My Nan 30/11/2000, 17:34
Email
Not Given
Now, now now, what's all this then. Rude words - I've never heard
anything like it in all my days. Even when the bombs were dropping
on us. Mind you, we didn't have the time to use blue language
during the war - we were too busy fighting Jerry. Well, most of us
were - I was running a nice little B&B in Scotland. The only
fighting I did was trying to keep Mr Robbins from room 7 from
touching my furry down-belows every time I turned my back. Still,
all this must just seem like another world to you kids with your
new-fangled 'playstations' and your 'computers' and your 'cheese'.
Oh well, must pop off and empty the bedpan and turn your Uncle
Arthur over. Ta ta.
Ken 30/11/2000, 17:27
Email
Not Given
Great photos Kev and Jenny
Potter 30/11/2000, 14:45
Email
Not Given
Why dont you pop up to the Potteries Barry and start using phrases
like 'Gay Stoke on Trent', I'm sure you'll get a deservedly frosty
reception. Oh yeah, and you'd get a serious twatting.
Our Barry 30/11/2000, 12:54
Email
Not Given
Eh,eh,eh,eh,all right, all right, calm down, calm down, Mr Wid
it's better to be a scouser than gay Stoke on Trent shirt lifting
fudge packer.
kath 30/11/2000, 12:20
kathryn.whibley@weightmans.com
So, I thought I'd look at the nice new photos and see Mr Wild
making some nasty comments about scousers! Oh what a poor loser!!
A reminder that I am all doing panto too, in Altrincham from the
23 December as little Bo Beep and the wicked witch. Anyone up
north at the time is welcome to come and see me pracing round the
stage in a pink dress! See ya
Dave Wid 30/11/2000, 10:51
Email
Not Given
Filthy gypo scousers stole all our goals.
Simon H. 30/11/2000, 10:2
Email
Not Given
Cool photos - well done all.
The Goader 30/11/2000, 9:43
Email
Not Given
Stoke 0 Liverpool 8....Mr Wid have you any comments?
Dave Wid 29/11/2000, 15:29
Email
Not Given
Booooooo! HSsssssssssss!
Simon H 29/11/2000, 15:32
Email
Not Given
Don't forget to wash the little general.
dave 29/11/2000, 14:53
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Good luck Panto boy... I would love to come and see you but I have
to go home and have a bath.
Dave Wid 29/11/2000, 14:12
Email
Not Given
Oh No It Isn't!........oh sorry...er.....Oh yes it is...Yes its
the opening night of Cinderella tonight and to be plain and honest
about it, I need a wipe. I was wondering if Bruce could understudy
an Ugly Sister, seeing as he's used to wearing dresses.
Simon H. 29/11/2000, 9:49
Email
Not Given
Oh yes - its the opening night of the Dave Wild panto
extravaganza. GOOD LUCK MATE Break a leg, or whatever. Although I
pose the question - what's he putting in his creamy pies ?!
Bart van Bostelen 28/11/2000, 15:26
Email
Not Given
Zee Madhatters, yah. Groovee.
Dave Wid 28/11/2000, 14:26
Email
Not Given
What do you think boys and girls, shall we give him a taste of our
creamy pies?
Dave Wid 28/11/2000, 11:48
Email
Not Given
Its Behind You!
Steve French 27/11/2000, 17:49
cosa@nostra.fsnet.co.uk
Yo gang, At last I've found the time to enter the amazing on-line
world of the Madhatters. Very impressed Davey, although it does
look as though you spend your whole life tapping on the keyboard.
How much time does all this biz take you??!! Anyway, as I said
very impressed old boy, keep up the good work and who knows I may
even contribute some cartoons if I ever have any time. PS For all
those Madhatters that were involved in the filming of Green-Eyed
Monster the last two weekend, thankyou very much. Respect is due!
AIIIII!
dave 27/11/2000, 15:35
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Cor, it'll be Christmas soon.
My Nan 24/11/2000, 17:44
Email
Not Given
Hello everyone. Oooohhh I can see you kids are having fun with
this inthernit malarky. Cor blimey, in my day we just used to
shout at each other from opposite ends of the street - no fancy
computers. Mind you, back then, I think we appreciated things
more. Well we had to - we were so poor, what with the war on. I
was so poor, I couldn't even afford to have an arse. Still, never
mind. I count myself lucky. See you soon boys and girls - play
nicely with each other.
Mr Pedantic 24/11/2000, 17:39
Email
Not Given
Factual ain't funny. Unless someone else has a dose of the clap..
Simon H. 24/11/2000, 17:39
Email
Not Given
As funny as a dose of the clap
Mr Pedantic 24/11/2000, 17:29
Email
Not Given
By my calculations It is 26 years and 39 days out. Allowing for 6
leap years this gives a Premiere date of 6th March 2027. Good luck
Simon.
dave 24/11/2000, 14:20
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Who's broken my counter then? I only left it on the page alone for
a few days and its bleedin' broke. Pah. Apologies Simon for
putting your Premiere 25 years into the future. Maybe, its getting
confused with the amount of time I have left to pay my Mortgage.
To 'The Babe', sorry I don't think Ashley currently has an e-mail
address. If you really want to get in touch with him just leave
him a personal message here... if you like.
Chris 24/11/2000, 14:21
Email
Not Given
Superb website Mr. Wiggins. I am now a Dr of Looking Busy!
Nick W 24/11/2000, 13:40
Email
Not Given
Just discovered a most amusing website - http://www.cynicalbastards.com/ubs/.
Well worth a visit "The University of Bums on Seats".
Sounds remarkably like UofH to me. You can even print yourself out
a degree certificate. Made me chortle. But then I am easy.
The Babe 24/11/2000, 12:56
Email
Not Given
Anybody know Ashley's email address its not on the members page?
Philly 23/11/2000, 16:2
Email
Not Given
Now Bruce wearing a dress is one thing. Almost acceptabe. (almost)
However, as the piccy of Bruce shows, the presence of breasts is
surely much to worry about?
Nasty Nick 23/11/2000, 14:15
Email
Not Given
Bring back The Insulter...this website has become far too nice...
