Mikey H 22/8/2003, 17:50
Email Not Given
P.S. Congrats to Ken on his new job at the BEEB!!!
Mikey H 22/8/2003, 17:49
Email Not Given
Just back from Edinburgh after a fantastic week at the festival.
Cheers to Dave for organising such a great party and for those of
you who didn't go - you missed out on a week of spectacular
entertainment (not just on the stage...hey Brian!!), lack of
sleep, eating non healthy food, abusing your livers... I'm off for
a rest!!!
steve 22/8/2003, 15:29
Email Not Given
loved reading the message s
Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 15:28
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 14:46
Email Not Given
me
Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 13:45
Email Not Given
Who doesn't?
Muhammadd Nadeem 22/8/2003, 13:53
nadeem_prime@yahoo.com
I want to get admission in Ph. D (Maths)
Dave Wid 17/8/2003, 14:18
Email Not Given
I am back from France. Happy Birthday Gary. I suppose you're all
in Edinburgh. Well so will I be. Soon. Ok, Monday.
Slon 15/8/2003, 14:22
Email Not Given
And a happy birthday to Roger. What ever happened to you? Didn't
you go overseas or something?
Slon 14/8/2003, 15:26
Email Not Given
Congratulations Dino. Helpful tip - don't spend all day on the web
at work. Apparently the boss can suddenly come in and catch...Oops
got to go.
Dino 14/8/2003, 14:25
Email Not Given
Steve is a wastrel, and as such is quite content to play Age of
Empires all day long...
dave 14/8/2003, 13:4
Email Not Given
As one who has watched your plight over the last few years; and
how the drama has unfolded on these pages, I am delighted to offer
you my congratulations Dino. Has Steve been offered the job also?
Dino 14/8/2003, 12:6
Email Not Given
I would like you all to be the first to know: I AM EMPLOYED
AGAIN!!!!!! I shall be working for VISA International starting
1st September...now I need to go take a lie down and contemplate
what 'work' means after two years on the governments' invisible
unemployment dungheap...
dave 14/8/2003, 11:29
Email Not Given
I thought the Revealer had already 'revealed' themselves. Well, if
you don't know. I don't know if PondLife is going to Edinburgh, if
I knew who they were I wouldn't have any of it.
Dino 14/8/2003, 9:23
Email Not Given
Davey: I noticed that your email regarding the Fringe addressed
"The Revealer", can it be revealed that not only he/she will be at
Edinburgh but also The Insulter and The Ponderer too? It would be
a jolly wheeze to try and determine which of the 30 or so
Madhatters were the aforesaid personalities!
John 13/8/2003, 12:53
Email Not Given
It's not really called Dave Patrick, Dave. It's called Puss. But
the rabbit's called Andy Roughton.
Unknown Person 13/8/2003, 13:53
Email Not Given
But Madhatters does exist.
dave 13/8/2003, 13:35
Email Not Given
... hmmm, please stop it now. I have no pets and thus cannot name
them after Madhatters - as they do not exist. I would recommend
that Madhatters parents do not name their pets after me. Although
'Dave' is a good name for a hamster.
John 13/8/2003, 12:6
Email Not Given
Commiserations Jol and Toni. I didn't know you had a pet named
after another Madhatter. By a strange coincidence, my parents' cat
is called Dave Patrick. How about that?
Le Burge 12/8/2003, 9:46
Email Not Given
Very wise, young Ashley!
Ashley 12/8/2003, 10:7
Email Not Given
Have I missed something? I saw Honey this morning, chatting with
Nathan. I appreciate she may be quite objectionable at times, I
would hesitate to refer to her as a dog.
Dino 12/8/2003, 9:25
Email Not Given
Is a lam a small sheep without bite?
Mikey H 12/8/2003, 9:9
Email Not Given
My sincere sympathy to Jol & Toni on the loss of Honey. May doggy
heaven be full of lamposts and big bowls of Iams.
dave 11/8/2003, 18:30
Email Not Given
No, say it ain't so Jolyon and Toni! I can't believe it. I
remember those times throwing sticks on the beach near Tenby... I
hope dog heaven is full of frisbees you can bite. I shall have a
drink to my favourite Labrador.
Le Burge 11/8/2003, 10:0
Email Not Given
Eh?
Honey 11/8/2003, 16:13
honey@dogheaven.com
just to write you a quick note whilst i am waiting for the pearly
dog flap to open to say a big thanks to you all and a fond
fairwell, i think i am the first madhatter to go on the final
journey, and must say so far so good, there are loads of big
sticks and limited addition frisbees to chew on, and i have only
just got here!! love to all
Ashley 11/8/2003, 14:34
Email Not Given
Thanks for the kind birthday wishes everyone. I am celebrating
today by being the only person in my office (the other 3 all
having started holidays today), and getting my hair cut. Anyway,
this wretched heatwave - if it gets any hotter here in Hull, it
might go over the 32degree mark, at which point the ice and snow
outside my house might melt and expose the beautifully preserved
corpse of the Polar Bear I ran over last thaw.
dave 11/8/2003, 14:5
Email Not Given
Hi Martin, I guess you have stop responding to my e-mails because
you hate all the spam I keep sending you about gigs, Edinburgh
festivals and the like. As for Belch, he got married about 5 years
ago to a girl called Tania - Caro and I went up to the wedding and
so did Simon Harrowing. Belch has since been very silent since,
but I have no doubts he will pop-up at some time. Anyway - we
should meet up in St Albans some time.
Steve - your enthusiasm for this Heatwave is surprising, I for one
can't wait till the cold snap kicks in. It is very distressing
when even sitting down and watching the TV causes you to sweat
profusely. And no that's not a cue for a classy ITV2 reality
documentary.
Slon 11/8/2003, 13:58
Email Not Given
Good to see the "water-draining-the other-way" myth dragged out
and dusted off once more. Happy birthday folks.
Martin Brabham 11/8/2003, 13:13
mbrabham@ntlworld.com
stumbled upon the website - and pleased to recognise some familiar
names. Living in Hampshire now (yes back to the gheto from wence i
came). Not much has changed there - although i've put on a few
pounds and developed some distinctivley silver flashes in my hair.
Still wonder what happend to Belch, Ann the hovercraft enthusiast,
Shona, Paul (cant remember the surname but was quite tall), Brian
etc , My inbox awaits you P.s. Changed my email to mbrabham@ntlworld.com
due to the lure of cutprice broadband
Dino 11/8/103, 12:13
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Kath! Has all the blood drained to your head yet?
And do you ever get bored watching the water swirl down the
plughole anti-clockwise? We're in the middle of a heatwave and it
may even last until Edinburgh!!! Yippee!
dave 11/8/2003, 10:47
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Kath in New Zealand, always nice to hear from you
on the other side of the world; and thee too Mr Pearson, not in
NZ.
John 11/8/2003, 10:27
Email Not Given
HB Kath and Ash. Not hitched, but not entirely single either. But
don't worry Ashley, there are plenty of other competitors in the
ESSC.
Kath 11/8/2003, 9:20
kath_whibley@hotmail.com
G'day... thought I'd say hi as its my birthday! In fact I get 1and
1/2 days cause its aleady my birthday here in NZ. Cool. Already
opened all my pressies and off for a curry tonight in memory of
living by curry mile in Manc land...Hope to catch up when we are
back in October.. Enjoy the sun!!
Ashley 8/8/2003, 16:40
Email
Given
Ah, Twaty, I knew my neologism wouldn't fox you - although Lord
Byron and I are impressed by your only slightly dodgy usage of
'sesquipedalian' - a word I've felt has been neglected too too
long. Hope you are well. Glad you're not dead, yet. Are you, like
most, hitched or getting there? Or are you competing against me in
the European Staying Single Championships? There are more
questions than answers...
John 8/8/2003, 15:59
Email Not Given
Pearson...Pearson...I think I remember you. Ashley, isn't it? Your
typing's coming on - but you still can't spell 'eroticism' I see.
Or maybe you were deliberately using an obscure word to show off.
How sesquipedalian of you.
dave 8/8/2003, 15:33
Email Not Given
Hi Sion, I've been in my attic today, making up shelving units to
try and at least organise some of that 'atticy stuff'. GIven that
it's 33 outside I reckon the insulation adds at least another 10
degrees. So I've been working and sweating in intolerable
conditions. As Simon pointed out, I could have waited till Autumn.
Mind you at least I wasn't at work.
Slon 8/8/2003, 15:26
Email Not Given
30 sodding degrees in my office all week (thats something or other
degrees in old money). Someone top that to make me feel that there
are people at work worse off.
Lord Pearson of Truro (well, Hull) 8/8/2003, 15:5
ashley.pearson@comet.co.uk
And into this impenetrable mire of drivel, in-jokes and
esotericism I shall plunge my over-touted and under-rated views on
life, which this week consist largely of me remembering that it's
my birthday on 11th. Now if you all behave yourself I may come
down to t'smoke for the self-congratulatory 10 years of KeepCheesy
gig. But I may not.
Dino 8/8/2003, 9:5
Email Not Given
France? Is that a restaurant in Stoke?
Dave Wid 8/8/2003, 8:40
Email Not Given
iI'm off to france. See you next week in Edinburgh folks!
dave 8/8/2003, 1:11
Email Not Given
Does anyone else think this UK Heatwave is due to global warming,
or just hot weather? Or a combination of both, or neither? God,
Noel Gallagher isn't very good at guitar solos, can't even do
windmills man.
dave 8/8/2003, 1:9
Email Not Given
I mean Norfolk, not Nprfolk, ah feck it.
dave 8/8/2003, 1:9
Email Not Given
Nprfolk...not Norfold. I'm going to bed now, but I won't sleep
because it's too darn hot. Actually watching a bit of TV at the
moment. It's The Who live in concert with special guest Noel
Gallagher on 'Won't Get Fooled Again'. Tchoh! Keith Moon would be
turning in his grave - if he was dead - which he is.
dave 8/8/2003, 1:7
Email Not Given
Gaty Coleman - is he part of the famous Norfold mustard family? Or
possibly from some obscure sitcom?
Le Burge 7/8/2003, 9:51
Email Not Given
Thanks, TP, for the "Gary Coleman runs for California Governor"
story. I'd vote for The Governator - Arnie himself is running -
but I can't vote
dave 7/8/2003, 15:45
Email Not Given
Thanks John for breaking the deadlock. It's too hot to do anything
much. I was going to get up and get a drink but I was too hot.
John 7/8/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
Phew, that was close.
John 7/8/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
If somebody doesn't post something soon, it's going to be two days
with no additions to the site.
dave 5/8/2003, 16:23
Email Not Given
Steve - see EdinburghFirst.com and tell them you are staying at
Hermits Croft and wanting to park at East Newington
Dino 5/8/2003, 11:5
Email Not Given
Davey: What was that number you said I should call for parking in
EdBoro? Driving away last night was scary - I kept imagining what
it would be like to go full throttle down Holywell Hill and smash
into the back of the nearest car! That game is frighteningly
addictive - so put it away now and get some work done!
John 5/8/2003, 9:1
Email Not Given
Many thanks to everyone for their advice. I think I've found a
cheap flight now. See you in Auld Reekie!
Mikey H 5/8/2003, 8:51
Email Not Given
John: We managed to get a British Midland flight from Heathrow to
Edinburgh for £90 return... if that helps? or alternatively we
could get wing commander Benson to pull a few strings and borrow a
RAF plane, and give us all a lift up there!
Dino 4/8/2003, 17:52
Email Not Given
John: I can firmly not recommedn going by coach, unless you like
to be sat next to a brut33-soaked Lithuanian, talking gibberish
into his phone all the way up, whilst being accosted by the drunk
behind you who believes that if he smokes on an air-conditioned
coach, the driver won't notice!
Hope that helps?
Le Burge 4/8/2003, 9:39
Email Not Given
Ah, Dave. Yes, Stuart e-mailed me a few weeks ago and I passed on
my phone number plus an invitation to stay over before he flies
back home. Hopefully he will. Do you have his cell (sorry, mobile)
number?
dave 4/8/2003, 16:55
Email Not Given
Ah, sorry John. You see, what you did was make the terrible
mistake of leaving it till the last minute. I am able to give you
a lift up from St Albans - but back down would be a problem for me
as I have a full car on the way home. May I suggest contacting Sir
Gary of Stevenbole - he's the only one I can think who may be able
to help.
John 4/8/2003, 15:21
Email Not Given
I'm just finalising (panicking about) my Edinburgh travel
arrangements. Do any knowledgeable Hatters have advice for getting
from Portsmouth to Edinburgh and back? Cheapest air fare I could
find was £124 (easyjet). Coach is about £50 but it's 12
(adjectival swearword) hours. Train is also the best part of a
ton.
dave 4/8/2003, 14:9
Email Not Given
You wouldn't have seen the coverage he got in the UK papers over
his first game for Real. Absolutely mental. Did you know Simon,
that Stu is on his way to see you in Santa Monica? He says he'll
be arriving on 14th.
Le Burge 30/7/2003, 9:55
Email Not Given
I did post yesterday about the Man U game but the web-site
subsequently crashed. Anyway, for Andy and Dave's benefit - Man U,
Juventus, Barcelona, Celtic and Club America (Mexican side) are
here. 67,000 saw Man U beat Celtic 4-0 in Seattle last week so
there is quite a bit of interest. Reasonable coverage in both of
the weekend editions of the LA Times. And a 20-minute documentary
on David Beckham on HBO last night
Le Burge 30/7/2003, 9:52
Email Not Given
....and hopefully the Joker leaves again.....
The Joker Returns 30/7/2003, 10:29
Email Not Given
The Top Ten Times in History when the 'F' Word was used
10th-Scattered f??king showers my arse- Noah 4314 BC
9th- How the f??kdid you work that out? - Pythagoras 126bc
8th- You want what on the f??king ceiling - Michaelangelo 1566
7th - Where did all those f??king Indians come from?-
Custer1877
6th- It does so f??king look like her- Picasso-1926
5th- Where the f??k are we?- Amelia Earhardt 1937
4th- Any f??king idiot could understand that-Einstein 1938
3rd- What the f??k was that?- Mayor of Hiroshima- 1945
2nd - I need this parade like a hole in the f??king head- JFK-
1963
!st- Aw c'mon, Who the f??k is going to find out- Blair
No Hope 29/7/2003, 17:27
Email Not Given
I was doomed from the start.
Bob Hope 29/7/2003, 16:44
Email Not Given
Lawrence. My parents had no imagination.
Claudette Colbert 29/7/2003, 16:43
Email Not Given
What's the "L" stand for?
Bob Hope 29/7/2003, 16:43
Email Not Given
Lawrence L. Lawrence
Dino 29/7/2003, 10:22
Email Not Given
I knew I could rely on you Andy to "upset the apple
cart"...anyway, in case nobody else has discovered it yet, go to
Google and play around with the language settings..try the Elmer
Fudd setting for example...pweskwy wabbet!
Ann Dee 29/7/2003, 10:13
Email Not Given
You certainly should Steve (Phipps that is, of course, just to
clear that up, of Stepps Consulting, he's Dino you see, it's
because he's dead old). Anyhoo, gawd bless Bob Hope and his Road
to Cemetary. And Simon, is there much interest in the Man U games
over there? Aren't Celtic and Barcelona over there too? I keep
hearing contrasting views on it, "sold out" one day to "we called
to get tickets and they asked us where we wanted to sit" the next
- I demand to know the truth!
Dino 29/7/2003, 8:35
Email Not Given
Davey: Please refer to me by my handle when I use it...keeps an
air of mystery to casual viewers...
Anyway, It was a question, because two emails I sent earlier
had bounced back undelivered and so I have forwarded one said
email back to you to prove it. Sorry, I'll remove the smug look
from my face in a minute. I really should get out more...
dave 28/7/2003, 18:43
Email Not Given
Simon - are Man U really in America?? Have you sold your Chrysler
Neon yet?
dave 28/7/2003, 18:42
Email Not Given
Well met Ken, yes adios Mr Hope. Steve, your question is incorrect
in every respect. Just because I do not read your e-mail
immediately and thus, send back a read receipt, does not mean that
I haven't received it. Also - it is not a question.
Le Burge 28/7/2003, 10:27
Email Not Given
Was going to watch the Man U / Club America (actually a Mexican
side) on Sunday here in LA but went to the beach instead. As the
LA Times put, refering to the game on TV: "For those who don't
fancy driving to the Colisium to pay $40 to see the team that
David Beckham used to play for!"
Le Burge 28/7/2003, 10:25
Email Not Given
Topless golf? Didn't even see that one?
Ken 28/7/2003, 16:46
Email Not Given
Adios Bob Hope.
