The No1 Site For Ex-Uni of Herts People, Old Stage Hands, Friends and Lovers e-mail us | help
MADHATTERS

Home Page

REGULARS
-----------
Your News
Members Page
What's new?
Audio
Birthdays
MH Polls
Picture Gallery
Your Web Site Suggestions
-----------

EVENTS
-----------
NEW Edinburgh Festival Trip 2004
Events Archive

Search the site

MEMORY LANE
-----------
Chat Archives
The Shows
Back Issues

LINKS
-----------
UAC Films
UHDS Site
UH Alumni
The Well Studio
Act2 Productions
Dreaming Fish
Speakeasy
The Love Junkies
FourThree

KEEP IN CONTACT
-----------
Leave, change or add your details



 You are in: CHAT >  Mar 2003 - Aug 2003


CHAT ARCHIVE: Mar 2003 - Aug 2003

Ken 29/8/2003, 15:11
Email Not Given
What about Nick McMahon/ Dave Wid or who could forget Rob Aldridge.

dave 29/8/2003, 14:45
Email Not Given
Anyone fancy auditioning for Popcorn then (see Breaking News)? I'd love to but I can't remember where I left my keys, let alone how to act. Apart from the regular board tredders at Act 2 who would we most like to see back on stage? Si Hopes, Pip Humphrey, Anne-Louise, John Wyatt...

dave 29/8/2003, 9:28
Email Not Given
Thank you one and all for your nice comments about Edinburgh. It was a pleasure and I'm looking forward to doing the same thing next year.

John 29/8/2003, 8:54
Email Not Given
Just wanted to add my thanks to Dave P for organising such a fantastic trip. I've only just recovered from it, hence the late posting.

The Life of Brian 29/8/2003, 8:51
Email Not Given
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy.

dave 28/8/2003, 18:36
Email Not Given
Anyone fancy a Pizza? I'm just going to order one now 'cos I can't be bothered to cook.

Dave Wid 28/8/2003, 10:26
Email Not Given
Watch that old back now Steve.

Dino 27/8/2003, 17:37
Email Not Given
Shut it Blondie, or I'll stamp on your head.

Dave Wid 27/8/2003, 16:12
Email Not Given
I'm sorry Dave, but I'm going to have to tell Caro you've been flirting with Steve. I am now very worried about your clandestine meetings under the guise of a game of tennis.

dave 27/8/2003, 15:16
Email Not Given
That's not a come on...

dave 27/8/2003, 15:16
Email Not Given
Steve, viruses are very clever at spoofing 'from' address fields so you never really know who the mail's come from. Maybe we could continue this conversation over a cup of coffee sometime...

Mikey H 27/8/2003, 14:10
Email Not Given
Do my eyes deceive me? Dave Wid, awake by 13:26 on his school holiday? although with 49 weeks of holiday a year I suppose he's caught up on his sleep by now.

Dave Wid 27/8/2003, 13:26
Email Not Given
No probs Dave.

Steve Phipps 27/8/2003, 13:19
Email Not Given
Dave: You are obviously lucky, but some (unnamed) Madhatters are not. Dodgy emails were sent on their behalf to Cazz and that would only happen if they were infected. Cos the spoofed emails appear to go to random users, not sure how the virus gets the email addresses for them!?!

dave 27/8/2003, 13:13
Email Not Given
That's - SoBig - of you Steve. Thanks. Actually I thought my laptop had been hit on Wed last week but Outlook had blocked the dodgy little attachments, so I was okay.
This virus is a real pain in the arse though so just think about opening attachements that are .pif/.exe files. My e-mail program blocks them automatically. In fact the only files that I do open now are dodgy JPG and GIF files from Dave Wid (Thanks Mate)

Steve Phipps 27/8/2003, 11:17
stephen_phipps@hotmail.com
If you've been infected with the SoBig virus (and a few Madhatters have!) then you need to run this program to disinfect yourself: SoBig Antidote. Since some people have started to receive dodgy emails already - don't assume you are not affected. If you have any concerns, give me a shout and I'll talk you through it.

Jo 26/8/2003, 15:39
Email Not Given
huge thanks to Davey Pee for another fantastic jaunt to Edinburgh. Seems a shame to be back at work!

Simon H 26/8/2003, 11:10
Email Not Given
Anyone who missed The Arguement whilst in Edinburgh but still fancies going - it's on at the Barbican until the 27th. I'll be trying to go towards the end of the month (£12 a ticket) because It's "quite frankly the best thing I've seen on stage since Caro kicked Roger in the nuts in Little Shop". Otherwise a fab trip and really great to get to know all the people I didn't know very well. Latest night record proudly held by myself, Lesley, Louise and Noz with 8am after a ridiculous decision to go and watch the sun rise from up at the castle.

Dino 26/8/2003, 9:3
Email Not Given
Thanks Davey P for a fantastically organised week in "Auld Reekie", but next year if Brian insists on bringing his pigeons with him, then I don't want the adjoining room thanks.!

Lesley 25/8/2003, 17:23
lesley@newmilton.org
Just got back from a weekend spent recovering from Edinburgh - FAB TRIP DAVE!!! Many thanks for organising it, and to all those who went, it was great getting to know you better! See you all at the Speakeasy gig.

Steve D 25/8/2003, 16:7
s.deaville@mailcity.com
A Big Thanks to Dave for organising the trip to Edinburgh. Had a fantastic time. I for 1 will definatly be up for next year. Cheers dave.

Ken 25/8/2003, 11:50
Email Not Given
Thanks Mikey H, I shall indeed be working at the Beeb for 6 months...after that who knows! I would also like to extend congrats to Brian Benson on his successful time in Edinburgh.

Dave 25/8/2003, 1:5
Email Not Given
Hello - just wanted to mention that I'd added some of the pictures from this years Edinburgh Festival trip in the Picture Library. Cheers.

Mikey H 22/8/2003, 17:50
Email Not Given
P.S. Congrats to Ken on his new job at the BEEB!!!

Mikey H 22/8/2003, 17:49
Email Not Given
Just back from Edinburgh after a fantastic week at the festival. Cheers to Dave for organising such a great party and for those of you who didn't go - you missed out on a week of spectacular entertainment (not just on the stage...hey Brian!!), lack of sleep, eating non healthy food, abusing your livers... I'm off for a rest!!!

steve 22/8/2003, 15:29
Email Not Given
loved reading the message s

Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 15:28
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 14:46
Email Not Given
me

Unknown Person 22/8/2003, 13:45
Email Not Given
Who doesn't?

Muhammadd Nadeem 22/8/2003, 13:53
nadeem_prime@yahoo.com
I want to get admission in Ph. D (Maths)

Dave Wid 17/8/2003, 14:18
Email Not Given
I am back from France. Happy Birthday Gary. I suppose you're all in Edinburgh. Well so will I be. Soon. Ok, Monday.

Slon 15/8/2003, 14:22
Email Not Given
And a happy birthday to Roger. What ever happened to you? Didn't you go overseas or something?

Slon 14/8/2003, 15:26
Email Not Given
Congratulations Dino. Helpful tip - don't spend all day on the web at work. Apparently the boss can suddenly come in and catch...Oops got to go.

