2
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Listen guys, I mean come on, let's just get along. Love breeds love, hate breeds hate. Rabbits breed more rabbits. I must admit though I am rather taken with The Ranter's new colourful postings. Thanks Badger for your new posting in the News section. I wish you success with your new Marketing Monthly. Maybe you could get the Ranter and The Insulter to write a column?

The Ranter 18/10/2000, 17:16
ack@ack.com

 ROTFLMAO

The Insulter 18/10/2000, 16:57
Email Not Given
PS Ranter, you're a pr*ck

The Insulter 18/10/2000, 16:53
Email Not Given
Just who th f*ck do yo think you are big-nose. I'll tell you what, God's gift to feckin everything. Well let me tell you something YOU'RE WORTHLESS, YOUR AS WORTHLESS AS A SCRATCHED HEART LP, AS WORTHLESS AS A RABBIT IN A HAMMOCK CAR ORNAMENT, AS WORTHLESS AS BRIAN HOWLETT. YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN THE BLOOD IN A SENILE TRAMPS SH*T. KNOW YOUR PLACE HOPES.

The Ranter 18/10/2000, 16:28
Email Not Given

 Oops, double post. Never mind

The Ranter 18/10/2000, 16:25
Ack@ack.com

 No.

The Ranter 18/10/2000, 16:25
Ack@ack.com

 No.

Simon H. 18/10/2000, 16:17
Email Not Given
Ranter - have you ever thought of injecting some humour into your rants so they become more readable ?

Simon H. 18/10/2000, 16:16
Email Not Given
Insulter - Tthere's a big difference between deterring would-be non-madhatter chatters and being a complete c*nt.

The Ranter 18/10/2000, 14:21
ack@ack.com

My word, what a lot of bile there is on the esteemed pages of Madhatter today. If there's one thing I can't stand it's bile. Bile when it's inside ones digestive tract is extremely useful, it helps breakdown all that fat we westerners eat. But bile when it's out of the stomach, bletch. It smells, it's pungent and it's misuse is highly provocative. I was on the receiving end of some Train Bile this morning when some tw*t objected to my attempts to actually get on the Train and called me a "f*cking w*nker". I retorted by elbowing him squarely in the jaw and pushing him off the train and treading on his Gucci briefcase. "whos the w*nker now?" I retorted.

Bile, there's no place for it out side of lipid digestion. Keep it in.

Rant over.

Les Dennis 18/10/2000, 14:19
les@sadandpredictable.com
Yes, lets have a mass-debate!

Matt B 18/10/2000, 13:30
HaHa@ha.com
I think that Michael touched a nerve with the previous 'chatter', Perhaps this should be called a debate forum to prevent stupid people who think this is a chat forum! huh

The Insulter 18/10/2000, 12:47
gettingprogressivelymoreupset@chattyidiots.com
What the hell is going on!!!! Please stop leaving hopelessly irrelavent messages. This is getting beyond a joke. Who cares about you Micheal, you spotty little tosser. At this rate all your gonna do is get date raped and murdered by by an 18st middleaged fudgepacker posing as 'Sloughgirl_15'. You'd like that wouldn't you c0ck stain. Well you know what I'd say - good ridance - one less fool in the world to worry about cluttering up this page with inane BS. Now feck off.

Michael 18/10/100, 11:21
mike_da_man@talk21.com
Is there any point in dating??? I'm sick and tired of being messed around by women!!!I'm not bitter it's just really annoying!!E-mail me with your opinions about guys/girls messing u about!! Michael from Livingston in Scotland

Simon H 18/10/2000, 10:14
Email Not Given
Wasn't 'Howlett' one of Brian Benson's pseudonyms.