Dino 28/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Davey: your email won't receive incoming mail?
Dave Wid 26/7/2003, 17:46
Email Not Given
My Weebl and Bob recommendation was good. They like pie. Mmmmmm.
Donkey.
dave 25/7/2003, 16:40
Email Not Given
'Hulk has Willy', very clever. What about 'Ponderer has reason to
live'. That would be news.
dave 25/7/2003, 16:11
Email Not Given
... and not a patch on my Electric Six Gaybar link. Come on,
where's the quaility??
dave 25/7/2003, 15:42
Email Not Given
...and as if you didn't know it comes hot on the heels of a load
of 'shock' recommendations - mainly tumour based. And now we're
talking about them - oh god, go on then, gives us another Mr
Fecking Clever Pond Face.
dave 25/7/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
Referring to the 'topless golf' article Andy, before you jump in
and cry censorship. I mean, naked women, playing golf...tchoh,it's
hardly topless darts is it?
Ann Dee 25/7/2003, 15:10
Email Not Given
I'm confused, hadn't had a little look for a while but there
appears to be some editing/censorship going on. If pondlife has
said something ridiculous can it be left up for all to ridicule?
dave 25/7/2003, 11:53
Email Not Given
You really are an obvious, sexist tw*t aren't you pond life?
Lesley 23/7/2003, 20:21
Email Not Given
Bizarre... but v amusing!
Dave Wid 23/7/2003, 0:13
Email Not Given
Check em all out. Especially 'Cheese' and 'Art'. They make me
laugh.
Ken 22/7/2003, 8:21
Email Not Given
Dave Wid...what a superb site...check out the Christmas episode, v
funny.
Unknown Person 21/7/2003, 23:36
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 21/7/2003, 23:36
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Dave Wid 21/7/2003, 18:38
Email Not Given
It has been replaced! Try the archives (using the drop down menu)
of Weebl and Bob toons. The funniest thing I've seen in a long
time. Think they're on MTV2 now. Pie.
dave 21/7/2003, 18:30
Email Not Given
Thanks for nothing Ponderer. Please keep your web site
recommendations to yourself you big divot.
Woooarrggh 21/7/2003, 14:2
Email Not Given
Hey Davey, that's just great. Hope you don't waste the time,
sitting at home, with beer and satellite telly.
Dave Wid 21/7/2003, 12:59
Email Not Given
Can I please be allowed to point out that this is the first day of
the 6 WEEK school holidays. Thank you.
Slon 21/7/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
Lovely indeed thanks Dave. A big thankyou to all who came. I had a
great day. Got shedloads of beer left though. People don't drink
like they used to. Bruce was the only one who made an effort. Ta
Brucey,
dave 20/7/2003, 23:24
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Sion - sorry Caro and I didn't make it up to see
you, hope you had a nice day.
Le Burge 18/7/2003, 9:34
Email Not Given
Funny? Er, no
Dave S 18/7/2003, 12:59
djs@ieee.org
Hey All. Anyone got Mr Jarmans email address? ta Ciao 4 now
dave 18/7/2003, 12:24
Email Not Given
Save us. Anyone got anything funny to talk about (not, you Mr
Barrymore)
Michael Barrymore 18/7/2003, 11:15
Email Not Given
Anyone want to try my swimming pool?
Dino 18/7/2003, 9:15
Email Not Given
P.S. I realise that this site may now register quite a bit of
interest among US Marines, Air Stewards and Michael Barrymore
Dino 18/7/2003, 9:14
Email Not Given
Poptastic Davey! I've been having my own little karoake here...la
la la GAY BAR! GAY BAR! GAY BAR!
THE Ponderer 17/7/2003, 15:32
Email Not Given
Boy, did you ever get that right! So many words, so little sense.
At least I steer clear of swear words.
THE INSULTERER 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
By the way that was me 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Now look here Ponderer, we don't want none of your half arsed
insults round here again. Go back to flicking through your ladyboy
catalogue and leave us alone. Tw*tface.
THE Ponderer 17/7/2003, 11:56
Email Not Given
I wonder if the Insulter is a fruit frotter?
The Insulter 13/6/2003, 11:12
Email Not Given
Fig off!
Not John, honest 17/7/2003, 9:33
Email Not Given
...and if the Insulter's obsessed with dried fruit, does that make
him the Insultana?
John 17/7/2003, 8:46
Email Not Given
I'm afraid the voice of reason website met its electronic end some
time ago. It must be another sad lonely freak's site to which
Metro refers, Ken. However, the Insulter's comment makes me wonder
whether there's mileage in a website dedicated to badly spelled
dried fruit products...
Simon H 17/7/2003, 7:30
Email Not Given
Ah yes - The Macc Lads. My second favorite band after the Berlin
Philharmonic.
The Insulter 17/7/2003, 0:36
Email Not Given
The Voice of Rasin
dave 16/7/2003, 23:9
Email Not Given
The Voice of Reason? I thought that closed down due to lack of
interest on John's part? Surely another voice of reason?
Ken 16/7/2003, 21:5
Email Not Given
Evening all...Mr Wyatt, I daresay that you would not have got a
copy of the free London morning newspaper called Metro, the reason
being was that I think your website "The Voice of Reason" was
featured as one of a select group taking the 'Michael' out of
Saddam Hussien. I will keep hold of my copy of the article for you
until I next see you.
Dino 16/7/2003, 16:2
Email Not Given
Is 'Stan Boardman' a Viz character a la Roger?
Stan Boardman 16/7/2003, 13:42
Email Not Given
Are you that posh git who talks about paintings with a plum in his
gob? I think you're a faggot!
Brian Sewell 16/7/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
Viz isn't as funny as it used to be, but then, what is? If you can
ignore a lot of rubbish, there's stil a handful of well-crafted
gags to be enjoyed.
dave 16/7/2003, 12:15
Email Not Given
Does anybody still read Viz? I haven't seen a copy for ages... is
it funny still? I had to leave after 'Billy the Fish' was cruely
usurped by 'Big Vern'.
John 16/7/2003, 11:43
Email Not Given
...which was nice.
The Macc Lads 16/7/2003, 11:42
Email Not Given
Her name's Sweaty Betty and she lives on a sewage farm, Put me
hand in her pants and she nearly swallowed me arm...
John 16/7/2003, 11:42
Email Not Given
Sadly, I think it's the Macc Lads - whose lyrics were quoted by an
unknown person a few messages ago - rather than UHDS who warranted
Kerry's approval. But I think I can add to the Macc Lads lyrics
quotations:
Dino 15/7/2003, 16:56
Email Not Given
"Work"? I wish you wouldn't keep using such confusing terms!
"Work"...?
dave 15/7/2003, 16:36
Email Not Given
Pass, I believe in the eyes of the young kids of today 'wicked'
means 'good'. So if we interpolate that by 'you guys' she means
Madhatters, then her sentiment is essentially Madhatters are good.
Now does she mean good in a benevolent, charitable way or good in
a friendly, cool way, or perhaps she may have seen us 'act' in
some of our UHDS days in which case she must be clearly derranged?
I personally wouldn't worry about it too much, but then I am
stalling for time... ho, hum back to work.
Dino 15/7/2003, 15:34
Email Not Given
Am I missing something - Is young Kerry a fan of the inane chatter
that passes for a weblog in Amateurdramaticsville?
kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:25
01kerllo
you guys are wicked
kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:24
01kerllo
you guys are wicked
kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:23
01kerllo
are you going to be performing around herefordshire and
worcester?if youare then when and what time/
kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:22
01kerllo
when are younext performing?
THE Ponderer 15/7/2003, 14:33
Email Not Given
Thank you.
Dave Wid 15/7/2003, 11:54
Email Not Given
Good website recommendation!
Dave Wid 15/7/2003, 11:52
Email Not Given
Noz and I are going to form an Ideas factory in the summer. You
come to us, we'll have ideas. Other previous ideas include:Micro
Pies 'their like pies, but small!', Zombie Westerns, Dwarf
Football and Interactive Murder TVs.
Stan Boardman 15/7/2003, 11:26
Email Not Given
NB- Collective nouns: Pack of bastards; Shower of c*nts; Clump of
crack; Mince of poofs etc
Unknown Person 15/7/2003, 10:46
Email Not Given
Cleaned my teeth, put on my best clobber, Tonight's the night I'm
going to knob her Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust, But you can't
shag a bird on a 29 bus Beer and sex and chips and gravy, its all
a Macc Lad wants Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit
of clump Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to
sup some more Pulled the bird down the Fox & Grapes Game of darts
and a lot of beer 'Can you hold your liquor (licker) love?' 'Yes I
can, always by the ears.' Treat your women like toilets They're
happy when you're abusing them But toilets don't follow you round
when you've finished using them
Dino 15/7/2003, 9:5
Email Not Given
John, Maybe we could form an association - The Federation for the
Employment of Madhatters, and for the Delivery of Occupational
Mastery...or FEM-DOM for short - sounds catchy doesn't it! We
could both pay ourselves whatever we see fit and invite other
unemployed 'Hatters to join us.
Heidi Klum 14/7/2003, 17:0
Email Not Given
I'd also like to be your friend. Oh and congratulations Mr Wid, I
imagine they'll be a lot hi-jinx and japery come next term, yarr.
Damn, given myself away m'hearties, yarr. Thar be dragons and
dubloons.
John 14/7/2003, 16:23
Email Not Given
No, it wasn't Dave. It was me. I'm bored beyond belief. Does
anyone want to give me a job? I can sub-edit - layout and
headlines and everything.
Dave 14/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Actually, that was me as well.
Dave's friends 14/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Dave, don't worry, you're not just talking to yourself. Many of us
are out here, just watching, not saying anything. We're all your
friends.
Dave Wid 14/7/2003, 15:42
Email Not Given
Avast yee! Yarr! They be passin' me they be. I's goin to be a
teacer. Yarr!
Mr LateEightiesMetal 14/7/2003, 15:31
Email Not Given
Faster Pussycat, WASP, Poison, Cinderella, Motley Crue? I can't
trace it..is it Dio? No, what would the grandfather of rock be
doing with a Viva, let alone a rusty one. He would have a chariot
worthy of a Warlock master and suitable to cart any rescued
Damsels around in comfort. Maybe one of the NWOBHM bands, Saxon,
UFO, Tygers of Pan Tang perhaps? Alright I'll get back to work.
Erm, is it Wishbone Ash?
Simon H 14/7/2003, 14:50
Email Not Given
Mike H - complete the following late eighties heavy metal lyric...
"Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust......."
Simon H 14/7/2003, 14:48
Email Not Given
I also think Edinburgh is one of the best holidays you can have.
Apart from perhaps a month in a beach hut in Phuket with Kirsten
Dunst. Or maybe three weeks skiing in the Alps with Heidi Klum. Or
perhaps a Kenyan safari with the Minogue sisters. Or maybe even a
long cruize with all five members of Girls Aloud. Erm... there's a
pattern developing here.
dave 14/7/2003, 14:13
Email Not Given
Ah, well you see, you know when you've got loads of boring work to
do, etc. What better way to distract you from you main tasks than
posting inane messages mainly to yourself on a chat forum of your
own making. It's like the madness of talking to yourself but with
the added bonus of inviting your friends to witness it.
Ediinburgh - thanks Mike got your cheques this morning. Erm, where
to start - it's a week of culture, eating and drinking in one of
the most beautiful cities in the world. With literally thousands
of shows, some groundbreaking new theatre, great stand-up (and
some terrible stuff as well), art exhibitions, book festivals,
tatoo's, there's almost too much to take in. I think it's one of
the best holidays you can have - relaxing, no but stimulating
beyond all doubt. Have a look at edfringe.com for more info.
Mikey H 14/7/2003, 13:28
Email Not Given
me thinks that Dave has got time on his hands today...... why not
tell us a bit more about Edinburgh Dave... after all it's only 5
weeks away......
dave 14/7/2003, 12:57
Email Not Given
That was me. Sorry. T'is true.
The Sea Captain 14/7/2003, 12:47
Email Not Given
Splice the mainbrace, set The Black Pig on course for the tropics,
yaar. T'is less taxing being a pirate than a teacher, yaar. I just
heard their was gold in yer belly, Squiddy.
Dave Wid 14/7/2003, 12:22
Email Not Given
Similarly. 'Tis them nasty buggers from QLS. They be assessing me
they be. Avast!
dave 14/7/2003, 11:24
Email Not Given
Whither doth thou stress? Is it to do with those cheeky inspectors
from OFSTED?
dave 14/7/2003, 11:23
Email Not Given
Don't be stressed Dave. Calm, deep breathing, lovely oceans,
panoramic vistas, panorama, documentaries, the war on terror,
weapons of mass destruction, horrible grizzly death. I'll shut up
now.
Dave Wid The Stressed 14/7/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh! I am very stressed.
Weebl 13/7/2003, 10:4
Email Not Given
'pee Birthday. Hairy Brian. Bring pie now. mmmmmm. Birthday pie.
Matt B 10/7/2003, 13:49
Email Not Given
Dave, you should really sort out your 24hr clock, its not well,
has anyone seen Andy recently, I'm worried about him, ever since
that thing with the stuff & the wotsit - he hasn'e been the....you
know.
Matt B 10/7/2003, 13:47
Email Not Given
Wow its late, Dave, I know its your birthday but you should go to
bed now!
Ken 10/7/2003, 20:46
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Dave & Bruce.
Dino 10/7/103, 17:13
Email Not Given
'Tis true that I am aged far beyond your scope, but I have neither
the paunch, grey hairs nor lined face for my age. WHat's more,
these are all my teeth, and my hairline has stopped receding.
Dave Wid 10/7/2003, 15:2
Email Not Given
I know he's starting to gain badger like looks but he's not quite
up to your Chelsea Pensioner level yet.
Dino 10/7/103, 14:45
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday mate! Have you caught me up yet?
Dave Wid 10/7/2003, 11:7
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Man. I love you, Man. Give us a hug.
Stan Boardman 10/7/2003, 11:4
Email Not Given
Harry Kewell
Stan Boardman 10/7/2003, 11:4
Email Not Given
I thought it is Dave's birthday tomorrow?
Homer 9/7/2003, 19:22
Email Not Given
That's all very well but what happened to the beer again? Hmm,
Beer, sweet, sweet aahhhhhggghhh.
The Philosopher 9/7/2003, 13:11
Email Not Given
Subject: Philosophy…
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some
items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked
up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it
with rocks - rocks about 2" in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed
that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles,
of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They
agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the
jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked
once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an
unanimous -- "yes."
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the
table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar --
effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students
laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want
you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are
the important things - your family, your partner, your health,
your children - things that if everything else was lost and only
they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the
other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The
sand is everything else. The small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there
is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your
life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take
your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work,
clean the house, give a dinner party, and fix the disposal. Take
care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer
represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just
goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of beers."
dave 8/7/2003, 16:5
Email Not Given
Oh, freedom of speech is a beautiful thing.
Unknown Person 8/7/2003, 18:42
Email Not Given
wanna know the dirty country 4 sex go to google and search bangkok
tonight
Unknown Person 8/7/2003, 18:39
Email Not Given
suck my ..................?
Dave Wid 8/7/2003, 11:40
Email Not Given
Good result lads, wish I'd been there. Just think, it could have
been 5-5, or even a 5-6 loss. Well maybe next time.
dave 8/7/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Happy Tom Pitt Birthday Chambers.
Unknown Person 7/7/2003, 14:13
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
The Cat 7/7/2003, 14:6
steve@stephenfrench.co.uk
Davey, Nice review! Worthy of many a newspaper back page. Yes,
if/when we play again, it might be an idea for someone to 'remind'
me of the rules, or in fact just 'mind' me of them as it's trys
and scrums I'm used to and not passback rules and offsides. Still
it was good (mostly!) clean fun. Looking forward to round 2.
Ken 7/7/2003, 14:8
Email Not Given
As mentioned previously Dave Pee, thanks for organising the match
hopefully by the time the next one comes around I will have a
bionic knee impervious to cuts, bruises etc...It was a great team
performance, well done Roughts on skippering the side.
dave 7/7/2003, 10:52
Email Not Given
The football this weekend - well we won! Have a look at the review
I have just posted.
Unknown Person 7/7/2003, 8:30
Email Not Given
Score for what Dave?
Dave Wid 6/7/2003, 16:0
Email Not Given
So, what was the score????
dave 4/7/2003, 12:8
Email Not Given
"You are"
dave 4/7/2003, 10:31
Email Not Given
... not unless your prepared for the consequences
dave 4/7/2003, 10:30
Email Not Given
Go to google enter 'anal porn surprise' and see what you get back.