Dino 14/8/2003, 14:25
Email Not Given
Steve is a wastrel, and as such is quite content to play Age of Empires all day long...

dave 14/8/2003, 13:4
Email Not Given
As one who has watched your plight over the last few years; and how the drama has unfolded on these pages, I am delighted to offer you my congratulations Dino. Has Steve been offered the job also?

Dino 14/8/2003, 12:6
Email Not Given
I would like you all to be the first to know: I AM EMPLOYED AGAIN!!!!!! I shall be working for VISA International starting 1st September...now I need to go take a lie down and contemplate what 'work' means after two years on the governments' invisible unemployment dungheap...

dave 14/8/2003, 11:29
Email Not Given
I thought the Revealer had already 'revealed' themselves. Well, if you don't know. I don't know if PondLife is going to Edinburgh, if I knew who they were I wouldn't have any of it.

Dino 14/8/2003, 9:23
Email Not Given
Davey: I noticed that your email regarding the Fringe addressed "The Revealer", can it be revealed that not only he/she will be at Edinburgh but also The Insulter and The Ponderer too? It would be a jolly wheeze to try and determine which of the 30 or so Madhatters were the aforesaid personalities!

John 13/8/2003, 12:53
Email Not Given
It's not really called Dave Patrick, Dave. It's called Puss. But the rabbit's called Andy Roughton.

Unknown Person 13/8/2003, 13:53
Email Not Given
But Madhatters does exist.

dave 13/8/2003, 13:35
Email Not Given
... hmmm, please stop it now. I have no pets and thus cannot name them after Madhatters - as they do not exist. I would recommend that Madhatters parents do not name their pets after me. Although 'Dave' is a good name for a hamster.

John 13/8/2003, 12:6
Email Not Given
Commiserations Jol and Toni. I didn't know you had a pet named after another Madhatter. By a strange coincidence, my parents' cat is called Dave Patrick. How about that?

Le Burge 12/8/2003, 9:46
Email Not Given
Very wise, young Ashley!

Ashley 12/8/2003, 10:7
Email Not Given
Have I missed something? I saw Honey this morning, chatting with Nathan. I appreciate she may be quite objectionable at times, I would hesitate to refer to her as a dog.

Dino 12/8/2003, 9:25
Email Not Given
Is a lam a small sheep without bite?

Mikey H 12/8/2003, 9:9
Email Not Given
My sincere sympathy to Jol & Toni on the loss of Honey. May doggy heaven be full of lamposts and big bowls of Iams.

dave 11/8/2003, 18:30
Email Not Given
No, say it ain't so Jolyon and Toni! I can't believe it. I remember those times throwing sticks on the beach near Tenby... I hope dog heaven is full of frisbees you can bite. I shall have a drink to my favourite Labrador.

Le Burge 11/8/2003, 10:0
Email Not Given
Eh?

Honey 11/8/2003, 16:13
honey@dogheaven.com
just to write you a quick note whilst i am waiting for the pearly dog flap to open to say a big thanks to you all and a fond fairwell, i think i am the first madhatter to go on the final journey, and must say so far so good, there are loads of big sticks and limited addition frisbees to chew on, and i have only just got here!! love to all

Ashley 11/8/2003, 14:34
Email Not Given
Thanks for the kind birthday wishes everyone. I am celebrating today by being the only person in my office (the other 3 all having started holidays today), and getting my hair cut. Anyway, this wretched heatwave - if it gets any hotter here in Hull, it might go over the 32degree mark, at which point the ice and snow outside my house might melt and expose the beautifully preserved corpse of the Polar Bear I ran over last thaw.

dave 11/8/2003, 14:5
Email Not Given
Hi Martin, I guess you have stop responding to my e-mails because you hate all the spam I keep sending you about gigs, Edinburgh festivals and the like. As for Belch, he got married about 5 years ago to a girl called Tania - Caro and I went up to the wedding and so did Simon Harrowing. Belch has since been very silent since, but I have no doubts he will pop-up at some time. Anyway - we should meet up in St Albans some time.
Steve - your enthusiasm for this Heatwave is surprising, I for one can't wait till the cold snap kicks in. It is very distressing when even sitting down and watching the TV causes you to sweat profusely. And no that's not a cue for a classy ITV2 reality documentary.

Slon 11/8/2003, 13:58
Email Not Given
Good to see the "water-draining-the other-way" myth dragged out and dusted off once more. Happy birthday folks.

Martin Brabham 11/8/2003, 13:13
mbrabham@ntlworld.com
stumbled upon the website - and pleased to recognise some familiar names. Living in Hampshire now (yes back to the gheto from wence i came). Not much has changed there - although i've put on a few pounds and developed some distinctivley silver flashes in my hair. Still wonder what happend to Belch, Ann the hovercraft enthusiast, Shona, Paul (cant remember the surname but was quite tall), Brian etc , My inbox awaits you P.s. Changed my email to mbrabham@ntlworld.com due to the lure of cutprice broadband

Dino 11/8/103, 12:13
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Kath! Has all the blood drained to your head yet? And do you ever get bored watching the water swirl down the plughole anti-clockwise? We're in the middle of a heatwave and it may even last until Edinburgh!!! Yippee!

dave 11/8/2003, 10:47
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Kath in New Zealand, always nice to hear from you on the other side of the world; and thee too Mr Pearson, not in NZ.

John 11/8/2003, 10:27
Email Not Given
HB Kath and Ash. Not hitched, but not entirely single either. But don't worry Ashley, there are plenty of other competitors in the ESSC.

Kath 11/8/2003, 9:20
kath_whibley@hotmail.com
G'day... thought I'd say hi as its my birthday! In fact I get 1and 1/2 days cause its aleady my birthday here in NZ. Cool. Already opened all my pressies and off for a curry tonight in memory of living by curry mile in Manc land...Hope to catch up when we are back in October.. Enjoy the sun!!

Ashley 8/8/2003, 16:40
Email Given
Ah, Twaty, I knew my neologism wouldn't fox you - although Lord Byron and I are impressed by your only slightly dodgy usage of 'sesquipedalian' - a word I've felt has been neglected too too long. Hope you are well. Glad you're not dead, yet. Are you, like most, hitched or getting there? Or are you competing against me in the European Staying Single Championships? There are more questions than answers...

John 8/8/2003, 15:59
Email Not Given
Pearson...Pearson...I think I remember you. Ashley, isn't it? Your typing's coming on - but you still can't spell 'eroticism' I see. Or maybe you were deliberately using an obscure word to show off. How sesquipedalian of you.

dave 8/8/2003, 15:33
Email Not Given
Hi Sion, I've been in my attic today, making up shelving units to try and at least organise some of that 'atticy stuff'. GIven that it's 33 outside I reckon the insulation adds at least another 10 degrees. So I've been working and sweating in intolerable conditions. As Simon pointed out, I could have waited till Autumn. Mind you at least I wasn't at work.

Slon 8/8/2003, 15:26
Email Not Given
30 sodding degrees in my office all week (thats something or other degrees in old money). Someone top that to make me feel that there are people at work worse off.

