Mikey H 22/8/2003, 17:50
Email Not Given
P.S. Congrats to Ken on his new job at the BEEB!!!
Mikey H 22/8/2003, 17:49
Email Not Given
Just back from Edinburgh after a fantastic week at the festival.
Cheers to Dave for organising such a great party and for those of
you who didn't go - you missed out on a week of spectacular
entertainment (not just on the stage...hey Brian!!), lack of
sleep, eating non healthy food, abusing your livers... I'm off for
a rest!!!
steve 22/8/2003, 15:29
Email Not Given
loved reading the message s
Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 15:28
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 14:46
Email Not Given
me
Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 13:45
Email Not Given
Who doesn't?
Muhammadd Nadeem 22/8/2003, 13:53
nadeem_prime@yahoo.com
I want to get admission in Ph. D (Maths)
Dave Wid 17/8/2003, 14:18
Email Not Given
I am back from France. Happy Birthday Gary. I suppose you're all
in Edinburgh. Well so will I be. Soon. Ok, Monday.
Slon 15/8/2003, 14:22
Email Not Given
And a happy birthday to Roger. What ever happened to you? Didn't
you go overseas or something?
Slon 14/8/2003, 15:26
Email Not Given
Congratulations Dino. Helpful tip - don't spend all day on the web
at work. Apparently the boss can suddenly come in and catch...Oops
got to go.
Dino 14/8/2003, 14:25
Email Not Given
Steve is a wastrel, and as such is quite content to play Age of
Empires all day long...
dave 14/8/2003, 13:4
Email Not Given
As one who has watched your plight over the last few years; and
how the drama has unfolded on these pages, I am delighted to offer
you my congratulations Dino. Has Steve been offered the job also?
Dino 14/8/2003, 12:6
Email Not Given
I would like you all to be the first to know: I AM EMPLOYED
AGAIN!!!!!! I shall be working for VISA International starting
1st September...now I need to go take a lie down and contemplate
what 'work' means after two years on the governments' invisible
unemployment dungheap...
dave 14/8/2003, 11:29
Email Not Given
I thought the Revealer had already 'revealed' themselves. Well, if
you don't know. I don't know if PondLife is going to Edinburgh, if
I knew who they were I wouldn't have any of it.
Dino 14/8/2003, 9:23
Email Not Given
Davey: I noticed that your email regarding the Fringe addressed
"The Revealer", can it be revealed that not only he/she will be at
Edinburgh but also The Insulter and The Ponderer too? It would be
a jolly wheeze to try and determine which of the 30 or so
Madhatters were the aforesaid personalities!
John 13/8/2003, 12:53
Email Not Given
It's not really called Dave Patrick, Dave. It's called Puss. But
the rabbit's called Andy Roughton.
Unknown Person 13/8/2003, 13:53
Email Not Given
But Madhatters does exist.
dave 13/8/2003, 13:35
Email Not Given
... hmmm, please stop it now. I have no pets and thus cannot name
them after Madhatters - as they do not exist. I would recommend
that Madhatters parents do not name their pets after me. Although
'Dave' is a good name for a hamster.
John 13/8/2003, 12:6
Email Not Given
Commiserations Jol and Toni. I didn't know you had a pet named
after another Madhatter. By a strange coincidence, my parents' cat
is called Dave Patrick. How about that?
Le Burge 12/8/2003, 9:46
Email Not Given
Very wise, young Ashley!
Ashley 12/8/2003, 10:7
Email Not Given
Have I missed something? I saw Honey this morning, chatting with
Nathan. I appreciate she may be quite objectionable at times, I
would hesitate to refer to her as a dog.
Dino 12/8/2003, 9:25
Email Not Given
Is a lam a small sheep without bite?
Mikey H 12/8/2003, 9:9
Email Not Given
My sincere sympathy to Jol & Toni on the loss of Honey. May doggy
heaven be full of lamposts and big bowls of Iams.
dave 11/8/2003, 18:30
Email Not Given
No, say it ain't so Jolyon and Toni! I can't believe it. I
remember those times throwing sticks on the beach near Tenby... I
hope dog heaven is full of frisbees you can bite. I shall have a
drink to my favourite Labrador.
Le Burge 11/8/2003, 10:0
Email Not Given
Eh?
Honey 11/8/2003, 16:13
honey@dogheaven.com
just to write you a quick note whilst i am waiting for the pearly
dog flap to open to say a big thanks to you all and a fond
fairwell, i think i am the first madhatter to go on the final
journey, and must say so far so good, there are loads of big
sticks and limited addition frisbees to chew on, and i have only
just got here!! love to all
Ashley 11/8/2003, 14:34
Email Not Given
Thanks for the kind birthday wishes everyone. I am celebrating
today by being the only person in my office (the other 3 all
having started holidays today), and getting my hair cut. Anyway,
this wretched heatwave - if it gets any hotter here in Hull, it
might go over the 32degree mark, at which point the ice and snow
outside my house might melt and expose the beautifully preserved
corpse of the Polar Bear I ran over last thaw.
dave 11/8/2003, 14:5
Email Not Given
Hi Martin, I guess you have stop responding to my e-mails because
you hate all the spam I keep sending you about gigs, Edinburgh
festivals and the like. As for Belch, he got married about 5 years
ago to a girl called Tania - Caro and I went up to the wedding and
so did Simon Harrowing. Belch has since been very silent since,
but I have no doubts he will pop-up at some time. Anyway - we
should meet up in St Albans some time.
Steve - your enthusiasm for this Heatwave is surprising, I for one
can't wait till the cold snap kicks in. It is very distressing
when even sitting down and watching the TV causes you to sweat
profusely. And no that's not a cue for a classy ITV2 reality
documentary.
Slon 11/8/2003, 13:58
Email Not Given
Good to see the "water-draining-the other-way" myth dragged out
and dusted off once more. Happy birthday folks.
Martin Brabham 11/8/2003, 13:13
mbrabham@ntlworld.com
stumbled upon the website - and pleased to recognise some familiar
names. Living in Hampshire now (yes back to the gheto from wence i
came). Not much has changed there - although i've put on a few
pounds and developed some distinctivley silver flashes in my hair.
Still wonder what happend to Belch, Ann the hovercraft enthusiast,
Shona, Paul (cant remember the surname but was quite tall), Brian
etc , My inbox awaits you P.s. Changed my email to mbrabham@ntlworld.com
due to the lure of cutprice broadband
Dino 11/8/103, 12:13
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Kath! Has all the blood drained to your head yet?