Dave Wid 18/10/2000, 10:2
Email Not Given
Please tell me Brian Howlett was joking. It was one of you guys......right?

ray g 18/10/2000, 3:45
rayg'iol.ie
hello

Unknown Person 17/10/2000, 22:32
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

nay 17/10/2000, 21:59
Email Not Given
hi

naomi 17/10/2000, 21:59
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

starkey 17/10/2000, 20:0
pcdl27444@cableinet.co.uk
any one wanna chat

Brian Howlett 17/10/2000, 19:42
brianh@teenchat.com
Hey there you crazy guys. I'm a 14m looking for a good hard rimming. Would anyone like to talk to me?

dave 17/10/2000, 17:42
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Er... is it peas?

Simon H. 17/10/2000, 17:22
Email Not Given
Speaking of which.... if there's one thing I'm looking forward to at this banquet reunion weekend, it's seeing good old David Wild again. I can't begin to count the times I've thought about and missed that cheery smile and slightly hit or miss sense of humour. In fact, I'm so sure that the presence of David Wild will be a pivotal part of the weekend's proceedings, that I've decided to run a small competition. Just answer this rather tricky 'Wild Question' and the lucky winner will get to spend three hours underneath David Wild himself in a venue of their own choice:

Q: "David Wild has has had a tattoo removed from his armpit. Can you tell me what his armpit usually smells of ?"

Simon H. 17/10/2000, 16:34
Email Not Given
Dear Dr Cunni1ingus

I am having a great deal of trouble bringing my pets to climax through oral stimulation. Is there something I am doing wrong ?

Troy Mclure 17/10/2000, 11:18
Troy@springfield.net
Hello everyone. My name is Troy Mclure and you may remember me from such classic health and safety films as 'Mind that stapler' and 'Don't do things that might irritate your inner ear'. Recently I wrote to you to tell you about my experiences with new Campino 'Strawberries and Cream' boiled sweets. In the interest of public satefy I have now also sampled the alternate variety, 'Oranges and Cream'. It is with great regret that I must report that this variety of Campino confectionery also tasted like someone had shot their load right into the back of my mouth. However, this time there was at least a slight tinge of orange to the taste sensation. Buyers beware, and stay tuned for more consumer reporting. If you have any consumer nightmare stories to tell, please write to me at the above ficticious address.

WOOLY 17/10/2000, 0:23
S.WOOLRIDGE@NTLWORLD.CO.UK
HELLO VIEWERS

RH@boyz in the hood 16/10/2000, 22:13
Email Not Given
A message to the Fat Sheriff of Nottingham, see you at Tintagel Castle, Saturday 11th November about 3.00. If you have any mates bring them along......yours faithfully RH

Tevin Neegan 13/10/2000, 20:45
tevin@virtualdoley.arse
I've just noticed that the number of days left to the banguet = the age of demon right back Dave Wid.PS Does anyone know where I can find International Superstar Soccer Social Security.

Dave Wid 13/10/2000, 20:41
or_am_I@drunk.com
I just wanted to say that I wasnt wanking a cat, I was milking it. MMmmmMMMM nice on the old sugar puffs, cats milk. Oh and while we're on the subject (of impersonating people, not m*sturbating household pets) I am in fact not me but someone else entirely.......or am I......maybe...yes,no, what tiddley dum da HOT MILK FROM CATS MAKES ME HORNY. PS May I give my commiserations to retired England coach and old boss Tevin Neegan.

The Ranter 13/10/2000, 17:37
ack@ack.ack

Well I'm still me

dave 13/10/2000, 17:22
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Would the real 'Slim Davey' please stand up? OK this impersonation thing is a bit below the belt. Now stop it or I shall be forced to give you all passwords - and I don't know how to do that.

Simon Hopes 13/10/2000, 17:17
Email Not Given
It's totally not cricket to impersonate people on this chat site, whoever just added that I wank cats. I do, but that is for me to disclose and no-one else David Wild.