Lord Pearson of Truro (well, Hull) 8/8/2003, 15:5
ashley.pearson@comet.co.uk
And into this impenetrable mire of drivel, in-jokes and esotericism I shall plunge my over-touted and under-rated views on life, which this week consist largely of me remembering that it's my birthday on 11th. Now if you all behave yourself I may come down to t'smoke for the self-congratulatory 10 years of KeepCheesy gig. But I may not.

Dino 8/8/2003, 9:5
Email Not Given
France? Is that a restaurant in Stoke?

Dave Wid 8/8/2003, 8:40
Email Not Given
iI'm off to france. See you next week in Edinburgh folks!

dave 8/8/2003, 1:11
Email Not Given
Does anyone else think this UK Heatwave is due to global warming, or just hot weather? Or a combination of both, or neither? God, Noel Gallagher isn't very good at guitar solos, can't even do windmills man.

dave 8/8/2003, 1:9
Email Not Given
I mean Norfolk, not Nprfolk, ah feck it.

dave 8/8/2003, 1:9
Email Not Given
Nprfolk...not Norfold. I'm going to bed now, but I won't sleep because it's too darn hot. Actually watching a bit of TV at the moment. It's The Who live in concert with special guest Noel Gallagher on 'Won't Get Fooled Again'. Tchoh! Keith Moon would be turning in his grave - if he was dead - which he is.

dave 8/8/2003, 1:7
Email Not Given
Gaty Coleman - is he part of the famous Norfold mustard family? Or possibly from some obscure sitcom?

Le Burge 7/8/2003, 9:51
Email Not Given
Thanks, TP, for the "Gary Coleman runs for California Governor" story. I'd vote for The Governator - Arnie himself is running - but I can't vote

dave 7/8/2003, 15:45
Email Not Given
Thanks John for breaking the deadlock. It's too hot to do anything much. I was going to get up and get a drink but I was too hot.

John 7/8/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
Phew, that was close.

John 7/8/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
If somebody doesn't post something soon, it's going to be two days with no additions to the site.

dave 5/8/2003, 16:23
Email Not Given
Steve - see EdinburghFirst.com and tell them you are staying at Hermits Croft and wanting to park at East Newington

Dino 5/8/2003, 11:5
Email Not Given
Davey: What was that number you said I should call for parking in EdBoro? Driving away last night was scary - I kept imagining what it would be like to go full throttle down Holywell Hill and smash into the back of the nearest car! That game is frighteningly addictive - so put it away now and get some work done!

John 5/8/2003, 9:1
Email Not Given
Many thanks to everyone for their advice. I think I've found a cheap flight now. See you in Auld Reekie!

Mikey H 5/8/2003, 8:51
Email Not Given
John: We managed to get a British Midland flight from Heathrow to Edinburgh for £90 return... if that helps? or alternatively we could get wing commander Benson to pull a few strings and borrow a RAF plane, and give us all a lift up there!

Dino 4/8/2003, 17:52
Email Not Given
John: I can firmly not recommedn going by coach, unless you like to be sat next to a brut33-soaked Lithuanian, talking gibberish into his phone all the way up, whilst being accosted by the drunk behind you who believes that if he smokes on an air-conditioned coach, the driver won't notice!

Hope that helps?

Le Burge 4/8/2003, 9:39
Email Not Given
Ah, Dave. Yes, Stuart e-mailed me a few weeks ago and I passed on my phone number plus an invitation to stay over before he flies back home. Hopefully he will. Do you have his cell (sorry, mobile) number?

dave 4/8/2003, 16:55
Email Not Given
Ah, sorry John. You see, what you did was make the terrible mistake of leaving it till the last minute. I am able to give you a lift up from St Albans - but back down would be a problem for me as I have a full car on the way home. May I suggest contacting Sir Gary of Stevenbole - he's the only one I can think who may be able to help.

John 4/8/2003, 15:21
Email Not Given
I'm just finalising (panicking about) my Edinburgh travel arrangements. Do any knowledgeable Hatters have advice for getting from Portsmouth to Edinburgh and back? Cheapest air fare I could find was £124 (easyjet). Coach is about £50 but it's 12 (adjectival swearword) hours. Train is also the best part of a ton.

dave 4/8/2003, 14:9
Email Not Given
You wouldn't have seen the coverage he got in the UK papers over his first game for Real. Absolutely mental. Did you know Simon, that Stu is on his way to see you in Santa Monica? He says he'll be arriving on 14th.

Le Burge 30/7/2003, 9:55
Email Not Given
I did post yesterday about the Man U game but the web-site subsequently crashed. Anyway, for Andy and Dave's benefit - Man U, Juventus, Barcelona, Celtic and Club America (Mexican side) are here. 67,000 saw Man U beat Celtic 4-0 in Seattle last week so there is quite a bit of interest. Reasonable coverage in both of the weekend editions of the LA Times. And a 20-minute documentary on David Beckham on HBO last night

Le Burge 30/7/2003, 9:52
Email Not Given
....and hopefully the Joker leaves again.....

The Joker Returns 30/7/2003, 10:29
Email Not Given
The Top Ten Times in History when the 'F' Word was used

10th-Scattered f??king showers my arse- Noah 4314 BC

9th- How the f??kdid you work that out? - Pythagoras 126bc

8th- You want what on the f??king ceiling - Michaelangelo 1566

7th - Where did all those f??king Indians come from?- Custer1877

6th- It does so f??king look like her- Picasso-1926

5th- Where the f??k are we?- Amelia Earhardt 1937

4th- Any f??king idiot could understand that-Einstein 1938

3rd- What the f??k was that?- Mayor of Hiroshima- 1945

2nd - I need this parade like a hole in the f??king head- JFK- 1963

!st- Aw c'mon, Who the f??k is going to find out- Blair

No Hope 29/7/2003, 17:27
Email Not Given
I was doomed from the start.

Bob Hope 29/7/2003, 16:44
Email Not Given
Lawrence. My parents had no imagination.

Claudette Colbert 29/7/2003, 16:43
Email Not Given
What's the "L" stand for?

Bob Hope 29/7/2003, 16:43
Email Not Given
Lawrence L. Lawrence

Dino 29/7/2003, 10:22
Email Not Given
I knew I could rely on you Andy to "upset the apple cart"...anyway, in case nobody else has discovered it yet, go to Google and play around with the language settings..try the Elmer Fudd setting for example...pweskwy wabbet!

Ann Dee 29/7/2003, 10:13
Email Not Given
You certainly should Steve (Phipps that is, of course, just to clear that up, of Stepps Consulting, he's Dino you see, it's because he's dead old). Anyhoo, gawd bless Bob Hope and his Road to Cemetary. And Simon, is there much interest in the Man U games over there? Aren't Celtic and Barcelona over there too? I keep hearing contrasting views on it, "sold out" one day to "we called to get tickets and they asked us where we wanted to sit" the next - I demand to know the truth!

Dino 29/7/2003, 8:35
Email Not Given
Davey: Please refer to me by my handle when I use it...keeps an air of mystery to casual viewers...