And do you ever get bored watching the water swirl down the
plughole anti-clockwise? We're in the middle of a heatwave and it
may even last until Edinburgh!!! Yippee!
dave 11/8/2003, 10:47
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Kath in New Zealand, always nice to hear from you
on the other side of the world; and thee too Mr Pearson, not in
NZ.
John 11/8/2003, 10:27
Email Not Given
HB Kath and Ash. Not hitched, but not entirely single either. But
don't worry Ashley, there are plenty of other competitors in the
ESSC.
Kath 11/8/2003, 9:20
kath_whibley@hotmail.com
G'day... thought I'd say hi as its my birthday! In fact I get 1and
1/2 days cause its aleady my birthday here in NZ. Cool. Already
opened all my pressies and off for a curry tonight in memory of
living by curry mile in Manc land...Hope to catch up when we are
back in October.. Enjoy the sun!!
Ashley 8/8/2003, 16:40
Email
Given
Ah, Twaty, I knew my neologism wouldn't fox you - although Lord
Byron and I are impressed by your only slightly dodgy usage of
'sesquipedalian' - a word I've felt has been neglected too too
long. Hope you are well. Glad you're not dead, yet. Are you, like
most, hitched or getting there? Or are you competing against me in
the European Staying Single Championships? There are more
questions than answers...
John 8/8/2003, 15:59
Email Not Given
Pearson...Pearson...I think I remember you. Ashley, isn't it? Your
typing's coming on - but you still can't spell 'eroticism' I see.
Or maybe you were deliberately using an obscure word to show off.
How sesquipedalian of you.
dave 8/8/2003, 15:33
Email Not Given
Hi Sion, I've been in my attic today, making up shelving units to
try and at least organise some of that 'atticy stuff'. GIven that
it's 33 outside I reckon the insulation adds at least another 10
degrees. So I've been working and sweating in intolerable
conditions. As Simon pointed out, I could have waited till Autumn.
Mind you at least I wasn't at work.
Slon 8/8/2003, 15:26
Email Not Given
30 sodding degrees in my office all week (thats something or other
degrees in old money). Someone top that to make me feel that there
are people at work worse off.
Lord Pearson of Truro (well, Hull) 8/8/2003, 15:5
ashley.pearson@comet.co.uk
And into this impenetrable mire of drivel, in-jokes and
esotericism I shall plunge my over-touted and under-rated views on
life, which this week consist largely of me remembering that it's
my birthday on 11th. Now if you all behave yourself I may come
down to t'smoke for the self-congratulatory 10 years of KeepCheesy
gig. But I may not.
Dino 8/8/2003, 9:5
Email Not Given
France? Is that a restaurant in Stoke?
Dave Wid 8/8/2003, 8:40
Email Not Given
iI'm off to france. See you next week in Edinburgh folks!
dave 8/8/2003, 1:11
Email Not Given
Does anyone else think this UK Heatwave is due to global warming,
or just hot weather? Or a combination of both, or neither? God,
Noel Gallagher isn't very good at guitar solos, can't even do
windmills man.
dave 8/8/2003, 1:9
Email Not Given
I mean Norfolk, not Nprfolk, ah feck it.
dave 8/8/2003, 1:9
Email Not Given
Nprfolk...not Norfold. I'm going to bed now, but I won't sleep
because it's too darn hot. Actually watching a bit of TV at the
moment. It's The Who live in concert with special guest Noel
Gallagher on 'Won't Get Fooled Again'. Tchoh! Keith Moon would be
turning in his grave - if he was dead - which he is.
dave 8/8/2003, 1:7
Email Not Given
Gaty Coleman - is he part of the famous Norfold mustard family? Or
possibly from some obscure sitcom?
Le Burge 7/8/2003, 9:51
Email Not Given
Thanks, TP, for the "Gary Coleman runs for California Governor"
story. I'd vote for The Governator - Arnie himself is running -
but I can't vote
dave 7/8/2003, 15:45
Email Not Given
Thanks John for breaking the deadlock. It's too hot to do anything
much. I was going to get up and get a drink but I was too hot.
John 7/8/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
Phew, that was close.
John 7/8/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
If somebody doesn't post something soon, it's going to be two days
with no additions to the site.
dave 5/8/2003, 16:23
Email Not Given
Steve - see EdinburghFirst.com and tell them you are staying at
Hermits Croft and wanting to park at East Newington
Dino 5/8/2003, 11:5
Email Not Given
Davey: What was that number you said I should call for parking in
EdBoro? Driving away last night was scary - I kept imagining what
it would be like to go full throttle down Holywell Hill and smash
into the back of the nearest car! That game is frighteningly
addictive - so put it away now and get some work done!
John 5/8/2003, 9:1
Email Not Given
Many thanks to everyone for their advice. I think I've found a
cheap flight now. See you in Auld Reekie!
Mikey H 5/8/2003, 8:51
Email Not Given
John: We managed to get a British Midland flight from Heathrow to
Edinburgh for £90 return... if that helps? or alternatively we
could get wing commander Benson to pull a few strings and borrow a
RAF plane, and give us all a lift up there!
Dino 4/8/2003, 17:52
Email Not Given
John: I can firmly not recommedn going by coach, unless you like
to be sat next to a brut33-soaked Lithuanian, talking gibberish
into his phone all the way up, whilst being accosted by the drunk
behind you who believes that if he smokes on an air-conditioned
coach, the driver won't notice!
Hope that helps?
Le Burge 4/8/2003, 9:39
Email Not Given
Ah, Dave. Yes, Stuart e-mailed me a few weeks ago and I passed on
my phone number plus an invitation to stay over before he flies
back home. Hopefully he will. Do you have his cell (sorry, mobile)
number?
dave 4/8/2003, 16:55
Email Not Given
Ah, sorry John. You see, what you did was make the terrible
mistake of leaving it till the last minute. I am able to give you
a lift up from St Albans - but back down would be a problem for me
as I have a full car on the way home. May I suggest contacting Sir
Gary of Stevenbole - he's the only one I can think who may be able
to help.
John 4/8/2003, 15:21
Email Not Given
I'm just finalising (panicking about) my Edinburgh travel
arrangements. Do any knowledgeable Hatters have advice for getting
from Portsmouth to Edinburgh and back? Cheapest air fare I could
find was £124 (easyjet). Coach is about £50 but it's 12
(adjectival swearword) hours. Train is also the best part of a
ton.
dave 4/8/2003, 14:9
Email Not Given
You wouldn't have seen the coverage he got in the UK papers over
his first game for Real. Absolutely mental. Did you know Simon,
that Stu is on his way to see you in Santa Monica? He says he'll
be arriving on 14th.