The Ranter 13/10/2000, 14:30
ack

EGG

David Hasselhof 13/10/2000, 14:19
david@hasselhof.com
Do not use the lord's name in vain. I will reap a mighty revenge on those who scorn me and my mullet, and my talking car. I am better than T.J.Hooker. And I've met Heather Locklear, so there.

Simon Hopes 13/10/2000, 14:17
si@isbored
Yes, me too

Dave Wild 13/10/2000, 14:16
iam@notfunny.cum
I wank cats

dave 13/10/2000, 14:16
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com

EGG

The Ranter 13/10/2000, 13:55
ack
By "pointless levels of nonesense" I mean government and corporate bull, not website posting wierdness. Chat site posting wierdness is to be encouraged. EGG!

The Ranter 13/10/2000, 13:50
ack@ack.com
The Ranter provides topics for conversation. You can either get riled by what I say, ignore me or engage in an interesting dialogue over these topics, but I won't go away! I am just as happy as everybody else to see Dave Ps milk stained David Hasselhoff, but when it comes to it, I just get a bit frustrated with the pointless levels of nonsense that we are constantly expected to accept as the norm and want to air it. At least I don't post "Any1 wan2 chat" and all that rubbish!

Simon Hopes 13/10/2000, 13:2
Email Not Given
Oh.... and by the way - David Patrick has a Playgirl center-fold of David Hasselfoff touching himself in his bottom right hand desk drawer at home. It is quite old and has some milk stains on it which David tells me was when his cat jumped up and knocked a pint over.

Simon Hopes 13/10/2000, 12:57
Email Not Given
If anyone has any pictures of Heather Locklear when she was in TV's 'The Fall Guy' (with Lee Majors) with her legs akimbo, I would also pay for that.

Davey P 13/10/2000, 12:15
old@oldfart.com
oooo yes (mince) and how about a picture of that nice David Hasselhoff ooooo (mince) oooooo (mince, mince, mince) he started my growing interest in twats.

Philly 13/10/2000, 11:27
somewhere in the south west
Quite agree Herr Hopes. Lets oust these unknowing types with calls of 'Swinging Barmaids', 'Scalextic shithead', 'The Boyfriend performed in front of the Notre Dame' and of course 'egg!' etc. etc..... And how about a piccy of Charlie's Angels while someones at it.. as it were.

Simon H. 13/10/2000, 11:0
yokoono.com
I think this chat facility has become way too angry and political and propose we revert back to the old days of good old fashioned Hatfield obscure reference fun. Which is why I vote for more pictures of seventies cult sex symbols. In fact, could someone please post a picture of Wonderwoman, which was, as far as I can remember, is what started my growing interest in breasts. I would pay for this.

lola 12/10/2000, 23:44
jason@english.fsnet.co.uk
hello is there anybody out there

Kevin 12/10/2000, 22:51
kevin@taverner.co.uk
As an employee of a Time Warner owned company, I can't comment on the stupid DVD region system ;)

Bouddicca 12/10/2000, 19:59
bouddina@yahoo.de
Nothing said.

Unknown Person 12/10/2000, 19:58
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

dave 12/10/2000, 17:0
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Er... ha, ha. Quite.

The Ranter 12/10/2000, 15:19
ack@ackaak.ack
CJD - it's all bull-shit (literally!). In a 2 year study, the government funded Progressive Intellectual and Neurological Deterioration (PIND) study, 885 patients have been reported with suspected PIND, including two fatal cases of definitive vCJD and one probable case. One of the cases was a 12-year-old girl. So far no other children have been identified with the clinical symptoms of vCJD. Clinicians who make up the PIND study group have discussed 655 cases and 360 have been categorised into 88 known neurodegenerative diseases. What did the study Conclude? Well, instead of taking the logical conclusion that CJD is NOT an emerging epidemic and the mass destruction of our nations entire beef farming industry was "harsh", they've concluded that "CJD may have a longer incubation time than previously thought" and that the study, along with the BSE measures must continue. CR*P! There is no CJD epidemic - it's all media induced health-care hype! People, do not belive the Health Nazis. Rant over.

