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Chat Archives
September 2002 - February 2003
dave 30/10/2000, 17:18
dave
Yes.
Ann Dee 30/10/100, 15:8
Email
Not Given
I'm back, but only to ask where you got the idea of an online poll
Mr Patrick. Been to any Sunday Morning (no offence Honey but some
of us have lives to lead on Sunday mornings) Pub football team
websites recently. If you'd like to know about the administration
system and how to put new polls up yourself just let me know. Also
they also have the facility for those with email but no internet
access at work to receive emails of the latest contributions,
another added value product for the Madhatters sitre perchance?
Ever get the feelig that a mouthy midfielder might know more than
you about this website stuff?
dave 30/10/2000, 14:21
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I must say, I did have my suspicions about you Nick. Torquay, pah!
You've moved to bloody Lapland haven't you... and I bet Bill
Croome and Chris Evans are working for you as Elves. Although
you'd probably have sacked Chris by now. Anyway, I have another
point. I feel that the chat participance on this site has been a
little lacklustre of late. Obviously the banter is still flowing
but not as fluidliy as it should be. What has happened to 'Ann
Dee'? Where is 'The Ranter', why has he not been insulted by 'The
Insulter' and why is Chris Hanham too scared to post anything up
on this site. For a man who generally has a lot too say, it's
quite frankly not good enough. I don't care it you can't even
string two words together do not listen in, in silence. I mean
christ (sorry Honey), even 'jason' - see 25/10 had the decency to
at least explain that he was looking for Sexy Women on the site.
Come on - let's prove once and for all that this site isn't just
frequented by 4 or 5 people. Let's hit the dizzy heights of 6 or
more...
St. Nick 30/10/2000, 12:3
north.pole.lap
I've got a busy night planned for the 24th. Despite my plans,
there still seem to be an awful lot of children who won't stop
being nice.
dave 30/10/2000, 11:57
Email
Not Given
Sorry Nick, I'll get around to it one of these moments... at this
point I'm reminded that a web site is for life not just for
Christmas. Speaking of Christmas - is anyone doing anything?
Granted the question is a bit vague but I'd be interested to hear
everyone's plans.
Nick 30/10/2000, 11:39
Email
Not Given
Dave - Where's the Polling Station? I've been campaining all
weekend and am ready to cast my vote on the referendum of the
decade, as promised last week. But where do I vote?
dave 30/10/2000, 11:9
dave
How does this work? Hmmm, where to begin. Er, you type something
and then you are ignored unless it is worthy of comment, so in
actual fact your comment of 'How does this work???' seems to be
spot-on in this respect. OK, I will now post this message as a
reply and will fire back the following as a repost, 'How do you
want it to work???' You can now either reply or scuttle off with
your tail between your legs. These interactions between two people
are known as 'conversations' and are the bedrock of any chat site.
Unknown Person 30/10/2000, 10:42
Email
Not Given
how does this work???
caz 30/10/2000, 10:41
boy_crazy_4eva@hotmail.com
hello everyone. im female, 16 from uk. im intrested in older men,
but not that old, no older than 30. i have other intrests 2 but u
will have 2 wait 2 no about them!!!
GOD 28/10/2000, 13:15
bigboss@heaven.com
I AM THE LORD. THE CREATOR. HONEST. YOU CAN TELL THAT I REALLY AM
GOD AS I SPEAK IN CAPITAL LETTERS. SO LISTEN. ALRIGHT? OK. HONEY,
I SPEAKETH TO YOU. i HAVE JUST ONE THING TO SAY, IN THE KINGDOM OF
HEAVEN, NO GINGERS ALLOWED.
Psi 28/10/2000, 0:15
Email
Not Given
Dave, why does the breaking news section use Yank dates? Get it
sorted.
dave 27/10/100, 20:29
dave.patrick,
etc...
So, this fascination with Devon and Trago Mills - has it gone to
far? YOU decide when I introduce a poll on this site next week.
Thank you Simon for your kind article - it really was only a
matter of time before my past came back to haunt me. Have a great
weekend everyone. Oh and Honey, try to stay out of church.
simon H 27/10/2000, 12:57
Email
Not Given
Oh, and check out www.amihotornot.com for a real laugh. You have
to rank each person in order to move on. Minutes of fun here.
Simon H. 27/10/2000, 12:48
Email
Not Given
I am currently suffering from a hangover spawned from Satan's
backside after I attended 'The Donkey Show' last night at the
Hanover Grand club off Regent Street in London, England. For those
who haven't heard of this latest offspin of the Car Wash/Starsky & Hutch
70's revival, there is a small cast of scantily clad men and women
who perform 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' but replace all Shakespearean
dialogue with 70's disco records. They perform on movable stages,
platforms, and in the middle of the audience. Absolutely stunning
with a huge twist at the end which I won't tell you about. I am
ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY going again as it is a truly fantastic thing
to watch. Let me know if you want to come along. Oh, and all this talk of Trago Mills has caused me to write an
article for the Breaking News Section. Have a look if you want to
learn more about a major Devonshire attraction.
Chris Evans 27/10/2000, 11:31
Email
Not Given
Ken, I will indeed be at Vicarage Road on Tuesday night. Mobile's
working again now. Slight problem with leaving it in All Bar One
for several hours.
The Ranter 27/10/2000, 11:11
ack@ack.com
I can do this wierd
plasma thingie:
Ken 26/10/2000, 17:55
Email
Not Given
Guilty as charged my Mayor Wiggins of Torquay....no I do not have
a photo of Trago Mills, but I am intending to make a pilgrimage
for Friday 10th Nov in the afternoon, so anyone interested in
coming to visit the hallowed ground see you there for about 2pm.
Chris your mobile is not working....but I am up for seeing Watford
Vs Man United on Tuesday.... what about you Roughty?
Chris Evans 26/10/2000, 16:21
Email
Not Given
Talking about new jobs...yep, I've done it again. Lasted 3 1/2
months this time. Think that's a record even for me. Ken don't you
have a photo of Trago Mills to go with the rest of the ones you've
put up?
Nick Wiggins 26/10/2000, 14:37
Nick.Wiggins@torbay.gov.uk
Me thinks Mr Rodrigues has been playing with his scanner....
heaven 26/10/100, 11:33
jill.ablet@talk21.com
hello
Simon Hopes 26/10/2000, 10:10
Email
Not Given
Actually, Jason has a point - have you noticed (or correct me if
I'm wrong), but is this chat facility predominantly used by male
madhatters ? In fact, there have been only two female entries in
the last month - unless the ranter is a girl or David Wild has had
those hormone implants he was telling me about last time I saw
him. David P. - perhaps we could entice women onto the site with a
'ladies corner' section with stuff about bras and Mel Gibson etc.
jason 25/10/2000, 14:43
jasonroy@lineone.net
ANY SEXY WOMEN HERE
jason 25/10/2000, 14:42
JASON@JASONROY.KAROO.CO.UK
Nothing said.
zd 25/10/2000, 21:31
zanydude@hotmail.com
Hey funksters, howz about we get this chat cookin'...no, only
joking, it's John Wyatt here with some me news. I've bagged a job
as a sub-editor at The News, Portsmouth's evening newspaper, which
I will be starting on Nov 20. Cue a fresh round of funny local
paper jokes. And I'm feeling a bit poorly at the moment, so could
somebody pop round with some sympathy and a mug of Ovaltine? Ta.
Nick Wiggins 25/10/2000, 13:19
Nick.Wiggins@torbay.gov.uk
For those of you wishing to relocate to sunny South Devon, may
be interested in the job vacancies advertised in today's Herald
Express and Western Morning News. Sales Assistants required for
Trago Mills. £4.55/hour + pension I'll have you know. Details
also on www.fish4.co.uk and search for trago. What more could a
man want? An estabished career with a global retailer of tat. I've
got my application in. P.S. Now working on a new song - "How
much is that tat in the window? Lets all join the Trago
trail..."
bigbollox 24/10/2000, 19:13
biggerbollox@yahoo.com
hello
Adrian S 24/10/2000, 18:16
Email
Not Given
Will Madhatters be organising a day trip to Trago Mils? If so
please book me in. Having just moved I have had to sell my
paperclips, I am now in a position to buy again (I can't wait).
I've also found it difficult to find a bamboo two seater in Aztec
finish, although I'm unsure how I'll fit these on the back of my
scooter. Can any-one help?
Epileptic 24/10/2000, 17:59
Email
Not Given
Warning flashing signs may cause nausea in certian individuals.