Le Burge 30/7/2003, 9:55
Email Not Given
I did post yesterday about the Man U game but the web-site
subsequently crashed. Anyway, for Andy and Dave's benefit - Man U,
Juventus, Barcelona, Celtic and Club America (Mexican side) are
here. 67,000 saw Man U beat Celtic 4-0 in Seattle last week so
there is quite a bit of interest. Reasonable coverage in both of
the weekend editions of the LA Times. And a 20-minute documentary
on David Beckham on HBO last night
Le Burge 30/7/2003, 9:52
Email Not Given
....and hopefully the Joker leaves again.....
The Joker Returns 30/7/2003, 10:29
Email Not Given
The Top Ten Times in History when the 'F' Word was used
10th-Scattered f??king showers my arse- Noah 4314 BC
9th- How the f??kdid you work that out? - Pythagoras 126bc
8th- You want what on the f??king ceiling - Michaelangelo 1566
7th - Where did all those f??king Indians come from?-
Custer1877
6th- It does so f??king look like her- Picasso-1926
5th- Where the f??k are we?- Amelia Earhardt 1937
4th- Any f??king idiot could understand that-Einstein 1938
3rd- What the f??k was that?- Mayor of Hiroshima- 1945
2nd - I need this parade like a hole in the f??king head- JFK-
1963
!st- Aw c'mon, Who the f??k is going to find out- Blair
No Hope 29/7/2003, 17:27
Email Not Given
I was doomed from the start.
Bob Hope 29/7/2003, 16:44
Email Not Given
Lawrence. My parents had no imagination.
Claudette Colbert 29/7/2003, 16:43
Email Not Given
What's the "L" stand for?
Bob Hope 29/7/2003, 16:43
Email Not Given
Lawrence L. Lawrence
Dino 29/7/2003, 10:22
Email Not Given
I knew I could rely on you Andy to "upset the apple
cart"...anyway, in case nobody else has discovered it yet, go to
Google and play around with the language settings..try the Elmer
Fudd setting for example...pweskwy wabbet!
Ann Dee 29/7/2003, 10:13
Email Not Given
You certainly should Steve (Phipps that is, of course, just to
clear that up, of Stepps Consulting, he's Dino you see, it's
because he's dead old). Anyhoo, gawd bless Bob Hope and his Road
to Cemetary. And Simon, is there much interest in the Man U games
over there? Aren't Celtic and Barcelona over there too? I keep
hearing contrasting views on it, "sold out" one day to "we called
to get tickets and they asked us where we wanted to sit" the next
- I demand to know the truth!
Dino 29/7/2003, 8:35
Email Not Given
Davey: Please refer to me by my handle when I use it...keeps an
air of mystery to casual viewers...
Anyway, It was a question, because two emails I sent earlier
had bounced back undelivered and so I have forwarded one said
email back to you to prove it. Sorry, I'll remove the smug look
from my face in a minute. I really should get out more...
dave 28/7/2003, 18:43
Email Not Given
Simon - are Man U really in America?? Have you sold your Chrysler
Neon yet?
dave 28/7/2003, 18:42
Email Not Given
Well met Ken, yes adios Mr Hope. Steve, your question is incorrect
in every respect. Just because I do not read your e-mail
immediately and thus, send back a read receipt, does not mean that
I haven't received it. Also - it is not a question.
Le Burge 28/7/2003, 10:27
Email Not Given
Was going to watch the Man U / Club America (actually a Mexican
side) on Sunday here in LA but went to the beach instead. As the
LA Times put, refering to the game on TV: "For those who don't
fancy driving to the Colisium to pay $40 to see the team that
David Beckham used to play for!"
Le Burge 28/7/2003, 10:25
Email Not Given
Topless golf? Didn't even see that one?
Ken 28/7/2003, 16:46
Email Not Given
Adios Bob Hope.
Dino 28/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Davey: your email won't receive incoming mail?
Dave Wid 26/7/2003, 17:46
Email Not Given
My Weebl and Bob recommendation was good. They like pie. Mmmmmm.
Donkey.
dave 25/7/2003, 16:40
Email Not Given
'Hulk has Willy', very clever. What about 'Ponderer has reason to
live'. That would be news.
dave 25/7/2003, 16:11
Email Not Given
... and not a patch on my Electric Six Gaybar link. Come on,
where's the quaility??
dave 25/7/2003, 15:42
Email Not Given
...and as if you didn't know it comes hot on the heels of a load
of 'shock' recommendations - mainly tumour based. And now we're
talking about them - oh god, go on then, gives us another Mr
Fecking Clever Pond Face.
dave 25/7/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
Referring to the 'topless golf' article Andy, before you jump in
and cry censorship. I mean, naked women, playing golf...tchoh,it's
hardly topless darts is it?
Ann Dee 25/7/2003, 15:10
Email Not Given
I'm confused, hadn't had a little look for a while but there
appears to be some editing/censorship going on. If pondlife has
said something ridiculous can it be left up for all to ridicule?
dave 25/7/2003, 11:53
Email Not Given
You really are an obvious, sexist tw*t aren't you pond life?
Lesley 23/7/2003, 20:21
Email Not Given
Bizarre... but v amusing!
Dave Wid 23/7/2003, 0:13
Email Not Given
Check em all out. Especially 'Cheese' and 'Art'. They make me
laugh.
Ken 22/7/2003, 8:21
Email Not Given
Dave Wid...what a superb site...check out the Christmas episode, v
funny.
Unknown Person 21/7/2003, 23:36
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 21/7/2003, 23:36
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Dave Wid 21/7/2003, 18:38
Email Not Given
It has been replaced! Try the archives (using the drop down menu)
of Weebl and Bob toons. The funniest thing I've seen in a long
time. Think they're on MTV2 now. Pie.
dave 21/7/2003, 18:30
Email Not Given
Thanks for nothing Ponderer. Please keep your web site
recommendations to yourself you big divot.
Woooarrggh 21/7/2003, 14:2
Email Not Given
Hey Davey, that's just great. Hope you don't waste the time,
sitting at home, with beer and satellite telly.
Dave Wid 21/7/2003, 12:59
Email Not Given
Can I please be allowed to point out that this is the first day of
the 6 WEEK school holidays. Thank you.
Slon 21/7/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
Lovely indeed thanks Dave. A big thankyou to all who came. I had a
great day. Got shedloads of beer left though. People don't drink
like they used to. Bruce was the only one who made an effort. Ta
Brucey,
dave 20/7/2003, 23:24
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Sion - sorry Caro and I didn't make it up to see
you, hope you had a nice day.