The Ranter 10/10/2000, 12:38
ack.ack@ack!
I have had a tendancy to be a bit overly technical in my recent diatribes, for which I apologise :-) However, Time Warner? B'ah. Oh and the other thing- Star Wars triliogy is being re-released in time for christmas, not on DVD though, on fusty old VHS. Oi, Lucas, NO!

dave p 10/10/2000, 11:51
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
A very astute rant, Mr Ranter. Although it will go over the heads of most people and be put down as a particularly 'nerdy' rant, as a DVD owner myself I would like to heartily endorse your statements. Oi! Time Warner, Feck Off.

The Ranter 10/10/2000, 9:45
Ack@ack.com
Bloody Time Warner. They're about to physically alter DVDs so that people who modify their players to be region free are no longer able to play discs from outside of their region. Here is a summary of their not exactly well published press release " Warner's enhancement "allows the disc to detect if a hardware player is region specific (as required by the CSS licensing agreement), or if it has been manufactured or altered in the market to be 'region free'. If the player is 'region free' the [Region Code Enhancement] will not allow the disc to play the program material. It will instead display a message on the television advising the consumer that the machine is not authorised to play this disc", says the leaked memo. "Warner will start applying the RCE to discs scheduled for release in the US market beginning in late October. At this time, the RCE will only be applied to Region 1 versions of titles. At least one other studio (Columbia TriStar) will also be releasing discs with the RCE during the fourth quarter." The document continues: "It is especially important to focus on retailers selling product online, and any account, which may be exporting products outside region one. "With the online retailers, we must discuss the need to properly notify consumers outside the region one territories that the disc may not play in their player before the disc is purchased. The customer dissatisfaction and returns risk is significant if this is not done." In other words, Warner knows all too well such a move will piss users off, which is probably why "there is no plan to send out a press release on this program". Oi, Warner, NO. The DVD region system is blatant market manipulation and serves no real purpose except to increase your already bloated profits. Feck off.

Unknown Person 10/10/2000, 4:58
Email Not Given
hello all you non - sleepers!

dave 9/10/2000, 23:3
daveyp
Please do, Jen and while your at it, come back with a topical conversation for us all.

Jen 9/10/2000, 21:1
Email Not Given
virgin visit....might even try it again!!

Frank 9/10/2000, 16:24
Frank@IamFrank.co.uk
To be Frank........

bill 9/10/2000, 16:23
Email Not Given
hello, hello, hello. What it is all of this then?

dave p 9/10/2000, 15:51
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Ann Dee - it's interesting to see the comment from STEVEO below. I wasn't aware he was into Britney Spears - do you think Ruth knows? Sorry Matt, I'm not clever enough to dicuss. By the way has anyone tried the Search section yet? It's quite dull.

Matt B 9/10/2000, 15:34
Email Not Given
Yes, I would agree a little bit of a weak ending. I think it is a general trend of the modern Hollywood filmmakers who tend to 'write from a standard script' mindless I say, Discuss...

Andrew Tillson-Willis 9/10/2000, 15:28
95.tillsoa@thechasetc.org.uk
Nothing said.

dave 9/10/2000, 15:23
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Er, hello Matthew, ow be going there? Enjoyed 'Final Destination' last night - did think the ending was a bit meek though, and bleak and weak. Any other Hatters want to chat? Perhaps you can post up a non taxing question about stuff?

Bo 9/10/2000, 15:15
Email Not Given
Yo peeps, hope you are all fab and groovy, just wanted to say heelloooooo to whoever is out there whoever you may be!

Matt B 9/10/2000, 14:57
mbelton@newellwf.co.uk
Ta mate, how you doin? Any pontential of seeing you tonight - I've just come onto you on the web - urghhh

Ann Dee 9/10/100, 14:29
Email Not Given
Hello Mr Belton, welcome to the site and thanks for contributing in your own psuedo-anonymous way.