Anyway, It was a question, because two emails I sent earlier had bounced back undelivered and so I have forwarded one said email back to you to prove it. Sorry, I'll remove the smug look from my face in a minute. I really should get out more...

dave 28/7/2003, 18:43
Email Not Given
Simon - are Man U really in America?? Have you sold your Chrysler Neon yet?

dave 28/7/2003, 18:42
Email Not Given
Well met Ken, yes adios Mr Hope. Steve, your question is incorrect in every respect. Just because I do not read your e-mail immediately and thus, send back a read receipt, does not mean that I haven't received it. Also - it is not a question.

Le Burge 28/7/2003, 10:27
Email Not Given
Was going to watch the Man U / Club America (actually a Mexican side) on Sunday here in LA but went to the beach instead. As the LA Times put, refering to the game on TV: "For those who don't fancy driving to the Colisium to pay $40 to see the team that David Beckham used to play for!"

Le Burge 28/7/2003, 10:25
Email Not Given
Topless golf? Didn't even see that one?

Ken 28/7/2003, 16:46
Email Not Given
Adios Bob Hope.

Dino 28/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Davey: your email won't receive incoming mail?

Dave Wid 26/7/2003, 17:46
Email Not Given
My Weebl and Bob recommendation was good. They like pie. Mmmmmm. Donkey.

dave 25/7/2003, 16:40
Email Not Given
'Hulk has Willy', very clever. What about 'Ponderer has reason to live'. That would be news.

dave 25/7/2003, 16:11
Email Not Given
... and not a patch on my Electric Six Gaybar link. Come on, where's the quaility??

dave 25/7/2003, 15:42
Email Not Given
...and as if you didn't know it comes hot on the heels of a load of 'shock' recommendations - mainly tumour based. And now we're talking about them - oh god, go on then, gives us another Mr Fecking Clever Pond Face.

dave 25/7/2003, 15:40
Email Not Given
Referring to the 'topless golf' article Andy, before you jump in and cry censorship. I mean, naked women, playing golf...tchoh,it's hardly topless darts is it?

Ann Dee 25/7/2003, 15:10
Email Not Given
I'm confused, hadn't had a little look for a while but there appears to be some editing/censorship going on. If pondlife has said something ridiculous can it be left up for all to ridicule?

dave 25/7/2003, 11:53
Email Not Given
You really are an obvious, sexist tw*t aren't you pond life?

Lesley 23/7/2003, 20:21
Email Not Given
Bizarre... but v amusing!

Dave Wid 23/7/2003, 0:13
Email Not Given
Check em all out. Especially 'Cheese' and 'Art'. They make me laugh.

Ken 22/7/2003, 8:21
Email Not Given
Dave Wid...what a superb site...check out the Christmas episode, v funny.

Unknown Person 21/7/2003, 23:36
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

Unknown Person 21/7/2003, 23:36
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

Dave Wid 21/7/2003, 18:38
Email Not Given
It has been replaced! Try the archives (using the drop down menu) of Weebl and Bob toons. The funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Think they're on MTV2 now. Pie.

dave 21/7/2003, 18:30
Email Not Given
Thanks for nothing Ponderer. Please keep your web site recommendations to yourself you big divot.

Woooarrggh 21/7/2003, 14:2
Email Not Given
Hey Davey, that's just great. Hope you don't waste the time, sitting at home, with beer and satellite telly.

Dave Wid 21/7/2003, 12:59
Email Not Given
Can I please be allowed to point out that this is the first day of the 6 WEEK school holidays. Thank you.

Slon 21/7/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
Lovely indeed thanks Dave. A big thankyou to all who came. I had a great day. Got shedloads of beer left though. People don't drink like they used to. Bruce was the only one who made an effort. Ta Brucey,

dave 20/7/2003, 23:24
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Sion - sorry Caro and I didn't make it up to see you, hope you had a nice day.

Le Burge 18/7/2003, 9:34
Email Not Given
Funny? Er, no

Dave S 18/7/2003, 12:59
djs@ieee.org
Hey All. Anyone got Mr Jarmans email address? ta Ciao 4 now

dave 18/7/2003, 12:24
Email Not Given
Save us. Anyone got anything funny to talk about (not, you Mr Barrymore)

Michael Barrymore 18/7/2003, 11:15
Email Not Given
Anyone want to try my swimming pool?

Dino 18/7/2003, 9:15
Email Not Given
P.S. I realise that this site may now register quite a bit of interest among US Marines, Air Stewards and Michael Barrymore

Dino 18/7/2003, 9:14
Email Not Given
Poptastic Davey! I've been having my own little karoake here...la la la GAY BAR! GAY BAR! GAY BAR!

THE Ponderer 17/7/2003, 15:32
Email Not Given
Boy, did you ever get that right! So many words, so little sense. At least I steer clear of swear words.

THE INSULTERER 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

By the way that was me 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

Unknown Person 17/7/2003, 13:51
Email Not Given
Now look here Ponderer, we don't want none of your half arsed insults round here again. Go back to flicking through your ladyboy catalogue and leave us alone. Tw*tface.

THE Ponderer 17/7/2003, 11:56
Email Not Given
I wonder if the Insulter is a fruit frotter?

The Insulter 13/6/2003, 11:12
Email Not Given
Fig off!

Not John, honest 17/7/2003, 9:33
Email Not Given
...and if the Insulter's obsessed with dried fruit, does that make him the Insultana?

John 17/7/2003, 8:46
Email Not Given
I'm afraid the voice of reason website met its electronic end some time ago. It must be another sad lonely freak's site to which Metro refers, Ken. However, the Insulter's comment makes me wonder whether there's mileage in a website dedicated to badly spelled dried fruit products...

Simon H 17/7/2003, 7:30
Email Not Given
Ah yes - The Macc Lads. My second favorite band after the Berlin Philharmonic.

The Insulter 17/7/2003, 0:36
Email Not Given
The Voice of Rasin

dave 16/7/2003, 23:9
Email Not Given
The Voice of Reason? I thought that closed down due to lack of interest on John's part? Surely another voice of reason?

Ken 16/7/2003, 21:5
Email Not Given
Evening all...Mr Wyatt, I daresay that you would not have got a copy of the free London morning newspaper called Metro, the reason being was that I think your website "The Voice of Reason" was featured as one of a select group taking the 'Michael' out of Saddam Hussien. I will keep hold of my copy of the article for you until I next see you.

Dino 16/7/2003, 16:2
Email Not Given
Is 'Stan Boardman' a Viz character a la Roger?

Stan Boardman 16/7/2003, 13:42
Email Not Given
Are you that posh git who talks about paintings with a plum in his gob? I think you're a faggot!

Brian Sewell 16/7/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
Viz isn't as funny as it used to be, but then, what is? If you can ignore a lot of rubbish, there's stil a handful of well-crafted gags to be enjoyed.

dave 16/7/2003, 12:15
Email Not Given
Does anybody still read Viz? I haven't seen a copy for ages... is it funny still? I had to leave after 'Billy the Fish' was cruely usurped by 'Big Vern'.

John 16/7/2003, 11:43
Email Not Given
...which was nice.

The Macc Lads 16/7/2003, 11:42
Email Not Given
Her name's Sweaty Betty and she lives on a sewage farm, Put me hand in her pants and she nearly swallowed me arm...