Le Burge 18/7/2003, 9:34
Email Not Given
Funny? Er, no
Dave S 18/7/2003, 12:59
djs@ieee.org
Hey All. Anyone got Mr Jarmans email address? ta Ciao 4 now
dave 18/7/2003, 12:24
Email Not Given
Save us. Anyone got anything funny to talk about (not, you Mr
Barrymore)
Michael Barrymore 18/7/2003, 11:15
Email Not Given
Anyone want to try my swimming pool?
Dino 18/7/2003, 9:15
Email Not Given
P.S. I realise that this site may now register quite a bit of
interest among US Marines, Air Stewards and Michael Barrymore
Dino 18/7/2003, 9:14
Email Not Given
Poptastic Davey! I've been having my own little karoake here...la
la la GAY BAR! GAY BAR! GAY BAR!
THE Ponderer 17/7/2003, 15:32
Email Not Given
Boy, did you ever get that right! So many words, so little sense.
At least I steer clear of swear words.
THE INSULTERER 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
By the way that was me 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Now look here Ponderer, we don't want none of your half arsed
insults round here again. Go back to flicking through your ladyboy
catalogue and leave us alone. Tw*tface.
THE Ponderer 17/7/2003, 11:56
Email Not Given
I wonder if the Insulter is a fruit frotter?
The Insulter 13/6/2003, 11:12
Email Not Given
Fig off!
Not John, honest 17/7/2003, 9:33
Email Not Given
...and if the Insulter's obsessed with dried fruit, does that make
him the Insultana?
John 17/7/2003, 8:46
Email Not Given
I'm afraid the voice of reason website met its electronic end some
time ago. It must be another sad lonely freak's site to which
Metro refers, Ken. However, the Insulter's comment makes me wonder
whether there's mileage in a website dedicated to badly spelled
dried fruit products...
Simon H 17/7/2003, 7:30
Email Not Given
Ah yes - The Macc Lads. My second favorite band after the Berlin
Philharmonic.
The Insulter 17/7/2003, 0:36
Email Not Given
The Voice of Rasin
dave 16/7/2003, 23:9
Email Not Given
The Voice of Reason? I thought that closed down due to lack of
interest on John's part? Surely another voice of reason?
Ken 16/7/2003, 21:5
Email Not Given
Evening all...Mr Wyatt, I daresay that you would not have got a
copy of the free London morning newspaper called Metro, the reason
being was that I think your website "The Voice of Reason" was
featured as one of a select group taking the 'Michael' out of
Saddam Hussien. I will keep hold of my copy of the article for you
until I next see you.
Dino 16/7/2003, 16:2
Email Not Given
Is 'Stan Boardman' a Viz character a la Roger?
Stan Boardman 16/7/2003, 13:42
Email Not Given
Are you that posh git who talks about paintings with a plum in his
gob? I think you're a faggot!
Brian Sewell 16/7/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
Viz isn't as funny as it used to be, but then, what is? If you can
ignore a lot of rubbish, there's stil a handful of well-crafted
gags to be enjoyed.
dave 16/7/2003, 12:15
Email Not Given
Does anybody still read Viz? I haven't seen a copy for ages... is
it funny still? I had to leave after 'Billy the Fish' was cruely
usurped by 'Big Vern'.
John 16/7/2003, 11:43
Email Not Given
...which was nice.
The Macc Lads 16/7/2003, 11:42
Email Not Given
Her name's Sweaty Betty and she lives on a sewage farm, Put me
hand in her pants and she nearly swallowed me arm...
John 16/7/2003, 11:42
Email Not Given
Sadly, I think it's the Macc Lads - whose lyrics were quoted by an
unknown person a few messages ago - rather than UHDS who warranted
Kerry's approval. But I think I can add to the Macc Lads lyrics
quotations:
Dino 15/7/2003, 16:56
Email Not Given
"Work"? I wish you wouldn't keep using such confusing terms!
"Work"...?
dave 15/7/2003, 16:36
Email Not Given
Pass, I believe in the eyes of the young kids of today 'wicked'
means 'good'. So if we interpolate that by 'you guys' she means
Madhatters, then her sentiment is essentially Madhatters are good.
Now does she mean good in a benevolent, charitable way or good in
a friendly, cool way, or perhaps she may have seen us 'act' in
some of our UHDS days in which case she must be clearly derranged?
I personally wouldn't worry about it too much, but then I am
stalling for time... ho, hum back to work.
Dino 15/7/2003, 15:34
Email Not Given
Am I missing something - Is young Kerry a fan of the inane chatter
that passes for a weblog in Amateurdramaticsville?
kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:25
01kerllo
you guys are wicked
kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:24
01kerllo
you guys are wicked
kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:23
01kerllo
are you going to be performing around herefordshire and
worcester?if youare then when and what time/
kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:22
01kerllo
when are younext performing?
THE Ponderer 15/7/2003, 14:33
Email Not Given
Thank you.
Dave Wid 15/7/2003, 11:54
Email Not Given
Good website recommendation!
Dave Wid 15/7/2003, 11:52
Email Not Given
Noz and I are going to form an Ideas factory in the summer. You
come to us, we'll have ideas. Other previous ideas include:Micro
Pies 'their like pies, but small!', Zombie Westerns, Dwarf
Football and Interactive Murder TVs.
Stan Boardman 15/7/2003, 11:26
Email Not Given
NB- Collective nouns: Pack of bastards; Shower of c*nts; Clump of
crack; Mince of poofs etc
Unknown Person 15/7/2003, 10:46
Email Not Given
Cleaned my teeth, put on my best clobber, Tonight's the night I'm
going to knob her Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust, But you can't
shag a bird on a 29 bus Beer and sex and chips and gravy, its all
a Macc Lad wants Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit
of clump Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to
sup some more Pulled the bird down the Fox & Grapes Game of darts
and a lot of beer 'Can you hold your liquor (licker) love?' 'Yes I
can, always by the ears.' Treat your women like toilets They're
happy when you're abusing them But toilets don't follow you round
when you've finished using them
Dino 15/7/2003, 9:5
Email Not Given
John, Maybe we could form an association - The Federation for the
Employment of Madhatters, and for the Delivery of Occupational
Mastery...or FEM-DOM for short - sounds catchy doesn't it! We
could both pay ourselves whatever we see fit and invite other
unemployed 'Hatters to join us.