Especially Trago Mills signs
Simon H. 24/10/2000, 17:43
Email
Not Given
I wanted to do that
dave 24/10/2000, 16:22
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Can anyone else do this?
dave 24/10/2000, 16:20
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I believe in the Church of Trago, the Lord of Bargains and the
Holy Spirit of pointless tat. All for under a £.
dave 24/10/2000, 16:19
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Uh, oh. God botherer, watch out...
Honey 24/10/2000, 14:38
me again
For a real giggle view my last message under the Jesusifier....very
amusing!!!!!
Honey 24/10/2000, 14:35
honeyinhull@ic24.net
Speaking of suprises....Hi all! I wanted to tell you all that I
have had a dramatic conversion to Christianity....Now pick your
jaws up....I certainly don't want to spoil this wonderfully funny
chat site by talking about anything serious....but I just wanted
to let you know (as I know some of you have been really good
friends and may be pleased for me...) that I am so
happy....happier than I have ever been in all my life even under
the influence of all sorts of substances and I just felt the need
to anounce it. I hope this doesn't offend or upset anyone and I
hope you are all well and happy with life. This is very hard for
me to do and very embarassing but you know when you just feel you
have to do something....well, it's done now and I shall bugger off
and feel silly! Love to all xxx Honey
The 'Song for Trago Mills' Commision 24/10/2000, 14:20
www.trago.co.uk
We at Trago Mills are all very excited by the news of further
entries to the 'Song for Trago Mills' contest. The best of luck to
all our contestants.
Simon H. 24/10/2000, 13:41
Email
Not Given
For those of you who don't know about it, go to www.trago.co.uk
and you're in for a big surprise !
Dave 24/10/2000, 13:30
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Nick - sounds pretty good. It proves that a high standard of entry
even during this early 'creative phase' is apparent. I for one am
looking to pay homage to the Mighty Mills in my tribute song
entitled 'R Goat' - an anagramatic melodic tome set to the tune of
Roy Orbison's 'Pretty Woman'.
FUNKY FEMALE 2K 24/10/2000, 10:37
Email
Not Given
Hiya room wotsuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!!!!!!!
FUNKY FEMALE 2K 24/10/2000, 10:36
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
Nick Wiggins 23/10/2000, 20:32
Nick.Wiggins@torbay.gov.uk
Can I suggest everyone views this page in "Swedish Chef"
dialect - available through the Cockney link on the news page. It
kindof puts everything in perspective - in particular the Insulter
and Ranter. I am currently preparing my Song For Trago. My Working
Title is "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, a
barbeque, 40 square foot of lino, and three litres of terracota
emulsion."
Unknown Person 23/10/2000, 17:14
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
hayley 23/10/2000, 17:14
Email
Not Given
wazzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hayley 23/10/2000, 17:13
Email
Not Given
wazzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dave 23/10/2000, 14:37
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Cheers Julian for your show news- bad timing for a lot of people
as they are at the Banquet, but may be able to come. Nicki -
you're right we are groovy... Badger is the coolest with his new
'Song For Trago'.
Nicki 21/10/2000, 22:7
nicki-paget@supanet.com
Hiya Dudes. Howya doing? You sound groovy to me. Do you wanna chat
to me or wot??
anna riley 19/10/2000, 21:9
jestersrileaz@supanet.com
hello
Ken 19/10/2000, 16:44
Email
Not Given
Mr Hopes, do you still only want to do just tv & film? Can
I tempt you into the commercials market?
The Ranter 19/10/2000, 16:21
ack@ack.com
Colour
is the new black and white, or something
Simon H 19/10/2000, 16:2
Email
Not Given
Preferably not until I have a budget of no less than £1,000,000
and the backing of Miramax.
Ken 19/10/2000, 12:4
Email
Not Given
Hear, Hear Davey Pee all this hate going around.. why!?. Si H,
can't wait to see your celluloid masterpieces next year..and best
of luck to Gaz & Steve French with the latest UAC project.
P.S. When are you directing the next Hopesian classic?
Simon H. 19/10/2000, 11:19
Email
Not Given
Well at least I can now reveal the true identity of the Insulter
after leaving a big clue in his last insult. Answers on a postcard
to ............
Unknown Person 18/10/2000, 22:41
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
dave 18/10/2000, 18:2
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Listen guys, I mean come on, let's just get along. Love breeds
love, hate breeds hate. Rabbits breed more rabbits. I must admit
though I am rather taken with The Ranter's new colourful postings.
Thanks Badger for your new posting in the News section. I wish you
success with your new Marketing Monthly. Maybe you could get the
Ranter and The Insulter to write a column?
The Ranter 18/10/2000, 17:16
ack@ack.com
ROTFLMAO
The Insulter 18/10/2000, 16:57
Email
Not Given
PS Ranter, you're a pr*ck
The Insulter 18/10/2000, 16:53
Email
Not Given
Just who th f*ck do yo think you are big-nose. I'll tell you what,
God's gift to feckin everything. Well let me tell you something
YOU'RE WORTHLESS, YOUR AS WORTHLESS AS A SCRATCHED HEART LP, AS
WORTHLESS AS A RABBIT IN A HAMMOCK CAR ORNAMENT, AS WORTHLESS AS
BRIAN HOWLETT. YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN THE BLOOD IN A SENILE TRAMPS
SH*T. KNOW YOUR PLACE HOPES.
The Ranter 18/10/2000, 16:28
Email
Not Given
Oops, double post. Never mind
The Ranter 18/10/2000, 16:25 No.
Ack@ack.com
The Ranter 18/10/2000, 16:25 No.
Ack@ack.com
Simon H. 18/10/2000, 16:17
Email
Not Given
Ranter - have you ever thought of injecting some humour into your
rants so they become more readable ?
Simon H. 18/10/2000, 16:16
Email
Not Given
Insulter - Tthere's a big difference between deterring would-be
non-madhatter chatters and being a complete c*nt.
The Ranter 18/10/2000, 14:21 Bile,
there's no place for it out side of lipid digestion. Keep it in.Rant over.
ack@ack.com
My word,
what a lot of bile there is on the esteemed pages of Madhatter
today. If there's one thing I can't stand it's bile. Bile when
it's inside ones digestive tract is extremely useful, it helps
breakdown all that fat we westerners eat. But bile when it's out
of the stomach, bletch. It smells, it's pungent and it's misuse
is highly provocative. I was on the receiving end of some Train
Bile this morning when some tw*t objected to my attempts to actually
get on the Train and called me a "f*cking w*nker". I
retorted by elbowing him squarely in the jaw and pushing him off
the train and treading on his Gucci briefcase. "whos the w*nker
now?" I retorted.
Les Dennis 18/10/2000, 14:19
les@sadandpredictable.com
Yes, lets have a mass-debate!
Matt B 18/10/2000, 13:30
HaHa@ha.com
I think that Michael touched a nerve with the previous 'chatter',
Perhaps this should be called a debate forum to prevent stupid
people who think this is a chat forum! huh
The Insulter 18/10/2000, 12:47
gettingprogressivelymoreupset@chattyidiots.com
What the hell is going on!!!! Please stop leaving hopelessly
irrelavent messages. This is getting beyond a joke. Who cares
about you Micheal, you spotty little tosser. At this rate all your
gonna do is get date raped and murdered by by an 18st middleaged
fudgepacker posing as 'Sloughgirl_15'. You'd like that wouldn't
you c0ck stain. Well you know what I'd say - good ridance - one
less fool in the world to worry about cluttering up this page with
inane BS. Now feck off.
Michael 18/10/100, 11:21
mike_da_man@talk21.com
Is there any point in dating??? I'm sick and tired of being messed
around by women!!!I'm not bitter it's just really annoying!!E-mail
me with your opinions about guys/girls messing u about!! Michael
from Livingston in Scotland
Simon H 18/10/2000, 10:14
Email
Not Given
Wasn't 'Howlett' one of Brian Benson's pseudonyms.
Dave Wid 18/10/2000, 10:2
Email
Not Given
Please tell me Brian Howlett was joking. It was one of you
guys......right?
ray g 18/10/2000, 3:45
rayg'iol.ie
hello
Unknown Person 17/10/2000, 22:32
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
nay 17/10/2000, 21:59
Email
Not Given
hi
naomi 17/10/2000, 21:59
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
starkey 17/10/2000, 20:0
pcdl27444@cableinet.co.uk
any one wanna chat
Brian Howlett 17/10/2000, 19:42
brianh@teenchat.com
Hey there you crazy guys. I'm a 14m looking for a good hard
rimming. Would anyone like to talk to me?
dave 17/10/2000, 17:42
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Er... is it peas?