John 16/7/2003, 11:42
Email Not Given
Sadly, I think it's the Macc Lads - whose lyrics were quoted by an unknown person a few messages ago - rather than UHDS who warranted Kerry's approval. But I think I can add to the Macc Lads lyrics quotations:

Dino 15/7/2003, 16:56
Email Not Given
"Work"? I wish you wouldn't keep using such confusing terms! "Work"...?

dave 15/7/2003, 16:36
Email Not Given
Pass, I believe in the eyes of the young kids of today 'wicked' means 'good'. So if we interpolate that by 'you guys' she means Madhatters, then her sentiment is essentially Madhatters are good. Now does she mean good in a benevolent, charitable way or good in a friendly, cool way, or perhaps she may have seen us 'act' in some of our UHDS days in which case she must be clearly derranged? I personally wouldn't worry about it too much, but then I am stalling for time... ho, hum back to work.

Dino 15/7/2003, 15:34
Email Not Given
Am I missing something - Is young Kerry a fan of the inane chatter that passes for a weblog in Amateurdramaticsville?

kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:25
01kerllo
you guys are wicked

kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:24
01kerllo
you guys are wicked

kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:23
01kerllo
are you going to be performing around herefordshire and worcester?if youare then when and what time/

kerry lloyd 15/7/2003, 15:22
01kerllo
when are younext performing?

THE Ponderer 15/7/2003, 14:33
Email Not Given
Thank you.

Dave Wid 15/7/2003, 11:54
Email Not Given
Good website recommendation!

Dave Wid 15/7/2003, 11:52
Email Not Given
Noz and I are going to form an Ideas factory in the summer. You come to us, we'll have ideas. Other previous ideas include:Micro Pies 'their like pies, but small!', Zombie Westerns, Dwarf Football and Interactive Murder TVs.

Stan Boardman 15/7/2003, 11:26
Email Not Given
NB- Collective nouns: Pack of bastards; Shower of c*nts; Clump of crack; Mince of poofs etc

Unknown Person 15/7/2003, 10:46
Email Not Given
Cleaned my teeth, put on my best clobber, Tonight's the night I'm going to knob her Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust, But you can't shag a bird on a 29 bus Beer and sex and chips and gravy, its all a Macc Lad wants Beer and sex and chips and gravy, and a tasty bit of clump Get up off the floor, finish your chips, we're going to sup some more Pulled the bird down the Fox & Grapes Game of darts and a lot of beer 'Can you hold your liquor (licker) love?' 'Yes I can, always by the ears.' Treat your women like toilets They're happy when you're abusing them But toilets don't follow you round when you've finished using them

Dino 15/7/2003, 9:5
Email Not Given
John, Maybe we could form an association - The Federation for the Employment of Madhatters, and for the Delivery of Occupational Mastery...or FEM-DOM for short - sounds catchy doesn't it! We could both pay ourselves whatever we see fit and invite other unemployed 'Hatters to join us.

Heidi Klum 14/7/2003, 17:0
Email Not Given
I'd also like to be your friend. Oh and congratulations Mr Wid, I imagine they'll be a lot hi-jinx and japery come next term, yarr. Damn, given myself away m'hearties, yarr. Thar be dragons and dubloons.

John 14/7/2003, 16:23
Email Not Given
No, it wasn't Dave. It was me. I'm bored beyond belief. Does anyone want to give me a job? I can sub-edit - layout and headlines and everything.

Dave 14/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Actually, that was me as well.

Dave's friends 14/7/2003, 16:1
Email Not Given
Dave, don't worry, you're not just talking to yourself. Many of us are out here, just watching, not saying anything. We're all your friends.

Dave Wid 14/7/2003, 15:42
Email Not Given
Avast yee! Yarr! They be passin' me they be. I's goin to be a teacer. Yarr!

Mr LateEightiesMetal 14/7/2003, 15:31
Email Not Given
Faster Pussycat, WASP, Poison, Cinderella, Motley Crue? I can't trace it..is it Dio? No, what would the grandfather of rock be doing with a Viva, let alone a rusty one. He would have a chariot worthy of a Warlock master and suitable to cart any rescued Damsels around in comfort. Maybe one of the NWOBHM bands, Saxon, UFO, Tygers of Pan Tang perhaps? Alright I'll get back to work. Erm, is it Wishbone Ash?

Simon H 14/7/2003, 14:50
Email Not Given
Mike H - complete the following late eighties heavy metal lyric... "Vauxhall Viva's covered in rust......."

Simon H 14/7/2003, 14:48
Email Not Given
I also think Edinburgh is one of the best holidays you can have. Apart from perhaps a month in a beach hut in Phuket with Kirsten Dunst. Or maybe three weeks skiing in the Alps with Heidi Klum. Or perhaps a Kenyan safari with the Minogue sisters. Or maybe even a long cruize with all five members of Girls Aloud. Erm... there's a pattern developing here.

dave 14/7/2003, 14:13
Email Not Given
Ah, well you see, you know when you've got loads of boring work to do, etc. What better way to distract you from you main tasks than posting inane messages mainly to yourself on a chat forum of your own making. It's like the madness of talking to yourself but with the added bonus of inviting your friends to witness it.
Ediinburgh - thanks Mike got your cheques this morning. Erm, where to start - it's a week of culture, eating and drinking in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. With literally thousands of shows, some groundbreaking new theatre, great stand-up (and some terrible stuff as well), art exhibitions, book festivals, tatoo's, there's almost too much to take in. I think it's one of the best holidays you can have - relaxing, no but stimulating beyond all doubt. Have a look at edfringe.com for more info.

Mikey H 14/7/2003, 13:28
Email Not Given
me thinks that Dave has got time on his hands today...... why not tell us a bit more about Edinburgh Dave... after all it's only 5 weeks away......

dave 14/7/2003, 12:57
Email Not Given
That was me. Sorry. T'is true.

The Sea Captain 14/7/2003, 12:47
Email Not Given
Splice the mainbrace, set The Black Pig on course for the tropics, yaar. T'is less taxing being a pirate than a teacher, yaar. I just heard their was gold in yer belly, Squiddy.

Dave Wid 14/7/2003, 12:22
Email Not Given
Similarly. 'Tis them nasty buggers from QLS. They be assessing me they be. Avast!

dave 14/7/2003, 11:24
Email Not Given
Whither doth thou stress? Is it to do with those cheeky inspectors from OFSTED?

dave 14/7/2003, 11:23
Email Not Given
Don't be stressed Dave. Calm, deep breathing, lovely oceans, panoramic vistas, panorama, documentaries, the war on terror, weapons of mass destruction, horrible grizzly death. I'll shut up now.

Dave Wid The Stressed 14/7/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh! I am very stressed.

Weebl 13/7/2003, 10:4
Email Not Given
'pee Birthday. Hairy Brian. Bring pie now. mmmmmm. Birthday pie.

Matt B 10/7/2003, 13:49
Email Not Given
Dave, you should really sort out your 24hr clock, its not well, has anyone seen Andy recently, I'm worried about him, ever since that thing with the stuff & the wotsit - he hasn'e been the....you know.

Matt B 10/7/2003, 13:47
Email Not Given
Wow its late, Dave, I know its your birthday but you should go to bed now!

Ken 10/7/2003, 20:46
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Dave & Bruce.