STEVEO 9/10/2000, 14:19
218288@GLOSCAT.AC.UK
HI PEOPLE I MUST SAY BRITNEY SPEARS LOOKED MIGHTY FINE ON THE MTV MUSIC AWARDS WHAT DO YOU THINK

STEVEO 9/10/2000, 14:17
218288@GLOSCAT.AC.UK
HI PEOPLE

Ooh Missus 9/10/2000, 14:3
Oh.Ello@missus
Well Blimey. I must say this is a tremendously interesting website, all you lovely people putting your tupence ha'penny worth - have you seen it!

dave 9/10/2000, 11:35
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Just take this opportunity to say thanks to Justin and Liz for a great joint 30th party on Saturday. As usual Justin was far too organised and the event ended with clinical precision in a karaoke rendition of Perfect Day, but he still managed to find time to dance. Good man and thanks again guys!

sexi gal 7/10/2000, 21:20
Email Not Given
any lads out there wanna chat

tess 8/10/2000, 12:21
Email Not Given
hello people hows it going?what the heck are you talkin about wank stains for aint u got nowt better

dave 6/10/2000, 16:39
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Surely that should be English Wank Stains? However as stains are unable to be wanked, this poses an interesting dilemma. Are you perhaps referring to Staines in Middlesex, and the fact that the populus have 'executive relief' from the rest of the country? Or do you feel that wankstains is indeed a word that should be added to the New Oxford English Dictionary. No, thought not. Perhaps you are referring to Wank Stein, the popular German Snow boarder and Scientist? Whatever, thanks for an interesting discussion.

Unknown Person 6/10/100, 15:51
Email Not Given
english wankstains

DANDY 6/10/100, 15:49
hollyfulton@hotmail.com
yo wassup

Ann Dee 6/10/100, 15:8
Email Not Given
What is occurring with these individuals thinking this is a live chat site. I mean, really, have they not looked at the message times of previous contributors, IT DOESN'T HAPPEN ALL THE TIME FECKWITS!!!! Anyhoo, just had a beer with the venerablt Mr Slinger, he's up for it and looking forward to Cornwall. By the way, I told him, so best not keep it a secret, bring your own tights. Unless you have a penchant for second hand smelly ones. Black, wooly numbers are recommended, both aesthetically and for warmth reasons.

ace_parinoid 6/10/2000, 14:34
rextoyou@hotmail.com
yo yo yo

Kirstie Peters 6/10/2000, 14:40
kirstiep@teenchat.com
would any nice boyz wanna chat?

Kirstie Peters 6/10/2000, 14:35
kirstiep@teenchat.com
Is anybody out there who would like a chat?

Kirstie Peters 6/10/2000, 14:31
kirstiep@teenchat.com
Hello i'm 14 years old and looking for a chat

The Ranter 6/10/2000, 10:49
acccccck!
So, Freeserve are to "punish" users of their unmetered internet access who "abuse the service by overuse". In a statement they said that "users who are surfing for more than 16 hours a day will be expelled from Freeserve". Excuse me? They offer Unmetered unlimited internet access and then they threaten to ban you if you use it? Oi, Freeserve, NO. Sorry, Rant over

Adrian 6/10/2000, 10:2
Pink Floyd
Is anybody out there

The Melancholy one 5/10/100, 17:37
Email Not Given
I can't be bothered, why should I write anything interesting it's all so pointless. I mean, of course I'm looking forward to the Wet Bank but is it likely to be all that it's cracked up to be? Probably for most, but for me, well, I doubt it somehow.

Dave Wid 5/10/2000, 16:25
Email Not Given
......and how about some movie masterpieces in an on-line format. I am sure there other video masterpieces (Nic with the wheelbarrow, the men with no bottoms, people dissapearing in trees, behind trees etc.) Oh the fond memories. C'mon Davey P, hassle old Mr Flute for his UHDS video archives. PS Please don't hassle Mr Haver for his video archives. Those that did survive Mr Bensons viewing and over zealous use of 'Re-wind' and 'Freeze Frame' are definately not suitable for this site.