Counter Checker 23/11/2000, 11:20
Email
Not Given
Yes the countdown for UAC does say 9535 days
Scullion 23/11/2000, 11:5
Email
Not Given
On yet another jolly jaunt into the world of the strange, I bring
you another bit of wierd web: http://www.startsiden.no/tanken/int/
Same idea as big brother, but with fish in a tank and viewers vote
over the internet. Streaming video takes a few seconds, but looks
good. Oh, what will our friends in Euroland come up with next?
p.s. on the countdown for UAC does anyone else see 9535 days, or
is it just my PC is crap?
dave 21/11/2000, 23:23
Email
Not Given
To St.Jon - More 'mess' than messiah - anyway shut the f*ck up and
let's get on with some decent chat or I will have to ban you from
the site... and I don't know how to do that.
Mr Buy-rite 21/11/2000, 18:18
Email
Not Given
Sigh H - really me thinks your colluding with the Mighty P. Advice
on the gonk front rub linseed oil into the rubber for a longer
lasting finish.
Simon H. 21/11/2000, 16:51
Email
Not Given
And, just to make David Wild feel more at home, here's a bit of
meaness. I can't stand gonks. They look stupid, smell bad and the
rubber goes crusty after only two years.
Simon H. 21/11/2000, 16:49
Email
Not Given
I can confirm now that David Patrick is NOT the new Messiah. Okay,
yes there are some similarities between David and The Chosen One,
such as flat feet, terrible saliva smell and a need to shout
excessively at children, but that's just coincidence. I'm sorry to
disappoint. Please stop leaving floral tributes and gifts at his
front door in St Albans. The Council are complaining.
Too Daves 21/11/2000, 16:13
Email
Not Given
Whilst Dave Wid is wearing a skirt Dave Patrick is skirting the
issue. President maybe not but are you the new Messiah?
Dave Wid 21/11/2000, 15:49
Email
Not Given
Hey, now thats just not cricket, now is it Mr Anonymous. Now I've
got Go West rattling round my head........OK obviously not the
80's poptastic outfit but the Village People/ Petshop Boys (booof,
booof, booof) tune......Anyway whilst were talking about the
Petshop Boys (OK whilst I'M talking about the Pet Shop Boys) don't
forget The Stone Revellers Panto 29th Nov - 2 Dec. The connection?
Well its Cinderella & I'm one of the ugly sisters, so I'll be
wearing a dress. Everyone is welcome, though most will need
counselling after the event.
Unknown Person 21/11/2000, 15:25
Email
Not Given
Oi Wid... "Your fat and you know you are" (X 5)
Josie 21/11/2000, 14:26
josie.hughes@askeurope.com
General bit of useful information, coz I'm nice like that:- If
anyone is trying to book into the Metro Hotel for the night of the
UAC film premier - don't bother, because they're full. The Woking
Innlodge has rooms though.
Dave Wid 21/11/2000, 14:32
Email
Not Given
mmMMMmmm......thats better! Many thanks for the insult
Dave.........
To Ken 21/11/2000, 12:41
Not
Bloody Give
By the way Ken - if you included your e-mail address in the
'E-Mail Address' field when you posted your comments, people would
know if you had a new e-mail address. Oh its so easy to take
shortcuts isn't it, but sooner or later someone gets hurt.
dave 21/11/2000, 12:39
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Yeah, piss off Wid - is that OK? And another thing - I do not want
to be president of the feckin Blighted States of America, so
there. Ken's comment about 'bringing back memories of the Font on
a Friday' was interesting, especially seeing as Speakeasy are
playing in the Font this Friday evening (some things never
change)... come if you dare.
Ken 21/11/2000, 9:43
Email
Not Given
Harve, the new e-mail address is Kenneth_Rodrigues@yahoo.co.uk
Dave Wid 21/11/2000, 8:44
Email
Not Given
Look, I know the Insulter is dead and all that, but really. Does
everyone HAVE to be so bloody nice to each other. I fear that
Honey is influencing the group a little too much. Soon, we will be
congratulating Dave & Caroline on their successfull trip to
Sainsburys and thanking Psi for organising that wonderful lift
into town St Albans. Please, before we all turn into americans,
SORT IT OUT!
St Jon 20/11/2000, 18:2
The
milky white baptist@Hovis.com
With the Presidential elections being the biggest farce since PT
Barnum came to town Davey P sure is chalking up the people's vote.
Overseas results confirm the paper pressed by the thighs of a
milky white maid. Having adjusted his g-string Davey P carried out
last minute spooning with the said maiden. Is he the biggest thing
since sliced bread? Will he beat Big Mouth Billy the Bass to the
number Christmas slot? Why is there a 'Jesusify' section to
Madhatters? Will Davey P please reveal himself as the new Messiah.
Harve
Ken, what is your new e-mail address? I've deleted the e-mail you
sent from your last e-mail address which featured your new e-mail
address and now I don't know which e-mail address to contact you
at. Er...Help?
Ken 20/11/2000, 14:47
Email
Not Given
Can I just say how great Dave P and Nathan were on Friday
night....it was so good to see loads of Madhatters there. It
brought back heart tingling memories of being back in the Font on
those sweaty friday nights....
Simon H. 20/11/2000, 12:47
Email
Not Given
Not ankles.... but I appear to have picked up a terrible case of
pube monkeys.
John 18/11/2000, 20:16
jay_wyatt@hotmail.com
Has anyone else had unaccountably itchy ankles since the Cornwal
trip?
Kev T 18/11/2000, 19:51
kevin@taverner.co.uk
Cuming soon: The UHDS pantomime, PETER PAN will be performed in
the Prince Edward Hall, Hatfield on Thursday 7 and Friday 8
December, Doors 7.30pm. Tickets £3 (£2.50 with NUS card).
Unknown Person 19/11/2000, 2:23
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
Simon H. 17/11/2000, 17:11
Email
Not Given
But I did see David snogging Caroline and he used his tongue I
think which is gross out becos Caroline had all her tonsils out
and it went gangrenous. Eurgh.
Simon H. 17/11/2000, 17:10
Email
Not Given
And I will........... do some work
The Concealer 17/11/2000, 17:1
conceal@reaveal.com
And I, the Concealer will do my best to conceal the facts revealed
by the Revealer about Gary. Lest ye reveal, it is nobler to
conceal.