Dino 10/7/103, 17:13
Email Not Given
'Tis true that I am aged far beyond your scope, but I have neither the paunch, grey hairs nor lined face for my age. WHat's more, these are all my teeth, and my hairline has stopped receding.

Dave Wid 10/7/2003, 15:2
Email Not Given
I know he's starting to gain badger like looks but he's not quite up to your Chelsea Pensioner level yet.

Dino 10/7/103, 14:45
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday mate! Have you caught me up yet?

Dave Wid 10/7/2003, 11:7
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Man. I love you, Man. Give us a hug.

Stan Boardman 10/7/2003, 11:4
Email Not Given
Harry Kewell

Stan Boardman 10/7/2003, 11:4
Email Not Given
I thought it is Dave's birthday tomorrow?

Homer 9/7/2003, 19:22
Email Not Given
That's all very well but what happened to the beer again? Hmm, Beer, sweet, sweet aahhhhhggghhh.

The Philosopher 9/7/2003, 13:11
Email Not Given
Subject: Philosophy…

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks - rocks about 2" in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- "yes."

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party, and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

dave 8/7/2003, 16:5
Email Not Given
Oh, freedom of speech is a beautiful thing.

Unknown Person 8/7/2003, 18:42
Email Not Given
wanna know the dirty country 4 sex go to google and search bangkok tonight

Unknown Person 8/7/2003, 18:39
Email Not Given
suck my ..................?

Dave Wid 8/7/2003, 11:40
Email Not Given
Good result lads, wish I'd been there. Just think, it could have been 5-5, or even a 5-6 loss. Well maybe next time.

dave 8/7/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Happy Tom Pitt Birthday Chambers.

Unknown Person 7/7/2003, 14:13
Email Not Given
Nothing said.

The Cat 7/7/2003, 14:6
steve@stephenfrench.co.uk
Davey, Nice review! Worthy of many a newspaper back page. Yes, if/when we play again, it might be an idea for someone to 'remind' me of the rules, or in fact just 'mind' me of them as it's trys and scrums I'm used to and not passback rules and offsides. Still it was good (mostly!) clean fun. Looking forward to round 2.

Ken 7/7/2003, 14:8
Email Not Given
As mentioned previously Dave Pee, thanks for organising the match hopefully by the time the next one comes around I will have a bionic knee impervious to cuts, bruises etc...It was a great team performance, well done Roughts on skippering the side.

dave 7/7/2003, 10:52
Email Not Given
The football this weekend - well we won! Have a look at the review I have just posted.

Unknown Person 7/7/2003, 8:30
Email Not Given
Score for what Dave?

Dave Wid 6/7/2003, 16:0
Email Not Given
So, what was the score????

dave 4/7/2003, 12:8
Email Not Given
"You are"

dave 4/7/2003, 10:31
Email Not Given
... not unless your prepared for the consequences

dave 4/7/2003, 10:30
Email Not Given
Go to google enter 'anal porn surprise' and see what you get back. (Don't press the I'm feeling lucky button).

kev 4/7/2003, 8:31
kevin@taverner.co.uk
Go to Google and enter 'French Military Victories'. Click I'm feeling lucky.

Dino 3/7/103, 17:12
Email Not Given
Have a good weekend Hatters! I'm off to a wedding in Lymm - don't kick seven bells out of each other at the footy will you! At least wait until I get a chance to play again...!

laura mcilwaine 3/7/2003, 15:23
loser@sciencefreek.com
hey john im always watching you. That girl outside your window at nights - thats me1 keep an i out John! :)

John 3/7/2003, 15:11
shitscared@surveillancephobia.com
What's the laugh? Seeing how many minutes it takes for the FBI to break down your door?

Gary Stevenson 3/7/2003, 14:9
Email Not Given
For a laugh go to Google and enter 'Weapons of mass destruction'. Click I'm feeling lucky.

Justin 3/7/2003, 13:6
Email Not Given
Hi John, Life in Norwich is currently wet (well not here at my desk you understand, but outside it is!) Appart from being soggy life is good. I'm ripping out the kitchen at the moment with a new one arriving from the IKEA home improvement emporium today (hopefully)...

John 3/7/2003, 12:26
Email Not Given
How's life in Norwich, Justin?

Unknown Person 3/7/2003, 11:48
Email Not Given
????

Justin 3/7/2003, 9:15
Email Not Given
Oh, and the database thingy seems to add its own "http://" so the URL only works if you remove the first (or second, presumably!) "http://".

Justin 3/7/2003, 9:13
Email Not Given
Dave, just wanted to apologise for messing up the right hand bar on the site by recommending a site with a lllooooonnnnggg URL. Seems that everything is centered so now have massive scroll bars. Can I now call myself a hacker (although I do seem to have mislaid my Iron Maiden T-Shirt)?

Sarah 2/7/2003, 22:28
Email Not Given
Well spotted John!

John 2/7/2003, 18:22
Email Not Given
Lesley, is that your real email address?

Ken 2/7/2003, 14:33
Email Not Given
Anyone else excited about the footie match this weekend?

Liz 2/7/2003, 10:56
Email Not Given
John - why do you smell of rats?

John (not Ken) 2/7/2003, 9:4
Email Not Given
Yes, it's me...I can't pass myself off as Ken (tried it, Sarah smelt a rat straight away). The Ford Ka is having a jet engine and a parachute fitted at the weekend. Flames painted down the side and hugely inflated rear tyres are also being considered.

Le Burge 1/7/2003, 13:13
Email Not Given
Sorry Lesley, can't make it....

lesley 30/6/2003, 19:48
lesy@newmilton.org
Hi all, I've e-mailed some of you already, but in case I missed out anyone important, I'm having a house warming get together on Saturday 19th July. So if anyone feels like coming to sunny Southampton, drop me a line and I'll send you details. It will probably be a small, select gathering of strangers I've dragged in off the streets.

Ken, John or whatever my name is (Whoops!) 30/6/2003, 17:47
Email Not Given
I would also heartily recommend the food at the Scullion's. John, how was Santa Pod and will you be converting your Ford Ka into a drag racer?

John 30/6/2003, 17:45
Email Not Given
I would also heartily recommend the food at the Scullion's. John, how was Santa Pod and will you be converting your Ford Ka into a drag racer?

John 30/6/2003, 13:46
bernardmanning@comedy.com
Based on this weekend's experience, I would thoroughly recommend going round to the Scullions' house, having dinner and then going drag racing on Sunday afternoon. The dress got a bit uncomfortable after a while though.

scully 29/6/2003, 19:17
Email Not Given
Nick - look forward muchly to seeing yourself, Mrs W and Thomas next saturday. - Enjoy your tour!

dave 27/6/2003, 10:38
Email Not Given
Ouch - Steve that hurts. Will try and come over.

Steve Phipps 26/6/2003, 13:46
stephen_phipps@hotmail.com

Sunday evening...do you often waste it going down the pub? Well why not sup some beers at my Monthly Quiz Night - which takes place this Sunday (29th) at Enfield Lawn Tennis Club, entry from 7p.m. 4 people per team max. Quiz rounds consist of General Knowledge, Sports, Specialist(football this month) and Music, with separate Footy Quick Pick and "Play Your Cards Right" (current prize total £67), with music, cash prizes and cheap bar - what a way to spend your Sunday evening! And it's just a stone's throw from junction 24 (Potters Bar) turnoff of the M25 (head for "Enfield - A1005). Give me a shout if you're interested and want to know more.