Simon H. 17/10/2000, 17:22
Email
Not Given
Speaking of which.... if there's one thing I'm looking forward to
at this banquet reunion weekend, it's seeing good old David Wild
again. I can't begin to count the times I've thought about and
missed that cheery smile and slightly hit or miss sense of humour.
In fact, I'm so sure that the presence of David Wild will be a
pivotal part of the weekend's proceedings, that I've decided to
run a small competition. Just answer this rather tricky 'Wild
Question' and the lucky winner will get to spend three hours
underneath David Wild himself in a venue of their own choice: Q: "David Wild has has had a tattoo removed from his
armpit. Can you tell me what his armpit usually smells of ?"
Simon H. 17/10/2000, 16:34
Email
Not Given
Dear Dr Cunni1ingus I am having a great deal of trouble bringing my pets to climax
through oral stimulation. Is there something I am doing wrong ?
Troy Mclure 17/10/2000, 11:18
Troy@springfield.net
Hello everyone. My name is Troy Mclure and you may remember me
from such classic health and safety films as 'Mind that stapler'
and 'Don't do things that might irritate your inner ear'. Recently
I wrote to you to tell you about my experiences with new Campino
'Strawberries and Cream' boiled sweets. In the interest of public
satefy I have now also sampled the alternate variety, 'Oranges and
Cream'. It is with great regret that I must report that this
variety of Campino confectionery also tasted like someone had shot
their load right into the back of my mouth. However, this time
there was at least a slight tinge of orange to the taste
sensation. Buyers beware, and stay tuned for more consumer
reporting. If you have any consumer nightmare stories to tell,
please write to me at the above ficticious address.
WOOLY 17/10/2000, 0:23
S.WOOLRIDGE@NTLWORLD.CO.UK
HELLO VIEWERS
RH@boyz in the hood 16/10/2000, 22:13
Email
Not Given
A message to the Fat Sheriff of Nottingham, see you at Tintagel
Castle, Saturday 11th November about 3.00. If you have any mates
bring them along......yours faithfully RH
Tevin Neegan 13/10/2000, 20:45
tevin@virtualdoley.arse
I've just noticed that the number of days left to the banguet =
the age of demon right back Dave Wid.PS Does anyone know where I
can find International Superstar Soccer Social Security.
Dave Wid 13/10/2000, 20:41
or_am_I@drunk.com
I just wanted to say that I wasnt wanking a cat, I was milking it.
MMmmmMMMM nice on the old sugar puffs, cats milk. Oh and while
we're on the subject (of impersonating people, not m*sturbating
household pets) I am in fact not me but someone else
entirely.......or am I......maybe...yes,no, what tiddley dum da
HOT MILK FROM CATS MAKES ME HORNY. PS May I give my commiserations
to retired England coach and old boss Tevin Neegan.
The Ranter 13/10/2000, 17:37
ack@ack.ack
Well I'm
still me
dave 13/10/2000, 17:22
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Would the real 'Slim Davey' please stand up? OK this impersonation
thing is a bit below the belt. Now stop it or I shall be forced to
give you all passwords - and I don't know how to do that.
Simon Hopes 13/10/2000, 17:17
Email
Not Given
It's totally not cricket to impersonate people on this chat site,
whoever just added that I wank cats. I do, but that is for me to
disclose and no-one else David Wild.
The Ranter 13/10/2000, 14:30
ack
EGG
David Hasselhof 13/10/2000, 14:19
david@hasselhof.com
Do not use the lord's name in vain. I will reap a mighty revenge
on those who scorn me and my mullet, and my talking car. I am
better than T.J.Hooker. And I've met Heather Locklear, so there.
Simon Hopes 13/10/2000, 14:17
si@isbored
Yes, me too
Dave Wild 13/10/2000, 14:16
iam@notfunny.cum
I wank cats
dave 13/10/2000, 14:16
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
EGG... and while we're at it, we don't like impersonations round
these parts whoever that previous 'Davey P' was.
The Ranter 13/10/2000, 13:55
ack
By "pointless levels of nonesense" I mean government
and corporate bull, not website posting wierdness. Chat site posting
wierdness is to be encouraged. EGG!
The Ranter 13/10/2000, 13:50
ack@ack.com
The Ranter provides topics for conversation. You can either get
riled by what I say, ignore me or engage in an interesting
dialogue over these topics, but I won't go away! I am just as
happy as everybody else to see Dave Ps milk stained David
Hasselhoff, but when it comes to it, I just get a bit frustrated
with the pointless levels of nonsense that we are constantly
expected to accept as the norm and want to air it. At least I
don't post "Any1 wan2 chat" and all that rubbish!
Simon Hopes 13/10/2000, 13:2
Email
Not Given
Oh.... and by the way - David Patrick has a Playgirl center-fold
of David Hasselfoff touching himself in his bottom right hand desk
drawer at home. It is quite old and has some milk stains on it
which David tells me was when his cat jumped up and knocked a pint
over.
Simon Hopes 13/10/2000, 12:57
Email
Not Given
If anyone has any pictures of Heather Locklear when she was in
TV's 'The Fall Guy' (with Lee Majors) with her legs akimbo, I
would also pay for that.
Davey P 13/10/2000, 12:15
old@oldfart.com
oooo yes (mince) and how about a picture of that nice David
Hasselhoff ooooo (mince) oooooo (mince, mince, mince) he started
my growing interest in twats.
Philly 13/10/2000, 11:27
somewhere
in the south west
Quite agree Herr Hopes. Lets oust these unknowing types with calls
of 'Swinging Barmaids', 'Scalextic shithead', 'The Boyfriend
performed in front of the Notre Dame' and of course 'egg!' etc.
etc..... And how about a piccy of Charlie's Angels while someones
at it.. as it were.
Simon H. 13/10/2000, 11:0
yokoono.com
I think this chat facility has become way too angry and political
and propose we revert back to the old days of good old fashioned
Hatfield obscure reference fun. Which is why I vote for more
pictures of seventies cult sex symbols. In fact, could someone
please post a picture of Wonderwoman, which was, as far as I can
remember, is what started my growing interest in breasts. I would
pay for this.
lola 12/10/2000, 23:44
jason@english.fsnet.co.uk
hello is there anybody out there
Kevin 12/10/2000, 22:51
kevin@taverner.co.uk
As an employee of a Time Warner owned company, I can't comment on
the stupid DVD region system ;)
Bouddicca 12/10/2000, 19:59
bouddina@yahoo.de
Nothing said.
Unknown Person 12/10/2000, 19:58
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
dave 12/10/2000, 17:0
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Er... ha, ha. Quite.
The Ranter 12/10/2000, 15:19
ack@ackaak.ack
CJD - it's all bull-shit (literally!). In a 2 year study, the
government funded Progressive Intellectual and Neurological
Deterioration (PIND) study, 885 patients have been reported with
suspected PIND, including two fatal cases of definitive vCJD and
one probable case. One of the cases was a 12-year-old girl. So
far no other children have been identified with the clinical symptoms
of vCJD. Clinicians who make up the PIND study group have
discussed 655 cases and 360 have been categorised into 88 known
neurodegenerative diseases. What did the study Conclude? Well,
instead of taking the logical conclusion that CJD is NOT an
emerging epidemic and the mass destruction of our nations entire
beef farming industry was "harsh", they've concluded
that "CJD may have a longer incubation time than previously
thought" and that the study, along with the BSE measures must
continue. CR*P! There is no CJD epidemic - it's all media induced
health-care hype! People, do not belive the Health Nazis. Rant
over.
The Ranter 10/10/2000, 12:38
ack.ack@ack!
I have had a tendancy to be a bit overly technical in my recent
diatribes, for which I apologise :-) However, Time Warner? B'ah.
Oh and the other thing- Star Wars triliogy is being re-released in
time for christmas, not on DVD though, on fusty old VHS. Oi,
Lucas, NO!
dave p 10/10/2000, 11:51
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
A very astute rant, Mr Ranter. Although it will go over the heads
of most people and be put down as a particularly 'nerdy' rant, as
a DVD owner myself I would like to heartily endorse your
statements. Oi! Time Warner, Feck Off.
The Ranter 10/10/2000, 9:45
Ack@ack.com
Bloody Time Warner. They're about to physically alter DVDs so that
people who modify their players to be region free are no longer
able to play discs from outside of their region. Here is a summary
of their not exactly well published press release " Warner's
enhancement "allows the disc to detect if a hardware player
is region specific (as required by the CSS licensing agreement),
or if it has been manufactured or altered in the market to be
'region free'. If the player is 'region free' the [Region Code
Enhancement] will not allow the disc to play the program material.