(Don't press the I'm feeling lucky button).
kev 4/7/2003, 8:31
kevin@taverner.co.uk
Go to Google and enter 'French Military Victories'. Click I'm
feeling lucky.
Dino 3/7/103, 17:12
Email Not Given
Have a good weekend Hatters! I'm off to a wedding in Lymm - don't
kick seven bells out of each other at the footy will you! At least
wait until I get a chance to play again...!
laura mcilwaine 3/7/2003, 15:23
loser@sciencefreek.com
hey john im always watching you. That girl outside your window at
nights - thats me1 keep an i out John! :)
John 3/7/2003, 15:11
shitscared@surveillancephobia.com
What's the laugh? Seeing how many minutes it takes for the FBI to
break down your door?
Gary Stevenson 3/7/2003, 14:9
Email Not Given
For a laugh go to Google and enter 'Weapons of mass destruction'.
Click I'm feeling lucky.
Justin 3/7/2003, 13:6
Email Not Given
Hi John, Life in Norwich is currently wet (well not here at my
desk you understand, but outside it is!) Appart from being soggy
life is good. I'm ripping out the kitchen at the moment with a new
one arriving from the IKEA home improvement emporium today
(hopefully)...
John 3/7/2003, 12:26
Email Not Given
How's life in Norwich, Justin?
Unknown Person 3/7/2003, 11:48
Email Not Given
????
Justin 3/7/2003, 9:15
Email Not Given
Oh, and the database thingy seems to add its own "http://" so the
URL only works if you remove the first (or second, presumably!)
"http://".
Justin 3/7/2003, 9:13
Email Not Given
Dave, just wanted to apologise for messing up the right hand bar
on the site by recommending a site with a lllooooonnnnggg URL.
Seems that everything is centered so now have massive scroll bars.
Can I now call myself a hacker (although I do seem to have mislaid
my Iron Maiden T-Shirt)?
Sarah 2/7/2003, 22:28
Email Not Given
Well spotted John!
John 2/7/2003, 18:22
Email Not Given
Lesley, is that your real email address?
Ken 2/7/2003, 14:33
Email Not Given
Anyone else excited about the footie match this weekend?
Liz 2/7/2003, 10:56
Email Not Given
John - why do you smell of rats?
John (not Ken) 2/7/2003, 9:4
Email Not Given
Yes, it's me...I can't pass myself off as Ken (tried it, Sarah
smelt a rat straight away). The Ford Ka is having a jet engine and
a parachute fitted at the weekend. Flames painted down the side
and hugely inflated rear tyres are also being considered.
Le Burge 1/7/2003, 13:13
Email Not Given
Sorry Lesley, can't make it....
lesley 30/6/2003, 19:48
lesy@newmilton.org
Hi all, I've e-mailed some of you already, but in case I missed
out anyone important, I'm having a house warming get together on
Saturday 19th July. So if anyone feels like coming to sunny
Southampton, drop me a line and I'll send you details. It will
probably be a small, select gathering of strangers I've dragged in
off the streets.
Ken, John or whatever my name is (Whoops!) 30/6/2003, 17:47
Email Not Given
I would also heartily recommend the food at the Scullion's. John,
how was Santa Pod and will you be converting your Ford Ka into a
drag racer?
John 30/6/2003, 17:45
Email Not Given
I would also heartily recommend the food at the Scullion's. John,
how was Santa Pod and will you be converting your Ford Ka into a
drag racer?
John 30/6/2003, 13:46
bernardmanning@comedy.com
Based on this weekend's experience, I would thoroughly recommend
going round to the Scullions' house, having dinner and then going
drag racing on Sunday afternoon. The dress got a bit uncomfortable
after a while though.
scully 29/6/2003, 19:17
Email Not Given
Nick - look forward muchly to seeing yourself, Mrs W and Thomas
next saturday. - Enjoy your tour!
dave 27/6/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Ouch - Steve that hurts. Will try and come over.
Steve Phipps 26/6/2003, 13:46
stephen_phipps@hotmail.com
Sunday evening...do you often waste it going down the pub? Well
why not sup some beers at my Monthly Quiz Night - which takes
place this Sunday (29th) at
Enfield Lawn Tennis Club, entry from 7p.m. 4 people per team
max. Quiz rounds consist of General Knowledge, Sports,
Specialist(football this month) and Music, with separate Footy
Quick Pick and "Play Your Cards Right" (current prize total £67),
with music, cash prizes and cheap bar - what a way to spend your
Sunday evening! And it's just a stone's throw from junction 24
(Potters Bar) turnoff of the M25 (head for "Enfield - A1005). Give
me a shout if you're interested and want to know more.
The son of the Insulter 26/6/2003, 13:15
Email Not Given
Tennis-it's a girl's game.
Dan Maskell 26/6/2003, 11:55
Email Not Given
What small chance Greg Rusedski had of hauling his long way back
from two sets down against Andy Roddick on Centre Court vanished
in a red rage of anger and expletives when he utterly lost his
control after someone in the crowd had called a shot by the
American out. Roddick was leading 30-15 and serving to save the
third set at 5-2, when his forehand landed on the baseline. "Out"
came the shout and, although Rusedski returned the ball, he had
turned away when Roddick kept it in play. Roddick queried the
incident and was told by the umpire, Lars Graff of Sweden, it was
his point. Rusedski, previously cocooned in deep concentration
having bravely and skilfully battled his way back, was instantly
on the boil and wanted the point replayed. The umpire could have
called a let but decided against it. Still leading 5-3 and with
the set there to be won, Rusedski lost his serve to love and then
launched an extraordinary attack on Graff at the change over. "I
can't do anything if the crowd f*cking calls it," he raged.
"Absolutely f*cking ridiculous. At least replay the point." By now
obscenities were spewing out of Rusedski's mouth like a soiled
fountain. "F*cking ridiculous, f*cking ridiculous, frigging
ridiculous. Some wanker in the crowd changes the whole match and
you allow it to happen. Well done, well done, well done.
Absolutely shit."
Dino 26/6/2003, 10:36
Email Not Given
What's a 'wresting fan'?
delboy 26/6/2003, 0:35
davylfc9@hotmail.com
Nothing said.
mr fixer 25/6/2003, 17:32
Email Not Given
Don't worry mr asker - I've fixed it.
mr asker 25/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
whats the symbol for "there are too many http://'s in the url"?
Simon H 25/6/2003, 13:28
Email Not Given
Found a great (and yet strange) site - the origins of symbols.
Great stuff - particularly for bored office-workers and
blonde-haired teachers from Staffs.
Nick W 25/6/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
The Wiggins Annual Tour of The South just happens to take us
through WGC next Saturday, so expect some spectators. However let
it be known that the chance of getting me to play it squat. I am
quite happy being a Cheerleasder. I will bring pompoms and
everything.
Ann Dee 25/6/2003, 10:29
Email Not Given
Personally speaking it's a bit of a relief, I was wondering how to
break to you that you'd be starting on the bench.
Ken 24/6/2003, 22:3
Email Not Given
That's a piss poor excuse Dave Wid, but you will be missed.
Dave Wid 24/6/2003, 19:16
Email Not Given
I'm gutted mate, its my main asessment. If anyone wants to write
me 2000 words on Dyscalculia, they're welcome!
dave 24/6/2003, 18:1
Email Not Given
That sounds like a copout Dave, I wouldn't expect you to come down
and have a 'drunken weekend'. Thanks for your ideas on how we are
going to replace you - very helpful???
Dave Wid 24/6/2003, 16:55
Email Not Given
Bad news everyone. I can't make the football on the 5th, I am
being inspected at school the following week, so I better not
spend the weekend drunk in St Albans. Big sorry to all, but I get
a feeling that the leftback position can be filled by someone with
at the very least equal ability to me. A goat maybe. Or a very
small injured child.......or Psi.
Dino 24/6/2003, 16:18
Email Not Given
Hmmmm...that's an interesting right pane message Dave...
dave 23/6/2003, 11:47
Email Not Given
...mind you, I didn't back up the database so I'm afraid it's me
who's the fool. Can anyone remember what the last stories were
that have been crudely hacked out of existence?
Dino 23/6/2003, 9:10
Email Not Given
The secret's out that kiddies can just input information into a
text box and magically they have 'hacked' their first web site!!!!
Expect a bombardment of inane, mispelt chatter as the word spreads
quickly around primary schools across the land.
dave 20/6/2003, 23:44
Email Not Given
...and I was really enjoying the re-runs of Cold Feet. You
spoiling smeghead.
The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Or am I?
The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Just kidding.
The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Hermione dies
Simon H 20/6/2003, 15:13
Email Not Given
I once had a hack that caused much amuzement.
Dino 20/6/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
Awww.....
dave 20/6/2003, 0:46
Email Not Given
I shall take him off now... although his hack attack has caused
much amusement
Nick W 19/6/2003, 18:57
Email Not Given
What does "YOU SITe" mean? Maybe I should have done Computer
Science after all, and all would become clear.
Dino 19/6/103, 17:27
Email Not Given
Oh dear...HMB really doesn't get it does he...I would suggest that
he is either under the age of 10 or has the IQ of a 10-year old.
Either way he's a t*sser.
dave 19/6/2003, 16:42
Email Not Given
...oh to 'hack' the site please follow the 'Add a story to the
site' link in the right hand panel.
dave 19/6/2003, 16:41
Email Not Given
I think HMB has misunderstood the use of the word 'hack'. They
have confused 'hacking' with putting their comments into a form
and pressing 'submit'. I mean, it's hardly NASA is it?
I wish that other Madhatters would 'hack' the site in a similar
manner.
The Insulter 19/6/2003, 16:33
Email Not Given
Homo Mincing Bastard
Slon 19/6/2003, 16:27
Email Not Given
Could HMB not simply have added a breaking news story rather than
spending years in Iron Maiden t-shirts learning how to hack?
John 19/6/2003, 15:44
Email Not Given
Has anyone noticed we've been hacked? Look at the Breaking News
box. Seems to be a bit of a waste of effort though. You don't get
web hackers like you used to in the good old days. Where's the
really destructive and offensive stuff? Come on HMB, you're just
not trying.
Dino 19/6/2003, 14:51
Email Not Given
Just watched 'The Angry Silence' - great film!
Slon 19/6/2003, 14:0
Email Not Given
Not necessarily a bad thing
dave 19/6/2003, 13:41
Email Not Given
Surely that would cause a massive paradox which would result in
the end of the Universe... or at the very least the end of the
University of Hertfordshire?
Slon 19/6/2003, 13:46
Email Not Given
I can't talk. I could have one a year behind her. Spending all my
money and crashing my car. Playing that modern music crap late at
night...Oh god, I've become my father.
Mr Definately Anonymous 19/6/2003, 12:50
Email Not Given
No. Thick sandwich followed by a PHD.
Dino 19/6/2003, 12:4
Email Not Given
What - on a two year course?
Slon 19/6/2003, 11:49
Email Not Given
Happy birthday little Shona (now old enough to have a child
finishing at Hatfield) Gilchrist. Where does the time go, eh?
Dino 18/6/2003, 17:11
Email Not Given
Wavey: Are we playing tennis or wot?
The real Dave 18/6/2003, 16:33
Email Not Given
I'm over here in a box. Help.
dave 18/6/2003, 16:32
Email Not Given
Yes, very Tosser
dave 18/6/2003, 16:32
Email Not Given
Tosser
dave 18/6/2003, 16:31
Email Not Given
Very, er, what's that word again?
The Droll Locator 18/6/2003, 15:48
Email Not Given
I am The Droll Locator and I have located droll. Now I must leave,
my work here is done.
John 18/6/2003, 12:42
Email Not Given
Dave Wid et al: NEVER use Latin abbreviations, viz. etc. It makes
you look a ponce. QED.
Dino 18/6/103, 9:46
Email Not Given
NEVER use 'etc' in a sincere apology. Kinda ruins it a bit.
Dave Wid (reading that back again) 18/6/2003, 1:25
Email Not Given
Remind me NEVER to use 'etc' in a sincere apology. Kinda ruins it
a bit.
Dave Wid (reading that back) 18/6/2003, 1:24
Email Not Given
Not that I'm criticising the site, etc. Sorry mate, you know I
love you.
Dave Wid 18/6/2003, 1:23
Email Not Given
Oh Dave, isn't it time you archived all this tasty chat before the
site goes tits up and we lose it (like usual)
Dave Wid 18/6/2003, 1:21
Email Not Given
Sorry my mistake. At least I remember that the plumbers name is
Toni. Right? .............Damned Playtendo 2.
Caroline 17/6/2003, 16:35
Email Not Given
Yoshi is actually the green dinosaur type creature I think you'll
find. Dave Wid... the Mushroom thing is Toadie... I thought we'd
taught you better than that!
Dino 17/6/2003, 16:22
Email Not Given
I wasn't being serious...
Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 15:59
Email Not Given
Its when you're anything but an ape isn't? I don't know, I'm an
x-box man myself.
Dino 17/6/103, 11:19
Email Not Given
*Septesimian
Dino 17/6/2003, 11:13
Email Not Given
No, that's 'Septisemian', it means to pretend to be born in the
Month of September, when you're actually an October Libran.
John 17/6/2003, 10:20
Email Not Given
What's septesimia? Is it the condition of having seven monkeys?
Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 10:6
Email Not Given
Isn't Yoshi that mushroom thing?
Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 10:3
Email Not Given
Sorry Si I was doing a parents evening last night so missed your
call. I then got drunk and went to bed. I will call you later. As
for garralous, I don't think I can spell it when sober.
Dino 17/6/103, 9:5
Email Not Given
Hmm...yesterday I followed the recommended link and regurgitated
my breakfast, today I followed the recommended link and woke up
with my face implanted in my bowl of Shredded Wheat Bitesize. What
polar extremes.
Richard Gere's Hamster 16/6/2003, 23:24
Email Not Given
What's that smell?
Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:52
Email Not Given
I am pissed and garralous and unable to spell garralous
Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:51
Email Not Given
Dave Wid - call us back - it's been three hours since I called
you.
Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:51
Email Not Given
Sorry - Caro is incensed now because Yoshi is her favorite
character not Luigi. For those not familiar with the Nintendo
franchaise, Yoshi is the big pink pelican with septesimia.
Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:48
Email Not Given
Hello kids and welcome to "What do 30something year old Madhatters
do in the evening". Well children, I can reveal now that at chez
Dave et Caro it's 11pm and me, Brian, Dave and Caro are huddled
round the Gamecube drinking A L C O H O L and playing racing
games. Brian cannot control his car. David drives like a 17 year
old from South End on acid and speed and Caro is entirely
disinterested because none of the characters from Mario are
involved. I tell you - stick Luigi in anything and she'd feckin
buy it.
Dino 16/6/2003, 14:37
Email Not Given
Big fish, little fish?
Ken 16/6/2003, 14:11
Email Not Given
Hi John, no I didn't suffer from any sunburn over the weekend.
Dave Pee, I'm really looking forward to the footie, by the way who
are the St Albans Tigers? Roughts any thoughts on formations
etc...
dave 16/6/2003, 11:55
Email Not Given
You're not confusing yourself with a BooBah? I hope people have
seen the Football Banner. Madhatters XI are playing on 11.30am,
5th July at Gosling Sports Park, Welywn G.C. come and see if you
like.
Dave - are you playing?
Dave Wid 16/6/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
I'm slowly turning from blue to pink
John 16/6/2003, 9:9
Email Not Given
Morning all. Anyone else sunburn themselves over the weekend?
Dino 13/6/2003, 10:39
Email Not Given
A friend of mine used to play the trumpet with a mute...he just
turned the pages for him.
dave 12/6/2003, 18:10
Email Not Given
It's a moot point
Dino 12/6/2003, 16:22
Email Not Given
When mutes get together do they 'moot'?
Dave Wid 12/6/2003, 14:50
Email Not Given
Mmmmm hhhgh fffmmmm oooooomm
dave 12/6/2003, 14:19
Email Not Given
mmf
The Observer 12/6/2003, 12:29
Email Not Given
Its quieter than a mutes conference in here.
Dave Wid 11/6/2003, 17:7
Email Not Given
Try now o ancient one.
Dino 11/6/2003, 10:21
Email Not Given
Helloooooo......? This reminds me of the terraces at Watford
FC....
Dino 11/6/2003, 10:5
Email Not Given
Wid: Your link doesn't work.
Dino 10/6/2003, 16:59
Email Not Given
Just realised: Wid, why are you eating brekkies at half 3 in the
afternoon?