Ken 5/10/2000, 16:17
Email Not Given
Dave, I think it's fantastic all the work you are putting in, hopefully once the wedding is out of the way I have afew ideas which i'd like to organise. However having just read the Nic McMahon masterpiece, is there any chance of getting the great man's legendary "Farmer B******d" gig from Wales 1994 onto the audio website.

dave p 5/10/2000, 12:56
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I have to agree with you Ranter on the petrol issue.

The Charlatans 5/10/2000, 12:18
ourkeyboardplayers@in.heaven
Hey, Country Boy......

The Ranter 5/10/2000, 11:56
ack@ack.ack
Ok - the price of oil has fallen to below 30 dollars a barrel now, a fall of 15%. So, will petrol prices fall now? Will they boll*cks. We're being RIPPED OFF. If it's not the stinking government it's the stinking filthy oil companies. They're all too keen to raise prices but they never bloody cut prices do they? Charlatans, vagabonds, unadulterated daylight robbery. B'ah. Sorry, rant over

dave p 5/10/2000, 11:53
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Well, more sad than funny. But entertaining nonetheless.

dave p 5/10/2000, 11:52
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Can I just draw your attention to the fact that there is some new stuff in the audio section. Go and have a listen to it 'cos its funny.

The Ranter 5/10/2000, 9:29
Ack@ack.ack
Sorry, losing my touch - it's tough ranting all day you know :-)

Dave Wid 5/10/2000, 9:8
Sorry about the double posting. But, hey, Dave, I just checked out the UHDS marriages articles and how come theres I didn't get a mention. You must be losing your touch....

Dave Wid 5/10/2000, 9:2
Call that a Rant - its more like Open bloody University. Unless you want me to start quoting 'Operational Management' by Sconberger & Knodd(off) , you'll leave it well alone. Anyway, you're only trying to look clever in front of the Alumni visitors. PS I'd just like to say that my time at The University of Hertfordshire were the best years of my life and have made me the man I am today. A twice divorced, under paid, cynical engineer who is slowly losing the wi... (THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY D PATRICK AS PART OF THE 'KEEP IT A HAPPY SITE' CAMPAIGN)

Dave Wid 5/10/2000, 8:52
Call that a Rant - its more like Open bloody University. Unless you want me to start quoting 'Operational Management' by Sconberger & Knodd(off) , you'll leave it well alone. Anyway, you're only trying to look clever in front of the Alumni visitors. PS I'd just like to say that my time at The University of Hertfordshire were the best years of my life and have made me the man I am today. A twice divorced, under paid, cynical engineer who is slowly losing the wi... (THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY D PATRICK AS PART OF THE 'KEEP IT A HAPPY SITE' CAMPAIGN)