Heidi Klum 14/7/2003, 17:0
Email Not Given
I'd also like to be your friend. Oh and congratulations Mr Wid, I
imagine they'll be a lot hi-jinx and japery come next term, yarr.
Damn, given myself away m'hearties, yarr. Thar be dragons and
dubloons.
John 14/7/2003, 16:23
Email Not Given
No, it wasn't Dave. It was me. I'm bored beyond belief. Does
anyone want to give me a job? I can sub-edit - layout and
headlines and everything.
Dave 14/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Actually, that was me as well.
Dave's friends 14/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Dave, don't worry, you're not just talking to yourself. Many of us
are out here, just watching, not saying anything. We're all your
friends.
Dave Wid 14/7/2003, 15:42
Email Not Given
Avast yee! Yarr! They be passin' me they be. I's goin to be a
teacer. Yarr!
Mr LateEightiesMetal 14/7/2003, 15:31
Email Not Given
Faster Pussycat, WASP, Poison, Cinderella, Motley Crue? I can't
trace it..is it Dio? No, what would the grandfather of rock be
doing with a Viva, let alone a rusty one. He would have a chariot
worthy of a Warlock master and suitable to cart any rescued
Damsels around in comfort. Maybe one of the NWOBHM bands, Saxon,
UFO, Tygers of Pan Tang perhaps? Alright I'll get back to work.
Erm, is it Wishbone Ash?
Simon H 14/7/2003, 14:50
Email Not Given
Mike H - complete the following late eighties heavy metal lyric...
"Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust......."
Simon H 14/7/2003, 14:48
Email Not Given
I also think Edinburgh is one of the best holidays you can have.
Apart from perhaps a month in a beach hut in Phuket with Kirsten
Dunst. Or maybe three weeks skiing in the Alps with Heidi Klum. Or
perhaps a Kenyan safari with the Minogue sisters. Or maybe even a
long cruize with all five members of Girls Aloud. Erm... there's a
pattern developing here.
dave 14/7/2003, 14:13
Email Not Given
Ah, well you see, you know when you've got loads of boring work to
do, etc. What better way to distract you from you main tasks than
posting inane messages mainly to yourself on a chat forum of your
own making. It's like the madness of talking to yourself but with
the added bonus of inviting your friends to witness it.
Ediinburgh - thanks Mike got your cheques this morning. Erm, where
to start - it's a week of culture, eating and drinking in one of
the most beautiful cities in the world. With literally thousands
of shows, some groundbreaking new theatre, great stand-up (and
some terrible stuff as well), art exhibitions, book festivals,
tatoo's, there's almost too much to take in. I think it's one of
the best holidays you can have - relaxing, no but stimulating
beyond all doubt. Have a look at edfringe.com for more info.
Mikey H 14/7/2003, 13:28
Email Not Given
me thinks that Dave has got time on his hands today...... why not
tell us a bit more about Edinburgh Dave... after all it's only 5
weeks away......
dave 14/7/2003, 12:57
Email Not Given
That was me. Sorry. T'is true.
The Sea Captain 14/7/2003, 12:47
Email Not Given
Splice the mainbrace, set The Black Pig on course for the tropics,
yaar. T'is less taxing being a pirate than a teacher, yaar. I just
heard their was gold in yer belly, Squiddy.
Dave Wid 14/7/2003, 12:22
Email Not Given
Similarly. 'Tis them nasty buggers from QLS. They be assessing me
they be. Avast!
dave 14/7/2003, 11:24
Email Not Given
Whither doth thou stress? Is it to do with those cheeky inspectors
from OFSTED?
dave 14/7/2003, 11:23
Email Not Given
Don't be stressed Dave. Calm, deep breathing, lovely oceans,
panoramic vistas, panorama, documentaries, the war on terror,
weapons of mass destruction, horrible grizzly death. I'll shut up
now.
Dave Wid The Stressed 14/7/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh! I am very stressed.
Weebl 13/7/2003, 10:4
Email Not Given
'pee Birthday. Hairy Brian. Bring pie now. mmmmmm. Birthday pie.
Matt B 10/7/2003, 13:49
Email Not Given
Dave, you should really sort out your 24hr clock, its not well,
has anyone seen Andy recently, I'm worried about him, ever since
that thing with the stuff & the wotsit - he hasn'e been the....you
know.
Matt B 10/7/2003, 13:47
Email Not Given
Wow its late, Dave, I know its your birthday but you should go to
bed now!
Ken 10/7/2003, 20:46
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Dave & Bruce.
Dino 10/7/103, 17:13
Email Not Given
'Tis true that I am aged far beyond your scope, but I have neither
the paunch, grey hairs nor lined face for my age. WHat's more,
these are all my teeth, and my hairline has stopped receding.
Dave Wid 10/7/2003, 15:2
Email Not Given
I know he's starting to gain badger like looks but he's not quite
up to your Chelsea Pensioner level yet.
Dino 10/7/103, 14:45
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday mate! Have you caught me up yet?
Dave Wid 10/7/2003, 11:7
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Man. I love you, Man. Give us a hug.
Stan Boardman 10/7/2003, 11:4
Email Not Given
Harry Kewell
Stan Boardman 10/7/2003, 11:4
Email Not Given
I thought it is Dave's birthday tomorrow?
Homer 9/7/2003, 19:22
Email Not Given
That's all very well but what happened to the beer again? Hmm,
Beer, sweet, sweet aahhhhhggghhh.
The Philosopher 9/7/2003, 13:11
Email Not Given
Subject: Philosophy…
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some
items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked
up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it
with rocks - rocks about 2" in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed
that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles,
of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They
agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the
jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked
once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an
unanimous -- "yes."
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the
table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar --
effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students
laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want
you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are
the important things - your family, your partner, your health,
your children - things that if everything else was lost and only
they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the
other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The
sand is everything else. The small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there
is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your
life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take
your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work,
clean the house, give a dinner party, and fix the disposal. Take
care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer
represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just
goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of beers."
dave 8/7/2003, 16:5
Email Not Given
Oh, freedom of speech is a beautiful thing.
Unknown Person 8/7/2003, 18:42
Email Not Given
wanna know the dirty country 4 sex go to google and search bangkok
tonight
Unknown Person 8/7/2003, 18:39
Email Not Given
suck my ..................?
Dave Wid 8/7/2003, 11:40
Email Not Given
Good result lads, wish I'd been there. Just think, it could have
been 5-5, or even a 5-6 loss. Well maybe next time.
dave 8/7/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Happy Tom Pitt Birthday Chambers.