Son of the Revealer 17/11/2000, 16:50
Email
Not Given
Next week I shall reveal something very sinister about Gary
Stevenson, it will shock the country to it's core, nations will
collapse, man will fight man and cats will meiow...it is true it
is revealed..
Unknown Person 17/11/2000, 15:57
Email
Not Given
Does Mr. Hopes ever do any work?
Simon H 17/11/2000, 15:36
Email
Not Given
And.... guess what, my friend Ken said he saw David Patrick
touching Caroline Payne in a private place.
Simon H. 17/11/2000, 15:17
Email
Not Given
And..... guess what. My friend said he saw David Patrick kissing
Caroline Payne. I reckon he fancies her.
simon H. 17/11/2000, 14:48
Email
Not Given
Poo
Simon H. 17/11/2000, 14:47
Email
Not Given
La la la la
Simon H. 17/11/2000, 14:44
Email
Not Given
He does - I saw them
Simon H. 17/11/2000, 14:44
Email
Not Given
JJJJJooooolllllyyyyyyoooooonnnn Looovvvveeeeesssssss
TTTTTTooooonnnnniiiiiiiiii
Simon H. 17/11/2000, 14:22
Email
Not Given
Eurghhhh. Jolyon and Toni are in love. And I saw them kissing by
the fourth form noticeboards. And he was holding her hand in the
gym. Jolyon loves Toni... Jolyon loves Toni !
Dave Wid 17/11/2000, 12:29
Email
Not Given
It is a great shame that The Insulter had that nasty fatal
accident with a trivet, as I am sure he would have plenty to say
to young Tremayne.
tremayne brookfield. 17/11/2000, 10:32
www.riverside.co.uk
hi,how do you get in to being popstar.
tremayne brookfield. 17/11/2000, 10:28
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
Dave Wid 17/11/2000, 9:46
Email
Not Given
How about a 'Was it a dress?' Poll
Unknown Person 16/11/2000, 18:54
Email
Not Given
Dancing or voting?
dave 16/11/2000, 13:29
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I say wos'ale to the noble Jol and Toni. It is splendid news all
round. By the way, some other news I have just heard from Julian
Wathen (Our Country's Good, 32hr Challenge) - he is getting
married in St.Albans this Saturday. Finally, watch out for a Spoon
based poll any day now.
Honey 15/11/2000, 11:5
Email
Not Given
Oh dear....my spelling!!!!!
Honey 15/11/2000, 10:56
Honeyinhull@ic24.net
Davey P....I had a fantastic weekened....but it had nothing to do
with you....I thought this site needed a bit of variety.
Still....I just have to thank you for well...just being you!!!! Oh
what a cracker you are! It looks like you all had a fabulous
weekened which is great....so sorry to have missed it! What's all
this about Mrs Heath and Spoons.....quick write an article about
it someone so that all us who couldn't attend don't feel like
we're no longer part of the in-crowd. Actually, I'm not sure that
I ever was anyway :-) Congratulations....neh...CONGRATULATIONS to
Jolyon and Toni....that's fantastic news....I guess it's too late
to preach about waiting for your wedding night so I won't bother!
Good Luck to The Love Junkies with your forthcoming gig on
Friday....Again I shall sadly have to miss the experience but I
will be thinking of you none-the-less! What about a Christmas
party or night out somewhere that we might actually be able to
make??? Take Care all....and rest up after your hectic
weekend...then getting typing on a good review of the trip for us!
Love Honey
Jolyon & Toni 14/11/2000, 21:12
hennings.j@pg.com
OK OK OK..so you now all know our little secret..we thought that
the Telegraph would never get passed you but we were wrong oh how
we have all grown up! Before I go any further may I join with you
all in thanking..neh congratulating Mr D Patrick for his wonderful
organisational skills, and power of leaking.! So when?..Sept ish
2002 well you don't want to rush into these things now do you..
Where?...lord knows it's bloody 2 years away!!!! Sorry for not
saying anything at the weekend but I did not want to tell everyone
with out Toni being there, (yes against popular gossip she is
still alive and I have not replaced her with a small yellow dog).
Any how enough of this wibble..i say drink deep..and play hard..or
somthing like that..PS anyone requiring accupuncture (to remove
hangovers, spoon fetishes ect..) the service will be available at
a MAD hatters discount from Mid 2001. PPS were does this now put
us on maturity stakes?
Bruce 14/11/2000, 13:47
Email
Not Given
Dave a great weekend, Jane and I thought the whole event was a
huge success. By the way everyone else was obviously drinking
heavily as It clearly wasn't a dress, but I agree about banning
spoons. PS: Hope to see some of you on Friday
Ken 14/11/2000, 10:16
Email
Not Given
Well done Jolyon & Toni..have you set a date yet?
mike 13/11/2000, 17:57
mike@bfcc.org
...although I have hardly been able to speak today, convincing Sue
that I had had a quiet weekend, and not shouted lots and drunk to
much didn't happen, but I would like to join the now chorus of
exultation and genuine pride in the weekend. My thanks to you all,
and I look forward with excitement to the next gathering.... With
much love and affection....!!!
mike 13/11/2000, 17:50
mike@bfcc.org
Nothing said.
Philly 13/11/2000, 16:58
Email
Not Given
Excellent! Well done, blah blah blah etc. etc. Right, enough of
that... Down with spoon! Stand up people and throw your spoons
aside! Mrs Heath, you can keep your damn silver plated teaspoon
set specially made for Lord Drag! Yes a poll please Dave, vote for
banning the spoon! PS: Nice dress Brucey.
Melissa Nash 13/11/2000, 16:48
melissa.nash@hampshire.businesslink.co.uk
Many thanks dave for an excellent weekend - it was great to see
everyone again and Pam, Mark and I really enjoyed it. See you
hoepfully at the Premier!
Mrs Heath 13/11/2000, 15:45
Email
Not Given
Please take notice that I can now be found in The Gunroom.
Ken 13/11/2000, 15:30
Email
Not Given
I vote Davey Pee for President of the USA! Thanks for organising a
great weekend mate...lets have another Banquet sooner rather than
later.....let me know if i can help in any way.. It was so good to
see so many fantastic people..