shaznai 4/10/2000, 8:36
shaznai1@supanet.com
hi everyone

The Ranter 4/10/2000, 17:26
Ack@ack.cahdadh
If this manages to get past the "Censors"... don't bother with Anti-bacterial stuff, it's all marketing clap trap. Todays Rant is educational... Read and learn: "As to the total number of species that are inhabiting a healthy body, estimates vary as more species are discovered on a seemingly regular basis, but Mark Pallen, a professor of microbiology based at the Queen's University of Belfast, reckons that the figure is in excess of 200. "There are more than 80 that live in the mouth alone and studies that have been carried out at the Laboratory of the Ecology and Physiology of the Digestive System in Jouy-en-Josas, France, suggest that at least another 80 live in the gut, with many others living on our skin. It's impossible to be precise, but our permanent resident population certainly exceeds 200 species," he says. "The human genome carries a maximum of 100,000 genes, yet the average bacterial genome has 2000 genes. Therefore there are actually four times as many genes found in the bacteria that live on humans, as there are in the human genome itself." Of course, it's not just bacteria and viruses that make people their home. In his books Fearsome Fauna (W. H. Freeman, 1999) and Furtive Fauna (Penguin, 1992), Roger M. Knutson describes the wide range of parasites that live both on and inside you. These tend to be macroscopic organisms, and some of them can be pretty gruesome creatures. Lice are perhaps the most common of these body dwellers. They have the ability to get everywhere from your hair to your armpits to your groin. Nonetheless, they tend to be more itchy than damaging--unlike ticks, which can cause any number of nasty and exotic diseases from royal farm virus to Omsk haemorrhagic fever. And then there is the scabies mite, which is believed to infest millions of humans worldwide, and is able to burrow into the body to hide itself, causing a nasty itch. Fortunately, its close relative, the follicle mite, which is found on everybody in the world, happily munches dried skin cells and causes far less aggravation. And not all body parasites creep and crawl--you can find fungi in your hair and mould in your skin folds if you look closely enough. Inside your digestive tract you can, among others, find the protozoan that causes amoebic dysentery, 20-metre beef tapeworms and a hookworm that has a penchant for finding its way into your bloodstream. Other creatures in your blood can include the hermaphroditic Shistosoma worm, which can lead to a bloody and scarred bladder, while in your lymphatic system you may find the 12-centimetre Wucheria worm. In your liver you may come across the bile-loving Clonorchis sinensis fluke and, perhaps most horrifying of all, the brain can house Naegleria fowleri, an amoeba that just loves the warmth that it finds inside your skull, reproducing in its millions until you drop down dead" Nice. So, beware the ultra-clean, but also beware the man who roots in cr*p.

Le Burge 4/10/2000, 15:33
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Why can't these lonely internet victims learn how to spell? What does "wots" or "goin" mean? Certainly not Queen's English that's for sure ("Can, anybody find me, Somebody to.... Love")

tori 4/10/2000, 15:25
Email Not Given
wots goin on?

Peter Bushbeater 4/10/2000, 10:26
Email Not Given
I have been beating my stick against a small piece of leather for twelve years. On Monday night I finally achieved enlightenment - being able to pull off with my left hand as well.

Unknown Person 3/10/2000, 23:52
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

The Philosophiser 3/10/2000, 17:41
yes...if I think I have
The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next

dave 3/10/2000, 17:19
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Dear Ranter, if you scroll to the side of Erin Gray you will see your earlier posting - censorship is not my bag. if you want to blame anyone, blame Mr Le Burge. Oh and while I'm at it, can I just explain that we lost September's chat due to a file crash on the server - it had run out of diskspace or something. I was upset by that as there had been some excellent Ranting, Revealing, Philosophising and Concealing all round.

the blagger 3/10/2000, 16:41
easy@geezer.mate

look out, I'll nick it

The Ranter 3/10/2000, 16:38
ack@ack.ack
Of course, I could be mistaken, damn scroll bars... >:-8 Ooops.

The Ranter 3/10/2000, 16:37
ack@ack.ack
Right. 2 things. 1st Egg? Egg Schmegg 2nd I posted Egg Shmegg earlier on and it's disappered - Oi, Patrick, NO!

dave 3/10/2000, 16:31
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I have to concede that, yes - she was a bit foxy. Good to see some Madhatters getting their hands dirty with a bit of the old HTML. Shouldn't really encourage it as we could cause some problems, oops shouldn't have mentioned that - anyway. Can I just mention that after my Alumni meeting last night this site may be getting some attention. Please can you keep it clean, if you do feel the need to mention words like bollocks, arse and tits please use the censored versions, i.e. b***ocks, ar** and t*ts. Oh, yeah the F and C words are right out. Even F*** and C*** although clever use of alternative swearing is encouraged. Be wiley and go about you business. Thanks.

abiy2k 3/10/2000, 16:28
abistimson@aol.com
hello and what is going on

abiy2k2001 3/10/2000, 16:26
abistimson@aol.com
hello

Le Burge 3/10/2000, 16:23
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Oops - a bit big, isn't it

Le Burge 3/10/2000, 15:40
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Ahh, those Colonel Deering memories...