Unknown Person 7/7/2003, 14:13
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
The Cat 7/7/2003, 14:6
steve@stephenfrench.co.uk
Davey, Nice review! Worthy of many a newspaper back page. Yes,
if/when we play again, it might be an idea for someone to 'remind'
me of the rules, or in fact just 'mind' me of them as it's trys
and scrums I'm used to and not passback rules and offsides. Still
it was good (mostly!) clean fun. Looking forward to round 2.
Ken 7/7/2003, 14:8
Email Not Given
As mentioned previously Dave Pee, thanks for organising the match
hopefully by the time the next one comes around I will have a
bionic knee impervious to cuts, bruises etc...It was a great team
performance, well done Roughts on skippering the side.
dave 7/7/2003, 10:52
Email Not Given
The football this weekend - well we won! Have a look at the review
I have just posted.
Unknown Person 7/7/2003, 8:30
Email Not Given
Score for what Dave?
Dave Wid 6/7/2003, 16:0
Email Not Given
So, what was the score????
dave 4/7/2003, 12:8
Email Not Given
"You are"
dave 4/7/2003, 10:31
Email Not Given
... not unless your prepared for the consequences
dave 4/7/2003, 10:30
Email Not Given
Go to google enter 'anal porn surprise' and see what you get back.
(Don't press the I'm feeling lucky button).
kev 4/7/2003, 8:31
kevin@taverner.co.uk
Go to Google and enter 'French Military Victories'. Click I'm
feeling lucky.
Dino 3/7/103, 17:12
Email Not Given
Have a good weekend Hatters! I'm off to a wedding in Lymm - don't
kick seven bells out of each other at the footy will you! At least
wait until I get a chance to play again...!
laura mcilwaine 3/7/2003, 15:23
loser@sciencefreek.com
hey john im always watching you. That girl outside your window at
nights - thats me1 keep an i out John! :)
John 3/7/2003, 15:11
shitscared@surveillancephobia.com
What's the laugh? Seeing how many minutes it takes for the FBI to
break down your door?
Gary Stevenson 3/7/2003, 14:9
Email Not Given
For a laugh go to Google and enter 'Weapons of mass destruction'.
Click I'm feeling lucky.
Justin 3/7/2003, 13:6
Email Not Given
Hi John, Life in Norwich is currently wet (well not here at my
desk you understand, but outside it is!) Appart from being soggy
life is good. I'm ripping out the kitchen at the moment with a new
one arriving from the IKEA home improvement emporium today
(hopefully)...
John 3/7/2003, 12:26
Email Not Given
How's life in Norwich, Justin?
Unknown Person 3/7/2003, 11:48
Email Not Given
????
Justin 3/7/2003, 9:15
Email Not Given
Oh, and the database thingy seems to add its own "http://" so the
URL only works if you remove the first (or second, presumably!)
"http://".
Justin 3/7/2003, 9:13
Email Not Given
Dave, just wanted to apologise for messing up the right hand bar
on the site by recommending a site with a lllooooonnnnggg URL.
Seems that everything is centered so now have massive scroll bars.
Can I now call myself a hacker (although I do seem to have mislaid
my Iron Maiden T-Shirt)?
Sarah 2/7/2003, 22:28
Email Not Given
Well spotted John!
John 2/7/2003, 18:22
Email Not Given
Lesley, is that your real email address?
Ken 2/7/2003, 14:33
Email Not Given
Anyone else excited about the footie match this weekend?
Liz 2/7/2003, 10:56
Email Not Given
John - why do you smell of rats?
John (not Ken) 2/7/2003, 9:4
Email Not Given
Yes, it's me...I can't pass myself off as Ken (tried it, Sarah
smelt a rat straight away). The Ford Ka is having a jet engine and
a parachute fitted at the weekend. Flames painted down the side
and hugely inflated rear tyres are also being considered.
Le Burge 1/7/2003, 13:13
Email Not Given
Sorry Lesley, can't make it....
lesley 30/6/2003, 19:48
lesy@newmilton.org
Hi all, I've e-mailed some of you already, but in case I missed
out anyone important, I'm having a house warming get together on
Saturday 19th July. So if anyone feels like coming to sunny
Southampton, drop me a line and I'll send you details. It will
probably be a small, select gathering of strangers I've dragged in
off the streets.
Ken, John or whatever my name is (Whoops!) 30/6/2003, 17:47
Email Not Given
I would also heartily recommend the food at the Scullion's. John,
how was Santa Pod and will you be converting your Ford Ka into a
drag racer?
John 30/6/2003, 17:45
Email Not Given
I would also heartily recommend the food at the Scullion's. John,
how was Santa Pod and will you be converting your Ford Ka into a
drag racer?
John 30/6/2003, 13:46
bernardmanning@comedy.com
Based on this weekend's experience, I would thoroughly recommend
going round to the Scullions' house, having dinner and then going
drag racing on Sunday afternoon. The dress got a bit uncomfortable
after a while though.
scully 29/6/2003, 19:17
Email Not Given
Nick - look forward muchly to seeing yourself, Mrs W and Thomas
next saturday. - Enjoy your tour!
dave 27/6/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Ouch - Steve that hurts. Will try and come over.
Steve Phipps 26/6/2003, 13:46
stephen_phipps@hotmail.com
Sunday evening...do you often waste it going down the pub? Well
why not sup some beers at my Monthly Quiz Night - which takes
place this Sunday (29th) at
Enfield Lawn Tennis Club, entry from 7p.m. 4 people per team
max. Quiz rounds consist of General Knowledge, Sports,
Specialist(football this month) and Music, with separate Footy
Quick Pick and "Play Your Cards Right" (current prize total £67),
with music, cash prizes and cheap bar - what a way to spend your
Sunday evening! And it's just a stone's throw from junction 24
(Potters Bar) turnoff of the M25 (head for "Enfield - A1005). Give
me a shout if you're interested and want to know more.
The son of the Insulter 26/6/2003, 13:15
Email Not Given
Tennis-it's a girl's game.
Dan Maskell 26/6/2003, 11:55
Email Not Given
What small chance Greg Rusedski had of hauling his long way back
from two sets down against Andy Roddick on Centre Court vanished
in a red rage of anger and expletives when he utterly lost his
control after someone in the crowd had called a shot by the
American out. Roddick was leading 30-15 and serving to save the
third set at 5-2, when his forehand landed on the baseline. "Out"
came the shout and, although Rusedski returned the ball, he had
turned away when Roddick kept it in play. Roddick queried the
incident and was told by the umpire, Lars Graff of Sweden, it was
his point. Rusedski, previously cocooned in deep concentration
having bravely and skilfully battled his way back, was instantly
on the boil and wanted the point replayed. The umpire could have
called a let but decided against it. Still leading 5-3 and with
the set there to be won, Rusedski lost his serve to love and then
launched an extraordinary attack on Graff at the change over. "I
can't do anything if the crowd f*cking calls it," he raged.