Dino 10/6/2003, 16:59
Email Not Given
Ugh! That website rec is disgusting! Why do people do such things
to themselves? Why is being called a 'fruit' so insulting? I like
to compare myself to an apple: skin has the odd imperfection but
crunchily healthy overall! God I need to get out more... Davey P -
when do you want a thrashing at tennis?
Dave Wid 10/6/2003, 15:36
Email Not Given
Thank you for the website recommendation. Put me right off my
breakfast.
THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 13:18
Email Not Given
Leave me alone fruit. Go back to flicking through you Thai Ladyboy
Monthly.
THE Ponderer 10/6/2003, 13:8
Email Not Given
Such anger! Why don't you join me in a bare-chested hug - or are
you too afraid of your masculinity?
THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 13:2
Email Not Given
Sorry about that. Its my nut allergy, it makes me angry you see.
THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 11:34
Email Not Given
Ponce off tw*tface. We don't want any of your trouble here. Though
I must admit the Joker needs a bit of a rowting. But as for you, I
can't believe you find the time to post at all, what with you
being so busy givin' your pappa the reacharound. Ponder that,
a-hole.
THE Ponderer 9/6/2003, 17:12
Email Not Given
Am I Mulder to your Scully?
John 9/6/2003, 16:16
Email Not Given
Scully, is that you? I know you haven't got a job at the moment,
but, Christ, there must be something more constructive you could
do.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:9
Email Not Given
A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in
several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:8
Email Not Given
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking
Fine.' So that was nice."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:8
Email Not Given
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other
one off.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum
or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother
Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think its Colin.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you
give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your
oyster, go for it.'
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:6
Email Not Given
Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:6
Email Not Given
Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up
my backside." "Howzat?" "Don't you start."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:5
Email Not Given
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's
have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes,
then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's
really heavy"
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:5
Email Not Given
"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That
sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not
unusual."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
Email Not Given
Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
Email Not Given
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
Email Not Given
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
Email Not Given
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
Email Not Given
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I
know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
Email Not Given
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him
in..
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:2
Email Not Given
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the
steaks are too high."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:2
Email Not Given
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:2
Email Not Given
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for
shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
Ken 7/6/2003, 13:41
Email Not Given
Hello Richard Plamer, best of luck with the Channel 7 Video Fest,
sadly I can't make it but I hope it goes well for you and your
team. Chris Niker was the lighting designer in answer to the
posting made on the 5th June. Kath, I suspect that in the near
future there will be lots of opportunities to act in feature films
in NZ, I think the Tom Cruise has just wrapped The Last Samurai so
hard luck there! However I think that one of the Alexander the
Great features maybe shifting production from the UK/Morocco to
either Oz or NZ. I'll let you know if I hear anything more on the
grapevine.
Mikey H 6/6/2003, 23:21
Email Not Given
can you get me a couple of asprin Dave....I've got a bit of a
headache!
dave 6/6/2003, 17:8
Email Not Given
Lord luv a duck - somebody does something creative and all they
get is slander, no wonder nobody posts anything remotely useful to
the site anymore. I would have thought at least Ken, Justin and Si
might be interested in going? I would be interesed in seeing some
of these Channel 7 films. Has anyone else seen any of Darren or
Richard'swork? (no Channel 7 didn't make 'Swinging Barmaids').
By the way, I can't go - I'm off to France on a drugs run - anyone
want 'owt?
The Pornographer 6/6/2003, 14:12
Email Not Given
Oi, get orft my patch Richy boy, orll yool have yer knees busted
ap faster than you can say Ron Jeremy!
Richard 6/6/2003, 13:38
Email Not Given
You may like to come and see some videos :)
Psi 6/6/2003, 13:18
Email Not Given
Dear Channel 7 bods- I probably would have been able to come with
a shade more notice but unfortunately I have a prior engagement -
best of luck.
Don Hunting 6/6/2003, 12:57
Email Not Given
Why would we do that?
Channel 7 Promotions 6/6/2003, 12:30
Email Not Given
So is anyone planning a visit to Huntingdon tomorrow ... ?
Kath in NZ 6/6/2003, 16:25
kath_whibley@hotmail.com
Hey, and hi to all from kiwi land, where it's winter but people
are still wearing shorts! (because they are mad..) Hope everyone
is ok and I hope to see as many as possible when we are over in
the UK in Oct for our wedding. Before then I have exams which is
stinky but then hope to do an acting course for screen acting -
cool hey! Hope to get on some adverts and maybe even Shortland
Street... (what I hear you say...) Turns out the woman running the
course is from the UK and her resume says she did 31 plays at the
Uni of Herts, well she must have been there a while. Does anyone
know her, Sally Spencer-Harris?? She is one of the casting
directors here, so some good contacts would be great. Bye for now,
I'm off work now, Friday night down the boozer. Take care one and
all. Kath
George the tech director in the check shirt 5/6/2003, 12:31
Email Not Given
RICHAAAAARD!
The Telletubies Man 5/6/2003, 12:4
Email Not Given
Where have all the Dave Patrics gone?
The te 5/6/2003, 12:3
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
The te 5/6/2003, 12:3
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
The te 5/6/2003, 12:3
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Oh and ..... 5/6/2003, 11:37
Email Not Given
.....didn't we have a colour blind lighting guy?
Dave Wid 5/6/2003, 11:36
Email Not Given
What a freaky coincidence. A combination of postings of 'It's oh
so quiet' by Bjork is instantly followed by a reminiscence of
Darren and Richard doing sound. A similar experience to Bjorks
song as I remember. Long periods of quiet nay silence interrupted
only by blasts of feedback and the odd occasional shout from
Justin.........'Here Richard!..... No! Here! ....... Thankyou!'
Richard 5/6/2003, 0:26
Email Not Given
Does anyone remember Darren (Mr Sound man) Lalonde ? If so you may
be interested to see his latest acting role at the channel 7 film
festival this weekend!
Bjorn Again 4/6/2003, 22:4
Email Not Given
You're all alone .... ...
Bjorn Bjork 4/6/2003, 15:49
Email Not Given
It's oh so still... shhh, shhh...
Bjork 4/6/2003, 15:21
Email Not Given
It's oh so quiet shhhh shhhh.......
Dino 4/6/2003, 11:20
Email Not Given
Si I can recommend that link on the right...just have a box of
tissues handy.
Simon H 3/6/2003, 17:3
Email Not Given
Has anyone checked out the girl who presents Newsround sometimes
?? Not wishing to dis my childhood but I wish I'd was a kid
nowadays - living in the 'sex even sells kids TV programmes'
generation. And what about that new Emma Bunton video eh ? Cor
blimey guv'nor - she's a saucy one she is. And what about these so
called 'porn' films ? I haven't seen any mysellf but they sound
like a lot of fun.
Monotone Voiceover Man 3/6/2003, 11:38
Email Not Given
goodbye...
Oh and another thing...... 3/6/2003, 11:38
Email Not Given
Apparently the BoohBaaaaarrrrrrghhs! are maintaining their
reputation of Most Disturbing Childrens Television Ever with an
episode involving Gandpappa and Escaped Mental Patient playing
jazz on a giant foam keyboard..........
Dave Wid 3/6/2003, 11:35
Email Not Given
Just let you all know that sometime in September Stone Revellers
are gonna get all serious and will be doing 'An Enemy of the
People' by Ibsen. I may well be on directorial duties so it may be
nice to see a few of you up here. I'll let you know the dates when
they come through. Oh and Dave, do we owe you any money for Edin?
Noz will deffo have a room and I think Kate will come too.
Dino 3/6/2003, 10:14
Email Not Given
So can you Reveal you who are? Real or False?
The True Revealer 3/6/2003, 9:31
Email Not Given
Today I will reveal that I do not make website recommendations, it
is true, it is Reevealed!
dave 2/6/2003, 22:36
Email Not Given
How long does it run for Sir Gary? Has it got that bloke in it
who's camp as Christmas?
Gary 31/5/2003, 11:23
gary@garystevenson.co.uk
Hi all. 'My' theatre club (Teddington Theatre Club) is doing a
production of Cabaret this week at the Hampton Hill Playhouse. It
looks like it's going to be an excellent show. Some tickets still
available during the week. Sunday might still have a few left. If
you're interested in going let me know and I'll get tickets etc.
Cost £10. Caroline: It's much better than that one we saw in
Edinburgh!
Slon 30/5/2003, 17:7
Email Not Given
Have a luvverly weekend everyone.
John 30/5/2003, 16:51
Email Not Given
I'll take that as a no.
John 30/5/2003, 12:24
Email Not Given
I'm just off to the Green Farm in Hilsea, Portsmouth, for a spot
of lunch. Anyone care to join me?
Simon H 30/5/2003, 0:10
Email Not Given
Sorry about that last one - not a nice word........... week.
Simon H 30/5/2003, 0:10
Email Not Given
Euphanism shoephamism. Give me a f*ck, wa*k, t*ss, c*nt any day of
the week
dave 30/5/2003, 0:8
Email Not Given
la de la de la la la.
Surely not... 29/5/2003, 16:52
Email Not Given
She seemed like a shy girl when they met, but a few drinks later,
they were tickling the canoe.
Oo, er whoops. 29/5/2003, 13:26
Email Not Given
She seemed like a shy girl when they met, but a few drinks later,
they were tweaking the moist egg.
dave 29/5/2003, 13:26
Email Not Given
I see what you mean Psi (see Website link). Only a machine could
come up with the phrase 'refinishing the lucky buttery brakes'?
Ken - I would welcome if we have indeed 'dropped to the level of
toilet humour' as a promotion.
John 29/5/2003, 12:5
Email Not Given
I can just imagine a chorus line of foul-looking orcs making inept
attempts at graceful synchronisation...or am I simply remembering
past UHDS productions?
Simon H 29/5/2003, 11:56
Email Not Given
I'm still waiting for the musical version of Platoon.
Ken 29/5/2003, 11:38
Email Not Given
Oh dear, have we now dropped to the level of toilet humour...and
now for something completely different, I have heard rumours of a
musical theatrical version of Lord of the Rings, I'm looking
forward to the rousing Helm's Deep chorus number.
Dave Wid 28/5/2003, 18:22
Email Not Given
Then go outside instead sitting indoors on the net!
Liz 28/5/2003, 17:19
Email Not Given
Hurrah Hurrah I'm off on holiday - and its sunny Hurrah Hurrah.
Dave Wid 27/5/2003, 18:7
Email Not Given
Cheers for the Clifton N-W lowdown. Nice to know that he's in the
usual perfect health of a Stoke forward. Also for those of you who
aren't interested in footy, can I let you know that the Boobahs
are now available on DVD.............
Dino 27/5/2003, 17:29
Email Not Given
I'm sorry...what standard was that exactly? Revealer - do your
stuff...!
Simon H 27/5/2003, 17:13
Email Not Given
What - Justin got married?
dave 27/5/2003, 15:57
Email Not Given
So Steve, sorry to hear you can't play - incidentally you would
have been on the same side as the blonde this time. Please - no
more terrible links to flash movies - we're trying to raise the
standard a little.
Slon 27/5/2003, 15:21
Email Not Given
No,Yes,Yes and No
Simon H 27/5/2003, 13:42
Email Not Given
Mmmmm.... hot wax on nipples....
Simon H 27/5/2003, 13:41
Email Not Given
Sion mate - how are you ? Actually - Sion/Ken - Give us the gossip
update from MK. Any new family additions rumoured ? Any sightings
of international jet-setting F1 IT girl Shona ? Has Justin
secretly wedded in an Elvis chapel Las Vegas yet ? Have you
undertaken a welcome to MK party for Psi reminiscent of a US frat
house ceremony - being spanked by big paddles and having hot wax
dripped on his nipples ?
Slon 27/5/2003, 13:35
Email Not Given
A firm fave in the Hughes camp, the legendary Mr Bob Hope is 100
on Thursday. Visit bobhope.com for more.
Dino 27/5/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
I'm sorry to announce that I can't play the footy on July 5th due
to a wedding invitation in Manchester. I was so looking forward to
zipping past the blonde girly-locked, barrel-chested full back too
Guess I'll have to read all about it here instead! :-(
Ann Dee 27/5/2003, 11:0
Email Not Given
Also worth mentioning he suffers from arthritis which may hamper
his progress around the pitch. Has deceptive speed, is actually a
lot slower than he looks. I take it you've returned Mr Thomas
Mooney?
Ken 27/5/2003, 9:21
Email Not Given
Dave Wid, Gifton N-W is a good player and I'm sorry to see him go,
however he never fully recovered from a career threatening
injury...however I still think that he is good enough for Div 1
and will score goals for you.
Dave Wid 25/5/2003, 21:56
Email Not Given
Quick query Ann Dee and Ken, is Gifto Noel-Williams any good? We
appear to have signed him from the Hornets...... Or have the
potters signed another duffer?
dave 24/5/2003, 13:37
Email Not Given
Well done to Pete Hawes and the rest of the team for the
production last night of 'It's Not Funny', Brian, Si Hopes/
Bennett and I went to see it last night. For those of you who
don't know Pete, Steve, Helen, Carla, Richele and Naomi (the cast)
were all involved in UHDS from about 94/95 onwards (Long after
most of us old farts had cleared off). Although there was some
crossover with the Summer Shakespeare and plays such as 'Our
Country's Good'. Tom, James, KevT, Q and Raoul were Tech crew last
night and the set looked tidier than Psi's living room - as I
harshly pointed out.
Name the Saturday morning show..... 24/5/2003, 11:7
Email Not Given
Hey you! Get ready, get on the steet.....
Ralph Wiggum 24/5/2003, 1:31
Email Not Given
It says 'Lets Bee Friends' and there's a picture of a Bee on it...
Nelson Muntz 24/5/2003, 1:30
Email Not Given
Ha ha.
LE Burge 23/5/2003, 9:48
Email Not Given
What's the point? I heard it wasn't funny
dave 23/5/2003, 14:53
Email Not Given
Brian and I are going to trya nd get tickets to see 'It's Not
Funny' tonight. Anyone else going to see it? GIve me a shout if
you are.
Bad Joke Critic Critic 23/5/103, 10:12
Email Not Given
No need to repeat yourself - we disagreed with you the first time.
Bad joke critic 23/5/2003, 8:47
Email Not Given
They're just like jokes...but without the comedy.
Bad joke critic 23/5/2003, 8:47
Email Not Given
They're just like jokes...but without the comedy.
dave 23/5/2003, 0:55
Email Not Given
Hello
Bad Joke Psycho 22/5/2003, 17:39
Email Not Given
Horse walks in to a bar. Barman asks 'Whats with the long face?'
The horse turns out to be a rabid flesh eater and rips the barmans
throat out whilst winnying in delight......
Bad Joke Boy 22/5/103, 16:7
Email Not Given
Bull walks into a china shop. What can I do for you? Asks the
Shopkeeper. I'm just grazing, says the bull.
Bad Joke Boy 22/5/103, 16:5
Email Not Given
One good pull deserves another.
Bad Joke Boy 22/5/103, 16:3
Email Not Given
To keep 'em keen - teat 'em mean!
Bad Joke Boy 22/5/103, 16:3
Email Not Given
Pull the udder one.
The Bull-Milker 22/5/2003, 15:48
Email Not Given
I love my job. I am a dirty, dirty man.
Dino 22/5/103, 14:53
Email Not Given
I've just posted a letter -if you could open it, you could
understand it, 'cos its written in English. Hope that makes you
feel better.
John 22/5/2003, 14:3
Email Not Given
Could somebody please post something I can understand. It's all
getting very strange and I feel lost.
Dino 22/5/103, 13:46
Email Not Given
What's George Best doing down in the basement? On his birthday? I
don't understand?
Kang 22/5/2003, 10:18
Email Not Given
What's wrong with Martians?
Let's all Panic 21/5/2003, 17:20
Email Not Given
It's all a conspiracy I tell ya. The martians/masons are going to
take over the planet - in fact they're all here - thy're all in
power. Most of them work for Microsoft and Sainsburys. They cause
widespread confusion by confusion marketing. I mean how difficuly
can it be to buy household cleaner? Or paint, or ice cream - I
mean, have you seen the choice nowadays? It's staggering. If
you've ever been to a DIY shop and tried to choose paint, I mean
how many different sorts do you need. Two, one for inside and one
for outside, oh and one for wood, and a gloss, er and a matt, and
possibly some hammerite and some fire resistant. Anyway, they're
here I tell you - they are making the new eSure commercials as we
speak. They're already on their high seats, in power, oh yes-
don't think they're not. They're all around and they're coming to
get me and you and all of us. So watch out. Michael Winner - he's
the ringleader, he has lasers for eyes - just watch out and don't
say I didn't warn you. Best go down into the basement and build a
shelter.