The Ranter 3/10/2000, 13:26
ack @ahdhc,cjadffj
Egg schmegg

Philly 3/10/2000, 8:57
Email Not Given
(bold)(font size 26)(underline)(caps)egg. Sorry guys, just can't compete with you Internet gods.

Dave Wid 3/10/2000, 8:29
Just out of interest, who will be the first Madhatter whose age will equal the number of days to go to the banquet? we could have a competition called 'The Great Steve Phipps Race'. Winner walks away wi....sorry zimmers away with a brand new spanking Home Catheter Kit, donated by Piss Safe Monthly Magazine.

dave 2/10/2000, 21:37
dave

egg

Ken 2/10/2000, 17:27
Email Not Given
Well done Kev & Jenny..have you set a date yet for the wedding? Love the egg Dave, it looks like a prop from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, who could forget that annoying runt Twicky and that horny lass who wore skin tight white leather outfit.rrrrrrr!!

Jenny Mettham 2/10/2000, 15:56
jmettham@hotmail.com
Sorry to interupt the EGG chat but wanted to tell everyone that I am entering the grown-up world....Kev Goodhand proposed to me at the weekend, yes I did accept, and we are now officially engaged!

Dave Wid 2/10/2000, 15:52
Email Not Given

LE Burge 2/10/2000, 14:32
simon.burges@bigfoot.com

EGG

Ken 2/10/2000, 14:27
Email Not Given
Ahh Mr Wid...I did not see your cameo role in that Sarah Lancashire programme, but did you record it?

dave 2/10/2000, 14:5
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com

EGG

Le Burge 2/10/2000, 14:1
simon.burges@Bigfoot.com
EEEE-EEEEEEGGGGG!

Buckaroo Banzai 2/10/2000, 12:58
BB@the_hong_kong_cavaliers.com
Remember... Where ever you go, there you are......

The Ranter 2/10/2000, 11:30
ack@ack.com
Emil Heskey is crap. Let's compare him to the new Chelsea striker Gudjohnsson, icelandic signed from Bolton Wanderers, used to partner Ronaldo at PSV before he got a nasty injury. He's only 22 and he's just coming back to form. Looks really quick, good passer too. Heskey looks like a bolted pony at times, completely lacking in any thread of intelligence. He runs around like a headless chicken and falls over more regularly than Greek Ferrys sink. People have a go at Chelsea saying the number of languages mean you can't communicate, but try communicating with Heskey. He looks like he's only just learnt how to tie-up his boots. Why does everyone bang on about him being a classic english centre forward. Strong, brave, quick. He may well be but like other classic English centre forwards he can't actually play football that well and isn't very clever. English footballers? G'ah. Rant over

Dave Wid 2/10/2000, 10:57
Email Not Given
What do you mean 'dissapeared'? What u mean is u lost it. What a loss to the literary world. Anyway, philly, EGG.

Philly 2/10/2000, 8:45
Email Not Given
egg

davey p 1/10/2000, 20:13
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Well, all the chat for September has mysteriously disappeared... so let's start again eh!?

Simon H. 31/8/2000, 11:22
shopes@dentonwildeetc.
David, David, David. Enticing happy-go-lucky e-chatters into cyber-sexual ritual is just not acceptable behaviour in the year 2000. Perhaps back in 1999 people could quite easily engage in that kind of activity but not now.Please go an get a blow-up doll like everyone else. I suggest "Suction Sarah - She takes all you have" which can be purchased for 3.99 at Trago Mills, Devon.