Josie 13/11/2000, 14:22
Email
Not Given
We've not really grown up Sarah - we've just got older - I think
seeing Sam & Andy charging round Tintagel with swords proved
that! Here's to never growing up!!
Sarah W 13/11/2000, 13:46
Email
Not Given
I'd just like to reiterate my husbands message. It was a fantastic
weekend. I really enjoyed it, and it was great to meet all these
people that Ken raves about !! I have only just started checking
this website, and it is certainly a real eye opener. Nick comes
home and tells me what a hard day at work, and I now find that he
has been lying to me all this time !!!! I find on viewing this
site that he's spending all this time on the Madhatter's website,
pretending he' still a boy. I hate to be the one to break it to
you, we have actually GROWN UP ! Thanks again for a fabby weekend.
Simon H. 13/11/2000, 12:44
Email
Not Given
And so, all together now ...... He's got no decorum fididle di
dorum. He's got not decorum fididle di day
..........................
Simon H. 13/11/2000, 11:45
Email
Not Given
After being thanked nearly to death, David Patrick is now
recovering in the local St Albans Home for the partially tired.
Oh... by the way David.... THANK YOU !!!!!
Adrian 13/11/2000, 11:27
Email
Not Given
Davey P, Davey P, Davey P, Davey P, Davey P, Well done that man.
Having fallen asleep on the M5 'tiredness kills' it sure does I'm
knackered and I hate it. Thanks to Chris, Si Bennett and Gary for
selling the Eden Project to me - a cool £79 million. Si Hopes for
allowing me to sleep with his brother and Bruce and Phil for
stealing my voice.
Paul Scullion 13/11/2000, 9:54
Email
Not Given
After such a weekend as you all appeared to have, try this site
for a relaxing post experience fag: http://www.mellowjack.de/index_flash.html
Only wish we could have been there, but this teachers not having
school days off is a real bummer.
Josie 13/11/2000, 9:47
josie.hughes@askeurope.com
Fab weekend Dave - thanks for organising it. How are your spoons
this morning?
Dave Wid 13/11/2000, 8:56
Email
Not Given
Well what can anyone say - a fabulous weekend with some of my
favourite people in the world. Its always great to see everybody
and now I am already looking forward to the next time. Thanks
again Dave, hoover maintenance may not be your bag but thats not
important. Just stick to keeping this ragtag bunch together. I
don't think I could tell you how much its appreciated. I love you,
man.
Mike & Meg 12/11/2000, 22:51
mhaver@supanet.com
What an excellant weekend - well done to Mr P for organising it.
The only disappointment was that the ranter and the insulter were
not revealed to an anxious audience. Can't wait for the next one.
By the way - nice dress Bruce !
sion 12/11/2000, 20:24
sion.josie@virginnet.co.uk
I am absolutely knackered but thanks Mr P for the best weekend
I've had since I got hitched. The highlight for me, and I dare say
many others was the opportunity to see Mrs Heath on the main
staircase.
Nick W 12/11/2000, 13:45
Email
Not Given
Fantastic weekend - well done Dave. Good food, drink and company.
I hear they are planning to do St Trinians feasts in the future -
I think we could cope with that. Congrats on all the hard work,
much appreciated by all present. The " - 1" days before
the banquet is a bit depressing though!
ff 12/11/100, 3:26
afdsf
af
Honey 10/11/2000, 16:53
honeyinhull@ic24.net
Ashley and I are gutted to be unable to join all you guys in
Cornwall.....Hope you all have a cracking good time of it and come
back and write loads of interesting articles for us to read and
feel like part of it all! You've probably all already gone by now
anyway I guess.....we'll be thinking of you and feeling envious!!!
Love Honey
Unknown Person 9/11/2000, 17:37
Email
Not Given
You up for it or what. Oh please let it be Friday or is it. A
distinct lack of chat or *hat.
dave 8/11/2000, 16:37
Email
Not Given
Woo hoo - Hi Harve. Whoops, better get on with my new job.
Harve 9/11/100, 4:26
Email
Not Given
So sad am I to be missing out on this weekend's activities that I
have been keeping an eye on the "Only X days before the
Banquet" hoping that Dave will forget to update it and you'll
all get terribly confused ang go on the wrong day. Oh well, plan
scuppered. Hope you all have a great time and someone remembers to
have a beer (preferably mixed with some cider and blackcurrant)
for me. (There you go Dave, timid as I am I gave it a go!)
Honey 8/11/2000, 15:39
can't
be bothered.
Dave...I think it's no wonder that the 'timid types' are not
posting anything.....You Guys!!! Honestly! Anyway, Hope you like
your new job...Are you able to get there alright what with all the
flooding etc.... We are under flood warning at the moment....Jolly
Dee! I'm off to my first Parents' Evening tonight....Do I score
any more points on the maturity scale...I do own two trivets and a
trivet/candle hot plate!!!
7/11/2000, 22:11
Email
Not Given
help help I am Dave Patricks love child who ha has been keeping
locked in a cupboard for ten years - but today he forgot to lock
it. I am sure this machine can be used to contact people. There
are other people, aren't there? There must be other people.
Please, please come and rescue me. I am kept in the cupboard under
the stairs with Dave's back copies of What Trivet magazine. Please
hurry, I've read all but ten of them.
L'autre Burge 7/11/2000, 11:15
Email
Not Given
Dave, you realise you're just 2 stops up the Northern linde from
me here in the Ol' Smoke. What fun...
mc 7/11/100, 9:18
mitulladwa@hotmail.com
hello
Le Burge 7/11/100, 0:0
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
So, Dave. How was your first day in your new job in the big smoke?
Notice that your only post today was in the evening, presumably
from home? Very concienscious. EXcellent -keep it up!
Mr Bold 6/11/100, 23:58
bold@3.com
Yes, I quite agree. Don't be timid -be bold, like me -Mr Bold.
Hmm. Um. Oh
dave 6/11/2000, 22:25
dave
Yes I agree with you Honey, but people are their own worst
enemies. If only these 'timid' types would post something. Ho,
hum.