It will instead display a message on the television advising the
consumer that the machine is not authorised to play this
disc", says the leaked memo. "Warner will start applying
the RCE to discs scheduled for release in the US market beginning
in late October. At this time, the RCE will only be applied to
Region 1 versions of titles. At least one other studio (Columbia
TriStar) will also be releasing discs with the RCE during the
fourth quarter." The document continues: "It is
especially important to focus on retailers selling product online,
and any account, which may be exporting products outside region
one. "With the online retailers, we must discuss the need to
properly notify consumers outside the region one territories that
the disc may not play in their player before the disc is
purchased. The customer dissatisfaction and returns risk is
significant if this is not done." In other words, Warner
knows all too well such a move will piss users off, which is
probably why "there is no plan to send out a press release on
this program". Oi, Warner, NO. The DVD region system is
blatant market manipulation and serves no real purpose except to
increase your already bloated profits. Feck off.
Unknown Person 10/10/2000, 4:58
Email
Not Given
hello all you non - sleepers!
dave 9/10/2000, 23:3
daveyp
Please do, Jen and while your at it, come back with a topical
conversation for us all.
Jen 9/10/2000, 21:1
Email
Not Given
virgin visit....might even try it again!!
Frank 9/10/2000, 16:24
Frank@IamFrank.co.uk
To be Frank........
bill 9/10/2000, 16:23
Email
Not Given
hello, hello, hello. What it is all of this then?
dave p 9/10/2000, 15:51
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Ann Dee - it's interesting to see the comment from STEVEO below. I
wasn't aware he was into Britney Spears - do you think Ruth knows?
Sorry Matt, I'm not clever enough to dicuss. By the way has anyone
tried the Search section yet? It's quite dull.
Matt B 9/10/2000, 15:34
Email
Not Given
Yes, I would agree a little bit of a weak ending. I think it is a
general trend of the modern Hollywood filmmakers who tend to
'write from a standard script' mindless I say, Discuss...
Andrew Tillson-Willis 9/10/2000, 15:28
95.tillsoa@thechasetc.org.uk
Nothing said.
dave 9/10/2000, 15:23
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Er, hello Matthew, ow be going there? Enjoyed 'Final Destination'
last night - did think the ending was a bit meek though, and bleak
and weak. Any other Hatters want to chat? Perhaps you can post up
a non taxing question about stuff?
Bo 9/10/2000, 15:15
Email
Not Given
Yo peeps, hope you are all fab and groovy, just wanted to say
heelloooooo to whoever is out there whoever you may be!
Matt B 9/10/2000, 14:57
mbelton@newellwf.co.uk
Ta mate, how you doin? Any pontential of seeing you tonight - I've
just come onto you on the web - urghhh
Ann Dee 9/10/100, 14:29
Email
Not Given
Hello Mr Belton, welcome to the site and thanks for contributing
in your own psuedo-anonymous way.
STEVEO 9/10/2000, 14:19
218288@GLOSCAT.AC.UK
HI PEOPLE I MUST SAY BRITNEY SPEARS LOOKED MIGHTY FINE ON THE MTV
MUSIC AWARDS WHAT DO YOU THINK
STEVEO 9/10/2000, 14:17
218288@GLOSCAT.AC.UK
HI PEOPLE
Ooh Missus 9/10/2000, 14:3
Oh.Ello@missus
Well Blimey. I must say this is a tremendously interesting
website, all you lovely people putting your tupence ha'penny worth
- have you seen it!
dave 9/10/2000, 11:35
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Just take this opportunity to say thanks to Justin and Liz for a
great joint 30th party on Saturday. As usual Justin was far too
organised and the event ended with clinical precision in a karaoke
rendition of Perfect Day, but he still managed to find time to
dance. Good man and thanks again guys!
sexi gal 7/10/2000, 21:20
Email
Not Given
any lads out there wanna chat
tess 8/10/2000, 12:21
Email
Not Given
hello people hows it going?what the heck are you talkin about wank
stains for aint u got nowt better
dave 6/10/2000, 16:39
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Surely that should be English Wank Stains? However as stains are
unable to be wanked, this poses an interesting dilemma. Are you
perhaps referring to Staines in Middlesex, and the fact that the
populus have 'executive relief' from the rest of the country? Or
do you feel that wankstains is indeed a word that should be added
to the New Oxford English Dictionary. No, thought not. Perhaps you
are referring to Wank Stein, the popular German Snow boarder and
Scientist? Whatever, thanks for an interesting discussion.
Unknown Person 6/10/100, 15:51
Email
Not Given
english wankstains
DANDY 6/10/100, 15:49
hollyfulton@hotmail.com
yo wassup
Ann Dee 6/10/100, 15:8
Email
Not Given
What is occurring with these individuals thinking this is a live
chat site. I mean, really, have they not looked at the message
times of previous contributors, IT DOESN'T HAPPEN ALL THE TIME
FECKWITS!!!! Anyhoo, just had a beer with the venerablt Mr
Slinger, he's up for it and looking forward to Cornwall. By the
way, I told him, so best not keep it a secret, bring your own
tights. Unless you have a penchant for second hand smelly ones.
Black, wooly numbers are recommended, both aesthetically and for
warmth reasons.
ace_parinoid 6/10/2000, 14:34
rextoyou@hotmail.com
yo yo yo
Kirstie Peters 6/10/2000, 14:40
kirstiep@teenchat.com
would any nice boyz wanna chat?
Kirstie Peters 6/10/2000, 14:35
kirstiep@teenchat.com
Is anybody out there who would like a chat?
Kirstie Peters 6/10/2000, 14:31
kirstiep@teenchat.com
Hello i'm 14 years old and looking for a chat
The Ranter 6/10/2000, 10:49
acccccck!
So, Freeserve are to "punish" users of their unmetered
internet access who "abuse the service by overuse". In a
statement they said that "users who are surfing for more than
16 hours a day will be expelled from Freeserve". Excuse me?
They offer Unmetered unlimited internet access and then they
threaten to ban you if you use it? Oi, Freeserve, NO. Sorry, Rant
over
Adrian 6/10/2000, 10:2
Pink
Floyd
Is anybody out there
The Melancholy one 5/10/100, 17:37
Email
Not Given
I can't be bothered, why should I write anything interesting it's
all so pointless. I mean, of course I'm looking forward to the Wet
Bank but is it likely to be all that it's cracked up to be?
Probably for most, but for me, well, I doubt it somehow.
Dave Wid 5/10/2000, 16:25
Email
Not Given
......and how about some movie masterpieces in an on-line format.
I am sure there other video masterpieces (Nic with the
wheelbarrow, the men with no bottoms, people dissapearing in
trees, behind trees etc.) Oh the fond memories. C'mon Davey P,
hassle old Mr Flute for his UHDS video archives. PS Please don't
hassle Mr Haver for his video archives. Those that did survive Mr
Bensons viewing and over zealous use of 'Re-wind' and 'Freeze
Frame' are definately not suitable for this site.
Ken 5/10/2000, 16:17
Email
Not Given
Dave, I think it's fantastic all the work you are putting in,
hopefully once the wedding is out of the way I have afew ideas
which i'd like to organise. However having just read the Nic
McMahon masterpiece, is there any chance of getting the great
man's legendary "Farmer B******d" gig from Wales 1994
onto the audio website.
dave p 5/10/2000, 12:56
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I have to agree with you Ranter on the petrol issue.
The Charlatans 5/10/2000, 12:18
ourkeyboardplayers@in.heaven
Hey, Country Boy......
The Ranter 5/10/2000, 11:56
ack@ack.ack
Ok - the price of oil has fallen to below 30 dollars a barrel now,
a fall of 15%. So, will petrol prices fall now? Will they boll*cks.
We're being RIPPED OFF. If it's not the stinking government it's
the stinking filthy oil companies. They're all too keen to raise
prices but they never bloody cut prices do they? Charlatans,
vagabonds, unadulterated daylight robbery. B'ah. Sorry, rant over
dave p 5/10/2000, 11:53
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Well, more sad than funny. But entertaining nonetheless.
dave p 5/10/2000, 11:52
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Can I just draw your attention to the fact that there is some new
stuff in the audio section. Go and have a listen to it 'cos its
funny.
The Ranter 5/10/2000, 9:29
Ack@ack.ack
Sorry, losing my touch - it's tough ranting all day you know :-)
Dave Wid 5/10/2000, 9:8
Sorry about the double posting. But, hey, Dave, I just checked out
the UHDS marriages articles and how come theres I didn't get a
mention. You must be losing your touch....