Dino 21/5/103, 17:20
Email Not Given
Davey: R u around tomorrow morn? I'm driving through and thought
I'd pop in if that's okay?
Mrs Foster 21/5/2003, 17:12
Email Not Given
Thats just typical of him he never tells me anything.
Albert's dead 21/5/103, 15:52
Email Not Given
Sorry to break the news
Mrs Foster 21/5/2003, 14:44
Email Not Given
You're no daughter of mine. Now get off this website and do your
homework. Simon H, I love commercials and think they are great oh
that Mr Muscle fella, I just wish my Albert had a body like his.
Simon H 21/5/2003, 13:42
Email Not Given
Just acommercial ! JUST A COMMERCIAL ! It's nothing less than a
ravage of your inner psyche. They manipulate your sub-conscious
and lead your senses into doing things you don't really want to
do. And before you know it, you've bought a box of Bold 3 in 1 and
started shopping at Sainsburys in the hope that Jamie Oliver might
be there.
Michael Loser 21/5/103, 9:35
Email Not Given
Hi - Im his alter ego - how are you today?
Michael Winner 21/5/2003, 3:3
Email Not Given
eSure am up late tonight. In fact I'm talking to myself. I better
go to bed. Goodnight everyone apart from Kath and Si Burges who
will be in sensible time zones.
Julia Foster 21/5/2003, 3:2
Email Not Given
Hello mum.
Dave Wid 21/5/2003, 1:3
Email Not Given
Calm down, it's just a commercial..
Simon H 20/5/2003, 17:14
Email Not Given
I'll have you know that without marketing professionals, they'd be
no shouting at the pointless advertising on television in the
evenings - hence aliviating stress levels built up at work during
the day. Yes. MY JOB IS POINTLESS
Simon 20/5/2003, 17:12
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Dino 20/5/103, 15:56
Email Not Given
Now come on Wid...we all know that you charge more than just a
couple of pies for your services...legend has it you're friends
with Simple Simon!
Dave Wid 20/5/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
...and if the bottom ever fell out of teaching, I could offer the
useful service of being able to make an electricity meter so that
Caro can monitor her energy consumption accurately and purchase
her electricity from the most competitive utility provider in the
deregulated market. All for a pie or two.
John 20/5/2003, 15:18
Email Not Given
OK, there are a few exceptions...medical people, teachers,
etc...but you know what I mean.
Dino 20/5/103, 15:18
Email Not Given
..or John, in my case, no job, and no damn use to anyone...but
thanks for the thought...
John 20/5/2003, 15:13
Email Not Given
What we've come up against here is the painful truth that none of
us have jobs that are actually of any use to anyone.
Mikey H 20/5/2003, 15:0
Email Not Given
…but there again, having entered your weird little world….. I
could build Caro a shed to sell her meat pies from….. Meg could
provide medical cover if Caro burnt her finger (or indeed if any
customers got food poisoning), Liz Smiff could provide all the
Avon makeup to make Caro look even more beautiful than she already
is, Ken could make the adverts for TV & to screen on Daves
website…..
Dino 20/5/103, 14:58
Email Not Given
Si - You forgot that Caroline makes a damn nice cup of tea too -
wouldn't want anyone dying of thirst either...and cups of tea can
be drunk up to 20 times a day...I should know! I can also serve in
the shop that Caroline now owns to sell meat pies and tea and dave
can...erm...drive the van around that delivers the meat pies and
tea to hungry construction workers, who build the houses that Dave
& Caro, Steve & Cazz and Si now live in! Meanwhile Steve hosts a
damn popular quiz nite, with special guest appearances by Psi and
Dave who make the third round (the music round) so devilishly
difficult that the contestants need even more tea to think. Its
all coming together nicely! Si...I think you have it!
Mikey H 20/5/2003, 14:51
Email Not Given
Si, May I suggest you get out a little bit more!
dave 20/5/2003, 14:9
Email Not Given
Good luck to Act 2 tonight - we will definitely try and catch one
of the next 5 nights!
Simon H 20/5/2003, 13:49
Email Not Given
... and I didn't mean that that's all Caroline can do - make meat
pies. I'm sure she can but she's actually in marketing but I
needed a food manufacturer to make the example work or everyone
would die of starvation. Okay - give me a mo on this one but the
theories are sound (ish)
Simon H 20/5/2003, 13:46
Email Not Given
Hang on- I need to think about this a bit more.
Simon H 20/5/2003, 13:45
Email Not Given
I've got it - Gather round everyone - this is how we make our
lives better. We form a Madhatters Business Commune. We all throw
into the forum our skills and SERVICE each other REGULARLY trading
our services with no money changing hands. But of course we won't
need money because we will be trading. Here's how it works.
Example A: Dave has a business mangement issue. Steve needs a
website so David trades a website for a business management
solution. Caroline makes meat pies (okay she doesn't do that at
the moment but its an option). Dave Wid is a maths teacher.
Caroline trades her meat pies for some limited pre-university
level maths tuition. Steve and Dave also need to eat so Caroline
also trades her meat pies for some business management advice from
Steve (so she can make more meat pies) and she gets a website from
Dave (so she can advertise her meat pies to other members of the
commune). Now, Psi comes along with er.. er... a great deal of
knowledge in the planning and execution of mass rail-based rapid
transit systems for densely populated urban areas. But he can't
add up... and he needs to eat a pie...........
Dino 20/5/2003, 11:54
Email Not Given
"aheres Tuesday's Gone?"???? What the blue-blazes f&%$-type of
sentence is that! Surely even Maths teachers should know how to
string a couple of words together into a coherent sentence! Wots
the whirlled cumin too?
Dave Wid 20/5/2003, 11:34
Email Not Given
Oh and Steve, I was in no doubt at all...
Dave Wid 20/5/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
Isn't the week flying by, aheres Tuesday's Gone?
Steve Deaville 19/5/2003, 17:45
s.deaville@mailcity.com
Hiya everyone. Just a quick reminder that tomorrow night is the
first show of 'Its Not Funny', the second show from Act 2. We saw
many of you for our last performance, and would dearly love to see
more of you for this one. So if you fancy an entertainging
evening, come along to the show. It is running for 5 nights from
Tuesday 20th Saturday 24th May. Hope to see many of you in the
audience. Steve
Steve Phipps 19/5/103, 14:27
Stephen_phipps@hotmail.com
Just in case you were in any doubt....that was me wot posted that
last message...!
Unknown Person 19/5/103, 14:25
Email Not Given
Bank Holiday Sunday evening...do you often waste it going down
the pub? Well why not sup some beers at my Monthly Quiz Night -
which takes place this BH Sunday (25th) at
Enfield Lawn Tennis Club, entry from 7p.m. 4 people per team
max. Quiz rounds consist of General Knowledge, Sports, Specialist
and Music, with separate Footy Quick Pick and "Play Your Cards
Right" (current prize total £50), with music, cash prizes and
cheap bar - what a way to spend your Sunday evening! And it's just
a stone's throw from junction 24 (Potters Bar) turnoff of the M25
(head for "Enfield - A1005). Give me a shout if you're interested
and want to know more. Dave: Is it okay to borrow the amp & stuff
again? Are you going away - do I need to pick it up before the
weekend?
Ran Dee 19/5/2003, 14:14
Email Not Given
Monday I'll fly away
Susanna Hoffs 19/5/2003, 12:28
Email Not Given
I always feel a bit 'manic' on Mondays
sir bob 19/5/2003, 12:11
Email Not Given
I don't like Mondays
mikey h 19/5/2003, 11:40
Email Not Given
Mornin' ..don't we just love Mondays!
Dave Wid 19/5/2003, 11:32
Email Not Given
Indeed, good morning everyone.
jolyon 19/5/2003, 10:26
Email Not Given
morning,
dave 19/5/2003, 10:24
Email Not Given
Good morning.
dave 15/5/2003, 19:32
Email Not Given
Good to know Simon - well done! Steve, sorry can't make tomorrow -
how crap is that!
Le Burge 15/5/2003, 10:13
Email Not Given
Hmm, the time stamp of my postings makes it a bit difficult to be
anonymous - B'ah. Anyway, some of you will be pleased to know I've
sorted out watching the Cup Final on Saturday, 7am start.
The Leaver 15/5/2003, 10:12
Email Not Given
They've left
The Ignorer 15/5/2003, 15:3
Email Not Given
No-one's used this site since 12:20 today - where have they all
gone?
John 15/5/2003, 13:22
Email Not Given
Oh, they're back. Forget that question. In fact, ignore me
totally.
John 15/5/2003, 13:20
johnmichaelwyatt@yahoo.com
What's happened to the bits round the edges?
Dino 15/5/2003, 12:20
Email Not Given
Davey P: Are we playing tomorrow? I need to know cos I have
arrangements to make otherwise.
Dino 15/5/2003, 11:58
Email Not Given
That's true - I've been that way ever since I was born...older
than you, that is...
Dave Wid 15/5/2003, 11:48
Email Not Given
Sorry. Didn't mean to offend. I know you can't help being old.
Dino 14/5/103, 15:40
Email Not Given
I'm most insulted and demand an apology you varlet - else I'll
boycott the site in an harrumph and go and sit in a corner
sulking.
Dave Wid 14/5/2003, 15:18
Email Not Given
Is this some type of veterans tournament?
Dino 14/5/103, 9:26
Email Not Given
Davey: Only if you can make it prompt at 10 am 'cos I have to be
finishing up by 12:00?
Davis FitzP 13/5/2003, 22:51
Email Not Given
But eloquent to the last David... I think that Simon needs to come
back here and sit down in front of ITV1 at 3.15pm, that would
shock him.
As for mis-spellings on the site, well it's par for the course and
no-one can correct them apart from me, hah.
I do hope you manage to find a 'Sports Bar' on Saturday - it's not
every day that your footy team makes the FA cup, bad luck being in
America really. Me, I've got a Speakeasy wedding (yes they're
still coming in) in Cheltenham. I will be finding a TV screen in
the hotel bar whilst Nathan, Stu, Jonh and Robbie launch into
their eighth rendition of 'Total Jazz' because someone forgot to
bring the music.
Dave Wid 13/5/2003, 19:8
Email Not Given
Who gives a flying f*ck how its spelt, I'm a maths teacher.
Le Burge 13/5/2003, 10:51
Email Not Given
I'm really confused. No sign of BoohBahs on a TV over here. And
what's all this wanky Star Wars talk? B'ah! Also, Mr Wid, infinite
is spelt, well, like that and Shakespeare is generally recognised
as having 'e'. Probably explains some of his plays. Anyway, Still
trying to find a pub that will be open at 7am in San Diego and has
an interest in English footy so I can watch the FA Cup. I dod
remember the '76 final but it's become a very distant memory and
I'm sure it'll be replaced in my head with something else soon
dave 13/5/2003, 17:1
Email Not Given
Steve - despite my best attempts to organise myself to be in a
position to play Tennis, alas I am unable to do it tomorrow
morning. I have just been deluged with an unfeasibly large task,
however would Friday morning be better?
Dino 13/5/2003, 14:40
Email Not Given
Dave: are we playing tennis tomorrow morning?
Dino 13/5/2003, 14:38
Email Not Given
Okay, Okay...It was a crap attempt at humour that backfired on
me...enough already!
Simon H 13/5/2003, 14:14
Email Not Given
Dino - as soon asd I've found a dictionary I'll work out what you
think the meaning of life is. I hate clowns as well Dave. But I
hate dolls more. In fact the only thing worse than clowns and
dolls is clown dolls. The Boo Barrs are like watching a traffic
accident. I can't stand it but I'm intrigued how it ever got
further than a concept discussion. In fact I waould have paid
money to sit in at the initial pitch meeting to ITV. "Well,
there's these 5 mute obese aliens who come down from their planet,
do some limited aerobics moves and then f*ck off again. What do
you think ?? No ? Not interested ? Try this Acid enhanced cola
drink. Ahhh yes... now you get it."
Dave Wid 13/5/2003, 12:21
Email Not Given
Incredible Dave, You've left an unintentional capitals message
that makes infinately more sense than any of Dino's - 'Ibb, I'm
LG. Mmm, I Ibb TV, MB.' Cor, we should give you an infinate number
of typewriters so you can knock out a bit of Shakespear.
Clown me 13/5/2003, 12:17
Email Not Given
dave 13/5/2003, 12:12
Email Not Given
I finally got to watch the Booh Bahs yesterday. I am frightened.
Mrs Lady and Grandpapa were both trying to open opposite sides of
a door at the same time. Meanwhile, escaped mental patient Mr Man,
was looking very worrying indeed. I would keep away from him if I
was a Booh Bah. Speaking of frightening childrens TV programming,
has anyone seen the new Mcdonalds advert with the clown? Be
afraid, be very afraid.
dave 13/5/2003, 12:8
Email Not Given
Steve - that would be great if you could do the goalie thing.
Cheers. As for what's going on on the site, I still don't
understand - even if you try and rearrange JEDI WANK DOES BRIAN OF
COURSE into a sentence it doesn't make any sense - even if you're
Yoda. Steve P - I am intrigued now, please explain.
Mr Missunderstanding 12/5/2003, 19:3
Email Not Given
Film the event? For my arse?
Steve F. 12/5/2003, 15:24
Email Not Given
Blimey. I have to say I'm an occasional reader of this chat room
and an extremely rare contributor, but now I'm really confused. I
have no idea what any of you are on about let alone who any of you
are, what with your code names. (Any chance of an ID revealer page
on the site Dave?) Gutted I missed the party on Sat, assuming you
all had a whale of a time. Hope Caro had a great B'Day. 30 eh?
Happens to the best of us. What''s occuring with this football
match then? If anybody wants a very bad goal keeper that doesn't
know the rules (as every other time) then let me know.
Alternatively, am quite happy to film the event for posteriority!!
The BoohBahs 12/5/2003, 15:35
Email Not Given
Bffwee....... Bffare.... Bfffsatans..... Bfffmissionaries......
Dino 12/5/2003, 14:37
Email Not Given
Davey: It wasn't a slag-off more of an ignorant observation
(ignorant, because I have no idea and frankly don't wish to know
whether it's true or not). If I thought Brian actually took me
seriously then I would publicly apologise to him on this site.
Sorry Brian. There, that's made a huge deal out of that now, and
therefore drawn more attention to it than it deserved. By the way,
who's PondLife?
dave 12/5/2003, 14:1
Email Not Given
It was a great party on Saturday glad so many could make it, yes I
have just recovered from my hangover - Monday afternoon jeez! Dino
- I really don't understand what you are trying to say but maybe
you should e-mail Brian with the message and not post it up here -
that goes for Mr Annoyed to. We have enough trouble with
'PondLife' slagging people off by name on the site. I'd like to
encourage Madhatters back to the forum rather than giving them
further reason to ignore it, which I know a lot of people do. Ah
squiddy.
Dino 12/5/2003, 12:41
Email Not Given
Wid: JEDI! the rest then makes sense (if you've ever watched Star
Wars!)
Ken 12/5/2003, 12:21
Email Not Given
Ditto to what Liz has written.
Dave Wid 12/5/2003, 11:37
Email Not Given
Cool party, had a great time. Hope Dave's hangover has gone now,
guess you're gettin' on a bit mate. Liz, sorry about the wine.
Dino, you still haven't got the hang of it. Query - JED I WANK
DOES BRIAN OF COURSE???
Dino 12/5/2003, 9:55
Email Not Given
JEesus! Did I start something or Wot? And for the record, i didn't
inteNd my capital letters (Knees) at the start of sentences to be
incluDed - as any experienced cOunter-ESpionage agent will tell
you...just ask BRIAN, who OF COURSE, worked for the government
(wink, nudge, nudge)...okay, im getting bored....nice to see all
over weekend, hope u got home okay, we shared a bus with some
racist thugs, an adultering, beery lech, a pasty-faced dr zhivago
look-alike (without the good looks), and mick hucknall....oh, and
the bus was driven by michael schumacher in a dress
Liz 12/5/2003, 9:3
Email Not Given
Thanks for a great party Caroline on Saturday - great to see
everyone. Hope you enjoyed yourself.
dave 10/5/2003, 13:47
Email Not Given
Oh... dear.
mr annoyed 9/5/2003, 20:49
Email Not Given
Bloody hell you'Re IncommunicAdo for Nearly two weeks then Lo and
behOld this Very sitE goeS to the wall. so To cOnclude Can someone
pleAse sTop this Weird And dowNright Kinky behaviour.
Dr. SecretUppercaseMessageLeaver 9/5/2003, 16:50
Email Not Given
What Are you suggestiNg, that a quicK tug Is my game? No, the
shame of it all GIves me much cauSe For reflection, one hopes yoU
are satsified - my bag iNdeed!