L'autre Burge 6/11/2000, 14:41
Email
Not Given
Remember, a fart in a wetsuit is worth 2 in the duvet, or
something
Honey 6/11/2000, 11:4
honeyinhull@ic24.net
Oh My! This site has gone fairly strange....All the insulting and
expleting certainly doesn't make for a very happy chat site now
does it chaps! Why can't we all be nice and friendly and
funny...do we not posess the wit to make merriment without foul
language and nastiness these days??? It would be such a shame if
this great site that Dave works so hard on were to become the
playground for a few foul-mouthed old school boys and lost its
purpose as an arena for all old Drama Soc members. I wonder if
there are Madhatters who are put off using the site or getting
involved by the attitude of the few main contributers...Anyway...enough
moaning...just try and Keep it clean guys!!! By the way, to the
person who felt that it was "probably best staying
anon"...two things....don't be ashamed to put your name to
your comments...it is cowardly and not necessary as no offence is
taken....furthermore I'm afraid your idea of "The great
twinkle in Honey's eye name game" whilst being amusing may be
a bit pointless now that I have embraced Christianity and made a
committment of chastity until marriage (if ever!)...I'm afraid
there will be no more twinkling in my eye for a very long time!
Take Care everyone and try to remember that you don't have to be
abusive to be funny!!! Love to all...Honey xxx
Toxteth O'Grady 6/11/2000, 2:37
Email
Not Given
Feeling girls makes me happy.
Unknown Person 5/11/2000, 23:26
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 5/11/2000, 23:26
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
water_babe 5/11/2000, 23:25
water_babe89@hotmail.com
Nothing said.
Don Giovanni 3/11/2000, 17:49
@The
Royal Opera House
Gigolo - Italian for please, Bare whipping grrreat
L'autre Burge 3/11/2000, 17:22
Email
Not Given
Giganti - Italian for "whopping great beer please"!
Unknown Person 3/11/2000, 17:9
Email
Not Given
Vive la difference - down with nanism up with gigantism.
Size Matters ye Hatters 3/11/2000, 14:19
Email
Not Given
In a recent scientific study, males with small penises were found
to be the most vociferous users of expletives when compared with
those of average or larger than average members. The Western
Journal of Psychology, 2000, Study by Van Froebel, Gribben et al.
"A comparision of social behaviour, phallus size and personal
centrism"
Zephyrus 3/11/2000, 13:42
Thor
And Old Norse for Kestrel is dare I say it Windf*cker. And I
believe the true identity of the Insulter can be revealed in the
Three Graces.
The Insulter 3/11/2000, 12:48
Email
Not Given
Like I give a shit.
Le Burge 3/11/2000, 12:51
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Well, Insulter, despite you best efforts the best insult you've
managed is spelling my family name incorrectly. Bye.
Dave Wid 3/11/2000, 12:38
thekungfudetective@hotmail.com
Oooops, that last one was me.
Unknown Person 3/11/2000, 12:37
Email
Not Given
Bloody hell, I thought Honey had gone strange. What is wrong with
everybody. N E wayz, if you fancy seeing me wearing a dress, come
and see Cinderella, presented by Stone Revellers at the end of
Nov. It'll be...........fun...?
The Insulter 3/11/2000, 12:26
Email
Not Given
Oh please spare me. Firstly, I am not stupid as I am not either
you Mr Ranter, nor am I you Mr Burgess. Secondly, when I used the
'twat', I was not using it in its definition as refering to a
'vagina' or may I venture, 'front bottom'. That much, I thought
was obvious. From memory, one of the dictionary definitions of
'twat', is 'a disreputable person'. I realise that this definition
lacks gender and that a twat may well be dickless, as that twat
may be a woman. But that is by the by, as I know this is not the
case. Thus, I was refering to you as a 'dickless, disreputable
person'. Not much of an insult you may say and in essence, you're
right. But anyway, hey-ho, to cut a long story short, you are a
twat. And a dickless one at that.
BE AWARE 3/11/2000, 12:30
Email
Not Given
I know the identity of THE INSULTER and he shall be exposed at the
Madhatters Reunion for all to see, mock and throw pieces of meat
at.
The Ranter 3/11/2000, 11:23
ack'ack.com
Well, Mr Insulter, consult a dictonary. A "Twat" is
female genitalia, so therefore by definintion a "twat"
is "dickless". You are stupid.
The Insulter 3/11/2000, 11:11
Email
Not Given
......and you're a dickless twat.
L'autre Burge 3/11/2000, 10:40
sddfd
Well thank you Mr Insulter, your cutting wit and your deep insight
really do show just how fantastically clever you must be. Now go
away you son of a silly person, I blow my nose at you. Your mother
was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Zephyrus 3/11/2000, 10:39
Email
Not Given
Piers Corbyn has carried out extensive research on the effects of
solar sunspots. The 1987 storm was on a Friday and preceded Black
Monday. In fact Chaos theorists would say instrumental in the
crash. The Prime Minister was Margaret Thatcher whose birthday is
the 13th October, which this year fell (you guessed it), on a
Friday.
The Insulter 3/11/2000, 10:38
Email
Not Given
Who gives a flying wank mat, nerdy.
Le Burge 3/11/2000, 9:54
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
It is also interesting to note that Monday's storm came 13 years
and 13 days after the 1997 hurricane. Spooky (cue Simpsons
Haloween music...).
L'autre Burge 3/11/2000, 9:24
anyway
it's as much to do with the 11 1/2 year sunspot cycle of the sun
as it is to do with the "theory" of global warming
caused by human intervention. The last hurricane in the UK was
1989, 11 years ago when the last solar sunspot cycle was at a
maximum...
Unknown Person 2/11/2000, 20:58
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
michelle 2/11/2000, 19:30
michellebruk@yahoo.co.uk
hello
Unknown Person 2/11/2000, 19:29
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
michelle 2/11/2000, 19:29
michellebruk@yahoo.co.uk
Nothing said.
michelle 2/11/2000, 19:27
michellebruk@yahoo.co.uk
Nothing said.
Zephyrus 2/11/2000, 17:25
@westwind
wet@cold.uk
These freak weather patterns we’ve been having are nothing new.
During my deity similar events occurred at this time of year. The
Romans, a great seafaring nation, chose to call this event by a
suitable name - autumnus. I'm sure given time we will see the
return of this noble act as Gaia intended all those aeons ago.