Dave Wid 5/10/2000, 9:2
Call that a Rant - its more like Open bloody University. Unless
you want me to start quoting 'Operational Management' by
Sconberger & Knodd(off) , you'll leave it well alone. Anyway,
you're only trying to look clever in front of the Alumni visitors.
PS I'd just like to say that my time at The University of
Hertfordshire were the best years of my life and have made me the
man I am today. A twice divorced, under paid, cynical engineer
who is slowly losing the wi... (THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN
CENSORED BY D PATRICK AS PART OF THE 'KEEP IT A HAPPY SITE'
CAMPAIGN)
Dave Wid 5/10/2000, 8:52
Call that a Rant - its more like Open bloody University. Unless
you want me to start quoting 'Operational Management' by
Sconberger & Knodd(off) , you'll leave it well alone. Anyway,
you're only trying to look clever in front of the Alumni visitors.
PS I'd just like to say that my time at The University of
Hertfordshire were the best years of my life and have made me the
man I am today. A twice divorced, under paid, cynical engineer
who is slowly losing the wi... (THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN
CENSORED BY D PATRICK AS PART OF THE 'KEEP IT A HAPPY SITE'
CAMPAIGN)
shaznai 4/10/2000, 8:36
shaznai1@supanet.com
hi everyone
The Ranter 4/10/2000, 17:26
Ack@ack.cahdadh
If this manages to get past the "Censors"... don't
bother with Anti-bacterial stuff, it's all marketing clap trap.
Todays Rant is educational... Read and learn: "As to the
total number of species that are inhabiting a healthy body,
estimates vary as more species are discovered on a seemingly
regular basis, but Mark Pallen, a professor of microbiology based
at the Queen's University of Belfast, reckons that the figure is
in excess of 200. "There are more than 80 that live in the
mouth alone and studies that have been carried out at the
Laboratory of the Ecology and Physiology of the Digestive System
in Jouy-en-Josas, France, suggest that at least another 80 live in
the gut, with many others living on our skin. It's impossible to
be precise, but our permanent resident population certainly
exceeds 200 species," he says. "The human genome carries
a maximum of 100,000 genes, yet the average bacterial genome has
2000 genes. Therefore there are actually four times as many genes
found in the bacteria that live on humans, as there are in the
human genome itself." Of course, it's not just bacteria and
viruses that make people their home. In his books Fearsome Fauna
(W. H. Freeman, 1999) and Furtive Fauna (Penguin, 1992), Roger M.
Knutson describes the wide range of parasites that live both on
and inside you. These tend to be macroscopic organisms, and some
of them can be pretty gruesome creatures. Lice are perhaps the
most common of these body dwellers. They have the ability to get
everywhere from your hair to your armpits to your groin.
Nonetheless, they tend to be more itchy than damaging--unlike
ticks, which can cause any number of nasty and exotic diseases
from royal farm virus to Omsk haemorrhagic fever. And then there
is the scabies mite, which is believed to infest millions of
humans worldwide, and is able to burrow into the body to hide
itself, causing a nasty itch. Fortunately, its close relative, the
follicle mite, which is found on everybody in the world, happily
munches dried skin cells and causes far less aggravation. And not
all body parasites creep and crawl--you can find fungi in your
hair and mould in your skin folds if you look closely enough.
Inside your digestive tract you can, among others, find the
protozoan that causes amoebic dysentery, 20-metre beef tapeworms
and a hookworm that has a penchant for finding its way into your
bloodstream. Other creatures in your blood can include the
hermaphroditic Shistosoma worm, which can lead to a bloody and
scarred bladder, while in your lymphatic system you may find the
12-centimetre Wucheria worm. In your liver you may come across the
bile-loving Clonorchis sinensis fluke and, perhaps most horrifying
of all, the brain can house Naegleria fowleri, an amoeba that just
loves the warmth that it finds inside your skull, reproducing in
its millions until you drop down dead" Nice. So, beware the
ultra-clean, but also beware the man who roots in cr*p.
Le Burge 4/10/2000, 15:33
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Why can't these lonely internet victims learn how to spell? What
does "wots" or "goin" mean? Certainly not
Queen's English that's for sure ("Can, anybody find me,
Somebody to.... Love")
tori 4/10/2000, 15:25
Email
Not Given
wots goin on?
Peter Bushbeater 4/10/2000, 10:26
Email
Not Given
I have been beating my stick against a small piece of leather for
twelve years. On Monday night I finally achieved enlightenment -
being able to pull off with my left hand as well.
Unknown Person 3/10/2000, 23:52
Email
Not Given
Nothing said.
The Philosophiser 3/10/2000, 17:41
yes...if
I think I have
The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next
dave 3/10/2000, 17:19
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Dear Ranter, if you scroll to the side of Erin Gray you will see
your earlier posting - censorship is not my bag. if you want to
blame anyone, blame Mr Le Burge. Oh and while I'm at it, can I
just explain that we lost September's chat due to a file crash on
the server - it had run out of diskspace or something. I was upset
by that as there had been some excellent Ranting, Revealing,
Philosophising and Concealing all round.
the blagger 3/10/2000, 16:41
easy@geezer.mate
look out, I'll nick it
The Ranter 3/10/2000, 16:38
ack@ack.ack
Of course, I could be mistaken, damn scroll bars... >:-8 Ooops.
The Ranter 3/10/2000, 16:37
ack@ack.ack
Right. 2 things. 1st Egg? Egg Schmegg 2nd I posted Egg Shmegg
earlier on and it's disappered - Oi, Patrick, NO!
dave 3/10/2000, 16:31
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I have to concede that, yes - she was a bit foxy. Good to see some
Madhatters getting their hands dirty with a bit of the old HTML.
Shouldn't really encourage it as we could cause some problems,
oops shouldn't have mentioned that - anyway. Can I just mention
that after my Alumni meeting last night this site may be getting
some attention. Please can you keep it clean, if you do feel the
need to mention words like bollocks, arse and tits please use the
censored versions, i.e. b***ocks, ar** and t*ts. Oh, yeah the F
and C words are right out. Even F*** and C*** although clever use
of alternative swearing is encouraged. Be wiley and go about you
business. Thanks.
abiy2k 3/10/2000, 16:28
abistimson@aol.com
hello and what is going on
abiy2k2001 3/10/2000, 16:26
abistimson@aol.com
hello
Le Burge 3/10/2000, 16:23
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Oops - a bit big, isn't it
Le Burge 3/10/2000, 15:40
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Ahh, those Colonel Deering memories...
The Ranter 3/10/2000, 13:26
ack
@ahdhc,cjadffj
Egg schmegg
Philly 3/10/2000, 8:57
Email
Not Given
(bold)(font size 26)(underline)(caps)egg. Sorry guys, just can't
compete with you Internet gods.
Dave Wid 3/10/2000, 8:29
Just out of interest, who will be the first Madhatter whose age
will equal the number of days to go to the banquet? we could have
a competition called 'The Great Steve Phipps Race'. Winner walks
away wi....sorry zimmers away with a brand new spanking Home
Catheter Kit, donated by Piss Safe Monthly Magazine.
dave 2/10/2000, 21:37
dave
egg
Ken 2/10/2000, 17:27
Email
Not Given
Well done Kev & Jenny..have you set a date yet for the
wedding? Love the egg Dave, it looks like a prop from Buck Rogers
in the 25th Century, who could forget that annoying runt Twicky
and that horny lass who wore skin tight white leather
outfit.rrrrrrr!!
Jenny Mettham 2/10/2000, 15:56
jmettham@hotmail.com
Sorry to interupt the EGG chat but wanted to tell everyone that I
am entering the grown-up world....Kev Goodhand proposed to me at
the weekend, yes I did accept, and we are now officially engaged!
Dave Wid 2/10/2000, 15:52
Email
Not Given
LE Burge 2/10/2000, 14:32
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
EGG
Ken 2/10/2000, 14:27
Email
Not Given
Ahh Mr Wid...I did not see your cameo role in that Sarah
Lancashire programme, but did you record it?
dave 2/10/2000, 14:5
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
EGG
Le Burge 2/10/2000, 14:1
simon.burges@Bigfoot.com
EEEE-EEEEEEGGGGG!
Buckaroo Banzai 2/10/2000, 12:58
BB@the_hong_kong_cavaliers.com
Remember... Where ever you go, there you are......