The son of the Insulter 26/6/2003, 13:15
Email Not Given
Tennis-it's a girl's game.

Dan Maskell 26/6/2003, 11:55
Email Not Given
What small chance Greg Rusedski had of hauling his long way back from two sets down against Andy Roddick on Centre Court vanished in a red rage of anger and expletives when he utterly lost his control after someone in the crowd had called a shot by the American out. Roddick was leading 30-15 and serving to save the third set at 5-2, when his forehand landed on the baseline. "Out" came the shout and, although Rusedski returned the ball, he had turned away when Roddick kept it in play. Roddick queried the incident and was told by the umpire, Lars Graff of Sweden, it was his point. Rusedski, previously cocooned in deep concentration having bravely and skilfully battled his way back, was instantly on the boil and wanted the point replayed. The umpire could have called a let but decided against it. Still leading 5-3 and with the set there to be won, Rusedski lost his serve to love and then launched an extraordinary attack on Graff at the change over. "I can't do anything if the crowd f*cking calls it," he raged. "Absolutely f*cking ridiculous. At least replay the point." By now obscenities were spewing out of Rusedski's mouth like a soiled fountain. "F*cking ridiculous, f*cking ridiculous, frigging ridiculous. Some wanker in the crowd changes the whole match and you allow it to happen. Well done, well done, well done. Absolutely shit."

Dino 26/6/2003, 10:36
Email Not Given
What's a 'wresting fan'?

delboy 26/6/2003, 0:35
davylfc9@hotmail.com
Nothing said.

mr fixer 25/6/2003, 17:32
Email Not Given
Don't worry mr asker - I've fixed it.

mr asker 25/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
whats the symbol for "there are too many http://'s in the url"?

Simon H 25/6/2003, 13:28
Email Not Given
Found a great (and yet strange) site - the origins of symbols. Great stuff - particularly for bored office-workers and blonde-haired teachers from Staffs.

Nick W 25/6/2003, 13:7
Email Not Given
The Wiggins Annual Tour of The South just happens to take us through WGC next Saturday, so expect some spectators. However let it be known that the chance of getting me to play it squat. I am quite happy being a Cheerleasder. I will bring pompoms and everything.

Ann Dee 25/6/2003, 10:29
Email Not Given
Personally speaking it's a bit of a relief, I was wondering how to break to you that you'd be starting on the bench.

Ken 24/6/2003, 22:3
Email Not Given
That's a piss poor excuse Dave Wid, but you will be missed.

Dave Wid 24/6/2003, 19:16
Email Not Given
I'm gutted mate, its my main asessment. If anyone wants to write me 2000 words on Dyscalculia, they're welcome!

dave 24/6/2003, 18:1
Email Not Given
That sounds like a copout Dave, I wouldn't expect you to come down and have a 'drunken weekend'. Thanks for your ideas on how we are going to replace you - very helpful???

Dave Wid 24/6/2003, 16:55
Email Not Given
Bad news everyone. I can't make the football on the 5th, I am being inspected at school the following week, so I better not spend the weekend drunk in St Albans. Big sorry to all, but I get a feeling that the leftback position can be filled by someone with at the very least equal ability to me. A goat maybe. Or a very small injured child.......or Psi.

Dino 24/6/2003, 16:18
Email Not Given
Hmmmm...that's an interesting right pane message Dave...

dave 23/6/2003, 11:47
Email Not Given
...mind you, I didn't back up the database so I'm afraid it's me who's the fool. Can anyone remember what the last stories were that have been crudely hacked out of existence?

Dino 23/6/2003, 9:10
Email Not Given
The secret's out that kiddies can just input information into a text box and magically they have 'hacked' their first web site!!!! Expect a bombardment of inane, mispelt chatter as the word spreads quickly around primary schools across the land.

dave 20/6/2003, 23:44
Email Not Given
...and I was really enjoying the re-runs of Cold Feet. You spoiling smeghead.

The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Or am I?

The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Just kidding.

The Spoiler 20/6/2003, 17:16
Email Not Given
Hermione dies

Simon H 20/6/2003, 15:13
Email Not Given
I once had a hack that caused much amuzement.

Dino 20/6/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
Awww.....

dave 20/6/2003, 0:46
Email Not Given
I shall take him off now... although his hack attack has caused much amusement

Nick W 19/6/2003, 18:57
Email Not Given
What does "YOU SITe" mean? Maybe I should have done Computer Science after all, and all would become clear.

Dino 19/6/103, 17:27
Email Not Given
Oh dear...HMB really doesn't get it does he...I would suggest that he is either under the age of 10 or has the IQ of a 10-year old. Either way he's a t*sser.

dave 19/6/2003, 16:42
Email Not Given
...oh to 'hack' the site please follow the 'Add a story to the site' link in the right hand panel.

dave 19/6/2003, 16:41
Email Not Given
I think HMB has misunderstood the use of the word 'hack'. They have confused 'hacking' with putting their comments into a form and pressing 'submit'. I mean, it's hardly NASA is it?
I wish that other Madhatters would 'hack' the site in a similar manner.

The Insulter 19/6/2003, 16:33
Email Not Given
Homo Mincing Bastard

Slon 19/6/2003, 16:27
Email Not Given
Could HMB not simply have added a breaking news story rather than spending years in Iron Maiden t-shirts learning how to hack?

John 19/6/2003, 15:44
Email Not Given
Has anyone noticed we've been hacked? Look at the Breaking News box. Seems to be a bit of a waste of effort though. You don't get web hackers like you used to in the good old days. Where's the really destructive and offensive stuff? Come on HMB, you're just not trying.

Dino 19/6/2003, 14:51
Email Not Given
Just watched 'The Angry Silence' - great film!

Slon 19/6/2003, 14:0
Email Not Given
Not necessarily a bad thing

dave 19/6/2003, 13:41
Email Not Given
Surely that would cause a massive paradox which would result in the end of the Universe... or at the very least the end of the University of Hertfordshire?

Slon 19/6/2003, 13:46
Email Not Given
I can't talk. I could have one a year behind her. Spending all my money and crashing my car. Playing that modern music crap late at night...Oh god, I've become my father.

Mr Definately Anonymous 19/6/2003, 12:50
Email Not Given
No. Thick sandwich followed by a PHD.

Dino 19/6/2003, 12:4
Email Not Given
What - on a two year course?

Slon 19/6/2003, 11:49
Email Not Given
Happy birthday little Shona (now old enough to have a child finishing at Hatfield) Gilchrist. Where does the time go, eh?

Dino 18/6/2003, 17:11
Email Not Given
Wavey: Are we playing tennis or wot?

The real Dave 18/6/2003, 16:33
Email Not Given
I'm over here in a box. Help.

dave 18/6/2003, 16:32
Email Not Given
Yes, very Tosser

dave 18/6/2003, 16:32
Email Not Given
Tosser

dave 18/6/2003, 16:31
Email Not Given
Very, er, what's that word again?