L'autre Burge 2/11/2000, 16:32
adrhrr
I was still trying to work out what on Gaia that Satres cook book
was all about to tell you the truth. I think Lant is a masculine
word rather than feminine - that would be Lante?
dave 2/11/2000, 16:26
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
By the way, I'm impressed by the fact that the mammoth posting on
Satre's Cookbook has gone unnoticed, or rather uncommented on. Is
it merely beyond comprehension or is the reassuring 'silence of
bilge' that greets other postings of a similar nature to blame?
Should we be talking existentialism here, or shall we continue
with trivialising moral issues, and er, talking about Trago Mills?
dave 2/11/2000, 16:22
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
You guys are strange.
Goldfinch 2/11/2000, 16:6
@beagle.co.uk
....and Guano is fertiliser made from bird excrement. First
discovered by Charles Darwin on the Galapogos islands.
Probably best staying anon... 2/11/2000, 15:6
Email
Not Given
I think 'Lant' would make a great name. Perhaps an ideal name for
I think 'Lant' would make a great name. Perhaps an ideal name for
Honeys next child. But is it a boys' or girls' name? I just don't
know. Do you know? Have you got any ideas for ideal names for the
next ex-resident of Honey's front bottom? If you have, post them
here and join The Great Twinkle in Honey's Eye Baby Name Game.
L'autre Burge 2/11/2000, 14:21
Email
Not Given
Oh, and did you know, the word "Lant" means "Stale
urine, used in the manufacturing process of fertilizer"
Enjoy!
l'autre Burge 2/11/2000, 14:20
ahha@.com
And so I rise from the shadows of my elder brother to claim my
place in the hallowed corridors of Madhatters... Only 'cause I
played bass once at the drama society review night one foggy night
back in god knows when (1992 I think!), plus the occasional missed
football match :-)
C.S Lewis 2/11/2000, 13:58
beyondthegrave@GOD.com
Is this Si Hopes coming out or is he so far back in the closet
he's in f****** Narnia
Simon H. 2/11/2000, 12:17
Email
Not Given
I love him. I can't help it. But he's so tall and good looking - a
girl like me would never have a chance.
davidoff 1/11/2000, 23:2
Email
Not Given
Many of you may have suspected for a while but here now is visual
proof of one of the most steamy affairs in the Madhatters
fraternity.
Real love or a trick of the camera - you decide.
Le Burge 1/11/2000, 16:46
Email
Not Given
Oops - read TWO extra players, not "to"
Le Burge 1/11/2000, 16:44
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
RE the footy picture: Andy also seems to have something odd
dangling out of his shorts. Also, Ken's team has to extra players
while Andy seems to be playing on his own. No wonder Herts lost.
Le Burge 1/11/2000, 16:42
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Indeed - I've got home after a trip to Ikea and found I have stuff
like Pot, poo and tit. Not to mention Smorkksbenderarse
simon H 1/11/2000, 16:24
Email
Not Given
......and the last time I went to Ikea, I ended up with pube
monkeys. I believe other madhatters have also come away with
genital infestations.
Dave Wid 1/11/2000, 13:51
seeingthelight@IKEA
I have actually considered turning to God in IKEA. But I bought a
lampshade called 'Ekisfoomdlar' instead.
Ken 1/11/2000, 13:31
Email
Not Given
Roughty, we don't appear to have any left arms?!
The Ginger Bread Man 1/11/2000, 12:42
Email
Not Given
On the subject of gingers, there is a study going on at the moment
as to why ginger people are so much more fucking unique than
anyone else. Actually - that's true - particularly why red-head
females are deemed to be so attractive by men.
dave 1/11/2000, 10:34
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I have some photos of the football finally - this is just one. I
will reveal them teasingly over the next few days.
dave 1/11/2000, 10:33
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I knew there was something funny about that shop.
Honey 31/10/2000, 23:17
honeyinhull@ic24.net
Well...well....well....who'd have thought that I would become the
subject of so many little bracketed side notes and apologies! (and
so you should...your language is disgraceful lads!) Having cast a
glance over the previous few days chat...I note that I have become
once again a frequently mentioned name in times of gossip, jest
and urine extraction (not allowed to swear anymore!). Aaah....it's
where I feel most at home.... and how kind of you guys to bring to
my attention my unworthiness before God due to my unfortunate
birth defect of being a Ginger! I had thought that God would
overlook the fact that I had probably broken most of the ten
commandments by the age of fifteen and let me into his club
anyway....but alas....I had forgotton about the fact that I am a
Ging-er! He will surely never forgive me....I must repent
immediately. While we're on the subject....maybe I should compete
with The Revealer, The Concealer, The Ranter etc....and become The
Preacher...or The Happy-Clappy or something. You guys could
certainly do with some moral guidance....I'm just not sure that I
am the person to provide it....afterall...it will take more than a
few Sundays to get through repenting for all my sins. Anyway, have
had a good giggle so keep the little comments coming...Afterall...it
spreads the good news in a way and God works in extremely
mysterious ways. Maybe I'll be divinely inspired to write an
article on my dramatic conversion from complete aetheism to
Christianity during a trip to IKEA! Love to all....be
happy...Honey xxx
Unknown Person 31/10/2000, 18:55
Email
Not Given
The Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook (Origin unknown...) We were lucky
enough to discover several previously lost diaries of French
philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre for sale at the Farmers' Market.
These diaries reveal a young Sartre obsessed not with the void,
but with food. Apparently Sartre, before discovering philosophy,
had hoped to write "a cookbook that will put to rest all
notions of flavor forever." The diaries are excerpted here.
Do not try this at home. October 3 Spoke with Camus today about my
cookbook. Though he has never actually eaten, he gave me much
encouragement. I rushed home immediately to begin work. How
excited I am! I have begun my formula for a Denver omelet. October
4 Still working on the omelet. There have been stumbling blocks. I
keep creating omelets one after another, like soldiers marching
into the sea, but each one seems empty, hollow, like stone. I want
to create an omelet that expresses the meaninglessness of
existence, and instead they taste like cheese. I look at them on
the plate, but they do not look back. Tried eating them with the
lights off. It did not help. Malraux suggested paprika. October 6
I have realized that the traditional omelet form (eggs and cheese)
is bourgeois. Today I tried making one out of cigarettes, some
coffee, and four tiny stones. I fed it to Malraux, who puked. I am
encouraged, but my journey is still very long. October 10 I find
myself trying ever more radical interpretations of traditional
dishes, in an effort to somehow express the void I feel so
acutely. Today I tried this recipe: Tuna Casserole Ingredients: 1
large casserole dish Place the casserole dish in a cold oven.