The Ranter 2/10/2000, 11:30
ack@ack.com
Emil Heskey is crap. Let's compare him to the new Chelsea striker
Gudjohnsson, icelandic signed from Bolton Wanderers, used to
partner Ronaldo at PSV before he got a nasty injury. He's only 22
and he's just coming back to form. Looks really quick, good passer
too. Heskey looks like a bolted pony at times, completely lacking
in any thread of intelligence. He runs around like a headless
chicken and falls over more regularly than Greek Ferrys sink.
People have a go at Chelsea saying the number of languages mean
you can't communicate, but try communicating with Heskey. He looks
like he's only just learnt how to tie-up his boots. Why does
everyone bang on about him being a classic english centre forward.
Strong, brave, quick. He may well be but like other classic
English centre forwards he can't actually play football that well
and isn't very clever. English footballers? G'ah. Rant over
Dave Wid 2/10/2000, 10:57
Email
Not Given
What do you mean 'dissapeared'? What u mean is u lost it. What a
loss to the literary world. Anyway, philly, EGG.
Philly 2/10/2000, 8:45
Email
Not Given
egg
davey p 1/10/2000, 20:13
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Well, all the chat for September has mysteriously disappeared...
so let's start again eh!?
All chat for SEPTEMBER Was lost... alas
Dave Wid 31/8/2000, 15:17
Email Not Given
So, er.....Si, where are you? Are you alone......?What are you
wearing..........?
Simon H. 31/8/2000, 11:22
shopes@dentonwildeetc.
David, David, David. Enticing happy-go-lucky
e-chatters into cyber-sexual ritual is just not acceptable behaviour
in the year 2000. Perhaps back in 1999 people could quite easily
engage in that kind of activity but not now.Please go an get a
blow-up doll like everyone else. I suggest "Suction Sarah - She takes all you have" which
can be purchased for 3.99 at Trago Mills, Devon.
Dave Wid (again) 31/8/2000, 8:28
Email Not Given
........though I do think that MH should offer
a crispy £10 to anybody who can entice one of these lost chatters
into a little cyber sex.
Dave Wid 31/8/2000, 8:26
Email Not Given
David Patrick, you stand accused of putting one too may links to
the madhatters web site on the net, allowing all manner of retarded
kids (as against graduates) to regard this page as a mere chat
room. Thus I sentence you to..........a week away with Brian!
funky 31/8/100, 2:39
fmbolhaar@hotmail.com
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey
Nick Wiggins 30/8/2000, 20:33
Nick.Wiggins@torbay.gov.uk
If anyone wants to takes the piss out of my local retailer, the
shrine of Trago, I am happy to take this outside. We could even
sit on my new Trago discount outdoor furniture. Four Chairs and
a table for a shilling and sixpence. Except they melted in the
sun. In October. Great bargain though.
big bry 30/8/2000, 15:6
Email Not Given
hello there unknown
Louise 30/8/2000, 11:40
Email Not Given
Hi everyone, I'm off school with the flu so I'm just looking for
a cool person to chat with.
Anonymous 30/8/2000, 9:47
Anonyomous @anonyomous.net
Trago Mills should be burnt to the ground. But seeing as you are
all so for it - I have gone into hiding.Never before have I seen
so much tack under one roof and those cheesy faded plastic kids
rides........ Saints preserve us.
Chris 29/8/2000, 23:36
Chris.evans3@talk21.com
Have to agree with Ken. Was one of the Trago
virgins until Sunday. What a place. So much tacky shopping in one
place. Have to love it. Thankfully didn't buy anything...although
a wetsuit for £15 was tempting. Dave we're all converted. Trago
is the future of shopping.
Simon Hopes 29/8/2000, 16:14
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls..... watch this space because
we have nigh on booked our next UAC premiere date - 27th January
2001. Headlining the premiere will be a bar extension, with a couple
of films and some bands thrown in for good measure. Promises to
be a spectacle with the latest two films, an action thriller set
in Northern Ireland and a funky relationship docu-comedy. More
news when we know it, but invites should be with you in October.
Hope you can all come. This one wil be BIG !!!
dave 29/8/2000, 15:49
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Ken, that's really great to know. Trago Mills is the mecca of shopping
- it's the future, man. They still sell things in pounds and ounces,
inches and sq. feet. Ooo, how I miss it. Apologies about all these
rogue 'chatters' on the site. You'd think that even if they don't
know us they'd at least try and say something interesting - oh,
well. Having a good time in Edinburgh, even though the festival
finished yesterday. Has anyone ever heard of Dan Antapolski (not
even sure if that's the right spelling) - he ritually humiliated
me last night at a show. Serves me right for sitting in the from
row I guess. Still Roughty, Brian and Caro found it very funny.
biker 29/8/2000, 1:38
Email Not Given
Come on talk to us!!!
BIKER 29/8/2000, 1:36
Email Not Given
Is there anybody there?
Ken Rodrigues 28/8/2000, 21:24
Email Not Given
Dave...I thought you'd like to know that a few intrepid explorers
went to the fabled Trago Mills in Newton Abbot, Devon last weekend
and have now seen the light!!
sue harbourne 28/8/2000, 16:32
biffaone@hotmail.com
anybody want to chat to a biffa (not really) from brum?
Dave, Brian and Caroline 28/8/100, 15:40
Up in Edinburgh
Hello one and all from Edinburgh.
Indie 27/8/2000, 13:1
Email Not Given
Hello i 'm just wasting time hear cause i've not got anything better
to do at the moment . So i just want to talk
dave 25/8/2000, 17:16
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Sorry to disappoint you Si but I believe that the word Fuck was
first used on this non-regulated chat site by Gazza on 10/6/2000,
still you could get a prize for being the first person to say 'Twat'
or 'Poontang' - go on, give it a go...
Simon Hopes 25/8/2000, 16:0
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
.............. And in case you didn't know, David Wild has a previous
conviction for firing cough sweets out of his arse at at tourists.
Simon Hopes 25/8/2000, 15:56
shopes@dentonwildesapte
Ladies and Gentlemen.... I have to admit that I am............
not the Predictor........ nor am I the Revealer (however I am aware
of this charlatan's identity). However, the bit about the hands
and knees is true, but Phil promised he would never tell anyone.
Can I also be the first person to say Fuck on the Madhatters site
or has this been done before ?
dave 25/8/2000, 14:41
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Now, come on Revealer - it's not as if we didn't actually know
that anyway. I much preferred it when you were talking about Simon
Bennett's love affair with Irene Handl.
The Revealer 25/8/2000, 13:19
revealer@another.com
Today I Reveal.................that Si Hopes spends most weekends
naked and on his knees. He is used as a human coffee table by Mistress
Wetleather of Orpington. On mondays he may be seen in any of the
Capitals hospitals receiving treatment for minor scaldings and
burns, from microwave re-heated cocoa and stubs of menthol cigarettes.
It is true...............its is Revealed!
Si Burges 25/8/2000, 12:35
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
This useless predictor - Mr Hopes comment about him being a berk
followed very quickly on from the Predictor's barely disguised
baby prediction therefore the finger is still very much pointing
at Master Hopes
Dave Wid 25/8/2000, 10:52
Email Not Given
Now, according to Uncle K, this should work.... Visit Stone Revellers
at Revellers
Dave Wid 24/8/2000, 15:18
same as below
You can even check out the Stone Revellers web site at www.members.tripod.com/stone_revellers/
Dave Wid (Plugging a Play) 24/8/2000, 15:16
Correcto-mundo Mr Hatherely, tis indeed that cricket comedy. 'Outside
Edge' by Richard Harris is a rather amusing play about the goings
on at a local cricket team. I am playing 'Roger', the irritating
mysoginist and stressed out captain. Again with Stone Revellers,
its on from the 13th to the 16th of September, Tickets £5. All,
as ever, are welcome. If you're intrested, mail me or call me on
07801 271378. If you come on Saturday, they'll be a party. I'll
even let you sleep on my floor. Now you can't say fairer than that!
Phil H 24/8/2000, 13:29
happy howmet
Davey Wid - Outside Edge, an amusing comedy about Cricket is it
not? As Herr Patrick asks, when is this ditty and where and do
you play the bat?
Simon Hopes 23/8/2000, 14:43
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
Who is this berk ????? Rhyming couplets are so 1999.
The Useless Predictor 23/8/2000, 14:41
UselessPredictor@foretell.com
Wrong again David, Look further afield, if you want the identity
of the Predictor revealed. And now, my useless prediction for today
........................... Our dear Richard Sully will soon take
a wife, and we wish him well for the whole of his life. But beware
of this foul prediction I make, that on their third anniversary,
their oven will break.........
dave 23/8/2000, 12:13
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Dave WId - I am interested in your Thespian activities. Is said
'Outside Edge' with that performing troupe 'The Stone Revellers',
where can a mere mortal buy tickets? What is the date? Do you want
me to come?