The Cat Wanker 9/5/2003, 15:41
Email Not Given
Thats my bag too, baby!
Dr. SecretUppercaseMessageLeaver 9/5/2003, 14:28
Email Not Given
I Would like to cleAr up that last statemeNt. Kindly acknowledge
that one is not in the habit of leaving Crass and confusing
messAges on chaT forumS.
Mrs Confused 9/5/2003, 14:23
Email Not Given
If you want to be pedantic dear - the 'hidden' uppercase message
SHSADDAM CLVES, still doesn't clear it up though. Would you like a
cup of TEA?
FBI 9/5/2003, 14:21
Email Not Given
Watch it, we've got your number. Sonny.
John 9/5/2003, 14:0
Email Not Given
Interesting point, Mr Confused. Dino, would you like to explain
your sinister acronym antics? What if the FBI are watching?
Mr Confused 9/5/2003, 13:58
Email Not Given
SADDAM CLVES? Is that Roman?
dave 9/5/2003, 11:26
Email Not Given
These Booh Bahs are messing with my head. Good Flash animation
though...
Dino 9/5/103, 10:31
Email Not Given
Si H: The meaning of life iS commonly mistAken for an
introspective inverberation personifieD by collective
misDegititation And espoused throughout diaspora coMmunes
worldwide. CoupLed with probescIte concerns and everyday
perambulatory conflagellations it usually works out VEry
diScombobulatory as well! I hope that clears it up?
John 9/5/2003, 10:5
Email Not Given
Simon H, the meaning of life exercised the finest minds in human
history for centuries - until the Pythons cleared it all up in a
film a few years ago. It's all about not having that last waffer
thin chocolate mint.
The BoohBahs 9/5/2003, 10:4
Email Not Given
Bffmmcatcher.... Bffmmin...... Bffmmthe... Bffmmrye
THE Ponderer 9/5/103, 9:27
Email Not Given
Censorship BoohBahs! Its a thin edge of a slippery wedge and akin
to taking a bed bath with Saddam Hussein! Mark my words itll be
tears at bedtime.
Mr Obvious 9/5/103, 9:21
Email Not Given
42
Simon H 8/5/2003, 16:48
Email Not Given
Has anyone else worked out the meaning of life ? I just need to
compare a few notes.
Dave Wid 8/5/2003, 13:0
Email Not Given
Looking forward to fun and frolics this weekend. Good to get away.
I hate kids.
The BoohBahs 7/5/2003, 19:17
Email Not Given
Bfffmmour..... Bfffmmessage....... Bffmmdisappeared
Dino 7/5/103, 10:12
Email Not Given
Oooo...get him!
Mr Stuckinthelift 6/5/2003, 19:20
Email Not Given
It's okay, Jones from Marketing managed to get the lift doors open
using a combination of 'mystic chants' and engineering tricks
whilst whistling dance tune 'Breakout' by Swing Out Sister. We
crawled through the gaps between the floor and the lift roof. I
blame 'Otis'. It's difficult when you're in such close 'Proximity'
with another member of staff in a lift. You have to be 'Strong'.
Mr Stuckinthefridge 6/5/2003, 17:1
Email Not Given
You think YOU'VE got problems?
Mr Stuckinthelift 6/5/2003, 12:4
Email Not Given
I'm stuck in the lift. I wonder if you could get someone to assist
me? I've been here for a while now.
Dave Wid 6/5/2003, 11:49
Email Not Given
Oh ha-de-ha. Last time I'm going to be nice about Scumchester
United. Speaking of nudity in the arts, I saw the Blue Room last
night with Tracy (spinners are winners) Shaw and Jason (robin of
sherwood) Connery. All I can say is that it must have been cold on
stage.
Dino 6/5/103, 8:43
Email Not Given
The sweet smell of success and the lovely sight of Gooners crying
into their lager tops! Very satisfying, if somewhat tempered by
our lack of success in the Champion's League again this year.
Thanks for the help guys, well, obviously, without an Equity card,
I'm fairly limited to extras work - so any references to agencies
that don't rip you off but do offer periodic opportunities would
be handy. Si: What kind of nudity? Full frontal, upper waist, or
cleverly artistic? Wid: Congrats to Stoke - What league are they
in now? Does this mean they can go semi-professional like Watford?
Dave Wid 5/5/2003, 12:55
Email Not Given
Oh, I got a job too for September. Ahh.
Dave Wid 5/5/2003, 12:54
Email Not Given
O Happy Day. Happy Birthday Caro, Jane and Sam. And Happy Stoke
City Survival to me. I'm even in a good enough mood to
congratulate Dino on the success of MUFC. O Happy Day.
Simon H 5/5/2003, 10:55
Email Not Given
Dino - there's that extras agency I mentioned £70 a day
apparently.
Simon H 5/5/2003, 10:51
Email Not Given
Yes Dave and Dino - I do know a little project that could employ
both your services. I'm currently starting to produce a project -
working title - is 'Pop Shot Bitch'. Some nudity and physical
activity may be required though.
dave 5/5/2003, 10:45
Email Not Given
My what a busy day for birthdays, May 5th is. I'd like to wish Sam
and Jane a happy birthday as I've already given Caroline her
presents this morning. By the way, does anyone know where I can do
a little TV/Film work while I'm in employment?
Ken 2/5/2003, 15:10
kenneth_rodrigues@yahoo.co.uk
Dino, I do remember all your classic cameo moments, who could
forget you in the VP 1992 film 'Student Life' as 'The Lecturer'
and 'Party goer No 5'. What type of TV/Film work do you want to do
Dino...I might be able to help or at the very least point you in
the right direction.
Dino 2/5/2003, 11:41
Email Not Given
Does anyone know where I can do a little tv/film work while I'm
out of permanent employment? Any offers considered as long as it
doesn't involve me removing my clothes (before Wid came in with
some smart alec retort about becoming a porn star). For a
reference - ask Ken, he has a great memory for all my cameo
appearances!
Dino 2/5/2003, 11:37
Email Not Given
Dave: Some of your "news" items appear to be anything but!
Dino 2/5/2003, 11:34
Email Not Given
Well, Enfield Town won their League at the second attempt, and
also took home a cup. Unfortunately, they can't gain promotion to
the Ryman League until next year once their ground improvements
have been carried out.
dave 2/5/2003, 10:42
Email Not Given
Interesting dichotomy John. Don't think I can offer any
suggestions there.
John 2/5/2003, 10:12
johnmichaelwyatt@yahoo.com
I've got a poltergeist in my oven. What recipe can I cook to
exorcise it and therefore avoid the spinning head/ projectile
vomiting which will otherwise ensue?
Dave Wid 2/5/2003, 0:24
Email Not Given
I thought that you'd quite valiantly tried to right a previous
wrong by further extending your fabulous recent form.
Ann Dee 1/5/2003, 15:32
Email Not Given
Funny to get thanks from a Stoke fan after we did Brighton such
huge favour at the weekend by letting them score 4 without reply.
Up the seagulls!
Mikey H 1/5/2003, 12:40
Email Not Given
Dave - look on the bright side...at least you can look forward to
local derbys between Stoke and Port Vale! And I'm not certain but
the Royals are even rumoured to be including Kingsley the mascot
in the starting line up on Saturday to give Stoke a chance of
staying up!
Dave Wid 1/5/2003, 12:34
Email Not Given
Well thanks to the Hornets, Reading may even rest a few on
Saturday. We're not relegated yet. Not quite yet anyway.
Dino 30/4/2003, 16:41
Email Not Given
Don't worry Dave - I have SARS too...there is always birthday cake
to take away the pain...
GOD 30/4/2003, 15:59
Email Not Given
JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING A BASTARD SH*T FOR BRAINS?
Ken 30/4/2003, 15:45
Email Not Given
Hello Mikey, well it's been a topsy-turvy season for the mighty
Hornets however hope springs eternal and we're casting our wishful
eyes to next season...good luck in the play-offs. Happy birthday
Mr Wid and get well soon.
Mikey H 30/4/2003, 13:14
Email Not Given
Poor Dave.....hope you feel better soon, and are well enough to
appreciate Reading stuffing Stoke on Sunday!!....... come on you
Royals!!......and I hope that Ken isn't too upset when the Royals
beat the once great Watford!!
Dave Wid 30/4/2003, 12:33
Email Not Given
Well I'm ill and its my birthday. Boo hoo. God's a bastard.
Dino 29/4/2003, 17:29
Email Not Given
Santa?
Le Burge 29/4/2003, 9:14
Email Not Given
Glad a couple of you took an interest in the baseball report. I
off to another game this Friday (they're giving away a free
bobblehead of one of the players). Dave, there was no mascot a la
Dancin' Homer and I can't remember him dancing to anything but his
own reggae tune, but that's just my memory talking. By the way,
still can't access the well FTP site. What gives?
dave 28/4/2003, 14:59
Email Not Given
Happy Philday Birth, what are you up to? A nice big cake perhaps,
maybe some disco dancing, jelly and ice-cream?
Simon H 23/4/2003, 20:56
Email Not Given
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Dave Wid 23/4/2003, 12:27
Email Not Given
Hey cheers Dave.
Lesley 22/4/2003, 19:51
Email Not Given
Many thanks for Aragorn - I think that's definitely worth 100
swiss clubbing girls - maybe more.
Dave Wid 22/4/2003, 19:12
Email Not Given
Well that was a waste of my life. Try and put it right Davey. Oh
well, at least Stoke may not be relegated.
Dave Wid 22/4/2003, 19:9
Email Not Given
To further re-address the sexual imbalance of the site, here's a
picture of a bloke with a big cock.....
Steve Phipps 22/4/2003, 14:44
stephen_phipps@hotmail.com
What's that? A quiz you say? Luverly jubbly! My Monthly Quiz Night
takes place this Sunday (27th) at
Enfield Lawn Tennis Club, entry from 7p.m. 4 people per team
max. Quiz rounds consist of General Knowledge, Sports, Specialist
and Music, with separate Footy Quick Pick and "Play Your Cards
Right" (current prize total £25), with music, cash prizes and
cheap bar - what a way to spend your Sunday evening! And it's just
a stone's throw from junction 24 (Potters Bar) turnoff of the M25
(head for "Enfield - A1005). Give me a shout if you're interested
and want to know more. Dave: Is it okay to borrow the amp & stuff
again?
Simon H 22/4/2003, 14:30
Email Not Given
Je suis tres desole - I think - my French isn't that good.
dave 22/4/2003, 13:29
Email Not Given
Lesley - in the interest of sexual balance here's your picture.
Is that worth 100 Swiss clubbing girls?
dave 22/4/2003, 13:14
Email Not Given
Simon, that's okay just remember to use closing tags - i.e. in
this case </b> when you are coding HTML into the page. Also
I didn't recommend that website so the ownership that you have
just inferred on me is incorrect.
Simon H 22/4/2003, 13:13
Email Not Given
Oh arse Dave - I'm sorry mate - In trying to be clever and embed a
link in the text (so not to push your very dull website off the
website recommendation list) I've screwed the page up again.
Apologies to previous messagers who were emphasising things with
bold.
Simon H 22/4/2003, 13:11
Email Not Given
Speaking of which Zurich Club Girl lovers - it looks like THEY'VE
UPDATED IT. WOO HOO ! Some definite new photos in amongst that
lot. Check it out at
http://www.beautifulzueri.blogspot.com
Simon H 22/4/2003, 13:5
Email Not Given
Si - your knowledge of baseball now far outstrips mine. Used to
watch a lot of late night stuff in the mid-90s but not so much
now. Would love to see a game if I ever get out to the States.
Dave - what HAVE you been trying to buy now ?
dave 22/4/2003, 11:17
Email Not Given
Si - do they have an organist at the game playing that song, the
one that 'Dancing Homer' struts along to?
Does anyone know what a 'matrix that really works' refers to (see
Website recommendations)
Le Burge 21/4/2003, 16:16
Email Not Given
At least Psi and Si Hopes understood (probably) and were maybe
even a little interested....
Le Burge 21/4/2003, 10:12
Email Not Given
Well, the Dodgers finally got their offence working with a 16-4
destruction of the Giants last evening. The Dodgers were down 4 by
the top of the fourth but the game turned on a field error by the
Giants, allowing the Dodgers to fill two bases and then score with
a double from the next hitter up at the plate....Actually, it was
a surprisingly exciting game and, dispite the fact that Dodger
stadium is a congretion point for all the major LA gangs, there's
never any trouble, no crowd segregation, a kind of 50's throwback
with the singing of "Take me back to the Ball Game" during the 7th
inning stretch and the strongest hurled insult is "Giants suck!"
along with Barry Bonds getting boo'ed.
John 18/4/2003, 3:43
johnmichaelwyatt@yahoo.co.uk
Simon, you have my respect for posting up the Swiss girls thing.
Could you send it back to me, as I might need to respect something
else over easter - possibly my parents or other people's religious
beliefs. Incidentally, the email I gave out earlier was a big fat
lie - it's really johnmichaelwyatt@yahoo.co.uk, not .com as
previously advertised.
Simon H 18/4/2003, 14:57
Email Not Given
Hello - I'm boring and only have a writing one-track mind and have
forgotten how to post pictures up. But I stand by my earlier track
record of posting the Zurich clubbing girls up.
Simon H 18/4/2003, 14:51
Email Not Given
Just a long shot this - but does anyone happen to still have a two
part TV drama that aired in 2000 on video tape ? It was called
Manhunt: The search for the Yorkshire Ripper. Would REALLY help me
out if anyone still had it.
lesley 17/4/2003, 19:24
Email Not Given
Now much as I admire Kylie for her... talents, in the interest of
gender balance, could we have some gratuitous pictures of Aragorn
posted please. If I'm going to have to wait ages for the chat to
download, I wouldn't mind something interesting to look at!
dave 17/4/2003, 11:35
Email Not Given
Ah, takes me back Bobby Van Husen talking about doing 'The
Boyfriend'. They were happy carefree days, we were younger and had
the rich blood of challenge running through our veins, it was an
uphill struggle to put on, and was one of our first musicals as
the newly formed Drama Society. For those of you who weren't
around back then (and for anyone that was) have a look at
The Boyfriend page. You can leave a comment, etc.
It was a lot of fun, many of us looked comical but it's good to
reminisce. We had a laugh... that was long before emoticons or
even a web site... oh yes.
Dino 17/4/2003, 10:33
Last one...for now
This is the only appropriate answer to that last posting...
hELP 17/4/2003, 2:9
I'm sOrry
Alfred the Dancing Monkey 17/4/2003, 0:44
Email Not Given
Thish ish ma friennd Karl. Ee scgarez chimldren
Alfred the Dancing Monkey 17/4/2003, 0:39
Email Not Given
Gonn't yoo jusht hate clevverr bashftads?
Bobby Van Husen (The Rich and Good Looking American)
17/4/2003, 0:27
Email Not Given
When troubles trouble you, the only thing to do is dance! You
simply gotta dance! Down in the south of France they've got a new
step (ba ba-ba ba ba).........
Le Burge 16/4/2003, 10:5
Email Not Given
Dave - you know too much trivia, including the lyrics to all songs
from The Boyfriend
dave 16/4/2003, 18:27
Email Not Given
Hardly a witty retort but effective nonetheless:
Now, stop it with all these stupid graphics Dino.
Dino 16/4/2003, 14:44
Email Not Given
Couldn't you just guess that some smart arse would
give me a brief history of Amish folk - probably someone who
doesn't get out much and is good at obscure pop trivia......
dave 16/4/2003, 12:19
Email Not Given
Wow, how many threads of conversation at once??
Baseball Well Si, After the Dodger's recent victory over
the D-Backs you've gotta fancy them against the Giants this
weekend, however there is slight concern about the right knee of
RHP Darren Dreifort and, well, even those notorious swirling winds
are blowing the San Francisco Giants' way during their best start
in 85 years.
Nappy Rash Nick -the best way to prevent it is to make sure
that you change Thomas every three hours or if he does a poo to
change him immediately. It's the combination of wee and poo which
does the damage. However if he does get a bit sore I recommend
Johnsons Nappy Rash Cream. You can buy it in a tube or a tub - I
prefer the tube. Apply it as soon as you notice any redness and
then again at the next nappy change - the redness should usually
go by the third change.