Place a chair facing the oven and sit in it forever. Think about
how hungry you are. When night falls, do not turn on the light.
While a void is expressed in this recipe, I am struck by its
inapplicability to the bourgeois lifestyle. How can the eater
recognize that the food denied him is a tuna casserole and not
some other dish? I am becoming ever more frustated. October 25 I
have been forced to abandon the project of producing an entire
cookbook. Rather, I now seek a single recipe which will, by
itself, embody the plight of man in a world ruled by an unfeeling
God, as well as providing the eater with at least one ingredient
from each of the four basic food groups. To this end, I purchased
six hundred pounds of foodstuffs from the corner grocery and
locked myself in the kitchen, refusing to admit anyone. After
several weeks of work, I produced a recipe calling for two eggs,
half a cup of flour, four tons of beef, and a leek. While this is
a start, I am afraid I still have much work ahead. November 15
Today I made a Black Forest cake out of five pounds of cherries
and a live beaver, challenging the very definition of the word
cake. I was very pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly, but
could not stay for dessert. Still, I feel that this may be my most
profound achievement yet, and have resolved to enter it in the
Betty Crocker Bake-Off. November 30 Today was the day of the
Bake-Off. Alas, things did not go as I had hoped. During the
judging, the beaver became agitated and bit Betty Crocker on the
wrist. The beaver's powerful jaws are capable of felling blue
spruce in less than ten minutes and proved, needless to say, more
than a match for the tender limbs of America's favorite homemaker.
I only got third place. Moreover, I am now the subject of a rather
nasty lawsuit. December 1 I have been gaining twenty-five pounds a
week for two months, and I am now experiencing light tides. It is
stupid to be so fat. My pain and ultimate solitude are still as
authentic as they were when I was thin, but seem to impress girls
far less. From now on, I will live on cigarettes and black coffee.
John 31/10/2000, 18:42
jay_wyatt@fuckedoffcentral.com
Obviously there is more to it.
John 31/10/2000, 18:40
jay_wyatt@hotmail.com
So, about this HTNL thing - is it just a matter of using those
little tag things to make stuff bold and that, or is there
more to it? We shall soon see when I post this, won't we?
shmokeypipe 31/10/2000, 17:39
kagel@net.com
hi anybody want to talk
Unknown Person 31/10/2000, 17:38
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 31/10/2000, 17:38
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
dave 31/10/2000, 17:20
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Have no fear Si. All that has happened is that the chat has been
archived - if you click in the Mar-Oct 2000 section you will see
it there. Sorry about my bad language earlier but that Insulter, I
mean really
Le Burge 31/10/2000, 17:9
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Dave - where have the messages gone from a few days ago, including
the one where Honey reveals her new directions plus the picture of
Colonel Deering? Has the Concealer struck and concealed everything
bar the last few days from history?
Le 31/10/2000, 17:7
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
dave 31/10/2000, 16:25
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Oi Insulter, Fuck off.
The Ranter 31/10/2000, 16:16
ack@ack.com
Once again The
Insulter blunders in, slags
off people left right and centre
without any inkling of what the truth
really is. You're way way off the mark boyo,
and insulting the fine Mr Patrick in
such a way won't get you anywhere.
Besides, you're just jealous of your inability
to do html.
Try again...
The Insulter 31/10/2000, 15:23
Email
Not Given
How do I know you're not the very same cum-string?
The Truth-sayer 31/10/2000, 15:20
truthis@whereyoufindit
Behold, I speak the truth and today and can proclaim that the
Insulter is very wrong as Master Patrick is not the only one
capable of embedding html tags within
a posting. See?
The Pacifier 31/10/2000, 15:11
peace@longlast.com
Now I'd like the Insulter to just relax for a second, close your
eyes, feel the spirit of free love wash over you (ahem) and count
to ten. Remember to Love thy Neighbour and not to covet his ox, or
was it his wife. Hmm. Honey, what are those ten commandments
again?
Bertie 31/10/2000, 14:57
Email
Not Given
I say old chap steady on......
The Insulter 31/10/2000, 14:49
Email
Not Given
You asked for it Patrick, just who the feck do you think you are,
you senile old leaking minge. I've had just about enough of you
and your crappy ranting alter-ego. For Christs sake (sorry ginger
biffa) just how stupid do you think we are? You're obviously The
Ranter. Only you could share such purile and maligned views and
bullshit opinions. You sound like a Daily Express reader, Tory
Boy. And that last pathetic HTML shenanigans proves me just about
right. The choice of font? Dave 'wheres my feckin life gone'
Patrick, and no mistake. So, stitch that you feckin idiot
Revealer, you couldn't even reveal yourself to nursery full of
screaming kids, you piece of sh*t. Try revealing something useful
for a change, scrotum. Patrick=Ranter=Twat.
Philly 31/10/2000, 13:31
30
miles due East of Trago
string words sentance to together a in try.... try...... nope...
no can do, just lived too long and too close to tat land.
The Ranter 31/10/2000, 13:0
Ack@ack.com
Arnie
For US President!
Arnie has recently spoken out against "movie violence",
despite featuring in some of the most action heavy films ever to
splat out of Jollywood. He claims that his change of heart is to
do with maturing as he's got older and having kids. Cynics among
us though might think that it's more to do with the fact that he's
planning on running for State Govenor of California in 2002...
Well, what next? Arnie for President? If I were American (and
perhaps I am, who can say I'm not) I'd vote for him for president.
After all, we've had Reagan, George "I'm thick and I don't
know it" Bush Jnr looks like he's gonna get this one so Arnie,
come on, run for President. After all, who'd argue with President
Terminator!