The Revealer 23/8/2000, 8:22
revealer@another.com
Look, if anyone is going to speak in a funny way and make dumb
observations about people - its going to be me - alright. It is
true - its bloody well revealed................
dave 22/8/2000, 17:52
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
I certainly Hopes so.
The Useless Predictor 22/8/2000, 17:27
UselessPredictor@foretell.com
Alas poor David, you are sadly wrong, the Useless Predictor is
another of your throng. But wait 'til tomorrow and you will see,
yet another useless prediction sent straight from me.
dave 22/8/2000, 16:5
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Nice one Andy, dig those rhyming couplets man.
And now.................. 22/8/2000, 10:54
Email Not Given
For too long now The Revealer's tell has had you under their magic
spell. So now make way for your worthy evictor and welcome in the
reign of The Useless Predictor..........................................................................................
Today, I shall predict that Andy Roughton will own a lawnmower
by the age of 43.
The Revealer 22/8/2000, 8:23
revealer@another.com
Speak your truths to me and I will reveal. If you fear the wrath
of those who you wish revealed, hide behind the mask of the revealer.
Mail your revellations to me!
The Revealer 21/8/2000, 19:22
.@.
They seek me here, they seek me there, my fluff doth stink, but
I don't care...
Dave Wid 21/8/2000, 18:40
COME AND SEE 'OUTSIDE EDGE'. ITS A PLAY I'M IN. I PLAY A MAN. E-MAIL ME FOR FURTHER DETAILS. MESSAGES IN CAPS WILL BE IGNORED
simon Hopes 21/8/2000, 17:32
cantbebothered.com
Yes........ who is the Revealer ? Sarge ? Rosemary ? Henry, the mild mannered
janitor................ Could be.
The Revealer 21/8/100, 16:57
.@.
Today I shall reveal, the identity of the revealer, or shall I? Hmmmmm, so many
candidates, but who could have the stomach for it?
The Revealer 21/8/2000, 10:35
.@.
Basted with man fat.
Simon Hopes 21/8/2000, 10:21
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
So........ Michelle Collins goes over the fire..... yes ??
dave 18/8/2000, 13:11
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Oh, enlightened Revealer - thank you for picking up on that one. It was not a
comment that should have passed without remark. On the subject of porn, did you
know that Andy Roughton is trying to negotiate a porn site domain for a 'client'?
Oooo, I'm sure he won't mind me sharing that one with you. Do any other Madhatters
run Porn sites on the Net?
The Revealer 18/8/2000, 8:41
.@.
Today I reveal ..............to the naive Master Hopes........that a 'Spit Roast'
is a sexual activity involving three people with at least two penises. Not each
of course, between them. So, Simon, now close you're eyes and picture a hog on
a spit roast. Now replace the skewars with with the two penises and finally Michelle
Collins for the Hog...........hence 'Spit Roast'
Ken 17/8/2000, 16:59
Email Not Given
Happy Birthday Gaz, have a good one and hope to see you soon..but unfortunately
not tonight...
Dave 17/8/2000, 13:40
dave.patrick@hello.net
Happy Birthday sir Gary, sorr y I can't be with you tonight but I have some posh
do that was arranged yonks ago. Have a good one.
Gary Stevenson 16/8/2000, 21:4
""
UAC FACT:
Simon once announced to the cast and crew: "I never said I was a
good director - I just said I was a director"
Gary Stevenson 16/8/2000, 20:59
as before
I'd just like to point out that Simon never has and never will be my brother.
Frank Zappa 16/8/2000, 12:16
Frank@Moonunit.co.uk
What I want to know is when my favourite band 'Silent Prayers' are playing again.
Any plans ? I've also been hearing a lot about a forthcoming release from 'Otis'
- any plans to gig boys ??
simon again 15/8/2000, 16:42
etc etc etc
...... and happy birthday Roger
Simon Hopes 15/8/2000, 16:41
as below
A what ?????
Michelle Collins 15/8/2000, 12:43
Email Not Given
Fancy a bit Gaz? How about a spit roast with Si?
Dave 15/8/2000, 12:6
dave.patrick@realtouch.net
... as I'm way too lazy to send a card.
Dave 15/8/2000, 12:6
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
As Stevenson and Hopes slug it out I'd like to take this opportunity to wish
Roger a happy birthday today...
Simon Hopes 15/8/2000, 10:13
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
To be absolutely honest with you, I think of Gary as something of a brother.
Not a very close or well liked one, but a brother nevertheless. Happy Birthday
mate !!!!
Gary Stevenson 14/8/2000, 22:48
garys@intonet.co.uk
Indeed I will be 43 this Thursday. If you happen to be going to be near the hopesian
residence that day why not pop in to the local pub 'The Bell' where you might
find Gary and Simon ignoring each other (and hopefully some other friends too).
Dave: have you made this message box deliberatly small so we keep our mesages
short? And can you include a spell-cheker? Thought not.
Gary Stevenson 14/8/2000, 22:40
garys@intonet.co.uk
Looking at the speed at which Simon can send emails - I wish he would edit his
films at a similar rate. Who ever is is.
Keith, how's the monkey?
Jesus 14/8/2000, 13:39
Jesus@heaven.co.uk
And as the bell struck 12, he did deny knowledge of his friend thrice and, knowing
of what he had done, Simon wept bitterly and rent his cloak.
Simon Hopes 14/8/2000, 13:38
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
Gary who ???
Simon Hopes 14/8/2000, 13:38
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
I honestly have never met anyone called Gary in my life.
Simon Hopes 14/8/2000, 13:37
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
Gary and I have never worked together. In fact I'm not even sure I know the name.
David Coultard 14/8/2000, 13:35
Dave@dishwater.net
Actually F1 fans, it's a little know fact that Gary Stevenson will be celebrating
his 43rd birthday this Thursday. So we wish you wealth and happiness on your
special day.
Dave 14/8/2000, 13:19
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Well, thanks for the kind comments, but I didn't construct this site as 'an 'omage
to web programming - we want some news and gossip man. So come on - why have
so few used the News story - are you scared, ooooh (insert wetty scream here)?
C'mon Wild - where's the exclusive on the reformation of Rap'tou, Gary, can't
you do an expose on what it's really like to work with Hopesy? Bloody chicken's
- the lot of you. Still, it's good to hear from Keith, where have you been mate
- how's the Butlins residency? Do you still stick your fist up that duck's arse?
Unknown Person 14/8/2000, 13:25
David Hasselhoff
David@wank.com
Keith Harris 14/8/2000, 10:2
Keith@orvill.net
Well I think you're fab Gazza old boy.
Gary Stevenson 13/8/2000, 22:41
garys@intonet.co.uk
I haven't really got much else to say apart from that I think this Web site is
fab. Also, just checked out the Silent Prayers site - that's fab too.
Si Burges 11/8/2000, 13:41
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
So, Dave. A shower, eh? Does this mean that your belly button will no longer
smell so rancid?
DAve Wid 11/8/2000, 12:9
Hello all. I've moved house - still in Sunny Stone Staffs but now I live in the High Street, where all the beautiful people from Stone live...........oh......and me. The new address is 61A, The High Street, Stone, Staffs. ST15 8AD. So, now you now where to send all that hate mail. The flat is realy great and I've finally got a shower. Quite a novelty for the north. I've finally made it, I live above an Estate Agents in a flat with a shower so strong it pins you to the floor like a 27st prostitute. PS Just for the record, Dave Patrick bought me a trivet in 1994. He's always known what one was.
Dave 7/8/2000, 22:57
dave.patrick@etc
Just like to say a big congratulations on behalf of Madhatters to Paul Scullion
and Claire Paisey who were married this Saturday.
Dave 4/8/2000, 9:46
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Hi Kath, it's nice to hear from you on the site. Are you still going up to Edinburgh
for the end week of August? Roughts, Caro and I will be there - come to think
about it is anyone else? By the way I have seen the rough cut of Mr Hopes new
flick 'The Trouble WIth Mack' and it is funny - I think people are going to like
it, oh yes.
Ken Rodrigues 4/8/2000, 8:29
Email Not Given
Well Mr Hopes, not much in the way of cocaine, though I'm
reliably told that the price per g has has held it's value in Soho quite well
in trying times..."those f******g pigs" as one of colleagues keeps telling me.
Film wise...I sneakily managed to wander onto one of The Mummy 2 sets' which
looks great...I'll be at Shepperton again in a couple of weeks so I will try
and get a few photos and send them to Mr Patrick. looking forward to the premiere....