Owning two houses Psi - All I can say is, just as your home
is at risk if you do not maintain your mortgage payments, so is a
second property bought with a mortgage to let - i.e. your Hatfield
home. Whilst your domestic mortgage is generally dependent on
continuing earning income, a buy-to-let mortgage will depend on
the ability of tenants to pay the rent. I think you have been
careful not to over-commit, you have sought truly independent
advice from people who understand residential letting and invested
with a long-term perspective, so you will be okay
Amish Widows Steve, the Old Order Amish have basic beliefs
that provide direction and guidance for life and living. The Amish
have a long history, going back to 1697, when Jacob Amman
identified major values within the Old Order Amish fold. Your
point is taken.
Inserting HTML Dave - this can easily be accomplished by
brushing up on a few basic HTML commands, linking to pictures on
other sites can be achieved simply by placing a tag such as <img
src="http://www.yoursite.co.uk/image1.gif"> in this box. However,
be careful not to link to big files as they will break the page
and scupper potential enjoyment for Madhatters.
Dino 16/4/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Bring a touch of colour though, don't you think? Bit like pushing
Wid into a room full of Amish widows.
Psi 16/4/2003, 0:10
Email Not Given
But still only one shed, so that's alright!
Psi 16/4/2003, 0:9
Email Not Given
It's kind of complicated - I haven't actually gone yet. I just now
own two houses.
John 15/4/2003, 7:8
Email Not Given
Nick, couldn't you just borrow some of Thomas's? I'm sure he
wouldn't mind.
Dave Wid 15/4/2003, 20:29
Email Not Given
Ok. Who was it? Come on, own up. Who's been showing dino how to
insert silly icons?
Nick W 15/4/2003, 19:22
Email Not Given
Wedding venues? Pah - try and find a nappy rash cream at a
reasonable cost with all night reliability. It just can't be done.
Any advice?
Le Burge 15/4/2003, 9:28
Email Not Given
Apologies for incorrect use of 's on Dodgers
LeBurge 15/4/2003, 9:27
Email Not Given
Wedding venues at a reasonable cost to suit all requirements?
Don't exist. Emoticons - Dino's tipped the balance. Also, Man U's
manager's Scottish, not French. Or did I miss a line of ironic
sarcasm? Football chat - everyone's entitled to talk about what
they want. Chat doesn't have to be, and usually isn't, relevant to
everyone on the site. Blah. Lovely day today. Off to see the
Dodger's this weekend. Anyone fancy talking about baseball?
Dino 15/4/2003, 17:23
Email Not Given
Okay...send the white coats round...I'll go quietly...
Dino 15/4/2003, 17:22
Email Not Given
Wid kept the footy chat going, I was ready to move on to why
Psi (not Si as I originally thought) is moving to
planned-town-ville...and what's wrong with my emoticons?...this is
what happens when you spend all day, every day in the house,
wasting your life away....
dave 15/4/2003, 16:51
Email Not Given
...or how to find a reasonable wedding venue that suits all of
your requirements without going mad?
dave 15/4/2003, 16:49
Email Not Given
Well, yes whilst I accept there's probably a little too much of it
and that Dino's last posting has probably tipped the balance from
a bit of footy banter (nowt wrong with that) to a full scale
Football chat site and is scaring off the regulars, I'm just glad
that people are talking about something. Perhaps Orville you could
suggest a new topic, like "how much you hate Steve's over
enthusiastic use of emoticons"? Discuss.
Orville 15/4/2003, 16:14
Keithh@rris.co.uk
I wish I could fly, right up to the sky...and I also wish there
was a separate site for football chat. Any chance, Dave? Sorry to
be anonymous, but there's nothing worse than not being a footy fan
for making people hate you.
Dino 15/4/2003, 15:53
Email Not Given
Wid - did you see that bootiful game against Newcastle at the
weekend, and the high scoring game against Liverpool the week
before...personally I don't care if the Manager is an annoying
french twat, as long as Man U take some silverware home this
season, and preferably both the Premiership and the Champion's
League.
dave 15/4/2003, 14:29
Email Not Given
Hi Dave. How are you doing - enjoying the holiday? Are you coming
down on May10th for Caro's birthday party?
Dave Wid 15/4/2003, 13:20
Email Not Given
Not wanting to drag out the whole MU discussion. It's not the side
thats the problem, it's more the manager's arrogance and attitude
of 98% of the fans.
Simon H 15/4/2003, 12:32
Email Not Given
So long and farewell Psi. They'll always be a place for you at my
breakfast table (subject to availability).
Dino 15/4/2003, 11:11
Email Not Given
Si...moved to MK...when did that happen? And why? Nobody tells me
anything!
Liz 15/4/2003, 11:3
Email Not Given
Congrats to Si on his move to MK - sorry we couldn't join you on
Friday but we are around over Easter.
Ken 14/4/2003, 11:35
Email Not Given
A sad Hornet this morning...so close and yet so far. Good luck to
the Saints against the Gunners in Cardiff, you'll need it.
Le Burge 13/4/2003, 11:5
Email Not Given
Oh when the Saints, go marching in.....etc. Gutted that the PPV
networks over here decided to only show the Arsenal game and as a
result of watching that (hoping that the Saints game would follow)
I missed the radio commentary. B'ah!
John 12/4/2003, 22:0
johnmichaelwyatt@yahoo.com
An unbelievably weird weirdo at work has sabotaged my hotmail
address, so if anyone wants to drop anything on my e-doormat, they
can use the new cyber-pseudonym hereby revealed. Sorry, it's a bit
late. God, just realised I'm doing this on a Saturday night. How
sad am I?
dave 11/4/2003, 19:15
Email Not Given
Yeah, quite right Dave, perhaps I should have put a little
emoticon after my post to indicate my mood when I sent it. @->
Actually no, I was just puzzled as usual. Anyway, all I was saying
was that Man U have more full time England players in their
squad than any other team - so knock them at your peril. Even
despite what Andy says after all that fact-finding. Real were
good, very good, almost as good as Exeter on a good day.
Lesley 11/4/2003, 16:14
Email Not Given
Smug note from teacher-land...TWO WEEKS OFF!!
Dave Wid 11/4/2003, 13:16
Email Not Given
Christ, I only meant that Real looked pretty handy in comparison
to MU. Chill out brothers.
LE Burge 10/4/2003, 10:26
Email Not Given
Still - it's a laugh, isn't it? That sound you make when you hear
something funny.
Dino 10/4/2003, 17:24
Email Not Given
Hold on...I didn't even know that Trish was preggers?!?!? Well
blow me down like a limp fish, many congratulations you two! When
I saw that headline, I naturally assumed they'd bought a dog....!
John 10/4/2003, 16:11
Email Not Given
Just noticed the Sweeting news. Let joy be unconfined!
Ann Dee 10/4/2003, 13:2
Email Not Given
The gentrification of the working mans ballet has necessitated the
somewhat cosmopolitan make up of many of the Premierships teams,
from Man Utd to Bolton Wanderers, as well as their counterparts
from overseas. What should be appreciated is the pure footballing
class displayed by Real on the night in question and I don't
believe that by appreciating that their performance and ability
was undeniably superior to Man Utd whilst supporting England at
international level is in any way hypocritical. The two entities
are mutually exclusive - look at Fergusons record in pulling his
players out of internationals - and should be seen as such. Whilst
I always like to see the British clubs doing well in European
competition I also have to applaud when they are soundly beaten by
arguably the best club side ever assembled (despite reservations
about how they fund it). For the record Chelsea boast Le Saux,
Lampard, Terry, Cole and Morris as regular players and Arsenal
have Seaman (Taylor), Cole, Parlour, Keown, Campbell and Jeffers.
It should also be noted that the great Liverpool team of the
eighties had similar numbers of players available for England -
Neal, McMahon, Lee, Barnes.
Dino 10/4/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
Okay, now I know that works, here's the emoticon to go with my
last message...
Test 10/4/2003, 11:30
Email Not Given
Dino 10/4/2003, 11:25
Email Not Given
Well put Davey P - & Ann Dee, Real definately looked beatable, Man
U created enough chances to have scored several more goals - poor
finishing and even poorer defending lead to our demise the other
night. I think, that with Veron back, we have an excellent chance
of winning...seriously! Shame about Becks though.
Le Burge 9/4/2003, 16:4
Email Not Given
Sorry Andy & Ken, it will be the Saints that go marching on to
Cardiff this weekend.
dave 9/4/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Exeter CIty for the drop cup!
dave 9/4/2003, 15:18
Email Not Given
Why all this ManU bashing Mr Wid? For a team that fields regularly
over 5 England players, it's a bit stupid. Now if it was Arsenal
or Chelsea I could understand. If you don't want to be
hypocritical, next time you watch England why not support the
opponents - or do you have Scottish roots?
Oh, hello by the way - long time no hair?
Ann Dee 9/4/2003, 14:9
Email Not Given
No you won't Steve, don't be ridiculous. Bring on the Saints this
weekend, Hornets for Cardiff and the Cup. Mr Wid, we can only
arrange a wager when we have worked out who'd playing, it may be a
Madhatters Invitation XI against a local team.
Dino 9/4/2003, 13:20
Email Not Given
No matter - we'll win 3-0 when the superstar team come to Old
Trafford...!
more Dave Wid 9/4/2003, 12:54
Email Not Given
While we're on the subject of football, it was good to see MU get
a taught a lesson in the beautiful game. Very satisfying. Oh and
Andee and Ken, 4 - 7 away at Burnley? What on earth was going on?
Dave Wid 9/4/2003, 12:51
Email Not Given
Well up for footy. Me and my 'flowing locks' wouldn't miss it for
the world. The thing is though, do we want to make this a little
more interesting with maybe a little wager?
Anna Gram 9/4/2003, 12:2
Email Not Given
UHDS is sane, mad?
Ken 9/4/2003, 11:38
Email Not Given
Hello all I'd just like to say that I am available for selection
for the MH XI.
Simon H 9/4/2003, 11:10
Email Not Given
How about this - did you know if you rearrange the letters of
Saddam Hussein you get 'Mad as uhdsneis' Uncanny eh ?
Simon H 9/4/2003, 11:2
Email Not Given
I got exactly what I wanted for my birthday - two bidets and a
lifetime's subscription to Bunty.
Ann Dee 9/4/2003, 10:32
Email Not Given
But it wouldn't be the same without Ken and his bionic knee or
Dave Wid and his flowing 80's footballer style locks.
dave 8/4/2003, 11:50
Email Not Given
Well, I've had a good response for the football match - apart from
Ken and Dave Wid, everyone else is more or less in. So Sat 5th
July it looks like being.
Yoda 8/4/2003, 10:20
Email Not Given
When nine hundred years you reach, care less about grammar, you
will not.
R2D2 8/4/2003, 9:39
Email Not Given
beep
Dino 8/4/2003, 8:30
Email Not Given
You'd think that R2D2, being a robot, would be able to construct a
sentence with the correct grammar, wouldn't you?!
Dino 8/4/2003, 8:29
Email Not Given
Si - you now also have 'conferred fame'!
Simon H 7/4/2003, 15:15
Email Not Given
Older
Slon 6/4/2003, 22:21
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Si, get anything nice?
Slon 5/4/2003, 13:52
Email Not Given
Incidentally, thanks to Dave & Psi for last weeks pub quiz. Extra
kudos to Psi for the most difficult round of questioning since
Nurenburg.
Simon H 4/4/2003, 8:50
Email Not Given
What's the contoversy ? Olivia Newton-John sleeping with that
English bloke ?
Le Burge 3/4/2003, 9:42
Email Not Given
But I'm sure you'd watch it if you could. Live on Fox Tuesday, 8/7
central. Oh dear.
Le Burge 3/4/2003, 9:39
Email Not Given
Oh, please! And blessed are the Greek, for they shall inherit the
Earth. Sorry, I wasn't going to quote anything but it was that or
talk about the controversy on last night's edition of "American
Idol", but as none of you watch it (except maybe Dave on ITV2),
you wouldn't understand what I was talking about. So how is
everyone?
The Messiah 3/4/2003, 16:24
Email Not Given
I'm NOT the Messiah!
THE Ponderer 3/4/2003, 11:58
Email Not Given
Am I the Ponderer?
THE Ponderer 3/4/2003, 11:53
Email Not Given
Am I Lesley?
John 3/4/2003, 11:17
Email Not Given
I was considering another line from Life of Brian, but it would
have sounded really offensive.
John 3/4/2003, 11:15
Email Not Given
Blessed are the cheesemakers
Lesley 2/4/2003, 20:10
Email Not Given
I'm Brian and so's my wife...
Dino 2/4/2003, 17:8
Email Not Given
Ponderer: If you're rubbish at chess, then, yes, you are Brian.
The Ponderer 2/4/2003, 16:19
Email Not Given
Am I Brian?
dave 2/4/2003, 13:46
Email Not Given
Oh, please...
Dino 1/4/2003, 15:12
Email Not Given
Was that 'love liquid' on the inside or outside of the Hamster?
Simon H 1/4/2003, 15:6
Email Not Given
And I can confirm that both us Hopes brothers do use deoderant - a
special one made from the tears of swans and the love liquid of
hamsters.
Rod, Jane & Freddy 1/4/2003, 14:36
Email Not Given
We'd love to come back and entertain all you lovely kids again!
They never twigged that we were a threesome.
dave 1/4/2003, 13:56
Email Not Given
Yes Steve it is. I can put my hand on my heart and say - on this
of all days - that Badger starred in the Lynx advert and danced
with those rather beautiful girls.
Dino 1/4/2003, 13:45
Email Not Given
Ok - I admit to being a little confused, cos I never met Badger
(Si's brother?), but is it him or are we taking the michael? You
can't just put erroneous info on here and leave it at that!
dave 1/4/2003, 13:25
Email Not Given
Give it the old 'Razzle Dazzle' eh Ronnie?
Simon H 1/4/2003, 12:58
Email Not Given
But then again, I thought that the Horn only had amateur version
of famous rock bands such as The Illegal Eagles, The Counterfeit
Stomes etc. If they go through a heavy metal booking phase we'll
probably just end up with bands like Saxone and Rainbow Revisited.
But just remember that denim and leather brought us all together
and it was you who set the spirit free.
Ronnie James Dio 1/4/2003, 11:51
Email Not Given
Dave, I might not have been in those particular productions that
you listed but I thought you would have at least remembered my
part in the girls chorus line for Chicago.
Simon H 1/4/2003, 12:50
Email Not Given
Led by the power of a dragon and coaxed by the tears of the
princess's sword I will conquer any fortress to be there.
dave 1/4/2003, 11:56
Email Not Given
Okay, I admit it that was me. It wasn't Ronnie James Dio, formerly
of Dio, Rainbow and Black Sabbath. I mean what would he be doing
here, it's not as if he came and helped us out when we were doing
'Grease' or 'The Boyfriend' is it. Dio at Hatfield Poly, fat
chance. Mind you Dio at 'The Horn Reborn' in St Albans - I'll give
it a year.
Ronnie James Dio 1/4/2003, 11:53
itsonlybeenanhour@sincetheylockedherinthetower.com
I'd like to tell you kids about a new form of armpit protection.
Developed in my Wizards and Warlocks Workshop it's my new Diodorant
range. Especially good for the aging rock man adorned in heavy
leather and chainmail. I'd like to recommend it to fellow partners
in rrrrock, duo 'Tenacious D', those cheeky whippersnappers.
Dave Wid 1/4/2003, 9:31
Email Not Given
I didn't think Badger used deoderant.
Mr & Miss The Bleeding Obvious 31/3/2003, 21:24
Email Not Given
Er, beacuse it looks like him.
Dino 31/3/103, 17:37
Email Not Given
Why do you say that is Badger? (Grammatically not good, but with
the emphasis in the right place it does make sense!)
The tomb of the Unknown Person 31/3/2003, 16:46
pronounce in outrageously french accent
'oww you zay. Zeees is funky disco n'est pas? J'aime to Party -
everybody does, oui? Please sending zees Badger our humble fan
mailing. Mange tout.
Unknown Person 31/3/2003, 12:28
Email Not Given
May I extend my congratulations and salutations to Badger for his
stunning appearance in that Lynx commercial and also for
propelling the featured song to Number One on the hit parade.
Unknown Person 31/3/2003, 14:51
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 31/3/2003, 14:51
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Slon 29/3/2003, 9:44
Email Not Given
Psi, got a date for moving yet?
Ken 28/3/2003, 17:1
Email Not Given
Count me in...
dave 28/3/2003, 14:53
Email Not Given
Eh!? Steve - do you remember that time in Ash Drive when 'we smoka
a liddle weed', I didn't know what you were talking about and we
went on to have a non-sensical converse... wibble.
Dino 28/3/2003, 12:4
Email Not Given
Did it respond?
dave 28/3/2003, 12:1
Email Not Given
Abso 'blummin' lutely. May be getting on a bit but can still turn
on a sixpence.