The Ranter - trying to make his rants more user friendly after
recent criticism
Unknown Person 30/10/2000, 18:35
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
The Concealer 30/10/2000, 18:3
concealer@revealer.com
Today, I can tell you that I have acquired some interesting
information about Tom PItt-Chambers, three small mammals and a
bottle of Gloy. Can't tell you anymore, it is concealed, see.
dave 30/10/2000, 17:18
dave
Yes.
Ann Dee 30/10/100, 15:8
Email
Not Given
I'm back, but only to ask where you got the idea of an online poll
Mr Patrick. Been to any Sunday Morning (no offence Honey but some
of us have lives to lead on Sunday mornings) Pub football team
websites recently. If you'd like to know about the administration
system and how to put new polls up yourself just let me know. Also
they also have the facility for those with email but no internet
access at work to receive emails of the latest contributions,
another added value product for the Madhatters sitre perchance?
Ever get the feelig that a mouthy midfielder might know more than
you about this website stuff?
dave 30/10/2000, 14:21
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I must say, I did have my suspicions about you Nick. Torquay, pah!
You've moved to bloody Lapland haven't you... and I bet Bill
Croome and Chris Evans are working for you as Elves. Although
you'd probably have sacked Chris by now. Anyway, I have another
point. I feel that the chat participance on this site has been a
little lacklustre of late. Obviously the banter is still flowing
but not as fluidliy as it should be. What has happened to 'Ann
Dee'? Where is 'The Ranter', why has he not been insulted by 'The
Insulter' and why is Chris Hanham too scared to post anything up
on this site. For a man who generally has a lot too say, it's
quite frankly not good enough. I don't care it you can't even
string two words together do not listen in, in silence. I mean
christ (sorry Honey), even 'jason' - see 25/10 had the decency to
at least explain that he was looking for Sexy Women on the site.
Come on - let's prove once and for all that this site isn't just
frequented by 4 or 5 people. Let's hit the dizzy heights of 6 or
more...
St. Nick 30/10/2000, 12:3
north.pole.lap
I've got a busy night planned for the 24th. Despite my plans,
there still seem to be an awful lot of children who won't stop
being nice.
dave 30/10/2000, 11:57
Email
Not Given
Sorry Nick, I'll get around to it one of these moments... at this
point I'm reminded that a web site is for life not just for
Christmas. Speaking of Christmas - is anyone doing anything?
Granted the question is a bit vague but I'd be interested to hear
everyone's plans.
Nick 30/10/2000, 11:39
Email
Not Given
Dave - Where's the Polling Station? I've been campaining all
weekend and am ready to cast my vote on the referendum of the
decade, as promised last week. But where do I vote?
dave 30/10/2000, 11:9
dave
How does this work? Hmmm, where to begin. Er, you type something
and then you are ignored unless it is worthy of comment, so in
actual fact your comment of 'How does this work???' seems to be
spot-on in this respect. OK, I will now post this message as a
reply and will fire back the following as a repost, 'How do you
want it to work???' You can now either reply or scuttle off with
your tail between your legs. These interactions between two people
are known as 'conversations' and are the bedrock of any chat site.
Unknown Person 30/10/2000, 10:42
Email
Not Given
how does this work???
caz 30/10/2000, 10:41
boy_crazy_4eva@hotmail.com
hello everyone. im female, 16 from uk. im intrested in older men,
but not that old, no older than 30. i have other intrests 2 but u
will have 2 wait 2 no about them!!!
GOD 28/10/2000, 13:15
bigboss@heaven.com
I AM THE LORD. THE CREATOR. HONEST. YOU CAN TELL THAT I REALLY AM
GOD AS I SPEAK IN CAPITAL LETTERS. SO LISTEN. ALRIGHT? OK. HONEY,
I SPEAKETH TO YOU. i HAVE JUST ONE THING TO SAY, IN THE KINGDOM OF
HEAVEN, NO GINGERS ALLOWED.
Psi 28/10/2000, 0:15
Email
Not Given
Dave, why does the breaking news section use Yank dates? Get it
sorted.
dave 27/10/100, 20:29
dave.patrick,
etc...
So, this fascination with Devon and Trago Mills - has it gone to
far? YOU decide when I introduce a poll on this site next week.
Thank you Simon for your kind article - it really was only a
matter of time before my past came back to haunt me. Have a great
weekend everyone. Oh and Honey, try to stay out of church.
simon H 27/10/2000, 12:57
Email
Not Given
Oh, and check out www.amihotornot.com for a real laugh. You have
to rank each person in order to move on. Minutes of fun here.
Simon H. 27/10/2000, 12:48
Email
Not Given
I am currently suffering from a hangover spawned from Satan's
backside after I attended 'The Donkey Show' last night at the
Hanover Grand club off Regent Street in London, England. For those
who haven't heard of this latest offspin of the Car Wash/Starsky
& Hutch 70's revival, there is a small cast of scantily clad
men and women who perform 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' but replace
all Shakespearean dialogue with 70's disco records. They perform
on movable stages, platforms, and in the middle of the audience.
Absolutely stunning with a huge twist at the end which I won't
tell you about. I am ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY going again as it is a
truly fantastic thing to watch. Let me know if you want to come
along.
Oh, and all this talk of Trago Mills has caused me to write an
article for the Breaking News Section. Have a look if you want to
learn more about a major Devonshire attraction.
Chris Evans 27/10/2000, 11:31
Email
Not Given
Ken, I will indeed be at Vicarage Road on Tuesday night. Mobile's
working again now. Slight problem with leaving it in All Bar One
for several hours.
The Ranter 27/10/2000, 11:11
ack@ack.com
I can do this wierd
plasma thingie:
Ken 26/10/2000, 17:55
Email
Not Given
Guilty as charged my Mayor Wiggins of Torquay....no I do not have
a photo of Trago Mills, but I am intending to make a pilgrimage
for Friday 10th Nov in the afternoon, so anyone interested in
coming to visit the hallowed ground see you there for about 2pm.
Chris your mobile is not working....but I am up for seeing Watford
Vs Man United on Tuesday.... what about you Roughty?
Chris Evans 26/10/2000, 16:21
Email
Not Given
Talking about new jobs...yep, I've done it again. Lasted 3 1/2
months this time. Think that's a record even for me. Ken don't you
have a photo of Trago Mills to go with the rest of the ones you've
put up?