Kathryn Whibley 2/8/2000, 13:45
kathryn.whibley@weightmans.com
yo! A message from your friendly scouser - cool hey! I just thought I'd write
a quickie message cause Dave moans no one writes in..anyway I'm now in Manc so
if anyone is passing come and say hi, also does anyone know of anyone who wants
a lift to Cornwall from up North?...see ya!
Simon Hopes 2/8/2000, 9:48
shopes@dentonwildesapte
Well Ken, thanks for asking..... The two latest film projects from UAC Film Productions
are in the final editing phase as we speak (or as I type anyway). For those who
don't know anything about these two films, I will be writing a little UAC Update
for David's breaking news section. In the meantime, word on the street is that
we will shortly be announcing another star studded double bill premiere later
this year/early in the new year. But enough about me, what I think we'd all like
to hear about is the latest news from the fast paced, cocaine fuelled world of
the real film industry !
Ken Rodrigues 31/7/2000, 22:5
Ken_Rodrigues@fsmail.net
Simon Hopes, how the devil are you? When can I see your last
2 film projects "The Trouble with Mack" & "Collection Point"....
simon hopes 31/7/2000, 17:6
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
As you can see, I haven't quite got the hang of this technology malarky yet,
but what Ihave been trying to say is that I too have just read Nic's article
and also have a tear in my eye. David W. - perhaps we could have a tear in our
eye together one day. After all, I couldn't help noticing that you were a man.....
and that I'm a man.... and perhaps we could..... well..... you know .............
Simon 31/7/2000, 17:3
Email Not Given
Nothing said.
simon hopes 31/7/2000, 17:3
s
Nothing said.
Simon Hopes 31/7/2000, 17:2
s
Nothing said.
Dave Wid 31/7/2000, 11:54
Email Not Given
I have just read Mr McMahons article. I now have a tear in my eye and a feeling
of warmth in my heart.
Si Burges 27/7/2000, 14:18
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Now, Dave - you know I can't make the 21st October! Now, what with missing the
first game with a broken leg it's just plain cruel to schedule another match
when I'm not in the country.
Dave 25/7/2000, 16:11
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Yes, there are thousands of people in Kent... Anyway, Jol and Badger thanks for
your deposit cheques. We are looking at organising another Football Match in
October - how's the 21st with everyone?
Unknown Person 20/7/2000, 23:34
Email Not Given
Anyone in Kent???
Simon H 20/7/2000, 17:22
Email Not Given
What I meant to say was.... hope to see you at the next one. Simon. I did
not of course mean that I want to definitely see everyone called Simon at the
next gig. Actually, come to think of it - I do.
Simon H 20/7/2000, 17:19
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
I just wanted to say how absolutely great I thought the Silent Prayers gig was
last night. If you weren't there - you missed out !!! Please make sure you're
at the next one. They're great fun, it's a good way of seeing people you maybe
haven't seen for a while (working on the principle you want to !) and I know
the support would be welcomed by Davy P, Si B and all in the band - who are well
overdue a record signing as far as I'm concerned ! Hope to see you at the next
one, Simon
farhan merchee 20/7/100, 20:28
farhan_khan@www.com
hello
Davey P 20/7/2000, 11:49
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Shot down in flames man. Hope you have come down to earth after your football
success... btw where's the Banquet deposit? Love ya man.
Dave Wid 20/7/2000, 9:53
manydifferentplaces
Nice to see the demise of the pointless gimmick. Did it crash?
Simon Archibald Hopes 19/7/2000, 15:19
shopes@dentonwildesapte.com
Dear Editor,
I was recently out walking my dog (a 70 year old cocker spaniel) and a number
of people started laughing at me. I immediately realised it was because I had
dressed as a pissed Australian woman in the 1990 pantomime, Alec in Wonderland.
Have any other Madhatters encountered ridicule for the parts they played in UHDS
plays and is there some form of counseling available ?
Simon
Davey P 19/7/2000, 11:50
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Hi, Just wanted to mention that I've got a gig on today in London, W4. See down
the page for details - hope to see some of you there
Si B 18/7/2000, 13:27
simon.burges@bigfoot.com
Dave, don't forget to add:-
Now get off moiy web-site!
Davey P 17/7/2000, 17:3
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Surely you can't mean Tim 'O Tei, the famous Hoodsman? Anyway, I don't much like
your tone Revealer, anyone who has to mask their identity with a poncy alias
deserves all they get.
The Revealer 17/7/2000, 11:0
.@.
I speaketh the truth, non believer. My revelations are not mere falsehood, they
a revealed to me by my spirit guide, Tim. He being a spirit of truth and light,
he cannot lie and speaks only the true word of the Yjingh-Hop.
Davey P 14/7/2000, 10:14
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Now, firstly Mr or Miss or Mrs or Ms or Dr or Prof Revealer, how have you come
by such information about Sally? Is this another veil of deceit, or is it something
deeper? Show your true colours... by the way it was nice to finally hear from
Mr Slinger on the site - about time too! Anyway, where are those reviews about
the footy match - you can post thme up to the site you know. Oh and I have a
gig in W4 (Gunnersbury) at the John Bull this Wednesday - please come as it will
be great.
Davey P 14/7/2000, 10:7
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
To answer Josie's request - firstly no I haven't heard from Chris for ages. The
last time I spoke to him was at the 1996 MH Banquet. I have sent a couple of
flyers to his address in Bray, Maidenhead, but if anyone has heard from the man
let us know. I'm sure he must have an e-mail address by now... maybe some sniffing
around the Net. Secondly, hope you manage to find someone foryour 'big wordy'
type job description... I would like to help but alas, I can't.
Josie 14/7/2000, 9:13
josie.hughes@askeurope.com
Help needed / Cash opportunity
I work for a training and development company, and we're in the process of developing an integrated professional and leadership development programme for marketing professionals.
We need someone with knowledge/experience of marketing and data gathering to help with the task of identifying and gathering substantial amounts of data to be used as part of a business simulation, but have exhausted our normal resource sources. We need a least one person (possibly more) for about fifteen working days to gather data for use before the end of August. We'll pay up to £100
per day plus any necessary travelling expenses. If you can help / know anyone
that can help / would like more information, please e-mail me at josie.hughes@askeurope.com
Thanks
Josie 13/7/2000, 16:1
josie.hughes@askeurope.com
Hello
It's raining in sunny Milton Keynes, the wind is whirling around the office,
and so I decided to look at Madhatters for a bit of light relief from all the
work I should be dong. Anyway, looking through all the pictures made me realise
I've not heard anything of Chris Niker for years - does anyone know where he
is or what he's up to? Any news would be great!!
The Revealer 12/7/2000, 0:27
.@.
Today I reveal...............that Sally Bacheolor is getting married.......It
is true, it is revealed!
Ann Dee 10/7/100, 14:30
Email Not Given
Alll gone a bit quiet here recently. Nevermind, I'd just like to wish Dave a
very happy 32nd birthday to day and perhaps a new discussion could be around
his age compared to achievements to date for a new poll on maturity. I happen
to know that Dave has a family saloon, mortgage, shed and that all important
trivet. Sets a high standard, but has he left it too late?
Rob S 5/7/2000, 13:0
rob.slinger@realtouch.net
Apologies to all for missing the footie on Saturday, and moreover I am saddened
that I didn't get a chance to catch up with you all. Anyway, I have paid Daveth
the 25 pearly squid for the banquet now (yes I too got a reminder through the
email - and I work with him...!) so I look forward to seeing you all there. Cheers
Champione 3/7/2000, 10:22
Email Not Given
Champione, Champione, oh way oh way oh way!
Champione, Champione, oh way oh way oh way!
Dave 2/7/2000, 21:22
Email Not Given
Well, congratulations to the Madhatters Rest of the World XI, after a close fought
battle, they were victorious over the Herts XI by 5 goals to 4. What a worthy
match - hopefully to be repeated very soon!
Dave 'Tit for Tat' Patrick 30/6/2000, 13:51
dave.patrick@bigfoot.com
Yeah, you know the score mate. Read 'Davids' instead of 'Pointless Gimmick -
actually I wish I'd brought 2 of those shirts now, it would have made quite a
photo opportunity. Anyway Blond boy, you couldn't... 'insert witty, footbal related
jibe here'
Dave 'Goading' Wid 30/6/2000, 13:35
Wow Dave - This time you've really excelled yourself. It does freaky scroll bar
things as well - I only wish I could look through Miles Poulton's child like
eyes and sit mesmerised for hours.......now set it up so we can change the text