"Absolutely f*cking ridiculous. At least replay the point." By now
obscenities were spewing out of Rusedski's mouth like a soiled
fountain. "F*cking ridiculous, f*cking ridiculous, frigging
ridiculous. Some wanker in the crowd changes the whole match and
you allow it to happen. Well done, well done, well done.
Absolutely shit."
Dino 26/6/2003, 10:36
Email Not Given
What's a 'wresting fan'?
delboy 26/6/2003, 0:35
davylfc9@hotmail.com
Nothing said.
mr fixer 25/6/2003, 17:32
Email Not Given
Don't worry mr asker - I've fixed it.
mr asker 25/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
whats the symbol for "there are too many http://'s in the url"?
Simon H 25/6/2003, 13:28
Email Not Given
Found a great (and yet strange) site - the origins of symbols.
Great stuff - particularly for bored office-workers and
blonde-haired teachers from Staffs.
Nick W 25/6/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
The Wiggins Annual Tour of The South just happens to take us
through WGC next Saturday, so expect some spectators. However let
it be known that the chance of getting me to play it squat. I am
quite happy being a Cheerleasder. I will bring pompoms and
everything.
Ann Dee 25/6/2003, 10:29
Email Not Given
Personally speaking it's a bit of a relief, I was wondering how to
break to you that you'd be starting on the bench.
Ken 24/6/2003, 22:3
Email Not Given
That's a piss poor excuse Dave Wid, but you will be missed.
Dave Wid 24/6/2003, 19:16
Email Not Given
I'm gutted mate, its my main asessment. If anyone wants to write
me 2000 words on Dyscalculia, they're welcome!
dave 24/6/2003, 18:1
Email Not Given
That sounds like a copout Dave, I wouldn't expect you to come down
and have a 'drunken weekend'. Thanks for your ideas on how we are
going to replace you - very helpful???
Dave Wid 24/6/2003, 16:55
Email Not Given
Bad news everyone. I can't make the football on the 5th, I am
being inspected at school the following week, so I better not
spend the weekend drunk in St Albans. Big sorry to all, but I get
a feeling that the leftback position can be filled by someone with
at the very least equal ability to me. A goat maybe. Or a very
small injured child.......or Psi.
Dino 24/6/2003, 16:18
Email Not Given
Hmmmm...that's an interesting right pane message Dave...
dave 23/6/2003, 11:47
Email Not Given
...mind you, I didn't back up the database so I'm afraid it's me
who's the fool. Can anyone remember what the last stories were
that have been crudely hacked out of existence?
Dino 23/6/2003, 9:10
Email Not Given
The secret's out that kiddies can just input information into a
text box and magically they have 'hacked' their first web site!!!!
Expect a bombardment of inane, mispelt chatter as the word spreads
quickly around primary schools across the land.
dave 20/6/2003, 23:44
Email Not Given
...and I was really enjoying the re-runs of Cold Feet. You
spoiling smeghead.
The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Or am I?
The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Just kidding.
The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Hermione dies
Simon H 20/6/2003, 15:13
Email Not Given
I once had a hack that caused much amuzement.
Dino 20/6/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
Awww.....
dave 20/6/2003, 0:46
Email Not Given
I shall take him off now... although his hack attack has caused
much amusement
Nick W 19/6/2003, 18:57
Email Not Given
What does "YOU SITe" mean? Maybe I should have done Computer
Science after all, and all would become clear.
Dino 19/6/103, 17:27
Email Not Given
Oh dear...HMB really doesn't get it does he...I would suggest that
he is either under the age of 10 or has the IQ of a 10-year old.
Either way he's a t*sser.
dave 19/6/2003, 16:42
Email Not Given
...oh to 'hack' the site please follow the 'Add a story to the
site' link in the right hand panel.
dave 19/6/2003, 16:41
Email Not Given
I think HMB has misunderstood the use of the word 'hack'. They
have confused 'hacking' with putting their comments into a form
and pressing 'submit'. I mean, it's hardly NASA is it?
I wish that other Madhatters would 'hack' the site in a similar
manner.
The Insulter 19/6/2003, 16:33
Email Not Given
Homo Mincing Bastard
Slon 19/6/2003, 16:27
Email Not Given
Could HMB not simply have added a breaking news story rather than
spending years in Iron Maiden t-shirts learning how to hack?
John 19/6/2003, 15:44
Email Not Given
Has anyone noticed we've been hacked? Look at the Breaking News
box. Seems to be a bit of a waste of effort though. You don't get
web hackers like you used to in the good old days. Where's the
really destructive and offensive stuff? Come on HMB, you're just
not trying.
Dino 19/6/2003, 14:51
Email Not Given
Just watched 'The Angry Silence' - great film!
Slon 19/6/2003, 14:0
Email Not Given
Not necessarily a bad thing
dave 19/6/2003, 13:41
Email Not Given
Surely that would cause a massive paradox which would result in
the end of the Universe... or at the very least the end of the
University of Hertfordshire?
Slon 19/6/2003, 13:46
Email Not Given
I can't talk. I could have one a year behind her. Spending all my
money and crashing my car. Playing that modern music crap late at
night...Oh god, I've become my father.
Mr Definately Anonymous 19/6/2003, 12:50
Email Not Given
No. Thick sandwich followed by a PHD.
Dino 19/6/2003, 12:4
Email Not Given
What - on a two year course?
Slon 19/6/2003, 11:49
Email Not Given
Happy birthday little Shona (now old enough to have a child
finishing at Hatfield) Gilchrist. Where does the time go, eh?
Dino 18/6/2003, 17:11
Email Not Given
Wavey: Are we playing tennis or wot?
The real Dave 18/6/2003, 16:33
Email Not Given
I'm over here in a box. Help.
dave 18/6/2003, 16:32
Email Not Given
Yes, very Tosser
dave 18/6/2003, 16:32
Email Not Given
Tosser
dave 18/6/2003, 16:31
Email Not Given
Very, er, what's that word again?
The Droll Locator 18/6/2003, 15:48
Email Not Given
I am The Droll Locator and I have located droll. Now I must leave,
my work here is done.
John 18/6/2003, 12:42
Email Not Given
Dave Wid et al: NEVER use Latin abbreviations, viz. etc. It makes
you look a ponce. QED.