Ann Dee 28/3/2003, 11:59
Email Not Given
Anyone interested in a summer footy match?
Good Looking Lawyer 28/3/2003, 11:9
lovelybush@primewig.co.uk
Hi, I don't exist, but you may remember me from such TV shows as
"LA Law" and "Eastenders". I would liek to represent my client,
Simon Hopes, and categorically state that he hasn't been anywhere
near Iraq within the last 24 hours as far as I am able to
ascertain. Therefore he is innocent. Case proven - Si please send
your fee to me forthwith. Anyone else need defending?
Simon H 27/3/2003, 16:53
Email Not Given
I know good lawyers. Actually I can't confirm that but I certainly
know some very good-looking lawyers.
dave 27/3/2003, 13:29
Email Not Given
Eerie, Simon has the same initials as Saddam. I wonder if the
similarities stop there, or by a process of Bushian extrapolation
we could pin the crimes of the whole of humanity on him?
Dino 27/3/103, 13:3
Email Not Given
Si - I put you as a Peter Cetera kind of guy...
Saddam Hussein 27/3/2003, 12:44
Email Not Given
ROOM REQUIRED: Quiet professional male requires room in/near
Milton Keynes (en-suite bathroom preferable). Available to move
now. Smoker. No pets.
Simon H 27/3/2003, 12:28
Email Not Given
Truely 80's bands that I still regularly listen to include:
Cutting Crew, Red Box (Remember 'For America??) and Ric Ocasek
(who was in what band Dave - I can't remember - was it The Cars
?).
dave 26/3/2003, 18:38
Email Not Given
Thanks Francis, I wonder if any of your upbeat pop efforts will be
appearing in mine and Psi's Music Quiz?It's this Saturday at
The Portland Arms, St Albans
Crap, sorry Cash prizes. Quiz starts at 9pm.
Here's how to get to the pub -
click me for a map.
Please come, you'd be very welcome.
Francis Dunnery, It Bites 26/3/2003, 13:52
Email Not Given
Calling all the Madhatters - our site is at www.itbites.com, heard
you were looking for a great eighties band. (We'd oblige if we
were still talking to each other, but I hate big nose on Bass).
Dino 26/3/2003, 10:31
Email Not Given
The Cutting Crew - and they played at Hatfield Poly when I was a
student there...it was well attended by about 5 or 6 people...
Simon H 25/3/2003, 12:19
Email Not Given
And in the warm up to Saturday's Battle of the Pop wits - here's a
tester - which 80's band had a hit with I just died in your arms
tonight ? I'll be competing which should drive the fear of the
almighty to anyone who is thicker than pigshit. I of course am
only AS thick as pigshit.
Dino 25/3/2003, 12:2
Email Not Given
Hurrah! esure are going to fix our car instead of trashing it as
they were going to do...people power! I realise that's not
particular interesting news to anyone else - but it excites me!
Slon 21/3/2003, 18:26
Email Not Given
Yeah, I dunno if it's a big enough news story, but apparently
we're at war! Who knew?
dave 21/3/2003, 12:23
Email Not Given
Good morning, happy Friday to one and all. Does anyone have any
news to update the news database - it looks as though it needs
some love and attention.
Salmon Rushdie 20/3/2003, 17:51
Email Not Given
F**k off fish face.
Saddam 20/3/2003, 17:50
Email Not Given
I'm burning down those oil wells like they're going out of
fashion. Incidentally I hear that Dave and Simon have a quiz down
at The Portland Arms on Saturday March 29th. (I'll be there... but
don't tell the FBI)
CDB 20/3/2003, 17:48
Email Not Given
I think we could all learn a little something from the dog that
sings 'Lady in Red'. If we could all learn to love each other, get
along and be nice to kittens life would be lovely.
George W. Bush 20/3/2003, 17:38
Email Not Given
Remember folks - war is a GOOD thing. It allows countries to test
out all the nifty little weapons their boffins have been designing
and justifies vast retainer fees for private manufacturers of
military equipment. And besides - what else would we use the money
for ?
The Cornishman 20/3/2003, 17:35
Email Not Given
I've seen him, ee's out near Saltash. An Canker seth.
George W 20/3/2003, 17:33
gwb@thewhitehouse.gov.us
Sorry to interrupt madhatters - found some connection with your
name and my outlook on life. Can you please tell me which soldiers
I'm meant to be shooting in the back? Is it the Brits, the Arabs
or anyone who looks at any of my troops funny? By the way, if
Saddam and Bin Laden would just like to tell me where exactly they
are in Cornwall, I'll send the stealth fighters over to escort
them home?
Saddam 20/3/2003, 13:20
Email Not Given
I'm holed up in Cornwall. I've shaved off me' beard an'
everything. Terrible weather mind. I'm using the internet to send
orders to me' generals. I'm on the BT Anytime package, very good
value.
dave 20/3/2003, 13:18
Email Not Given
War, huh. What is it good for... ? Probably best if we leave that
conversation alone, or not. Are we too flippant to have a serious
debate on this site.
Chris de Burgh's 19/3/2003, 23:18
Email Not Given
Does anyone know where I am? Last time I saw myself I was in Davey
P's record collection between Billy Joel and ELO.
Simon H 19/3/2003, 18:29
Email Not Given
Lady in Rad was of course Chris de Burgh's lesser known
anti-nuclear 1991 hit
Simon H 19/3/2003, 18:28
Email Not Given
I meant lady in Red
Simon H 19/3/2003, 18:28
Email Not Given
I'm single and soshiteable it hurts. Meanwhile check out my latest
website recommendation. The amount of mileage in a dog singing
Chris de Burgh's Lady in Rad cannot be measured.
Dave Wid 19/3/2003, 12:27
Email Not Given
Damnation!
Psi 19/3/2003, 11:35
Email Not Given
What a pity they didn't specify 'single, preferably sociable'. I
don't think I qualify.
DIno 18/3/103, 17:27
Email Not Given
Si Hopes - get yourself down there...and Roughty - never one to be
shy of a camera! Shame Wid isn't around!
wltm 18/3/2003, 16:40
wltm@talkback.co.uk
Sorry to barge in on the message board Hatters, BBC 2 dating show
Would Like to Meet are filming in the bars of St Albans tonight
and would welcome any sociable, preferably single men who might be
out having a pint or two and wouldn't mind being approached and
chatted to on camera. We're there between about 6 and 9 look out
for us...
wltm 18/3/2003, 16:36
wltm@talkback.co.uk
Nothing said.
Dino 18/3/2003, 15:0
Email Not Given
Wonder why they only targeted my news story though...?
Simon H 18/3/2003, 11:24
Email Not Given
Check out the singing cats on my latest recommendation
dave 17/3/2003, 18:0
Email Not Given
Yes it has. That's what happens when you don't give a toss about
security.
Dino 17/3/2003, 14:18
Email Not Given
Why has my news item been replaced with garbage? Has a hacker been
active on the site? Most odd!
Steve Phipps 17/3/2003, 13:49
Email Not Given
Ooops! Sorry! put the wrong 'slash' in my code!
Steve Phipps 17/3/2003, 13:48
Email Not Given
Dave: You said you could source some amp+mic+speaker stuff cheaply
- have you a list of said equipment and a recommendation for a
small clubhouse? I'll take the stuff to committee to try and get
them to buy their own. To All: Incidentally, I had a poor
turnout last month, if Madhatters could pull together a team it
would be great to have your support? You would also stand a much
greater chance of winning some dosh. Unless, of course, its
suddenly packed to the rafters....that'd be nice...
dave 17/3/2003, 12:47
Email Not Given
Quiz mungus. Steve - just give me a call if you want to check
about the amp.
Steve Phipps 17/3/2003, 10:56
stephen_phipps@hotmail.com
Just a quick note to remind everyone that my Monthly Quiz Night
takes place this Sunday at
Enfield Lawn Tennis Club, entry from 7p.m. 4 people per team
max. Quiz rounds consist of General Knowledge, Sports, Specialist
and Music, with separate Footy Quick Pick and "Play Your Cards
Right", with music, cash prizes and cheap bar - what a way to
spend your Sunday evening! And it's just a stone's throw from
junction 24 (Potters Bar) turnoff of the M25 (head for "Enfield -
A1005). Give me a shout if you're interested and want to know
more. Dave: Is it still okay to borrow the amp & stuff again?
The Insulter 15/3/2003, 13:2
Email Not Given
Oi, Poncerer, I'd concentrate less on dissing out the good people
of Madhatters and a little more on stopping the Old Bill finding
out who's buried under the dirt floor of your living room, you
sick freakin' freak.
Father Bread 14/3/2003, 16:17
Email Not Given
You must beware the Evil Bread, so you must, Dougal.
Father Ted 14/3/2003, 14:10
Email Not Given
I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and
tell people what to do. Whereas priests...
Father Ted 14/3/2003, 14:7
Email Not Given
........................... and in the absence of The Ponderer
being able to ever come up with anything remotely original (again)
other than the public-school mentality of belittling the enjoyment
of others, we'll continue with praising the works of people who
CAN think of original ideas such as Graham Linehan and Arthur
Mathews who wrote Father Ted.
Father Jack 14/3/2003, 12:25
Email Not Given
ARSE
THE Ponderer 14/3/2003, 11:6
Email Not Given
still not funny
Father Jack 14/3/2003, 10:15
Email Not Given
ARSE BISCUITS
THE Ponderer 14/3/2003, 9:44
Email Not Given
Who let the lunatics out.....? Anyone can quote from TV scripts,
its much more difficult to come up with ORIGINAL ideas!
Father Dead 14/3/2003, 9:2
Email Not Given
Can yer hear me Dougal? Everythings gone so black....
Bishop Brennan 14/3/2003, 8:50
Email Not Given
Yer all a bunch of complete eejits.
Dougal 13/3/2003, 14:14
Email Not Given
Mrs Doyle's just fallen off the roof...
Father Ted 13/3/2003, 13:58
Email Not Given
Small..... Far away..... Small.... Far Away
Mrs Doyle 13/3/2003, 13:53
Email Not Given
Go on Go on Go on Go on Go on Go on Go on Go on Go on Go on Go on
Go on Go on Go on Go on
Mrs Doyle 13/3/2003, 13:52
Email Not Given
Now fathers, would you be wanting a cup of tea ?
Mother Irene 13/3/2003, 13:8
Email Not Given
Most eloquent Father Jack .... but hardly 'lovely musings' - now
get yer arrrrse back home and sort out them pigeons of yours.
Father Jack 13/3/2003, 11:53
Email Not Given
FECK OFF
Father Jack 13/3/2003, 11:52
Email Not Given
KNICKERS
Father Jack 13/3/2003, 11:52
Email Not Given
ARRRRSE!
Father Jack 13/3/2003, 11:52
Email Not Given
DRRRRINK!!!
Simon H 12/3/2003, 13:55
Email Not Given
Well - you know my international clubbing lifestyle.
Mikey H 12/3/2003, 12:34
Email Not Given
..actually make that Zurich
Mikey H 12/3/2003, 12:33
Email Not Given
....hey Simon, make that 2 tickets to Geneva!!..... I won't ask
how you found that site
Simon H 12/3/2003, 12:19
Email Not Given
Yes Ken. How right you are - how about lots of pictures of good
looking Swiss girls in night clubs. That's far more important than
football. http://www.beautifulzueri.blogspot.com Oh hang on - my
first recommend a site coming right up !
Ken 12/3/2003, 10:57
Email Not Given
Nick...there are more important things in life than football!
Dino 12/3/2003, 10:58
Email Not Given
Ann Dee, are you actually going to get around to organising a
footy match this year?
Nick W 12/3/2003, 9:3
Email Not Given
Err., Ken. Would I be right in saying that the Watford match is
the same date as Thomas' christening? Gosh, how thoughtless of
me....... At least it means Lesley will miss it as well. I'll put
the TV on in the shed for you.
Le Burge 11/3/2003, 14:42
Email Not Given
Ah, now I see what you're trying to do their Andy. Two days before
leaving for the sunnier climes of Southern California, I made the
trip to St Mary's to see the Saints vs Man United so I am doing
the best I can. Just because you live only 10 miles from Watford,
etc, etc. Just hold on to that League (was it the Milk back then?)
Cup memory - it's all you'll have....
Sarah 11/3/2003, 17:36
Email Not Given
Now now girls it's only a game.
Dino 11/3/2003, 14:10
Email Not Given
Ann Dee were you actually born in 1980?
Simon H 11/3/2003, 13:21
Email Not Given
Yeah - bloody fairweather football fans. Come on
Watford.............
Ann Dee 11/3/2003, 12:48
Email Not Given
Bloody fairweather fans, when was the last time you went to a game
eh Burges? Typical, a little snifter of a chance of success and
they all come out of the woodwork! Oh when the horns, go marching
in, oh when the horns go marching in, etc. Brings back memories of
the classic 7-1 Watford demolition of Southampton in the League
Cup back in 1980, doesn't it, aren't they, etc.
dave 11/3/2003, 10:55
Email Not Given
I'd forgotten about the potential calamitous Burges (Southampton)
vs Roughton & Rodrigues (Watford) clash. For all those Madhatters
not interested in football, look away now. May I suggest a small
wager gentlemen?
John 11/3/2003, 9:48
Email Not Given
Good point, Dave. I need to talk to you about Edinburgh. Is your
number still 01727 753336?
LeBurge 10/3/2003, 12:28
Email Not Given
Oh when the Saints go marching on.....Bring on the Hornets!
Sarah 10/3/2003, 17:5
Email Not Given
I have a very happy husband at the moment!
Ken 10/3/2003, 16:57
Email Not Given
and the Hornets go marching on...bring on the Saints!
dave 10/3/2003, 14:15
Email Not Given
Hello, how's everyone? Glad to see the web site didn't crash while
I was away. Erm, been skiing in France which was rather pleasant.
Didn't break any bones but collided with a rather apologetic skier
and ended face down in the white stuff.
If there's any of you teetering on the brink of Edinburgh I have
eight (8) rooms left so hurry yourselves up there.
Sarah 7/3/2003, 15:28
Email Not Given
I can see everyone is having a productive afternoon!
Simon H 7/3/2003, 14:36
Email Not Given
cock
ON BEHALF OF SIMON HOPES 7/3/2003, 14:36
Email Not Given
Simon Hopes would like to apologise whole-heartedly and completely
for his earlier comments which contained sexual innuendo and
purile content. He would like to assure his public that this will
never happen again and hope that his postings did not cause anyone
to much distress.
Simon H 7/3/2003, 12:36
Email Not Given
Very good - well done for ENTERING into the spirit of it
Dino 7/3/2003, 11:14
Email Not Given
It's no good Simon - even opening up that kind of establishment
wouldn't MASSAGE my ego enough at the moment, it would certainly
RUB the neighbours up the WRONG WAY and cause a certain amount of
TITillation amongst my FRIENDS. ?
Simon H 7/3/2003, 10:49
Email Not Given
Steve - how about opening a brothel or "Discreet Visiting Massage
Parlour". People will always need sex and it's a growth industry.
Get it ? A GROWTH industry ? Do you see what I've done there
everyone - I've used a business term to sound a bit like a man's
pe...........................
Dino 6/3/2003, 11:23
Email Not Given
Kath: of course I thought of you when I wrote that but didn't
include you..I like to think of you as 'almost mancunian'! And u
certianly don't bring my food back up...I have a hard time
swallowing...oh, hold on..where's this conversation going...loose
words, cost lives...What's that? dinner ready..okay coming...just
saying hello to my friends....gulp....stop babbling man...anyone
got any work for me to do, I think I've been off for too long...
Kath 6/3/2003, 16:36
kath_whibley@hotmail.com
Well, what can I say to that! Here I am sitting at work in NZ and
thought I'd check out the chat on the site, are you sorry Dino? By
the way all well here, NZ have just lost a massive yacht race so
all a bit sad but the sun keeps on shining..... hope to see you
guys in Sept/Oct.
Dino 5/3/2003, 17:23
Email Not Given
So John, what's good in the world now that Liverpool have won The
Worthless Cup? I don't like to see scousers happy if I can help
it...brings my food right back up it does.
John 5/3/2003, 14:39
Email Not Given
Gosh, I hope we manage to retrieve the last six months of
Madhatters chat. Historians and literary critics alike will be
distraught if we don't.
Dino 4/3/2003, 11:11
Email Not Given
Ho Hum. My memory never fails me, you should be getting your chat
back very soon...
Mr Broadband 3/3/2003, 22:23
Email Not Given
Whizz! And with a lightning flash, I appear.... and then I'm gone.