The Droll Locator 18/6/2003, 15:48
Email Not Given
I am The Droll Locator and I have located droll. Now I must leave, my work here is done.

John 18/6/2003, 12:42
Email Not Given
Dave Wid et al: NEVER use Latin abbreviations, viz. etc. It makes you look a ponce. QED.

Dino 18/6/103, 9:46
Email Not Given
NEVER use 'etc' in a sincere apology. Kinda ruins it a bit.

Dave Wid (reading that back again) 18/6/2003, 1:25
Email Not Given
Remind me NEVER to use 'etc' in a sincere apology. Kinda ruins it a bit.

Dave Wid (reading that back) 18/6/2003, 1:24
Email Not Given
Not that I'm criticising the site, etc. Sorry mate, you know I love you.

Dave Wid 18/6/2003, 1:23
Email Not Given
Oh Dave, isn't it time you archived all this tasty chat before the site goes tits up and we lose it (like usual)

Dave Wid 18/6/2003, 1:21
Email Not Given
Sorry my mistake. At least I remember that the plumbers name is Toni. Right? .............Damned Playtendo 2.

Caroline 17/6/2003, 16:35
Email Not Given
Yoshi is actually the green dinosaur type creature I think you'll find. Dave Wid... the Mushroom thing is Toadie... I thought we'd taught you better than that!

Dino 17/6/2003, 16:22
Email Not Given
I wasn't being serious...

Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 15:59
Email Not Given
Its when you're anything but an ape isn't? I don't know, I'm an x-box man myself.

Dino 17/6/103, 11:19
Email Not Given
*Septesimian

Dino 17/6/2003, 11:13
Email Not Given
No, that's 'Septisemian', it means to pretend to be born in the Month of September, when you're actually an October Libran.

John 17/6/2003, 10:20
Email Not Given
What's septesimia? Is it the condition of having seven monkeys?

Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 10:6
Email Not Given
Isn't Yoshi that mushroom thing?

Dave Wid 17/6/2003, 10:3
Email Not Given
Sorry Si I was doing a parents evening last night so missed your call. I then got drunk and went to bed. I will call you later. As for garralous, I don't think I can spell it when sober.

Dino 17/6/103, 9:5
Email Not Given
Hmm...yesterday I followed the recommended link and regurgitated my breakfast, today I followed the recommended link and woke up with my face implanted in my bowl of Shredded Wheat Bitesize. What polar extremes.

Richard Gere's Hamster 16/6/2003, 23:24
Email Not Given
What's that smell?

Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:52
Email Not Given
I am pissed and garralous and unable to spell garralous

Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:51
Email Not Given
Dave Wid - call us back - it's been three hours since I called you.

Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:51
Email Not Given
Sorry - Caro is incensed now because Yoshi is her favorite character not Luigi. For those not familiar with the Nintendo franchaise, Yoshi is the big pink pelican with septesimia.

Simon H 16/6/2003, 22:48
Email Not Given
Hello kids and welcome to "What do 30something year old Madhatters do in the evening". Well children, I can reveal now that at chez Dave et Caro it's 11pm and me, Brian, Dave and Caro are huddled round the Gamecube drinking A L C O H O L and playing racing games. Brian cannot control his car. David drives like a 17 year old from South End on acid and speed and Caro is entirely disinterested because none of the characters from Mario are involved. I tell you - stick Luigi in anything and she'd feckin buy it.

Dino 16/6/2003, 14:37
Email Not Given
Big fish, little fish?

Ken 16/6/2003, 14:11
Email Not Given
Hi John, no I didn't suffer from any sunburn over the weekend. Dave Pee, I'm really looking forward to the footie, by the way who are the St Albans Tigers? Roughts any thoughts on formations etc...

dave 16/6/2003, 11:55
Email Not Given
You're not confusing yourself with a BooBah? I hope people have seen the Football Banner. Madhatters XI are playing on 11.30am, 5th July at Gosling Sports Park, Welywn G.C. come and see if you like.
Dave - are you playing?

Dave Wid 16/6/2003, 11:33
Email Not Given
I'm slowly turning from blue to pink

John 16/6/2003, 9:9
Email Not Given
Morning all. Anyone else sunburn themselves over the weekend?

Dino 13/6/2003, 10:39
Email Not Given
A friend of mine used to play the trumpet with a mute...he just turned the pages for him.

dave 12/6/2003, 18:10
Email Not Given
It's a moot point

Dino 12/6/2003, 16:22
Email Not Given
When mutes get together do they 'moot'?

Dave Wid 12/6/2003, 14:50
Email Not Given
Mmmmm hhhgh fffmmmm oooooomm

dave 12/6/2003, 14:19
Email Not Given
mmf

The Observer 12/6/2003, 12:29
Email Not Given
Its quieter than a mutes conference in here.

Dave Wid 11/6/2003, 17:7
Email Not Given
Try now o ancient one.

Dino 11/6/2003, 10:21
Email Not Given
Helloooooo......? This reminds me of the terraces at Watford FC....

Dino 11/6/2003, 10:5
Email Not Given
Wid: Your link doesn't work.

Dino 10/6/2003, 16:59
Email Not Given
Just realised: Wid, why are you eating brekkies at half 3 in the afternoon?

Dino 10/6/2003, 16:59
Email Not Given
Ugh! That website rec is disgusting! Why do people do such things to themselves? Why is being called a 'fruit' so insulting? I like to compare myself to an apple: skin has the odd imperfection but crunchily healthy overall! God I need to get out more... Davey P - when do you want a thrashing at tennis?

Dave Wid 10/6/2003, 15:36
Email Not Given
Thank you for the website recommendation. Put me right off my breakfast.

THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 13:18
Email Not Given
Leave me alone fruit. Go back to flicking through you Thai Ladyboy Monthly.

THE Ponderer 10/6/2003, 13:8
Email Not Given
Such anger! Why don't you join me in a bare-chested hug - or are you too afraid of your masculinity?

THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 13:2
Email Not Given
Sorry about that. Its my nut allergy, it makes me angry you see.

THE Insulter 10/6/2003, 11:34
Email Not Given
Ponce off tw*tface. We don't want any of your trouble here. Though I must admit the Joker needs a bit of a rowting. But as for you, I can't believe you find the time to post at all, what with you being so busy givin' your pappa the reacharound. Ponder that, a-hole.

THE Ponderer 9/6/2003, 17:12
Email Not Given
Am I Mulder to your Scully?

John 9/6/2003, 16:16
Email Not Given
Scully, is that you? I know you haven't got a job at the moment, but, Christ, there must be something more constructive you could do.

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:9
Email Not Given
A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:8
Email Not Given
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:8
Email Not Given
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think its Colin.

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:7
Email Not Given
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:6
Email Not Given
Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:6
Email Not Given
Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "Howzat?" "Don't you start."

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:5
Email Not Given
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:5
Email Not Given
"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not unusual."

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
Email Not Given
Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
Email Not Given
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:4
Email Not Given
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
Email Not Given
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
Email Not Given
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:3
Email Not Given
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in..

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:2
Email Not Given
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

The Joker Returns 9/6/2003, 15:2
Email Not Given
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

The