Dino 18/6/103, 9:46
Email Not Given
NEVER use 'etc' in a sincere apology. Kinda ruins it a bit.
Dave Wid (reading that back again) 18/6/2003, 1:25
Email Not Given
Remind me NEVER to use 'etc' in a sincere apology. Kinda ruins it
a bit.
Dave Wid (reading that back) 18/6/2003, 1:24
Email Not Given
Not that I'm criticising the site, etc. Sorry mate, you know I
love you.
Dave Wid 18/6/2003, 1:23
Email Not Given
Oh Dave, isn't it time you archived all this tasty chat before the
site goes tits up and we lose it (like usual)
Dave Wid 18/6/2003, 1:21
Email Not Given
Sorry my mistake. At least I remember that the plumbers name is
Toni. Right? .............Damned Playtendo 2.
Caroline 17/6/2003, 16:35
Email Not Given
Yoshi is actually the green dinosaur type creature I think you'll
find. Dave Wid... the Mushroom thing is Toadie... I thought we'd
taught you better than that!
Dino 17/6/2003, 16:22
Email Not Given
I wasn't being serious...
Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 15:59
Email Not Given
Its when you're anything but an ape isn't? I don't know, I'm an
x-box man myself.
Dino 17/6/103, 11:19
Email Not Given
*Septesimian
Dino 17/6/2003, 11:13
Email Not Given
No, that's 'Septisemian', it means to pretend to be born in the
Month of September, when you're actually an October Libran.
John 17/6/2003, 10:20
Email Not Given
What's septesimia? Is it the condition of having seven monkeys?
Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 10:6
Email Not Given
Isn't Yoshi that mushroom thing?
Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 10:3
Email Not Given
Sorry Si I was doing a parents evening last night so missed your
call. I then got drunk and went to bed. I will call you later. As
for garralous, I don't think I can spell it when sober.
Dino 17/6/103, 9:5
Email Not Given
Hmm...yesterday I followed the recommended link and regurgitated
my breakfast, today I followed the recommended link and woke up
with my face implanted in my bowl of Shredded Wheat Bitesize. What
polar extremes.
Richard Gere's Hamster 16/6/2003, 23:24
Email Not Given
What's that smell?
Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:52
Email Not Given
I am pissed and garralous and unable to spell garralous
Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:51
Email Not Given
Dave Wid - call us back - it's been three hours since I called
you.
Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:51
Email Not Given
Sorry - Caro is incensed now because Yoshi is her favorite
character not Luigi. For those not familiar with the Nintendo
franchaise, Yoshi is the big pink pelican with septesimia.
Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:48
Email Not Given
Hello kids and welcome to "What do 30something year old Madhatters
do in the evening". Well children, I can reveal now that at chez
Dave et Caro it's 11pm and me, Brian, Dave and Caro are huddled
round the Gamecube drinking A L C O H O L and playing racing
games. Brian cannot control his car. David drives like a 17 year
old from South End on acid and speed and Caro is entirely
disinterested because none of the characters from Mario are
involved. I tell you - stick Luigi in anything and she'd feckin
buy it.
Dino 16/6/2003, 14:37
Email Not Given
Big fish, little fish?
Ken 16/6/2003, 14:11
Email Not Given
Hi John, no I didn't suffer from any sunburn over the weekend.
Dave Pee, I'm really looking forward to the footie, by the way who
are the St Albans Tigers? Roughts any thoughts on formations
etc...
dave 16/6/2003, 11:55
Email Not Given
You're not confusing yourself with a BooBah? I hope people have
seen the Football Banner. Madhatters XI are playing on 11.30am,
5th July at Gosling Sports Park, Welywn G.C. come and see if you
like.
Dave - are you playing?
Dave Wid 16/6/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
I'm slowly turning from blue to pink
John 16/6/2003, 9:9
Email Not Given
Morning all. Anyone else sunburn themselves over the weekend?
Dino 13/6/2003, 10:39
Email Not Given
A friend of mine used to play the trumpet with a mute...he just
turned the pages for him.
dave 12/6/2003, 18:10
Email Not Given
It's a moot point
Dino 12/6/2003, 16:22
Email Not Given
When mutes get together do they 'moot'?
Dave Wid 12/6/2003, 14:50
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Mmmmm hhhgh fffmmmm oooooomm
dave 12/6/2003, 14:19
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mmf
The Observer 12/6/2003, 12:29
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Its quieter than a mutes conference in here.
Dave Wid 11/6/2003, 17:7
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Try now o ancient one.
Dino 11/6/2003, 10:21
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Helloooooo......? This reminds me of the terraces at Watford
FC....
Dino 11/6/2003, 10:5
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Wid: Your link doesn't work.
Dino 10/6/2003, 16:59
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Just realised: Wid, why are you eating brekkies at half 3 in the
afternoon?
Dino 10/6/2003, 16:59
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Ugh! That website rec is disgusting! Why do people do such things
to themselves? Why is being called a 'fruit' so insulting? I like
to compare myself to an apple: skin has the odd imperfection but
crunchily healthy overall! God I need to get out more... Davey P -
when do you want a thrashing at tennis?
Dave Wid 10/6/2003, 15:36
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Thank you for the website recommendation. Put me right off my
breakfast.
THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 13:18
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Leave me alone fruit. Go back to flicking through you Thai Ladyboy
Monthly.
THE Ponderer 10/6/2003, 13:8
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Such anger! Why don't you join me in a bare-chested hug - or are
you too afraid of your masculinity?
THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 13:2
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Sorry about that. Its my nut allergy, it makes me angry you see.
THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 11:34
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Ponce off tw*tface. We don't want any of your trouble here. Though
I must admit the Joker needs a bit of a rowting. But as for you, I
can't believe you find the time to post at all, what with you
being so busy givin' your pappa the reacharound. Ponder that,
a-hole.
THE Ponderer 9/6/2003, 17:12
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Am I Mulder to your Scully?
John 9/6/2003, 16:16
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Scully, is that you? I know you haven't got a job at the moment,
but, Christ, there must be something more constructive you could
do.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:9
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A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in
several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:8
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"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking
Fine.' So that was nice."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:8
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other
one off.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum
or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother
Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think its Colin.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you
give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your
oyster, go for it.'
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:6
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Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:6
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Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up
my backside." "Howzat?" "Don't you start."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:5
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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's
have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes,
then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's
really heavy"
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:5
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"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That
sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not
unusual."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
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Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
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Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
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I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
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A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I
know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
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My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him
in..
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:2
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I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the
steaks are too high."
The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:2
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
The
